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jimmy
Guest
Yeh, I hit 3500 posts. Thankyou all, I would like to thank all those who have disagreed with me throughout my Catholic Answers career; I could not have done it without you.
- Status
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Aesq
Guest
I am not sure how much abuse there is in the process.
In my opinion (this is only my opinion) there are more annulments petitioned for and granted in the US for a good reason. I believe that the reason is that we have a lot more people converting to Catholicism here than in other countries and they are petitioning because they are divorced and re-married prior to their conversion. I know that this may seem odd in some parts of the country as the Church has a large base in some areas. However, there are large portions of the country where there may be literally hundreds of churchs in a town and only one or maybe two are Catholic. In these areas the Church relies a lot on conversion for growth and often the people converting are coming from a faith history which did not preclude divorce and re-marriage.
In many other countries the Catholic Church either has little to no presence or is the primary presence. This makes for a totally different dynamic. The US is somewhat different in this regard.
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ElizabethJoy
Guest
I’m a new convert. My past includes a previous marriage and I will have to petition for an annulment of that first marriage in order to regularize my current marriage of the last 24 years.
As I understand it, I am not able to come into full communion with the Church until I do so.
I’m not proud of having married more than once, because it means that I used very poor judgement, (just like all the rest of my sins and shortcomings) but in my non-Christian life, divorce was a spiritually and morally and socially sound option.
I will do what the Church requires of me with regard to the first marriage. And if an annulment is granted, it will be one of the happiest occasions of my life, because I will finally be allowed to come into the Church and have my current marriage blessed within the Church. Celebrate? Oh my heavens, of course I will celebrate! Not that I was ignorant and errant enough to have chosen unwisely - who celebrates that? But that I can finally be in full communion with the Church!
And if it is not granted, I will be at mass and at Adoration and I continue my prayer life and I will be faithful to the Church and the Holy Father and I will do my best to learn to suffer patiently the fact that I am rejected by the bureacracy of Christ’s own Church.
Either way, I’m certain that it will be HIS will, not mine.
Elizabeth
As I understand it, I am not able to come into full communion with the Church until I do so.
I’m not proud of having married more than once, because it means that I used very poor judgement, (just like all the rest of my sins and shortcomings) but in my non-Christian life, divorce was a spiritually and morally and socially sound option.
I will do what the Church requires of me with regard to the first marriage. And if an annulment is granted, it will be one of the happiest occasions of my life, because I will finally be allowed to come into the Church and have my current marriage blessed within the Church. Celebrate? Oh my heavens, of course I will celebrate! Not that I was ignorant and errant enough to have chosen unwisely - who celebrates that? But that I can finally be in full communion with the Church!
And if it is not granted, I will be at mass and at Adoration and I continue my prayer life and I will be faithful to the Church and the Holy Father and I will do my best to learn to suffer patiently the fact that I am rejected by the bureacracy of Christ’s own Church.
Either way, I’m certain that it will be HIS will, not mine.
Elizabeth
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Aesq
Guest
You are not rejected whatever the result of your petition. I know that it will be hard not to feel that way. There are many who understand how you feel. Many. I for one understand that you are likely feeling rejected even now, when you do not yet know the result. You are not rejected though. I for one will be praying for you. No matter the result. Many will pray for you and embrace you.
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AlanFromWichita
Guest
People who consider mental illness a reason to separate, listen to this.
Some psychiatrists in recent years have farmed out weekly meetings with patients to licensed social workers. They meet with the doc once per week, and the doc provides direction or meets personally with the patient as necessary.
Anyway, one such psychiatrist, who otherwise was an excellent psychiatrist, had a new LCSW Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and we had a meeting with her. My wife was the patient; I was support.
Anyway this woman, this horrible woman with a license to kill marital bonds, met with my wife alone for about 40 minutes, then me for about 15.
