Anonymity in Confession - how anonymous is it supposed to be?

[ssa_trad_cath]

Having a talk with a friend this morning, he suggested that the anonymity of confession was supposed to be absolute. I don’t mean the seal of confession and the priest’s inability to reveal what he hears in confession. Instead, my friend seemed to imply that the priest isn’t even supposed to recognise the voice of the person who is making a confession - for the purposes of confession they’re supposed to be a complete stranger to the priest. He even mentioned that a mutual friend stopped going to a particular priest pecause the priest mentioned his name during confession, so obviously he recognised him.

Personally, I’m not sure about this - in practice it would be difficult for the priest in confession not to recognise the voice of someone he knows quite well. Also, I’ve heard that the priest, if he knows a penitent, can help them develop in the spiritual life, which to me would seem a bit difficult if each time they come to confession he has to act as if they’re a complete stranger.

A priest once told me that the use of the confessional with the grille does help give the illusion of anonymity which can help people make a confession, but that there were other good reasons for the traditional arrangement of a confessional, which are nothing to do with anonymity. For example the crucifix on or above the grille is a reminder that we are confessing to God, not just the priest, and they phusical barrier between priest and penitent was to help to prevent dfalse allegations of improper conduct in confession. (At one stage, weren’t the confessions of women supposed to always be heard in confessionals except in an emergency, for this reason?)

Any thoughts or ideas about this?

 

[CB_Catholic]

I go to Confession face-to-face. My parish priests recognize and greet me, but they have never, and I mean never, even referred to the fact I have been to Confession to them outside of the Confessional. That, for want of a better words, is taboo.

I do not think anonymity is a requirement for confession at all. It is not the seal of the confessional. If you read the lives of the Saints you will note that they almost all had Confessors and these Confessors knew these Saints very well, even when behind the screen was the common practice. Read the Diary of St. Faustina and some of the works of the other Saints to see how close they were to their Confessors.

I think your friend is wrong. However, choosing to go behind the screen is not wrong, just the idea the priest is not supposed to recognize the Confessor as a condition of Confession.

 

[YoungTradCath]

Canon Law requires that all confessionals have some sort of fixed grate in them to preserve anonymity. Now, we all know that there are simply TONS of confessionals without these.

 

[bmullins]

Canon 964

§2: The conference of bishops is to issue norms concerning the confessional, seeing to it that confessionals with a fixed grille between penitent and confessor are always located in an open area so that the faithful who wish to make use of them may do so freely.

That doesn’t mean that all confessionals HAVE to have them, but that they have to be available. Face to face confession is a norm and very much accepted in Canon Law, but both the person confessing and the priest have the right to choose anonymous confession if they desire to do so. (Even if the person confessing asks for face to face, the priest can say he wants anonymous, at his discretion.)

 

[CB_Catholic]

Canon Law requires that all confessionals have some sort of fixed grate in them to preserve anonymity. Now, we all know that there are simply TONS of confessionals without these.

The issue here isn’t the lack of a grille–it is the belief of the OP’s friend that anonymity is a requirement for Confession on the same level as the seal of the Confessional, and that one should not go to Confession to a priest who knows your name. and recognizes you.

That simply is not true. Anonymity is not a requirement for Confession. However, a grille should be provided for those who wish it. In the OP’s post, that was not a problem. There was a grille.

 

[SwizzleStick]

So, some or even many parishes do not provide a grille? I have never in my life been to such a parish for confession. I would not like to go to confession without anonymity. With one exception–when I asked Father if he had time to hear my confession one morning after daily Mass–I have always gone to confession anonymously.

 

[cessnawag]

I used to confess though the screen when I first converted because I was ashamed. But after talking frankly to the priest he basically told me he has heard everything and he is more interested in cleaning souls then hearing sins. I also think you also get better advice if you go to the same priest face to face.

 

[YoungTradCath]

So, some or even many parishes do not provide a grille? I have never in my life been to such a parish for confession. I would not like to go to confession without anonymity. With one exception–when I asked Father if he had time to hear my confession one morning after daily Mass–I have always gone to confession anonymously.

I’ve actually never seen a confessional in real life with a grille.

 

[SwizzleStick]

I’ve actually never seen a confessional in real life with a grille.

Hence the “Young” in your screen name. When I was young, that was the only way to confess, from behind the grille. I suppose that is why I still confess that way. It is what I know and how I am at ease during the sacrament.

 

[PatriceA]

Not a requirement at all. Some people prefer the anonymity, but in many cases people develop an ongoing relationship with their confessor, some priests even becoming their spiritual directors. It is good to develop that kind of relationship, especially if one is really struggling with a particular chronic sinful situation. The relationship between the priest and the confessor is on many levels similar to the relationship between a doctor and their patient. I wouldn’t want to have to go to a doctor that doesn’t know my medical history every time I had a problem. Same with going to confession and having to find a priest that wouldn’t be able to recognize me in the confessional because of a anonymity requirement.

 

[PatriceA]

Hence the “Young” in your screen name. When I was young, that was the only way to confess, from behind the grille. I suppose that is why I still confess that way. It is what I know and am at ease.

Our diocese has many, many old church buildings where that’s the only option as well. That’s the only option my daughter (age 12) knows actually because we’ve never belonged to a parish with a more modern building plan.

 

[roadsend]

We all have a canonical right to anonymous confession.
Except in danger of death, I will never go to confession other than anonymously.
I know far too many former padres, who are now civilians, in some cases heretical or apostate civilians.

 

[the_phoenix]

Just don’t do what I did.

