annulments

[sandracreswell]

ahhhhhhh the light shines! many thanks…

met a deacon at noon mass today…I think I will call for appointment just to talk …

am happy this is a closed group,this is too personal…sandra

 

[maltmom]

I’m glad you were able to join. It’s a very supportive group.

 

[anthonygeier]

If you had children with that person, Don’t do it! Once its annuled they will be bastards.

 

[joanofarc2008]

If you had children with that person, Don’t do it! Once its annuled they will be bastards.

That is simply not true - and is contrary to Church teaching.

 

[sandracreswell]

received a notice there was a post from anthonygeiger on annulments; however I don’t see it anywhere. Sandra

 

[joanofarc2008]

received a notice there was a post from anthonygeiger on annulments; however I don’t see it anywhere. Sandra

Umm - it was reported. It is no longer part of the thread. I can draw some conclusion from that. It really did not say anything that was of relevance. God bless.

 

[sandracreswell]

new comment and question on annulments…I picked up an annulment packet…looks like an awful amount of emotional work involved…not to mention, I’m not sure I can find witnesses (I’m 69 yrs old here)…so why would it be important for me to do this? S

 

[1ke]

new comment and question on annulments…I picked up an annulment packet…looks like an awful amount of emotional work involved…not to mention, I’m not sure I can find witnesses (I’m 69 yrs old here)…so why would it be important for me to do this? S

Well, you stated you wanted to remarry in the future and therefore we answered your questions in that light. You cannot do that if you have a valid bond to another who is still living.

If you remain single, you need not go through any nullity process.

If your former spouse dies, you need not go through any nullity process to marry again.

 

[sandracreswell]

sounds like you just gave me a spanking…how the heck I know if I’m going to marry in the future?

but you didn’t answer the question about the emotional part…is it worth it even if I don’t remarry?

did I have a valid marriage? I don’t know…thats for tribunal to decide.

 

[1ke]

sounds like you just gave me a spanking…how the heck I know if I’m going to marry in the future?

No, I think you misunderstood… or I did.

You asked why it would be important to do it. I was simply answering that it is that it isn’t important to do it if you make the decision to stay single. But, that is not what you stated in your original post. You stated you wanted to remarry. That would be the primary reason to seek a decree of nullity.

Without a decree of nullity you must make the decision not to get involved romantically.

but you didn’t answer the question about the emotional part…is it worth it even if I don’t remarry?

I don’t think anyone can answer that. Their experience may not be your experience.

 

[EasterJoy]

sounds like you just gave me a spanking…how the heck I know if I’m going to marry in the future?

but you didn’t answer the question about the emotional part…is it worth it even if I don’t remarry?

did I have a valid marriage? I don’t know…thats for tribunal to decide.

Do you mean, does a tribunal not want to be bothered if you don’t see yourself re-marrying? No. If you have gone through a divorce, you can ask to have your case looked at. I think many people who never intend to remarry feel it is important. You aren’t alone.

I second Annulment: The Wedding That Was by Michael Smith Foster, too. This is the kind of thing where going in with knowledge is definitely better than going in blind.

As for the emotional part, I wouldn’t be sure that it is always best to “let sleeping dogs lie”, but that is something to consider for yourself. For me, the prospect of being down for a few days after having a wisdom tooth out was better than having the thing keep worrying me periodically. As for the absence of witnesses, the process will have to go on as well as it can with what you have. You’re where you are, everyone is the age they are, you can’t change that.

Get some education, get some real-life counselling, I think you’ll be able to discern what to do and when.

 

[sandracreswell]

ok, thanks

I did some reading…I read the book…I was looking to you for counsel…no need for anyone to reply…

 

[Irishgal49]

new comment and question on annulments…I picked up an annulment packet…looks like an awful amount of emotional work involved…not to mention, I’m not sure I can find witnesses (I’m 69 yrs old here)…so why would it be important for me to do this? S

It isn’t if you don’t plan on remarrying. If you are 69 and have no plans to ever remarry, then don’t bother. If you have married again or are wanting to get married again, then you should do it.

Lorrie

 

[sandracreswell]

Really??? I’ve got a lot of living left to do…how do i know if i’ll ever remarry? no one knows the future…I never said “I have no intention of remarrying”…I’m finished with this site…please don’t replay.

 

[joanofarc2008]

The decree of nullity process can be daunting at first. It can be frustrating while you are going through it. Overall, it can be healing process as well. I am sorry that maybe the answers you were getting were maybe a little more focused on the intellectual than maybe the emotional side. God bless.

 

[EasterJoy]

Really??? I’ve got a lot of living left to do…how do i know if i’ll ever remarry? no one knows the future…I never said “I have no intention of remarrying”…I’m finished with this site…please don’t replay.

I’m with you. If I were in your position and considered the marriage* valid* and always intended to live accordingly, I’d not ask for a decree, but if I considered the marriage invalid, after all, I’d want the decree saying so…not just because I might need to “use” it, but because I’d want that answer. I’d want to know whether to consider myself married or not!

You are free to do what you think is right, though, especially since you’ve done your homework, have clergy you can talk to if you need to, and can make an informed decision for yourself. You don’t need us!