Afterwards, on the way home, I found out what they failed to tell me in those 15 minutes; Julie didn’t because she was confused and was honoring a silence order from the b*tch – I mean Anna Mae of Anna May or whatever.
Sometime within the first half hour of knowing Julie in her whole life, she diagnosed that her problem was one that I was either creating or making worse, and it was best for her own good – even though painful – to get away from me.
You see, this woman herself was recently divorced and was pretty pleased with it, and she obviously was bringing her bias into the picture.
I fumed that I had paid $80 for some licensed idiot to tell my wife to divorce me. One lesson to all: if you ever see a therapist, establish early on what you are there for and what the ground rules are – such as divorce is not an option. What was worse, was when my wife was relaying this story to a supposed “friend,” that friend thought the professional usually knows best and offered to hide my wife if she wanted to disappear. Thanks, worldly counselor. Who has the record, Dr. Tiller for abortions, or you for broken marriages? Wichita – Bible belt indeed!
Another lesson to all: if you tell someone to go get counseling, suggest Catholic Charities or some other Catholic group, or at least be wary of pseudo-professionals with licenses but no brains who may go in and make the situation worse.
They got rid of her and she moved her practiced to somewhere up northeast – Maine, I think.
Alan
Some psychiatrists in recent years have farmed out weekly meetings with patients to licensed social workers. They meet with the doc once per week, and the doc provides direction or meets personally with the patient as necessary.
Anyway, one such psychiatrist, who otherwise was an excellent psychiatrist, had a new LCSW Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and we had a meeting with her. My wife was the patient; I was support.
Anyway this woman, this horrible woman with a license to kill marital bonds, met with my wife alone for about 40 minutes, then me for about 15.
Afterwards, on the way home, I found out what they failed to tell me in those 15 minutes; Julie didn’t because she was confused and was honoring a silence order from the b*tch – I mean Anna Mae of Anna May or whatever.
Sometime within the first half hour of knowing Julie in her whole life, she diagnosed that her problem was one that I was either creating or making worse, and it was best for her own good – even though painful – to get away from me.
You see, this woman herself was recently divorced and was pretty pleased with it, and she obviously was bringing her bias into the picture.
I fumed that I had paid $80 for some licensed idiot to tell my wife to divorce me. One lesson to all: if you ever see a therapist, establish early on what you are there for and what the ground rules are – such as divorce is not an option. What was worse, was when my wife was relaying this story to a supposed “friend,” that friend thought the professional usually knows best and offered to hide my wife if she wanted to disappear. Thanks, worldly counselor. Who has the record, Dr. Tiller for abortions, or you for broken marriages? Wichita – Bible belt indeed!
Another lesson to all: if you tell someone to go get counseling, suggest Catholic Charities or some other Catholic group, or at least be wary of pseudo-professionals with licenses but no brains who may go in and make the situation worse.
They got rid of her and she moved her practiced to somewhere up northeast – Maine, I think.
Alan
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ElizabethJoy
Guest
Thank you so much for this. I read it earlier and it touched me and made me think for a while.
You are right, I was feeling rejected and it stung. Thank you for taking the sting out.
I’m looking forward to getting settled into a parish and starting the process. If it doesn’t turn out the way I hope, I will deal with it in the best way that I can and your prayers are most appreciated.
God bless you,
Elizabeth
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Aesq
Guest
If what I said was helpful, I am glad. I understand where you are coming from. I am glad that I could be helpful. I know that it seems worse sometimes because it appears that no one understands, but there are many who understand and care.
Yours in Christ
Adam
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otm
Guest
DVIN CKS:
You profess to know the grounds on which she is seeking her annulment, but I would suggest that you have not walked in her shoes and have not lived her life.
There periodically is some post somewhere that the “Vatican is going to crack down”. The presumption that there are too many annulments is based on a presumption that there was excellent catechesis from the time the applicants were children; and that presumption flies in the face of reality.