I was so nervous that I walked in on the priest through the wrong door.

No anonymity for me!

It turned out all right though.

…

 

[YoungTradCath]

Hence the “Young” in your screen name. When I was young, that was the only way to confess, from behind the grille. I suppose that is why I still confess that way. It is what I know and how I am at ease during the sacrament.

Well, my statement was actually a criticism. I think it’s very sad that I’ve never seen a confessional with a grille.

 

[victorbuhagiar]

**In my humble opinion, I prefer to confess to a priest who knows me. He would be able to guide me more. Confession is not always just reciting one’s sins. Discussion may be required. I have always felt my confession is better when you have a regular priest. Do nor forget that confession is a Sacrament.

God bless.

Victor **

 

[craftjunki]

And to think that in the days of Christ (and shortly thereafter) confession was done in the center of town with the whole town watching! Absolutely wouldn’t have been able to do that!! I’m a recent convert and I’ve only done the face to face. To have Fr lay his hands on my forehead and absolve me…I don’t think I could miss out on that. It feels final that way, imo.

 

[anp1215]

I’ve actually never seen a confessional in real life with a grille.

Do you mean that you’ve never seen a confessional with an actual grille or you’ve never seen a confessional in which anonymous confession was offered through a screen or other barrier?

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

I don’t think it’s absolute in the sense the Seal is, though anonymous confession also helps with that too, and protects the priest and penitent. If my parish had a reconciliation room rather than a confessional, we’d have to install a big glass window in the door to ensure nothing was happening with children, thanks to the scandal. Nothing quite like feeling like you’re being put on display while confessing.

Anyhoo, ideally anonymous confession is supposed to be that, anonymous. If you’re not known to the priest, especially if you’re coming back after being away for a long time, it’s going to be anonymous. Naturally, over time as you keep confessing to the same priest, he’s going to figure out at least to some degree that it’s this person confessing again (though, he may not actually know who that person is). For some people such as myself who have unique circumstances in life which can create some unique sins, yeah, my priest knows it’s me confessing, but won’t acknowledge that he knows it’s me. Though, sometimes he has slipped up and made light mention of something that I didn’t actually mention, or something minor like that.

In the past I wouldn’t be able to do non-anonymous confession, and my priest doesn’t do non-anonymous confession under normal circumstances, but anonymity doesn’t bother me as much as it used to with my confessor. I trust him enough.

 

[englishredrose]

**In my humble opinion, I prefer to confess to a priest who knows me. He would be able to guide me more. Confession is not always just reciting one’s sins. Discussion may be required. I have always felt my confession is better when you have a regular priest. Do nor forget that confession is a Sacrament.

God bless.

Victor **

I agree with you Victor. To have a regular priest and a priest that understands you a little goes a long way in confession as they know how to properly guide you and give you appropriate penances that really helps you move forward rather than penance that just have to be got through. I have spiritual grown since the last confession because the priest knows me enough to know how to guide and if it been anonymous I wouldn’t have spiritually grown and be happy with where I am at today. So for me whilst the option may be there, I prefer the priest to know me as can guide me much more fully

 

[Irishgal49]

I love hearing about the old Confessional “boxes”. I actually used them a lot when I attended Latin Mass–loved them by the way, I really let it fly when I’m in there and I don’t sit around trying to “explain myself”. When I’m face to face, I’m such an extrovert, that I get caught up in “conversing” and my Confessor has said to me (more than once) “What sin are you confessing? Let’s stick with the sin.” He knows the train derailed he doesn’t need to hear the whole story about how it got that way (unless he asks–and once-in-a-while he has). I would always be anonymous but I have an addiction so if I run up before Mass and ask for a quick Confession, like I did this morning, it seems goofy to run and hide behind the screen.

If I want an anonymous Confession I drive to a parish with a priest I don’t know at regular Confession hours and go behind the screen. I did get a chance to use an old “box” at a retreat center and I will say I LOVED it…highly recommend it to OCD people like me. You can’t get as focused on the priest, his facial expressions, etc and that is very helpful.

The best Confession EVER happened recently while meeting with a priest for some spiritual guidance. He had prayed the Mass at a single’s healing retreat I attended and I was totally impressed with him so I called him to meet for dinner/conversation and found I was also in need of Confession.

We did a “walking Confession” at this shopping plaza. We walked and he started it so beautifully by saying, “So what do you want to tell God you’re sorry for?” and it was the best Confession ever in my life. I felt this dialogue between me and Jesus and this priest, in a ball cap and light jacket (and tennis shoes) was every bit a priest but for some reason as I walked it was all about Jesus and I felt the gentle wind and saw the moon and the stars and as we walked and I would confess a sin, and he would comment, and on and on it went until I was done. I realized then that our priests are always priests, no matter where they go, what they wear, or what we’re doing, and that became so powerful. I wish I could explain it but I can’t. If someone walked by (only happened twice) we just paused the conversation and then resumed it after they passed us. I received my penance, made my act of contrition, and he gave me absolution. At that moment I can say, for the very first time I truly FELT my sins were forgiven…all of them. I always knew this in my head and believed in faith but this time I felt it deep in my heart. When I looked up we were right back where we started from, as if it was all per-arranged by God and signaled our time to say goodnight.

We shook hands and I left feeling at peace and totally right with God and myself. I really think there’s something to outdoor Confession for me as I really connect with nature and God’s creation. I will never forget that Confession and what I felt that evening. I know now it had nothing to do with the priest other than he was God’s vessel, it was about being outdoors and my being able to relax and truly feel reconciled to God and His Church. Thanks be to God.