Another baby: too old? Too many c-sections?

  • Thread starter Thread starter gracepoole
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pensmama87 said:
gracepoole, whether or not you decide to try again (or just quit avoiding), I would suggest trying to find a different provider. I can’t imagine being talked to that way. The practice I go to prescribes birth control and refers for sterilization, but all I had to do was say I wasn’t interested and they leave it alone.

You deserve respect as a patient, and you don’t have to sacrifice competent care for that. Harassing you about your religious beliefs is really unprofessional.
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+1 👍
 
pensmama87 said:
gracepoole, whether or not you decide to try again (or just quit avoiding), I would suggest trying to find a different provider. I can’t imagine being talked to that way. The practice I go to prescribes birth control and refers for sterilization, but all I had to do was say I wasn’t interested and they leave it alone.

You deserve respect as a patient, and you don’t have to sacrifice competent care for that. Harassing you about your religious beliefs is really unprofessional.
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^ Agree 100% there. My OB, who performed both of my C-sections, is Christian and pro-life but also prescribes birth control. He is perfectly respectful of my beliefs in that regard. For a medical professional to behave otherwise is not okay.

Another reason I respect him and what he has to say about future kids is that when I’ve asked him about how many more pregnancies, he says “get through this one, and then let’s see how things look.” Basically, he doesn’t have a “no more than 3 C-sections” rule–he has a “let’s see how your uterus looks, and decide at that point if another pregnancy is a good idea or not.” As he has said, he’s seen moms who shouldn’t have another baby after two C-sections, and other moms who are fine for six or more. It really depends on how you heal. Having your records sent to a doctor who is respectful about your religious beliefs and also interested in how your uterus, rather than The Standard Uterus ™ looks after a few C-sections, looks, may give you some valuable insight about whether or not this is something you want to pursue.
 
holyrood said:
The point is, the age at which you have a child is almost meaningless. Like anything, it’s what you *do *with the situation, rather than the situation itself.

Again, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Thank you so, so much for your prayers! I almost entirely agree with you about age. But of course, combining age with multiple c-sections has realities attached to it, as well. That’s my only concern.
WilliamE said:
I never heard that expression before. :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
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It’s so apt in our family! 🙂
pensmama87 said:
gracepoole, whether or not you decide to try again (or just quit avoiding), I would suggest trying to find a different provider. I can’t imagine being talked to that way. The practice I go to prescribes birth control and refers for sterilization, but all I had to do was say I wasn’t interested and they leave it alone.

You deserve respect as a patient, and you don’t have to sacrifice competent care for that. Harassing you about your religious beliefs is really unprofessional.
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Right?? You should have seen me when this all happened. I came home and FLIPPED OUT. I should say that this man is one of several providers in the same practice and I’ve successfully avoided him since. The female OB who delivered our last baby asked me once about tubal ligation, I said no, and I was never asked again. I was thinking that the birth would be the last time I’d need this OB practice – I just didn’t really think getting pregnant again would be an option physically.

I will say that it was eye-opening. I don’t often have to defend my pro-life values and Catholic faith in that kind of setting. But I’ve come to realize that there likely are many women who are being pressured to sacrifice their beliefs. God help us. 😦 I actually felt blessed, though, to have an opportunity to very firmly state what’s right. Shouldn’t have had to do it, though.

I really appreciate your thoughtfulness. You are, of course, right! I do have an appointment with someone in the practice tomorrow morning for a check-up and discussion of options – thankfully, it’s with a female physician who is crunchy, natural, and a-okay with my use of NFP previously.
 
UbiCaritas said:
^ Agree 100% there. My OB, who performed both of my C-sections, is Christian and pro-life but also prescribes birth control. He is perfectly respectful of my beliefs in that regard. For a medical professional to behave otherwise is not okay.

Another reason I respect him and what he has to say about future kids is that when I’ve asked him about how many more pregnancies, he says “get through this one, and then let’s see how things look.” Basically, he doesn’t have a “no more than 3 C-sections” rule–he has a “let’s see how your uterus looks, and decide at that point if another pregnancy is a good idea or not.” As he has said, he’s seen moms who shouldn’t have another baby after two C-sections, and other moms who are fine for six or more. It really depends on how you heal. Having your records sent to a doctor who is respectful about your religious beliefs and also interested in how your uterus, rather than The Standard Uterus ™ looks after a few C-sections, looks, may give you some valuable insight about whether or not this is something you want to pursue.
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Thank you for your advice! I should know more after tomorrow. I have healed very well after all three c-sections. That said, they all took a HUGE toll on me. And each has been harder than the last. I am beginning a novena today and am praying for guidance.
 
Hi gracepoole,
Praying for strength and guidance from Our Lord.
May God bless you and your family.
Amen.
 
gracepoole said:
Thank you for your advice! I should know more after tomorrow. I have healed very well after all three c-sections. That said, they all took a HUGE toll on me. And each has been harder than the last. I am beginning a novena today and am praying for guidance.
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That I completely understand. I have only had two, and found that I healed much faster physically (the recoveries themselves weren’t a particularly big deal) than I did emotionally.
 
My instinct is to say leave it to God, but I would suggest that you and your husband talk through the medical issues with a morally sympathetic doctor.
 
I hope your appointment goes well. I am a nurse in Post-Partum and I have seen some women have five C-sections and do fine, yet I have had to take babies to visit their mothers in the ICU after severe bleeding or other complications after 2 or 3 C-sections. The risks can be very real, but every woman is unique.
 
If we keep on this course of medical intrusion into everything, we will permit bad genes to continue and create a race of impotent, asthmatic, infertile, nearsighted people who can’t give birth without modern surgery. What will happen to us then?
 
gracepoole said:
We have been blessed with three little ones so far and I just turned 43. All three were born via c-section (breech babies who wouldn’t turn). How many c-sections have you had? Have you had a baby at this age? We want to be open to life, of course – just trying to think of logistics.
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I had my 6th baby and 5th c-section at 45. My doctor said that I had healed very well and had little scar tissue. I chose my doctor carefully, selecting someone who would not give me a “no” after an arbitrary number of c-sections. It is a lot harder having a baby in your mid-40s than when you’re younger. No doubt about that!
 
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