Although the great majority of annulments are granted, not all are. But what is of even more significance is the hugh number of people that never apply for an annulment; they simply leave, or drift off from, the Church.
Unless you know that the grounds under which she is applying are “flimsy” in light of Canon Law or you have actually helped her to prepare her petition, you might try to be a little less judgemental.
You show almost no understanding of either annulments or the Sacrament of Marriage, and even less charity.
You profess to know the grounds on which she is seeking her annulment, but I would suggest that you have not walked in her shoes and have not lived her life.
There periodically is some post somewhere that the “Vatican is going to crack down”. The presumption that there are too many annulments is based on a presumption that there was excellent catechesis from the time the applicants were children; and that presumption flies in the face of reality.
Although the great majority of annulments are granted, not all are. But what is of even more significance is the hugh number of people that never apply for an annulment; they simply leave, or drift off from, the Church.
Unless you know that the grounds under which she is applying are “flimsy” in light of Canon Law or you have actually helped her to prepare her petition, you might try to be a little less judgemental.
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Brigid
Guest
I have my experience with marriage, divorce and annulment. I was married 23 years to a man I found out was gay at 8 years of marriage. He said he was going to behave and did for a while. Then, he stopped, began a double life which I ignored for 10 years until he confronted me with his lies and made me “ask the question” I didn’t want to ask. Within a week I had filed for a divorce which came one year later. It has been three years now. My annulment is almost through the appeal tribunal in the next diocese over to mine, but essentially I have one.
Obviously, marriage to a gay man who did not inform me of his orientation prior to marriage is grounds for annulment. And I petitioned for one. But, I still feel that marriage is for life, that this man is the only one I should consider to be a “husband” even though he wasn’t a very good one. We have three children. For their sake, I think I will remain single. They deserve the least amount of disruption to their family as possible and for me to find a new husband and introduce all the reconfiguration that that would entail into their lives, I don’t think it is worth it.
Of course, at 58, it is most likely that there isn’t anyone else interested in marrying me anyway. But I still come back to this view that my children deserve better than the stress and strain of another family member to deal with.
I don’t know if you understand what I’m saying. There is a lack of confidence involved with figuring out who you are after any divorce but after a divorce from someone who doesn’t appreciate your basic femininity, there is a whole lot more. If healing is what I need and God does have someone else for me and my children to love, I’m willing to consider it but I’m not counting on it, looking for it or hoping for it.
I got the annulmnet because it made me feel that I had not wasted those years of putting my children first and staying with a man who was emotionally abusive and difficult to live with. They have told me they are glad and I am glad, too, because I have seen that divorce just replaces one set of problems with another set. I spared my children the trauma of visitation and absent father issues when they were too small to handle it. My youngest was 15 when we split it and he was the one to suffer the most. The older two were more pragmatic and wise and could see that I had done all I could do. I wanted the Church’s confirmation of that and I think I have it with an annulment.
Thanks for reading. I don’t think many people understand my point of view. But there it is.
Obviously, marriage to a gay man who did not inform me of his orientation prior to marriage is grounds for annulment. And I petitioned for one. But, I still feel that marriage is for life, that this man is the only one I should consider to be a “husband” even though he wasn’t a very good one. We have three children. For their sake, I think I will remain single. They deserve the least amount of disruption to their family as possible and for me to find a new husband and introduce all the reconfiguration that that would entail into their lives, I don’t think it is worth it.
Of course, at 58, it is most likely that there isn’t anyone else interested in marrying me anyway. But I still come back to this view that my children deserve better than the stress and strain of another family member to deal with.
I don’t know if you understand what I’m saying. There is a lack of confidence involved with figuring out who you are after any divorce but after a divorce from someone who doesn’t appreciate your basic femininity, there is a whole lot more. If healing is what I need and God does have someone else for me and my children to love, I’m willing to consider it but I’m not counting on it, looking for it or hoping for it.
