Another ABA vs NFP question

[EmKinPA]

I’ve read these scenarios time and time again, but I am unsure about how to speak compassionately and morally to my husband with NFP.

As for background- my husband is non-denominational Christian and I am Catholic. We have a 9 month old and are not sure of adding a brother or sister yet. After the bAby I used contraceptives because I thought after a c-section, for health reasons it was ok. Ive discovered it wasn’t, so I stopped. Then my husband started with condoms. I feel terribly torn between clinging to any form of unity with him (no judgement we have a baby that doesn’t sleep too well) and continuing to forsake Gods gifts for that unity. It’s simple to me- eternity is a long time to suffer for this, but he not only refuses to hear but absolutely rejects the teachings.

I’ve tried to gently explain that he’s rejecting God and I as well as compromising my faith, and I’ve gotten no where. In pre-canna he was open, but tonight he told me that he is unsure of our marriage’s future thus it’s out of the question. I’ve read that, when torn, all you can do is express your opposition, but what if I now know he is 100% not open to life? While I frankly feel his position sees marital relations as a means rather than an end, does my opposition remove me from his sin? I know conscience plays a big part, but my conscience screams at me still knowing my marriage is very fragile right now.

My question is, how do I balance maintaining and my marriage and avoiding mortal sin? Where does circumstance overrule conscience? How could/should I approach this topic with him?

Thank you in advance- you are all Saints for freely offering your time to help strangers I truly appreciate you all

 

[1R3M4C]

I am in the same situation with the exception that my husband is what I guess you can consider a non-practicing Catholic. My heart tells me to pray for him, for me, and for my marriage.

 

[Xantippe]

The standard advice is that as long as you’ve stated your opposition to the use of condoms, you may have relations with your husband, even if you know he’s going to use them.

Talk to a priest to set your mind at ease.

Also, start working on charting for NFP so that if your husband has a change of heart, you’ll be able to switch over. As long as you breastfeed plus a couple of months, charting will be probably be tricky, but as your cycles return, you’ll probably find it more and more informative. “I’m ovulating very soon, honey,” will probably stop him in his tracks with the condoms (or it ought to, if he has any sense at all). You can share your charts and what you’ve learned as you get more and more experience.

Best wishes!

 

[Nan_S]

There’s a term for couples who use condoms. They’re called parents.

If not used per the instructions condoms only provide a false sense of security. And even when used correctly they break. They slip. They fail.

If you get an NFP instructor who teaches you how to identify the changes in cervical mucus you can predict ovulation very reliably, even while breastfeeding.

 

[Ophelia23]

Friend, let your heart be at peace. This is such a terribly difficult situation during such a tricky stage of your marriage. In terms of when “circumstance overrides conscience”, it doesn’t. But, you can not be held responsible for your husband’s sin when you have very openly stated your objections. You do not need to end relations with your husband, but under no circumstances may you use contraception yourself. He is using a condom, not you. It is hard to separate that when the action is so entwined. Pray for your husband without ceasing. He can always have a change of heart! Never change your stance on this. Let him know how the condoms make you feel. He may still convert his heart some day.

 

[underacloud]

Your husband is contracepting against your wishes. There is no sin on you whatsoever. As others have addressed, provided he knows your objections (you don’t have to constantly remind him), then you commit no sin in engaging in the marital act with him.

As a Catholic, I of course adhere to the teaching on contraception. But your husband is not Catholic. From his perspective, why is your desire not to use contraception any more important than his desire to use it?

 

[EmKinPA]

Thank you all a thousand times!

Clearly the thread title should read ABC

It’s hard to view it as separate when, as one of you put it, the act is intertwined. Im going to meet with my priest keep praying. You are all angels-- Thank you.