Annulments/support group

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Guineviere said:
6 months since I posted an update here.

The case is complete and has been in the que waiting for the first judgement for 6 months. The case was accepted 15 months ago. The published “average” wait time is 10-12 months.

It’s so discouraging…I just want to move on with my life.
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I completely understand and share your frustration. My case was accepted 14 months ago. The case was “closed for judgment” in April 2015. The Tribunal’s published time is 6-12 months on their website. I have been told verbally that everything is complete they are just waiting for the magical date of December 8th to send out all final decisions.

There’s not a single day that goes by that I don’t think about it. I am here for you, Guineviere.
God Bless you.
 
Thank you for the kind words and encouragement. My declaration of annulment was complete several years ago…it is my significant other that is waiting on his. I can only hope they are holding out until December 8th to send out the judgements. We may call to ask for confirmation. Last time we called they said no official guidance/verification had come from Rome regarding the December 8th change.
 
What should the relationship be like between us while we are completing the process to seek a decree of nullity? We have separate living arrangements and are maintaining complete continence, purely by an abundance of grace thanks be to God. My wife is struggling with the paperwork, going on 18 months now. I can support her in her struggle, but am struggling myself with how best to act towards her. Any recommendations on how a relationship should be structured diring the process while still avoiding near occasions of sin?
 
Have you filed for a divorce? My understanding is that the legal aspects have to have been completed before an annulment can be considered. If it is not possible for you to live separately and you do not consider your marriage to be valid then living as brother and sister is advised. It sounds as though you are really struggling with this, it might help you to speak to a priest perhaps in confession or to another spiritual adviser.
 
Sorry, I should have given more context. We are currently married civilly. This is the second marriage for both of us. I came back to the church after 39 years and my wife came into the church last easter (yeah!). This is the second marriage for both of us and we are seeking decrees of nullity regarding the first mairrages. Mine is in process but she is struggling wirh the paperwork. I am very much in love with this woman and want her to continue receiving rhe sacrements. Hence our separate living arrangements until the anullment process is complete. I am incredibly attracted to her as well and the abundance of God’s grace helps me avoid near occasions if sin. I hurt for her and desire to show her an appropriate level of affection without crossing a line into sin. I especially do not want to draw her into any sin. I just do not know how best to emotionally support her. I know she desires affection, and misses it, but I do not know what affection looks like as if we were just friends. That is my own struggle as I find it difficult to have friends. Perhaps the best context is to think of me as a selfish social moron who does not want to be that way and I need a kids level guide or framework to get me out of myself. I am hoping there is a book or program somewhere. Spiritual guidance is hard to find. I am looking for a spiritual director, but have not found one yet.
 
binari2 said:
Sorry, I should have given more context. We are currently married civilly. This is the second marriage for both of us. I came back to the church after 39 years and my wife came into the church last easter (yeah!). This is the second marriage for both of us and we are seeking decrees of nullity regarding the first mairrages. Mine is in process but she is struggling wirh the paperwork. I am very much in love with this woman and want her to continue receiving rhe sacrements. Hence our separate living arrangements until the anullment process is complete. I am incredibly attracted to her as well and the abundance of God’s grace helps me avoid near occasions if sin. I hurt for her and desire to show her an appropriate level of affection without crossing a line into sin. I especially do not want to draw her into any sin. I just do not know how best to emotionally support her. I know she desires affection, and misses it, but I do not know what affection looks like as if we were just friends. That is my own struggle as I find it difficult to have friends. Perhaps the best context is to think of me as a selfish social moron who does not want to be that way and I need a kids level guide or framework to get me out of myself. I am hoping there is a book or program somewhere. Spiritual guidance is hard to find. I am looking for a spiritual director, but have not found one yet.
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Was your wife a Protestant before…my wife is Protestant and has been through RCIA last year and is still waiting for her annulment…we’ve been told that until her annulment is granted she cannot become a Catholic…both of us have been celibate all this time…I apologize if I’m reading your post wrong…if it is true how is that possible from what we have been told…God bless
 
binari2 said:
That was a huge concern for my wife coming into the church. We expressed our committment to live in complete continence. Our parish priest did some checking and said she was ok to proceed.

See vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_14091994_rec-holy-comm-by-divorced_en.html
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Thanks for that info…we never knew that although we have been celibate the whole time waiting for my wifes annulment…from what we understand from her advocate he has said he expects her annulment will be granted…and soon…so I guess we may as well wait until she get confirmed…and have our marriage convalidation ceremony in the church…
 
Peebo said:
Thanks for that info…we never knew that although we have been celibate the whole time waiting for my wifes annulment…from what we understand from her advocate he has said he expects her annulment will be granted…and soon…so I guess we may as well wait until she get confirmed…and have our marriage convalidation ceremony in the church…
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Why wait? Why avoid the abundace of grace? My thought, once I was not looking at myself, was there is nothing more important than her to be able to receive the sacrements as soon as possible. We have had to be clear with many people im the parish regarding our status and have given our priests permission to communicate to others as needed so as not to cause scandal. I am amazed at the abundance of grace we receive even with my concerns.
 
. My husband just underwent surgery last Tuesday to remove a rather large tumor, (squamous cell cancer) from above his eye. When I use the term large, his incision line was about three-four inches long. He is undergoing other tests, but we are hopeful this was the primary site and their are no others.

His annulment has long been final, and mine continues to drag on. It has been in the final judgment phase for over nine months. (16 months total) I feel absolutely horrible that, as a cradle Catholic, he is being denied returning to communion because of me. Especially, as a time in his ;life when he needs it most. It is just heart-breaking.

I have so cherished the support from this forum. Thanks, especially to Dan, for your
insight and objectivity. All I humbly ask, is that you please pray for us during this extremely difficult time.

God Bless You all.
 
I understand how you feel as my husband is waiting to be baptised - we hope. He is in quite good health though so I recognise how much more difficult it must be in your circumstances. I hope now we are past 8 December things will speed up a little.
I will pray for you both.
God bless
Rose
 
Thank you, Rose. Merry Christmas to you and your family. I will pray for you and your husband as well.
 
Ratification/confirmation of sentence in the affirmative for nullity is a great way to go into the new year. Praise God!!! :signofcross: Prayers, Mass, more prayers and 19 months.
 
Steve_P said:
Ratification/confirmation of sentence in the affirmative for nullity is a great way to go into the new year. Praise God!!! :signofcross: Prayers, Mass, more prayers and 19 months.
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God Bless you!!! Congratulations! That is awesome for you!
Could I ask which diocese you used, as I see you listed Alabama as a location.
 
Convert1 said:
God Bless you!!! Congratulations! That is awesome for you!
Could I ask which diocese you used, as I see you listed Alabama as a location.
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Thank you very much Convert1. One more step closer to reuniting with our Lord in the Eucharist.

I live in the Diocese of Birmingham and ratification occurred at the Archdiocese of Mobile.
 
My case is in the Mobile diocese right now. Could you send me a private message so I could ask you a few questions? I would so greatly appreciate it! God Bless!
 
Steve_P said:
Ratification/confirmation of sentence in the affirmative for nullity is a great way to go into the new year. Praise God!!! :signofcross: Prayers, Mass, more prayers and 19 months.
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Congrats …my wife received her letter yesterday in the affirmative also…she has until Jan 21 if she wishes to reply or to ask any questions…(naturally she doesn’t…she’s happy)…does anyone know how long after that before the annulment is final…been a 16 month process for her…would be great if she could be confirmed at the Easter vigil…she went through RCIA 2014.
 
Congratulations to your wife and you, Peebo!!! That is wonderful news!

I thought if the decision was dated after December 8th, you did not need a second judgment. Maybe Dan can chime in. Even still, I have followed your case on this thread, and I know it has been a tough road. God Bless You both!!!

👍👍
 
Convert1 said:
Congratulations to your wife and you, Peebo!!! That is wonderful news!

I thought if the decision was dated after December 8th, you did not need a second judgment. Maybe Dan can chime in. Even still, I have followed your case on this thread, and I know it has been a tough road. God Bless You both!!!

👍👍
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Thank you…I believe there is no other judgement…she called the diocese about 3 weeks ago asking about her case…she was told then that it was on the judges desk for his decision…that was the letter she received yesterday that her case has been decided in the affirmative…she has until around the end of this month if she wishes to review the sentence…I’m wondering how long after that before she officially receives her degree of nullity…I’m hoping she will be able to be received into the church this Easter…it’s a beautiful ceremony…I was confirmed at Easter 24 Years ago…I hope your case will be granted in the affirmative…and soon…I’ll pray a rosary for you…God Bless
 
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