I got the annulmnet because it made me feel that I had not wasted those years of putting my children first and staying with a man who was emotionally abusive and difficult to live with. They have told me they are glad and I am glad, too, because I have seen that divorce just replaces one set of problems with another set. I spared my children the trauma of visitation and absent father issues when they were too small to handle it. My youngest was 15 when we split it and he was the one to suffer the most. The older two were more pragmatic and wise and could see that I had done all I could do. I wanted the Church’s confirmation of that and I think I have it with an annulment.
Thanks for reading. I don’t think many people understand my point of view. But there it is.
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jimmy
Guest
I understand your point of view. That would be a tough situation to live in. I find it very admirable that you take it like you do.
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Psalm_37_4-5
Guest
Brigid, thank you for sharing what you wrote. I am sorry to hear about what all you went through… I posted part of my situation in a couple of other posts, but one thing I did omit is that there was a consideration that my spouse had/has homosexual tendencies. Like your husband, mine did not have any desire for me the way a husband should have for a wife… after 6 years he admitted to feeling a quote “switch” on our honeymoon… I could tell something wasn’t right on our honeymoon myself. During our marriage I asked him if he was gay and he denied it. It wasn’t just the lack of marital relations, there were other indications. But I don’t believe he ever acted on those tendencies, if they truly were there.
He dealt with depression and was considered bi-polar for a while as a teen and later blamed the medication for how he was and said he had been “self-diagnosed”… on top of all of that, he had some quite controlling parents… in the end, I honestly can’t say exactly what was/is “wrong” with him, but when we were going through the divorce, as private as I tried to keep everything and wanting to avoid explaining the details, I can’t tell you how many people asked me if he was gay.
I wrote with all honesty everything I experienced in our marriage and prior in the annulment paperwork. I didn’t know at the time I wrote everything, what exactly they make their decisions on, but if you consider being married to someone who wasn’t attracted to women, and knew something wasn’t right even prior to the wedding (he told me later that he had doubts before we were married), that certainly is grounds for annulment. In my case there were other things that I believe were taken into account as well…
And you’re right about having to deal with a lot of things after the divorce/annulment… it’s not like everything gets all better
I’ve heard it say a divorce/annulment is like a death - you do go thru a lot of those same stages that many people do after a death. But with a divorce, it can leave scars because almost always it happens because it has been damaging in some way to the people involved… often times, they are emotional scars.
I had a really hard day today, mainly due to this thread No offense to the posters - it’s just the subject is very important. I really felt I needed to say some things here, however, I started doubting the legitimacy of my annulment so much so that I sought out some good sources near me to ask what to do. I think I still need to talk with someone but I will paste in here what one very good, orthodox priest wrote me today in response to my quest - maybe it will help someone else too:
J____ (me),
Trust the Church in its discernment process when it comes to annulments. Even though you may have doubts, their investigation into all the aspects from an objective view places them in a position to make such judgments. Guard your thoughts concerning this and give them to the Lord as quickly as they arise.
Fr. ______
Peace and God bless you all. Brigid, thank you again for opening your heart and sharing.
He dealt with depression and was considered bi-polar for a while as a teen and later blamed the medication for how he was and said he had been “self-diagnosed”… on top of all of that, he had some quite controlling parents… in the end, I honestly can’t say exactly what was/is “wrong” with him, but when we were going through the divorce, as private as I tried to keep everything and wanting to avoid explaining the details, I can’t tell you how many people asked me if he was gay.
