Annulments/support group

[ForeverJoy]

My paperwork is finally in the works. My Deacon said to be prepared for it to take at least a year, if it is declared null. I’m hoping and praying that it does only take that long because next Sept is my 20yr anniversary with my current husband, and we’d love to have our marriage blessed by the church at that time. hopefully!

 

[Convert1]

My paperwork is finally in the works. My Deacon said to be prepared for it to take at least a year, if it is declared null. I’m hoping and praying that it does only take that long because next Sept is my 20yr anniversary with my current husband, and we’d love to have our marriage blessed by the church at that time. hopefully!

Congratulations, ForeverJoy! I know it takes a great deal of courage to proceed with an annulment and the first phase of paperwork can be very complicated. Some formal annulments do take a year to a year and a half, (some even longer).

After reviewing this site and multiple discussions with my Canon Lawyer I have learned that the time frame really varies depending on the nature of the case, the Tribunal; the load of cases in front of yours, and if your respondent tries to argue the process. You can ask your Tribunal what they are averaging as far as cases similar to yours. One thing I do know, All cases are different and therefore; time frames may vary from case to case. I am praying for you and your husband!

 

[Nic1099]

I came home from grocery shopping and in the mailbox was my Decree of Nullity!

I cannot express the happiness and relief I feel. :dancing:

Absolutely delighted for you MJJean!!! Here’s wishing you all the very best for the future.

 

[Augustine]

What is a vetitum, or some such?

Christus resurrexit!

 

[Augustine]

I’ve been divorced for six weeks and separated for six months. It was the culmination of 4 years of much suffering.

After marriage retreats, like Marriage Encounter and Retrouvaille, professional and spiritual counseling, we reached the limits of our weakness. Already exhausted, mediation ended up being fruitless. In the last 18 months, a couple of lawyers got richer and we got homeless and penniless, so to say.

So, the worst is behind us. What lies ahead, only God knows. I spent half of my life married and now i have to adapt to single life, though I’m not single before the Church. I’m half way through filling in the questionnaire, but haven’t got all the documentation ready yet, but I was told that the annulment may take up to a couple of years.

I found great hope in what a priest told me: “Let us look forward with hope to the great things God will do with this, in His mercy.”

 

[MamaJewel]

I’ve been divorced for six weeks and separated for six months. It was the culmination of 4 years of much suffering.

After marriage retreats, like Marriage Encounter and Retrouvaille, professional and spiritual counseling, we reached the limits of our weakness. Already exhausted, mediation ended up being fruitless. In the last 18 months, a couple of lawyers got richer and we got homeless and penniless, so to say.

So, the worst is behind us. What lies ahead, only God knows. I spent half of my life married and now i have to adapt to single life, though I’m not single before the Church. I’m half way through filling in the questionnaire, but haven’t got all the documentation ready yet, but I was told that the annulment may take up to a couple of years.

I found great hope in what a priest told me: “Let us look forward with hope to the great things God will do with this, in His mercy.”

I don’t know what God has planned for you. I hope you have peace and clarity.

I can surely say that for me, the loss of my marriage and family has been more painful than all of my other lifetime losses combined.

I’m glad you shared the sage wisdom of your priest about looking forward with hope to what God will do with our sad situations. I really needed it.

 

[dans0622]

What is a vetitum, or some such?

Christus resurrexit!

Hello,

It is a “prohibition” which is supposed to prevent a person from marrying in the Church. It is imposed after a nullity process which has discovered that the person had some sort of constitutional incapacity to marry (let’s say the man was addicted to alcohol and so was unable to marry) or had a gravely deficient intention when attempting the prior marriage (let’s say the woman excluded children from the prior union).

The person would have the *vetitum *removed if/when he showed that he was no longer in the throes of addiction or she was now aware of the requirement of being “open to children” and was now accepting that essential aspect of marriage.

Dan

 

[Convert1]

I’ve been divorced for six weeks and separated for six months. It was the culmination of 4 years of much suffering.

After marriage retreats, like Marriage Encounter and Retrouvaille, professional and spiritual counseling, we reached the limits of our weakness. Already exhausted, mediation ended up being fruitless. In the last 18 months, a couple of lawyers got richer and we got homeless and penniless, so to say.

So, the worst is behind us. What lies ahead, only God knows. I spent half of my life married and now i have to adapt to single life, though I’m not single before the Church. I’m half way through filling in the questionnaire, but haven’t got all the documentation ready yet, but I was told that the annulment may take up to a couple of years.

I found great hope in what a priest told me: “Let us look forward with hope to the great things God will do with this, in His mercy.”

