Good morning All,
I hope I’m posting this question in the proper place. What is the Catholic teaching or tradition regarding praying for the salvation of the soul of someone who does not know that you are praying for them? Though anonymous, are such prayers efficacious? And when that person reaches Heaven, will they know that you prayed for them, or will it remain a secret between you and God?
I’m asking because I’m praying for the salvation of the soul of someone whose presence is something of a thorn in my side (or am I the thorn in hers?). I want to use that energy in a positive way. I would appreciate any and all thoughts.
Thank You
You are doing an admirable thing.
This is an aspect of what is called “spiritual adoption” (in the sense that you are acting as a kind of parent to this person, providing for her spiritual needs by asking God to help her). These days we tend to hear about spiritual adoption mostly in the context of the pro-life movement (i.e., spiritually adopting unborn children) but it can also refer to situations when we pray on behalf of people whom we find to be problematic (and it can refer to still other situations as well).
Moreover, in praying for this person, bearing the wrongs patiently, and forgiving her willingly, you are doing three of the
Spiritual Works of Mercy.
There are many people in our lives who can really “fry our bacon” and stressful energy will naturally arise within us from their words and actions. Objectively speaking, people are free to release this energy in negative, sinful ways (such as insulting them, gossiping about them, etc.), which will, indeed, relieve stress, but causes even more problems for them because they resorted to the ways of sin.
The gospels, however, challenge us to resort to positive ways, and so we should do exactly what you have elected to do: put that energy into praying for them. If we decide to pray for a specific person for a prolonged time then, in a sense, we have spiritually adopted that person. If we also do works of charity for such people then we live this aspect of spiritual adoption in an even more profound way. Jesus tells us to love our enemies, and pray and works of charity are powerful ways of doing just that (because it combines both Spiritual and Corporal Works of Mercy).
Nevertheless, I have to sometimes remind myself not to turn prayer into a weapon (for example, “Holy Spirit, I pray that you knock that jerk off his high-horse!”). And I’m not suggesting that you have the same problem; I’m merely speaking a bit more about my personal experiences in the realm of spiritual adoption. Rather, I usually pray for a person’s “health and well-being: mind, body and soul”, figuring that such a request “rounds all the bases” of someone’s needs (and if he does, indeed, need to knocked off his high-horse for his own good then it is up to the Holy Spirit to determine this and make it happen).
As to whether or not such people will know that they were spiritually adopted by us when in heaven, I really can’t say. I don’t think that there is anything in Scripture or Tradition that emphatically tells us one way or another, although Mark 4:22 seems to suggest that such things will be known by them: “For there is nothing hid, except to be made manifest; nor is anything secret, except to come to light.” If that is the case then naturally I presume that they will be grateful for any help they received during their spiritual journeys.