I wrote with all honesty everything I experienced in our marriage and prior in the annulment paperwork. I didn’t know at the time I wrote everything, what exactly they make their decisions on, but if you consider being married to someone who wasn’t attracted to women, and knew something wasn’t right even prior to the wedding (he told me later that he had doubts before we were married), that certainly is grounds for annulment. In my case there were other things that I believe were taken into account as well…
And you’re right about having to deal with a lot of things after the divorce/annulment… it’s not like everything gets all better
I’ve heard it say a divorce/annulment is like a death - you do go thru a lot of those same stages that many people do after a death. But with a divorce, it can leave scars because almost always it happens because it has been damaging in some way to the people involved… often times, they are emotional scars.I had a really hard day today, mainly due to this thread
No offense to the posters - it’s just the subject is very important. I really felt I needed to say some things here, however, I started doubting the legitimacy of my annulment so much so that I sought out some good sources near me to ask what to do. I think I still need to talk with someone but I will paste in here what one very good, orthodox priest wrote me today in response to my quest - maybe it will help someone else too:J____ (me),
Trust the Church in its discernment process when it comes to annulments. Even though you may have doubts, their investigation into all the aspects from an objective view places them in a position to make such judgments. Guard your thoughts concerning this and give them to the Lord as quickly as they arise.
Fr. ______
Peace and God bless you all. Brigid, thank you again for opening your heart and sharing.
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LittleDeb
Guest
I am so touched by these stories. Divorce and annulment are both so heart-wrenching. I helped my now-husband (a convert) fill out his paperwork. We still have the one I taped back together so we could read it after he tore it up.
I think the crux for me is what some people here have said. It is not the annulments that are granted too easily. It is the marriage. There are 3 statuses a marriage can fall under. Some marriages are one or two or all three.
A marriage can be Legal (under civil law)
It can be Valid (under Church law)
and it can be Sacramental (both parties baptized.)
There are so many annulments granted in the US because so many people are entering invalid marriages. We here in America seem to believe we have the right to marry rather than the responsibility to enter into valid marriage. The civil definition of the word marriage is permeating Catholic minds. I know it did into mine for years.
Re-marriage does not exist any more than re-baptism exists.
Conditional baptism says, “if you were not baptized before I now baptize you…”
We look at my husband’s former marriage as sort of conditional too. Civil marriage (even one that took place in a Catholic Church) is conditional. Valid marriage is unconditional.
We also look at his former marriage as “building a house on land that you thought you owned, but in fact do not” When you discover you do not own the land you have to make choices. You either buy the land, move the house, someone tears it down, or someone else moves in and kicks you out.
My husband couldn’t buy the land or move the house without her consent. She kicked him out, moved someone in and then tore it down.
Since she entered marriage with the idea of “till divorce do you part.” among other horrible behaviors an annulment was granted. My husband had to undergo Catholic counseling before he married me to make sure he didn’t miss those red flags again. (Also part of the decree of nullity)
He is thankful that we had to jump through so many hoops to get married because we were really prepared. Our moment of consent was real.
I fully agree, “Trust the Church.” The diocese do have a cross-checking process and any decision can be apealed. A bad tribunal can be held accountable for granting annulments too easily and for not granting when they should. Some examinations of nullity do go all the way to Rome.
I think the crux for me is what some people here have said. It is not the annulments that are granted too easily. It is the marriage. There are 3 statuses a marriage can fall under. Some marriages are one or two or all three.
A marriage can be Legal (under civil law)
It can be Valid (under Church law)
and it can be Sacramental (both parties baptized.)
There are so many annulments granted in the US because so many people are entering invalid marriages. We here in America seem to believe we have the right to marry rather than the responsibility to enter into valid marriage. The civil definition of the word marriage is permeating Catholic minds. I know it did into mine for years.
Re-marriage does not exist any more than re-baptism exists.
Conditional baptism says, “if you were not baptized before I now baptize you…”
We look at my husband’s former marriage as sort of conditional too. Civil marriage (even one that took place in a Catholic Church) is conditional. Valid marriage is unconditional.
We also look at his former marriage as “building a house on land that you thought you owned, but in fact do not” When you discover you do not own the land you have to make choices. You either buy the land, move the house, someone tears it down, or someone else moves in and kicks you out.
