Annulment

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Billie4245

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Can someone explain to me why the catholic church makes it so easy to get a annulment? I am going through one presently.
My ex spouse is using the grounds that he never ment to be faithful when we were at the alter. So 26 yrs of my life was a scam. I think I’m more angry then hurt.

BAR
 
I’m going through the process now too. Why are you angry at the process though? I think your anger would be better placed in the direction of your ex-husband who never meant the vows he made. I know after 17 years of marriage, it is my ex-husband I am upset with, not the Church. I am thankful for the process so I can finally have the truth known.
 
You know, maybe your right, the truth will be known. Do you have children? What do they think? My oldest daughter is not taking this to well. My youngest is more accepting. I’m going to have to think about it the way you do. Thanks
 
Billie4245 said:
Can someone explain to me why the catholic church makes it so easy to get a annulment?
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I’m so sorry to hear that you are having to go through this.

Actually, when I went through my own petition process, I wondered why it wasn’t just as complicated to get married in the first place! If I had to fill out that questionnaire before the wedding I never would have gone through it to begin with.

But I understand you are on the receiving end of this in your situation, and I know it’s hard. Please look at this as a time to grow through your pain, not just live it in, and that this will be the beginning of a new life for you. Perhaps not what you thought this time of your life would be, but new nonetheless. And new means you have options and possibilities - even if that is only to learn a new hobby that you never considered before, or spend more time before Christ in the Eucharist. Whatever it is, it means your life will change, and hopefully it will be for the better.

May God bless you during this difficult time. And your family as well.

~Liza
 
Billie4245 said:
You know, maybe your right, the truth will be known. Do you have children? What do they think? My oldest daughter is not taking this to well. My youngest is more accepting. I’m going to have to think about it the way you do. Thanks
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I have 4 children. The older two are taking it hard, and they don’t even understand why there is such a thing. They’ve had some time to process the information though, and are slowly starting to understand. They just view the world as very black and white – if you get married you are married, period. It is difficult for them to understand how someone not having the proper intentions, or actually being mentally fit, at the time that vows were exchanged could mean that you weren’t really married. It really does take more than one person going in with the proper intentions to make a marriage valid.

I’m sorry for your pain, but really try to open up to this as a chance to learn the truth and to heal.
 
Billie4245 said:
Can someone explain to me why the catholic church makes it so easy to get a annulment? I am going through one presently.
My ex spouse is using the grounds that he never ment to be faithful when we were at the alter. So 26 yrs of my life was a scam. I think I’m more angry then hurt.

BAR
Click to expand...
It isn’t easy! I was so against Annulment as a new Catholic. It felt so unfair to pull my ex spouse into something that he did not understand as a non-Catholic. It felt very selfish to me. As I prayed and studied marriage and the holiness of it, I became interested in seeing how the church viewed my marriage, and why it failed. For me it was a window of learning.
After my marriage failed, I felt so lost and guilty, I begged God to give me some peace, understanding,and forgivness to both of us.
Throughout the year that it took for the Annulment, I prayed for myself and my ex. Since then, (three years later), I wrote my ex a personal letter as one believer to another.
I have been a Catholic for five years, I have not taken the Eucharist, I am waiting for my present husband’s Annulment to go through. He has been waiting for four years.

My question is: am I married or not?

Hibblyn
 
In my country it takes at least six years to get an annulment, usually around ten.
There are no cases of marriages with children being annulled.

So, to answer the OP, the Church doesn’t always give annulment so easy. Maybe just in the US.
 
Billie4245 said:
Can someone explain to me why the catholic church makes it so easy to get a annulment?
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There are many people who would disagree that it is “easy”, especially those who have their petitions denied and their marriage affirmed as valid.
Billie4245 said:
My ex spouse is using the grounds that he never ment to be faithful when we were at the alter. So 26 yrs of my life was a scam. I think I’m more angry then hurt.
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Be angry at your ex, not the Church. He may be using those grounds because it’s the truth-- he would certainly have to offer proof of that, however. If he’s making it up, that will surely come out during the process.

I am sorry you are hurt and angry, but do not blame the Church for your spouse’s actions.
 
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