I am praying for you. My divorce was painful; but ended 15 years of abuse from my ex-spouse that took a tremendous toll on me and my children. Being single was actually a relief for me. Like you, I spent a large amount of my adult life married, so I struggled with the transition. I met a wonderful man (cradle Catholic) a few years ago and decided to convert from being a Protestant to Catholicism. Obtaining an annulment, and having our wedding blessed in the church, was required for my confirmation into the Church. Also, similar to you, I have an amazing priest and he has been so supportive during this process. My annulment is awaiting “First Decision” and it took approximately eight months for that to happen. It will have to go to another diocese for final decision; which will be another three or four months, so a year to a year and a half seems to be the average. I have read some folks waiting over two years. Your Tribunal will probably have an average time to give you. God bless you during this time! :grouphug:
This forum has been very beneficial to me, I would definitely keep communicating here while you go through your journey.

 

[Convert1]

Hello,

It is a “prohibition” which is supposed to prevent a person from marrying in the Church. It is imposed after a nullity process which has discovered that the person had some sort of constitutional incapacity to marry (let’s say the man was addicted to alcohol and so was unable to marry) or had a gravely deficient intention when attempting the prior marriage (let’s say the woman excluded children from the prior union).

The person would have the *vetitum *removed if/when he showed that he was no longer in the throes of addiction or she was now aware of the requirement of being “open to children” and was now accepting that essential aspect of marriage.

Dan

Who decides or what is the process to have the “vetitum” removed? How long does it take?

 

[kwillson]

Thinking no one noticed the question I asked, so I’m reposting:
Has anyone ever NOT gotten a letter from the second instance court letting you know they’ve received your paperwork? (Mine was mailed from Archdiocese of Cincinnati to Washington D.C. on April 9 and it’s been 16 days. I thought I’d hear from them by now that they rec’d it, but no word yet.) Asked my priest about it and he said, “Don’t worry about it. I’m pretty sure you’re going to get it.”
UGH.

 

[dans0622]

Who decides or what is the process to have the “vetitum” removed? How long does it take?

Hello,

Usually, it is the Judge (or Judges) who decides whether or not to impose a vetitum and so he is the one who decides what needs to be done in order to have it removed. How long does it take? It might not take any additional time or it might take a while. It all depends. For example, it seems like the poster “MJJean” has already done what she needs to do in order to have it removed. Other people might have to go through additional counseling or some sort of classes to try to eliminate the cause of invalidity of the prior union.

Dan

 

[dans0622]

Thinking no one noticed the question I asked, so I’m reposting:
Has anyone ever NOT gotten a letter from the second instance court letting you know they’ve received your paperwork? (Mine was mailed from Archdiocese of Cincinnati to Washington D.C. on April 9 and it’s been 16 days. I thought I’d hear from them by now that they rec’d it, but no word yet.) Asked my priest about it and he said, “Don’t worry about it. I’m pretty sure you’re going to get it.”
UGH.

Hello,

I don’t know anything about how the Washington D.C. appeal court operates so I think the best answer I can give is that you should call them and see what’s going on, make sure they have the case, make sure you know what they are expecting of you, etc.

Dan

 

[Convert1]

Hello,

Usually, it is the Judge (or Judges) who decides whether or not to impose a vetitum and so he is the one who decides what needs to be done in order to have it removed. How long does it take? It might not take any additional time or it might take a while. It all depends. For example, it seems like the poster “MJJean” has already done what she needs to do in order to have it removed. Other people might have to go through additional counseling or some sort of classes to try to eliminate the cause of invalidity of the prior union.

Dan

Got it. Thanks Dan! As always, you’re the man.

 

[MJJean]

Congratulations, MJJean! That’s great news. Good for you!

I read the “Publication of the Acts”. No real news in any of the statements that I didn’t already know. My case is going to First Decision. Fingers crossed.

Thank you so much! I pray your case will be handled swiftly and justly!

My paperwork is finally in the works. My Deacon said to be prepared for it to take at least a year, if it is declared null. I’m hoping and praying that it does only take that long because next Sept is my 20yr anniversary with my current husband, and we’d love to have our marriage blessed by the church at that time. hopefully!

My anniversary is Dec 9. I filed my papers the first week of July 2013. I was hoping the Decree would be complete by Dec 9 2015 so that we could convalidate on our civil anniversary. I was disappointed. After that, I decided to just let it go and let God handle it in His time.

I was told 18 months average and my case took 21 months, so not too terribly far off the estimate. Sure seemed like it took forever on some days, though!