My husband couldn’t buy the land or move the house without her consent. She kicked him out, moved someone in and then tore it down.
Since she entered marriage with the idea of “till divorce do you part.” among other horrible behaviors an annulment was granted. My husband had to undergo Catholic counseling before he married me to make sure he didn’t miss those red flags again. (Also part of the decree of nullity)
He is thankful that we had to jump through so many hoops to get married because we were really prepared. Our moment of consent was real.
I fully agree, “Trust the Church.” The diocese do have a cross-checking process and any decision can be apealed. A bad tribunal can be held accountable for granting annulments too easily and for not granting when they should. Some examinations of nullity do go all the way to Rome.
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otm
Guest
Considering that an annulment is not given unless there is a finding that a sacramental marraige did not occur, and the reason that we have so many annulments is that sacramental marriages did not occur, then by logic, your statement is that people should not be granted an annulment, even though a sacrament did not occur, apparently because you believe either that it did occur (which would be granting you a wisdom reserved to those who actually hear the case, and to those who review the findings of the first tribunal), or simply because you finad it shockaing and/or disturbing to your image of what a sacrament is really about.
I fing both postions hard to reconcile with someone who appears to be faith driven.
Perhaps you could explain more clearly?
L
LittleDeb
Guest
I agree. There are an alarming number of annulments granted only because there are an alarming number of invalid marriages. I also can’t see where the Tribunal should not be granting them. If the marriage is invalid the Tribunal must grant the annulment regardless of the number of others they are granting. One case has nothing to do with another.
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otm
Guest
Your position and feelings are very easy to understand. Not to feel, but to understand.
I applaud you in holding off until the childern were older. I would hope that the youngest has a reasonably decent relationship wtih his dad; but the distance of dad not being there is hugh, especially for a teenager.
From your comments, it is clear that you hav not healed thoroughly yet. And I do not equate healing with some sort of “magic wand”; there is always scar tissue; but with true healing, one can move on.
As to your comment about being 58, surpries, surprise! People in their 80’s are still getting married! I suspect the comment is simply part of the undhealed pain and confusion.
Trust the Holy Spirit. In the menwhile, take care of yourself. If you have not engaged in any professional counseling, do so. Most of the time, Catholic Family Services have good people (some of them are awesome!); and if you don’t have success there, try Lutheran Family Counseling.
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RobertinRSA
Guest
Jimmy I think that you are extremely hipocritical!
Firstly, if one is granted an annulment, it does NOT mean that a marriage never took place.
Do not judge! It is all easy to sit from the side line and JUDGE (which is probably a greater sin than getting a divorce) WITHOUT knowing what people are actually gowing through. People go through great pain and hurt when a divorce happens. Each situation and circumstance being unique. Please don’t generalise. It is people like you who give the Catholic Church a bad name.
There are reasons why people get a divorce - that has nothing to do with them not trying to make it work. Do you really think that a couple stood in front of the alter without really and truly being in love with each other?! It also does not mean that they do not love God with all there heart, soul and mind.
Simply: Don’t judge!!! Leave that to God. And Jimmy… GET A LIFE!!!
Firstly, if one is granted an annulment, it does NOT mean that a marriage never took place.
Do not judge! It is all easy to sit from the side line and JUDGE (which is probably a greater sin than getting a divorce) WITHOUT knowing what people are actually gowing through. People go through great pain and hurt when a divorce happens. Each situation and circumstance being unique. Please don’t generalise. It is people like you who give the Catholic Church a bad name.
There are reasons why people get a divorce - that has nothing to do with them not trying to make it work. Do you really think that a couple stood in front of the alter without really and truly being in love with each other?! It also does not mean that they do not love God with all there heart, soul and mind.
Simply: Don’t judge!!! Leave that to God. And Jimmy… GET A LIFE!!!
J
jimmy
Guest
Yes it does. Catholic doctrine says that no valid marriage can be disolved for no reason at all. If someone gets an annulment that means there never was a valid marriage. The marriage was only civil.
