Annulment

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maplegrovedude

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I recently received a negative decision in my request for an annulment. I’m am rather surprised as I was forthright, felt solid that my situation meets the criteria, etc…

I would like to discuss other peoples experiences who have faced this situation. I plan to appeal with my advocate’s support, but I am reaching out to this community as I am not ready to discuss this w/ my family right now.

I could use some prayer and thoughtful feedback right now…Thanks in advance for your replies.
 
Hopefully you will get some more responses now that this has been moved to the Family Life forum.

That must be really dificult to receive a negative response. I am working on my petition right now, and I know I would be crushed to hear back that my marriage was found to be valid. I feel so strongly that there is no possible way that it is. You must have the same feeling too. Do you feel that it is because you didn’t communicate the situation adequately, didn’t have the right witnesses or evidence…? What do you think might be the problem? Or when you really look into yourself, do you think that the tribunal presented you with the truth? I can imagine that would be a scary thought.

I also notice you are listed as a Protestant. Were you thinking of becoming a Catholic or marrying a Catholic? What brought you to seek a declaration of nullity?

Just wanted to make sure that you know you are not alone out there and that there is someone praying for you for some peace,healing, and strength. God bless.
 
Thank you for your kind words.

I am a protestant but my direction was that I felt very compelled to start the conversion process this fall. The person who I am seeing is a very strong Catholic, (one of the many things I love about her), and we have a very deep and commited relationship.

I felt confident about the annulment, but I also supplied in excess of 175 pages of affidavivits, depositions, witness statements, etc… One of the biggest obstacles is that I swept our issues under the rug for many, many years. That is working against me as it limits me sometimes to a he said-she said situation.

A few things…I didn’t know people from her past, and her family is enabling her mental issues. I also think the witness I did have “held back” too much in their testimony “to be kind” to my ex. This, against a backdrop of her not being cooperative at all w/ the process, (fighting it and not wanting to face the realities), doesn’t help.

Thank you for your prayers…they are appreciated.
 
That’s a difficult situation. I hope that you will put your faith first though, if you feel that you are being called to the Church. As long as you don’t remarry, being divorced would not keep you from being received into the Church.

Does your advocate think there is hope for an appeal?
 
I just posted my own “what if my annulment is denied” question, when I moved down and saw this. I have no advice, just many prayers heading your way!
 
My husband and I went with the decision of the church and have lived our lives as brother and sister for over ten years. It is a possible option. My husband and I have grown very close in other ways and just couldn’t live happily without the other’s companionship and love.
 
My father received an annulment for his marriage of 11 years with my mother after two children (me, 10 at the time and my brother about 8 or 9). He had also been married before this to another woman. I guess this shows that almost anyone can get an annulment depending on where they go, etc. I personally disagree with the churches decision to give him an annulment but its not my place to have an opinion on this though- i think it is just the emotional distress. (though im now 17)

caroline
 
johannahw said:
My husband and I went with the decision of the church and have lived our lives as brother and sister for over ten years. It is a possible option. My husband and I have grown very close in other ways and just couldn’t live happily without the other’s companionship and love.
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Thank you for sharing this. God will surely bless this life of heroic virtue.
 
celisabethp17 said:
My father received an annulment for his marriage of 11 years with my mother after two children (me, 10 at the time and my brother about 8 or 9). He had also been married before this to another woman. I guess this shows that almost anyone can get an annulment depending on where they go, etc. I personally disagree with the churches decision to give him an annulment but its not my place to have an opinion on this though- i think it is just the emotional distress. (though im now 17)

caroline
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Caroline, I’m so sorry that you experienced this pain at the hands of your parents breakup. This is one of the reasons the church normally fights so hard to prove the marital bond. However your fathers situation doesn’t really show what you stated it does. No it doesn’t show this at all. It possibly shows that your father was unable to make a valid marriage and that’s about all that can be concluded.Perhaps, when this isn’t a matter of personal distress you will study what marriage is about and what a person needs to bring to the sacrament.
Peace be with you .
 
johannahw said:
My husband and I went with the decision of the church and have lived our lives as brother and sister for over ten years. It is a possible option. My husband and I have grown very close in other ways and just couldn’t live happily without the other’s companionship and love.
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You are an example of Faith!
 
dulcissima said:
That’s a difficult situation. I hope that you will put your faith first though, if you feel that you are being called to the Church. As long as you don’t remarry, being divorced would not keep you from being received into the Church.

Does your advocate think there is hope for an appeal?
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dulcissima said:
That’s a difficult situation. I hope that you will put your faith first though, if you feel that you are being called to the Church. As long as you don’t remarry, being divorced would not keep you from being received into the Church.

Does your advocate think there is hope for an appeal?
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My advocate is out of the area and we have asked for an extention…he will review upon his retun and we will work together to review.
 
