Annulment vs. Divorce

[forever_always]

I have a friend who is going through a divorce with his wife of almost two years. They are divorcing because of many reasons, but the biggest is that she never grew up. She still wants to party, while he wants to start a family while he is still young… before they had married she said she wanted a big family. Afterwards, she decided that she didn’t want kids. They are 25 and are not religious at all.

My question is, what is the difference between an annulment and a divorce? He asked me the other day, and I had no idea how to answer. He wants to know when it is “okay” for him to date again. This all happened about a week ago. She is moving back home (they are from out of state as he is military) this weekend after signing the paperwork. Has anyone gone through this? Any words or advice to help him though this? He says the divorce is going smoothly because she never really cared… it’s so sad.

 

[ComputerGeek25]

I have a friend who is going through a divorce with his wife of almost two years. They are divorcing because of many reasons, but the biggest is that she never grew up. She still wants to party, while he wants to start a family while he is still young… before they had married she said she wanted a big family. Afterwards, she decided that she didn’t want kids. They are 25 and are not religious at all.

My question is, what is the difference between an annulment and a divorce? He asked me the other day, and I had no idea how to answer. He wants to know when it is “okay” for him to date again. This all happened about a week ago. She is moving back home (they are from out of state as he is military) this weekend after signing the paperwork. Has anyone gone through this? Any words or advice to help him though this? He says the divorce is going smoothly because she never really cared… it’s so sad.

A divorce is for civil/secular matters only - i.e. division of property, custody of children, etc. It has no bearing on marraige as a sacrament.

An anullment looks at whether an actual valid marriage took place when vows were exchanged. A tribunal will have to look into this, and declare whether or not the sacrament of marriage took place.

He will need both in order to start dating again. At least from a Catholic perspective…

 

[1ke]

I recommend that you spring for a copy of the book Annulment: The Wedding That Was by Michael Smith Foster if your friend is Catholic and wanting answers regarding the Catholic teaching on divorce, nullity, and marriage.

You mentioned that your friend is not religious, so I’m wondering if he was asking about the difference between a **civil divorce **and a civil annulment.

They are different things under the law, but not the same thing as the nullity process in the Catholic Church.

 

[FastLearner]

I think that might be the confusion here:

Civil Divorce - the legal marriage existed, and now it’s being legally ended

Civil Annulment - the legal marriage never existed (think of someone getting drunk in Vegas, getting married as a joke, then waking up the next morning in shock - the argument can be made that drunk person could not consent to marriage while drunk)

Canonical Annulment - a marriage was attempted, but there existed some impediment that made the marriage invalid

 

[violeta7]

I think you got the answer from other members. I am going through divorce right now and will be looking to anul my marriage as well. Very, very sad. I really did not mean to disappoint God.

 

[nodito]

I think you got the answer from other members. I am going through divorce right now and will be looking to anul my marriage as well. Very, very sad. I really did not mean to disappoint God.

Violeta,

You may not have disappointed God. Take heart! A marriage can be null based on the attitude or disposition of even just one of the partners. If you attempted marriage in good faith, there’s no fault on your part. God bless.

 

[forever_always]

Thank you all for your answers… I think his marriage was just a service in a christian church… probably baptist, as that’s what he attended as a young child.

Prayers to you Violeta… God Bless.

 

[AlaAnnie]

Thank you all for your answers… I think his marriage was just a service in a christian church… probably baptist, as that’s what he attended as a young child.

Prayers to you Violeta… God Bless.

Then, he would probably only need an anullment of his first marriage if he were to want to marry a Catholic girl in the Catholic church in order to be certain that that marriage is a valid sacramental marriage.

 

[forever_always]

Oookay, I understand. I never had to deal with divorce or annulment, so I had no idea!

 

[FastLearner]

For advice on whether he is eligible for a civil annulment (certain conditions must apply), he needs to contact an attorney in his state. That attorney should then be able to advise him on which option he should pursue.

For reference: nolo.com/article.cfm/objectId/EB3E49D3-833C-4F6C-80E2E3D09F6AD1C3/118/246/222/ART/

But the important point: A Civil Annulment is not the same as a Catholic Annulment. These are two separate processes by two separate groups, and getting one type of annulment does not make the other automatic. Sorry about the bolding - I just wanted to point that out because I think it’s a really important point.

He asked me the other day, and I had no idea how to answer. He wants to know when it is “okay” for him to date again.

I must have glanced over this too quickly the first time. Since your answer to this question is based on your faith, you’ll obviously have a different answer than a non-Catholic. So why would he ask you when it’s OK to date?

Maybe he’s trying to open up to you about some level of spiritual curiosity? Maybe he is interested in learning more about the Church or even converting (in which case, maybe he is interested in learning about annulments in the Church). It seems like it’s a good idea to talk to him about the situation.

If he’s concerned about qualifying for an Annulment in the Church, you can show him this and note the comment about “concealing the truth about the capacity or desire to have children”:

Most annulments are based on canon 1095, psychological reasons. These include a wide range of factors. Some of them may be misrepresentation or fraud (concealing the truth about capacity or desire to have children for example, or about an preexisting marriage, drug addiction, felony convictions, sexual preference or having reached the age of consent)