T
thestickman
Guest
Here’s the latest chapter in my annulment saga/nitemare:
I received a letter from the Tribunal yesterday which has me wondering “who has misinformed who”. For this to make sense I need to back up and tell you when my present wife and I sat down with the Deacon who worked with us on our annulments (parish priest is too busy to be bothered with them) 15+ months ago. The man looked us both in the eye and said, “If the exwife doesn’t respond to the questionaire it will be handled as it would in any civil court. You sue someone, they don’t respond or show up for court they lose, you win.”
My ex-wife never responded to the Tribunal’s questionaire.
15 months ago, the Deacon told my wife and I that I had to list 2 people as witnesses to the problems in my 1st marriage. I told him there were no witnesses to the problems in my 1st marriage (except for my in-laws and they aren’t doing anything to assist me in any fashion and my parents who would cut off their arms with bread knives if they thought it would keep me from becoming Catholic and neither of them know all the gory details anyway), because I didn’t advertise the awful things I was doing (I was a very bad husband) and there was not going to be any way to change that reality.
Deacon told me that I at least needed 2 witnesses who could confirm they knew my ex-wife and I were married. So I found 2 friends from way back who I knew would take the time to fill the questionaire and would do so honestly.
These 2 gals filled out the forms and sent them in.
Included in my original paperwork and in detail in the 40+ page written response to the main questionaire I filled out last year, I made mention of the fact I had been treated at X hospital by Doctor X for depression. This was relevant to one of the reasons for a defect of consent. I signed a release of information form, filled in the correct name of the doctor, address and the correct name of the hospital…sent it all in to the Tribunal.
Yesterday, I received a letter from the Tribunal telling me they received and read the responses from my 2 witnesses. However, because my 2 witnesses couldn’t corroborate information in my statements (as I told the Deacon face-to-face and like I wrote in my responses to the Tribunal questionnaire would be the case), to the Tribunal they were unacceptable. I have THREE WEEKS to come up with 2 new witnesses who can/will confirm my assertions. No such persons actually exist, but i have to come up with them anyway.
In this same letter, I read the Tribunal never got a response from Doctor X nor the hospital I was treated in. No big surprise there since in this letter the Monsignor had the Doctor’s name wrong and the name of the hospital wrong as well.
Also, in this letter from the Tribunal I learn my ex-wife hadn’t responded to the questionnaire (no surprise there) and because no one responding to the Tribunal’s questionnaire’s could confirm or had knowledge of why my marriage to my 1st wife failed–they couldn’t proceed to the hearing phase of my case.
I have 3 weeks to come up with folks who don’t exist to fill out a questionnaire that won’t be back in the hands of the tribunal in 21 days.
Before Mass this morning, my present (and final) wife, went to the Deacon mentioned above and asked him what in the world was going on. We had followed all his directions and now the case might be frozen in place. His cya response was, “I never said this would work out in your favor.”
My wife kindly informed him this wasn’t about the annulment being granted or denied, it was about the case proceeding. “I’ll call them tomorrow but I’ve done all I can.”
I plan on calling the Tribunal office Tuesday to let them know of the error of the Doctor’s name and the hospital. The parish priest where I now attend daily Mass is going to assist me in trying to get info directly from this doctor and the hospital. **Outside of that, anyone have any suggestions? **We are praying often and regularly–for the people in the Tribunal and that God’s Will be done one way or the other in the annulment matter: be it granted or denied.
Any advice or assistance would be greatly appreciated.
I received a letter from the Tribunal yesterday which has me wondering “who has misinformed who”. For this to make sense I need to back up and tell you when my present wife and I sat down with the Deacon who worked with us on our annulments (parish priest is too busy to be bothered with them) 15+ months ago. The man looked us both in the eye and said, “If the exwife doesn’t respond to the questionaire it will be handled as it would in any civil court. You sue someone, they don’t respond or show up for court they lose, you win.”
My ex-wife never responded to the Tribunal’s questionaire.
15 months ago, the Deacon told my wife and I that I had to list 2 people as witnesses to the problems in my 1st marriage. I told him there were no witnesses to the problems in my 1st marriage (except for my in-laws and they aren’t doing anything to assist me in any fashion and my parents who would cut off their arms with bread knives if they thought it would keep me from becoming Catholic and neither of them know all the gory details anyway), because I didn’t advertise the awful things I was doing (I was a very bad husband) and there was not going to be any way to change that reality.
Deacon told me that I at least needed 2 witnesses who could confirm they knew my ex-wife and I were married. So I found 2 friends from way back who I knew would take the time to fill the questionaire and would do so honestly.
These 2 gals filled out the forms and sent them in.
Included in my original paperwork and in detail in the 40+ page written response to the main questionaire I filled out last year, I made mention of the fact I had been treated at X hospital by Doctor X for depression. This was relevant to one of the reasons for a defect of consent. I signed a release of information form, filled in the correct name of the doctor, address and the correct name of the hospital…sent it all in to the Tribunal.
Yesterday, I received a letter from the Tribunal telling me they received and read the responses from my 2 witnesses. However, because my 2 witnesses couldn’t corroborate information in my statements (as I told the Deacon face-to-face and like I wrote in my responses to the Tribunal questionnaire would be the case), to the Tribunal they were unacceptable. I have THREE WEEKS to come up with 2 new witnesses who can/will confirm my assertions. No such persons actually exist, but i have to come up with them anyway.
In this same letter, I read the Tribunal never got a response from Doctor X nor the hospital I was treated in. No big surprise there since in this letter the Monsignor had the Doctor’s name wrong and the name of the hospital wrong as well.
Also, in this letter from the Tribunal I learn my ex-wife hadn’t responded to the questionnaire (no surprise there) and because no one responding to the Tribunal’s questionnaire’s could confirm or had knowledge of why my marriage to my 1st wife failed–they couldn’t proceed to the hearing phase of my case.
I have 3 weeks to come up with folks who don’t exist to fill out a questionnaire that won’t be back in the hands of the tribunal in 21 days.
Before Mass this morning, my present (and final) wife, went to the Deacon mentioned above and asked him what in the world was going on. We had followed all his directions and now the case might be frozen in place. His cya response was, “I never said this would work out in your favor.”
My wife kindly informed him this wasn’t about the annulment being granted or denied, it was about the case proceeding. “I’ll call them tomorrow but I’ve done all I can.”
I plan on calling the Tribunal office Tuesday to let them know of the error of the Doctor’s name and the hospital. The parish priest where I now attend daily Mass is going to assist me in trying to get info directly from this doctor and the hospital. **Outside of that, anyone have any suggestions? **We are praying often and regularly–for the people in the Tribunal and that God’s Will be done one way or the other in the annulment matter: be it granted or denied.
Any advice or assistance would be greatly appreciated.
My mother is dead set against ANYBODY getting an anullment, no matter the circumstances. She has stayed married to my father for almost 50 years, and it was a rough way to go. She also used to think that girls should be married or sent to the convent before their 21st birthdays, to keep them “pure”. Yet, I listed her as a possible witness. Her written testimony on her personal beliefs made the tribunal look toward the strong possibility that anybody who was raised in such an environment would have a definite problem fully making a marriage vow without some distance.