I’m sending my prayers to you as well.
My process with the Tribunal is moving along slowly as well (submitted in Feb 06). Recently, the last review by my advocate (just appointed in April of this year) and the Judge instructor, they felt there were some gaps. I replied to their questions. This has resulted in them needing additional ‘character witnesses’.

I too did not reach out to many (or any) people as my marriage was falling apart, so there are not many people who can vouch to the issues that occured. Same as you, I feel like it’s a she said-he said, my ex did participate, but filled out the questionnaire with yes/no answers and didn’t really provide much information. He basically said that things were ok and I left him without cause.

I am also a convert, as of last year, so my family doesn’t fully understand all of the issues around getting an annulment and what that means for my future.

I am sorry about your struggles, hopefully your advocate can help you. And please post an update when you and your advocate appeal.
 
I’m interested to know more about your annulment. Where you married by a catholic priest? Did you have children? Was your ex catholic or previously married?

I’m in the process of getting an annulment. It sounded like to me that if I was not catholic it would be an easy annulment. Because my wedding did not become valid until I was confirmed. It seems like location and age of the priest has a lot to do with how strict things are.

My Aunt was told by a very elderly priest that she should get annulment for her first marriage. But she was not catholic at the time, was not married to a catholic, and was not married by a priest in either her first or second marriage. She did not become catholic until after her second husband died. Also she does not plan on ever getting married again or even dating anyone.
 
I received an annulment and I was told by a priest that it is more about what happened before the marriage took place, meaning, was there some impediment to the marriage that made it invalid, present at the time of the wedding.
With my ex husband, it was obvious that he had no intention of being married in any shape or form. He had no intention of being with me exclusively or giving up anything he had done or was doing when he was single. He had affairs and thought nothing of them. Did not even think he had to only have relations with me. I think mine was granted on ‘lack of form’.
There is far more to it than the couple of things I have written but when people vehemently disagree with annulments, and then you get someone that did not have a clue as to what marriage is all about, then it is just of the church to grant them.
 
I received an annulment and I was told by a priest that it is more about what happened before the marriage took place, meaning, there was some impediment to the marriage that made it invalid, present at the time of the wedding.
With my ex husband, it was obvious that he had no intention of being married in any shape or form. He had no intention of being with me exclusively or giving up anything he had done or was doing when he was single. He had affairs and thought nothing of them. Did not even think he had to only have relations with me. I think mine was granted on ‘lack of form’.
There is far more to it than the couple of things I have written but when people vehemently disagree with annulments, and then you get someone that did not have a clue as to what marriage is all about, then it is just of the church to grant them.
 
teresarose said:
I’m interested to know more about your annulment. Where you married by a catholic priest? Did you have children? Was your ex catholic or previously married?

I’m in the process of getting an annulment. It sounded like to me that if I was not catholic it would be an easy annulment. Because my wedding did not become valid until I was confirmed. It seems like location and age of the priest has a lot to do with how strict things are.

My Aunt was told by a very elderly priest that she should get annulment for her first marriage. But she was not catholic at the time, was not married to a catholic, and was not married by a priest in either her first or second marriage. She did not become catholic until after her second husband died. Also she does not plan on ever getting married again or even dating anyone.
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The church does recognise some marriages, although not catholic, as valid marriages still. They may not be sacramental but they still may be considered by the tribunal as valid.
 
teresarose said:
It sounded like to me that if I was not catholic it would be an easy annulment. Because my wedding did not become valid until I was confirmed.
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This is a common misunderstanding.

Non-Catholics marry validly when they do so by their own church rules or in the absence of any requirements of form in their own church-- or if they do not practice a religion-- when married civilly.

Only Catholics are bound to Catholic form.

A marriage does not “become valid” when upon Confirmation, so I’m a little confused by your statement. Perhaps you can clarify.
teresarose said:
It seems like location and age of the priest has a lot to do with how strict things are.
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Canon Law is the same for everyone. This is another common myth about decrees of nullity.
teresarose said:
My Aunt was told by a very elderly priest that she should get annulment for her first marriage. But she was not catholic at the time, was not married to a catholic, and was not married by a priest in either her first or second marriage. She did not become catholic until after her second husband died. Also she does not plan on ever getting married again or even dating anyone.
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The priest gave her correct information.
 
I know how the canon law is suppose to be. However I also know that people are being allowed to marry in the catholic even though they were married before and without getting an annulment.

I was just trying to say that many people are being advised incorrectly on the need for an annulment.
 
The priest gave her correct information.

This makes no sense to me. Why do you need annulment for a marriage that took place before bapistism, especially if you don’t plan to marry again.

I’m so frustrated by the confusion and revenge that seems to surround annulments. If you are to be understood then you have to get an annulment during RCIA, not during the marriage process.
 
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