Annulment to non Catholic

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Irish1990

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I married a non-Catholic ( non-practicing mormon) on January 12th 2019. We haven’t even reached a year and already he has cheated on me, he’s lied about many things and failed to keep many of his promises prior to marriage. I’m devastated because I was stupid enough to think a marriage with someone who didn’t share the same beliefs as I would work but I was also in a very weak spot with my faith at the time which I believe contributed to it. I’m thinking of getting an annulment as he is determined to divorce me even though I forgave him and still wanted to fight to save our marriage. Also, we have a 4 month old baby. My husband has suffered abuse I was not aware of prior to marriage and also had serious addictions I do not remember being discussed prior to marrying. Do you think I’ll be granted one? I’m only 25 and do not want to live the rest of my life out as a single mother. I’m really hurting from all of this…

Sincerely,
  • A stupid Catholic
 
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I’m sorry you are going through this ordeal. You’ve dealt with a lot in this last year. Happily, not all bad. Congratulations on the birth of your child. I’m guessing your husband didn’t follow through with RCIA or baptism you mentioned in your previous posts? In regards to an annulment, you’ll need to talk to your priest as our opinions carry no weight in regards to your situation. I’ll be praying for you and I recommend you add a prayer request to the sub forum. God bless.
 
If your husband is unbaptized (Mormons do not have valid baptism) and you divorce you have two avenues you could pursue:

Tribunal annulment if there are grounds

Favor of the faith (Petrine Privilege) which is the dissolution of a valid, natural marriage.
 
If vital information was withheld from you before marriage, if you were lied to, then I believe it will be considered not a valid marriage since you cannot truly consent if you don’t fully know what you’re really consenting to.
 
You should speak to your priest or diocesan tribunal. Both should be able to advise you. The process works, however, on whether your marriage was valid as the time it happened. Unlike civil divorce it does not look at what has happened after marriage. For example, you cannot be granted an annulment for his unfaithfulness or unreasonable behaviour.

Speak to those who know about these things (priest or tribunal). There are things to consider such as did you get married in a the Catholic Church (you do not say). If you did not there is an easy process because of what is known as lack of canonical form. If your husband has never been baptised in a form recognised as valid by the Catholic Church you needed to be dispensed from the impediment of disparity of cult. If you did marry in the Catholic Church was this dispensation granted?

Ring the tribunal. It seems like a big step but you will find them helpful. I shall pray for you at this very difficult time.
 
We were married in the Catholic Church and received a special dispensation for him being baptized as a mormon. I did not know before we were married he had a pornography addiction, that his dad sent him porn at the age of 13. He did go to RCIA with me and stopped as soon as we were married. He promised he would go to church with me and help raise our Son Catholic prior to getting married but the only thing he did was attend his baptism. Had I known his dad was sending him porn and he had an addiction I would not have married him because I know how serious sexual addictions change people. He also said when we were dating that if there was a loss of love one should get a divorce, I said I could not marry him if he believed in divorce being okay for any reason. He changed his mind later on and said marriage is eternal so I thought for some stupid reason I was safe in thinking I could marry him.
 
Irish1990 said:
I would not have married him because I know how serious sexual addictions change people.
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You may not be in a valid marriage. Talk to your Priest about that.

Sometimes, even marriages that seemed doomed from the start can be saved. It would require real change, based on the genuine love of both parties.

Both?
Yep, you would have to move away from fear (devil), driven decisions.

You want it to work but are coming from a position of weakness vs. strength.
To understand, read James Dobson’s “Love must be Tough”. (Do not show him this book)

PS, You’re certainly not stupid! For God, love, life and value you’re out there trying! Brave girl!
 
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Speak to your pastor. Go to counseling with your husband or without him.

Decide if you want to work to save your marriage.

You cannot pursue a decree of nullity or Petrine Privilege until after a divorce. Do not put the cart before the horse.

I know you want people here to tell you that you will get a decree of nullity. Indeed many things you’ve told us point to issues in the marriage, but NO ONE here can say your marriage is invalid or that you will obtain a decree of nullity.

Speak to your pastor.
 
Retsel said:
It’s not a valid marriage.
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You cannot say that. No one can say that.

They married in the Church and have a marriage that is presumed valid until proven otherwise.
 
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I tried and had been trying to save it but mentally I think he’s spun and cannot handle any confrontation or serious conversation of any kind. He refuses to even talk to me and says that I’m pushing him away if I even try to ask him what’s going on? Or what he is looking for. I know that only the Catholic Church can grant it but I did want to see what others had to say about it. I feel so sick about all of this but I know even if he was willing to try and make the marriage work he would be an awful example for our son and I sincerely doubt things will get better. He has made a habit of telling lies and concealing things our entire marriage. I will have to obtain a divorce first but this whole thing is so messy.
 
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You must decide whether you want to try and save your marriage or proceed to a divorce. It takes two to make a marriage and if your husband will make no effort then nothing you do alone can resolve it.

It sounds to me as if he is trying to push all the blame on to you. Sadly, this is an all too common scenario.

Marriage guidance counselling is one option but you would need to be certain that your husband was fully involved and meant to keep any commitments he makes.

I wish you well and will remember you, your child and your husband in my prayers.
 
Thank you for your prayers. The holidays are supposed to be special and I wanted to spend Christmas together as a family my heart and soul feel so sick and so heavy. I just wish he could feel that I love him and I want our marriage to be better. I’ve told him these things and I made every effort and it still is not going anywhere. He really isnt talking to me. I had to move out to my parents and now I’m living with them and my 4 month old. He has made no effort to come out and see his son and does not reach out to us. I am really trying to be strong and together right now at least for my adorable baby boy.
 
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