Absolutely delighted for you MJJean!!! Here’s wishing you all the very best for the future.

Thank you, Nic!

Thinking no one noticed the question I asked, so I’m reposting:
Has anyone ever NOT gotten a letter from the second instance court letting you know they’ve received your paperwork? (Mine was mailed from Archdiocese of Cincinnati to Washington D.C. on April 9 and it’s been 16 days. I thought I’d hear from them by now that they rec’d it, but no word yet.) Asked my priest about it and he said, “Don’t worry about it. I’m pretty sure you’re going to get it.”
UGH.

It took a few weeks for me to get the letter that the Court of Second Instance received my case. If you don’t hear within 2-4 weeks from now I would call the Tribunal there and ask.

 

[Convert1]

A monitum is a warning of some type. You’ll have to ask your priest probably to find out what the specifics are.

Has anyone ever NOT gotten a letter from the second instance court letting you know they’ve received your paperwork? Mine was mailed from Archdiocese of Cincinnati to Washington D.C. on April 9 and it’s been 13 days. I thought I’d hear from them by now that they rec’d it, but no word yet.

If you don’t mind me asking, how long did it take for you to receive your First Decision following the Publication of the Acts?

 

[kwillson]

MJJean,
Thanks for your reply. I’ll do as you advise and be patient (some more. UGH). I’m so worried about the AWFUL possibility that Cincinnati mailed my case to D.C. and it MAYBE got lost in the mail. Or MAYBE aliens stole it. Or…the earth opened up in Philadelphia and swallowed it… (Stress over stupid stuff much? NAHHHH! LOL)
When you got your letter, how long after that did you get your decision? (I know it’s not the same for everyone, but a ballpark estimate would be GREAT!)
Thanks.
Kathrine

 

[Augustine]

What if a priest decides to ignore the vetitum and marry a couple without any processual step with the tribunal that imposed it?

Christus resurrexit!

 

[dans0622]

What if a priest decides to ignore the vetitum and marry a couple without any processual step with the tribunal that imposed it? …

Hello,

All other essential things being in order, the marriage would be presumed valid.

Dan

 

[MJJean]

If you don’t mind me asking, how long did it take for you to receive your First Decision following the Publication of the Acts?

For me, it was nearly a year. The letter informing me of the Publication of the Acts is dated February 10, 2014. The letter informing me of the Court of First Instance decision is dated January 26, 2015.

MJJean,
Thanks for your reply. I’ll do as you advise and be patient (some more. UGH). I’m so worried about the AWFUL possibility that Cincinnati mailed my case to D.C. and it MAYBE got lost in the mail. Or MAYBE aliens stole it. Or…the earth opened up in Philadelphia and swallowed it… (Stress over stupid stuff much? NAHHHH! LOL)
When you got your letter, how long after that did you get your decision? (I know it’s not the same for everyone, but a ballpark estimate would be GREAT!)
Thanks.
Kathrine

I know it’s hard to be patient. It seemed almost like God wouldn’t allow the annulment until I learned patience, obedience, and submission. None of which are my strong suits.

I was worried that something would go wrong, too. I had visions of my case being lost in the mail, accidentally lost or thrown in recycling at the Tribunal office, misplaced, taken home to be read and eaten by someone’s dog, coffee spilled on it, etc.

My timeline:

July 2013 - Submitted case to Tribunal

September 18, 2013- Received notice my case had been accepted. Filled out 2 additional questionnaires and signed the Petition. Mailed Petition and questionnaires back to the Tribunal the same day.

November 6, 2013- Received a letter informing me my case was at a standstill due to 3 of my 5 Witnesses failing to respond. Called the Witnesses and then the Tribunal. 1 of them replied that week and was kind enough to drop off her questionnaire in person at the Tribunal office, the other 2 were removed as Witnesses. As I had a total of 3 Witnesses respond there was sufficient evidence. My case was then allowed to proceed.

February 10, 2014- Publication of the Acts letter

January 26, 2015- First Instance Decision

March 3, 2015- Case received by the Court of Second Instance

April 13, 2015- Received Decree of Nullity

My ex civil husband did respond to his original notification within the allotted time. His response was that he was not Christian and did not wish to participate in the process.

The final decision by the Court of Second Instance was actually made March 23, but had to be sent back to First Instance and then on to me.

 

[Convert1]

For me, it was nearly a year. The letter informing me of the Publication of the Acts is dated February 10, 2014. The letter informing me of the Court of First Instance decision is dated January 26, 2015.

Wow. A year? I read all your posts. Do you think the turn over in staff and the office moving had something to do with the delay? Is this the average?