Annulments, dating, and the Church

[I_am_learning]

Hello all.
If someone had an unjustifiable marriage, meaning, grounds for an annulment, is divorced, and this person is going to start the process soon, where does dating(/remarriage)come into play? I know God knows our hearts, and if a marriage was not even right and the person has the will to start the annulment, what can you say about dating? Because after some divorces, there may be someone who comes into your life, and if they are on fire for Christ (maybe not the Church), perhaps God sent them for a good reason. I believe I heard its better to wait until the process finishes, but I don’t know if that must apply to the above?
And also if they would be able to take Communion?

I just want to talk to this person well, not in a juding matter at all, instead just talk about the importance of keeping close to the teachings of the Church. I also would not want this person to go off to a Protestant church seeing as they may be more flexible with that.
I’ve heard the being alone and wanting to be happy, and that this person would be seeing someone from the church of the person (loves reading the Bible and a good person, but Protestant) that seems to have been sent by God for this person. I’m pretty sure they would be “comforting,” and say that they do not judge on that or something; but how do I explain the Church does not judge while making sure the message is sent?

How do I keep the faith of this person in the Church strong? (This person is a Catholic, who keeps close to the teachings and faith, but I want to keep it strong during these times, regardless if this person can date or not, and if the Protestant person rubs off on her faith wise or not)

Sorry if this is a little mixed, or confusing. My main troubles are how to talk to this person, and if they can date (keeping the above about this person in mind), and making sure they stay strong with the faith so they don’t think things in the Church are just rules people made up?

Help!!

 

[Xantippe]

Hello all.
If someone had an unjustifiable marriage, meaning, grounds for an annulment, is divorced, and this person is going to start the process soon, where does dating(/remarriage)come into play? I know God knows our hearts, and if a marriage was not even right and the person has the will to start the annulment, what can you say about dating? Because after some divorces, there may be someone who comes into your life, and if they are on fire for Christ (maybe not the Church), perhaps God sent them for a good reason. I believe I heard its better to wait until the process finishes, but I don’t know if that must apply to the above?
And also if they would be able to take Communion?

I just want to talk to this person well, not in a juding matter at all, instead just talk about the importance of keeping close to the teachings of the Church. I also would not want this person to go off to a Protestant church seeing as they may be more flexible with that.
I’ve heard the being alone and wanting to be happy, and that this person would be seeing someone from the church of the person (loves reading the Bible and a good person, but Protestant) that seems to have been sent by God for this person. I’m pretty sure they would be “comforting,” and say that they do not judge on that or something; but how do I explain the Church does not judge while making sure the message is sent?

How do I keep the faith of this person in the Church strong? (This person is a Catholic, who keeps close to the teachings and faith, but I want to keep it strong during these times, regardless if this person can date or not, and if the Protestant person rubs off on her faith wise or not)

Sorry if this is a little mixed, or confusing. My main troubles are how to talk to this person, and if they can date (keeping the above about this person in mind), and making sure they stay strong with the faith so they don’t think things in the Church are just rules people made up?

Help!!

It sounds like the train has already left the station, but maybe just ask a question?

“Suzie, Bob is a really great guy, and I know you’re very serious about him, but what happens if your annulment doesn’t come through?”

 

[Anglewannabe]

I just want to talk to this person well, not in a juding matter at all, instead just talk about the importance of keeping close to the teachings of the Church.** I **also would not want this person to go off to a Protestant church seeing as they may be more flexible with that.

I bold the ‘I’ because with all dues respect, it sounds like you are putting what YOU want above respecting this person’s free will. (I am assuming this is a friend, not a child)

As far as judging, the teachings of the Church are clear. It is a sin for a divorced person to date. Also, as a Catholic, we are to trust God and if it means waiting for the annulment to go through, God will give us the strength to bare it. If it means the annulment will never go through, God will give us the strength to do that as well.

If simply stating facts is going to make someone feel judged, that is THEIR issue. Or in other words, a trick the devil uses to stop us from speaking Gods truth.

If you have made it known to this person what the teachings of the church are, and you set a good example by being the best Catholic you can be, then… it is time to let go, imitate Jesus and respect this person’s free will

Angie

 

[I_am_learning]

Thank you guys.
I do not see the Annulment being unapproved, but no one knows, so of course I will try to make sure the message of the teaching is at least sent.

It is a loved one, and I respect everyones free will, however, I would not like for them to have their faith shaken, i’m not forcing them to do anything.

Thanks again and God bless!

 

[Anna_jane]

Also, bear in mind that what might seem like a sure-thing annulment to this person might not be in reality. There might be some wishful thinking going on, which is why it’s best to follow the Church in assuming the original couple was married unless and until the tribunal says otherwise.

 

[I_am_learning]

Right, I just don’t want to sound like its a law that we follow for no reason.

 

[styrgwillidar]

One of the most valuable things about the process is it forcing you to take your time to get your head together after a marriage breaks apart. To get you to contemplate your own role in things, to keep from making the same mistakes again. I had a friend whose mother had several boyfriends and husbands who all abused her. It always amazed me that she found guys like that, and that they found her.

That may be a more effective approach with your friend. The reality that after a long/serious relationship it is extremely beneficial to step back, work on yourself. To be comfortable re-establishing yourself as an individual person again as opposed to part of a relationship. Understand mistakes, lapses in judgment etc. prior to getting together with someone.

It was one of the most beneficial things for me. If not for the pause the annulment process forced-- I may have rushed into something prematurely. Hurt other folks using them as bandages for my wound vice healing first.