Whether I am being hipocritical is not for you to judge. Leave it up to God.
You confuse divorce and annulments. A divorce is a civil seperation an annulment is a declaration that says there never was a valid sacramental marriage. If you are validly married you can’t get an annulment no matter what the circumstances. There is a link above that mentions this.
Don’t judge. I haven’t judged anyone. You are judging me. You don’t know what was in my heart or going through my mind when I wrote that post, so simply, don’t judge.
L
LittleDeb
Guest
Jimmy,
I seem to be going in circles trying to follow your line of thinking and would like to clarify a few things.
I wholely agree with you that many people get out of marriage too easily. I also agree that the sheer number of annulments granted is very sad.
Where I think I disagree is in the line of thinking that to apply for an annulment after a divorce is wrong or hasty. If a valid marriage did not exist, then it did not exist. Whether the Tribunal declares it did not exist or an annulment is never filed, the marriage was still not valid. For many people an annulment can be so healing because it helps them define what IS a marriage and what is NOT a marriage.
Also I disagree with your wording of “valid sacramental.” Some marriages are valid while not being Sacramental.
I think you are trying to get to a similar root as I am. Many people are entering marriage entirely too easily with the idea that they can just divorce and annul it. I have heard too often, “Well that is a reason I would divorce someone,” for any minor issue.
I fully believe that this battle is better fought as people are entering marriage not exiting it. My brother is filing for annulment. His ex-wife is married to someone else. Is he supposed to wait for her to divorce the other guy so they can reconcile?
I do see the point of remaining single after divorce, but I disagree with punishing one spouse for the sins of the other. If his ex-wife entered the marriage invalidly then it is her sin not his.
On the hasty note, he said he would wait to file an annulment in case she did want to reconcile. Six years later he now firmly believes the marriage was invalid and wants it declared so.
I seem to be going in circles trying to follow your line of thinking and would like to clarify a few things.
I wholely agree with you that many people get out of marriage too easily. I also agree that the sheer number of annulments granted is very sad.
Where I think I disagree is in the line of thinking that to apply for an annulment after a divorce is wrong or hasty. If a valid marriage did not exist, then it did not exist. Whether the Tribunal declares it did not exist or an annulment is never filed, the marriage was still not valid. For many people an annulment can be so healing because it helps them define what IS a marriage and what is NOT a marriage.
Also I disagree with your wording of “valid sacramental.” Some marriages are valid while not being Sacramental.
I think you are trying to get to a similar root as I am. Many people are entering marriage entirely too easily with the idea that they can just divorce and annul it. I have heard too often, “Well that is a reason I would divorce someone,” for any minor issue.
I fully believe that this battle is better fought as people are entering marriage not exiting it. My brother is filing for annulment. His ex-wife is married to someone else. Is he supposed to wait for her to divorce the other guy so they can reconcile?
I do see the point of remaining single after divorce, but I disagree with punishing one spouse for the sins of the other. If his ex-wife entered the marriage invalidly then it is her sin not his.
On the hasty note, he said he would wait to file an annulment in case she did want to reconcile. Six years later he now firmly believes the marriage was invalid and wants it declared so.
J
jimmy
Guest
Hello LittleDeb, thankyou for responding in a charitable way. I was a little pissed earier when reading that last post. My post probably reflects that.
The problem I have with it is that people are so hasty to declare the marriage invalid and get an annulment. I think it happens too often. Are there valid times to get an annulment? Yes, there are.
That is specifically the reason why I put “Sacramental” in there. It is valid but only on a civil level.
I agree, it should be handled with people entering marriage. They should council them on marriage and what it is. They should also teach them the Church teaching on marriage and annulments.
I just think that there are many valid marriages that people go to the tribunal with and expect to be annuled. If you have thought seriously about it, and still think it is an invalid marriage go for it.
- Status