Another birth control question...

[Julianna]

First of all, since you were vague in your descriprition of your mother, I don’t think you did anything from for posting.

I must admit though, I find it odd that she told you about it. But then again, perhaps she has a very close relationship with you.

Now, I am going to point out something and I hope it is received the right way. I will assume that your mother is now pass her child bearing years. It makes sense she regrets it now. No longer being able to have chlidren can be a hard thing for some women to accept.

Also, time heals all wounds. I am sure she no longer feels the same fear she felt years ago when another pregnancy could mean serious health issues. It is really easy to speak years later, but when you are in the situation it is a lot harder to act.

I feel like you mother is being too hard on herself. I am sure at the time if a trusted priest told her it was OK, God will have compassion for her.

And as many have already all she needs to do is go to confession. Please tell your mom to not be so hard on herself

CM

Beautiful…and loving.

 

[Windfish]

Thank you everyone for the thoughtful replies.

I’m the kind of person who frets over the welfare of others. I love my mother so much, she is such a loving person, that I am horrified at the thought of God not seeing her in His grace. The Church’s teachings on sex and sexuality are, probably, the most difficult to follow. I hope God will have mercy on otherwise holy people that fail in these hard teachings.

 

[choy]

well, i’m not a doctor to make conclusive judgment on the situation, of what is warranted or not as a treatment for a particular disease or condition

all i’m saying, if the intention is not for birth control, but to treat a disease or condition, and as a consequence the person is sterilized, then its acceptable

the best course of action is to get all the facts from the doctor (was it medically necessary). then present these facts to the priest

if the priest gave his blessing before the operation, then he must think its medically necessary. so get every information from the doctor and bring it to the priest

 

[puzzleannie]

My So what do you think? Given .

I think it is a matter between her and God, which means her and her confessor, and none of my business, and none of her children’s business. Is it objectively gravely wrong? yes, but I wasn’t there I don’t know the circumstances and even if I did it would still not be my place to judge the actions of another individual. The most I am responsible for is teaching the truth to those in my care. that teaching never includes making an example of specific persons.

 

[Agrazing_Mace]

What a little ray of sunshine you are. Perhaps “permission” was not the right word. How do you know what was said between this woman and her priest. You don’t.

You also don’t see the bigger picture. You see “sin” where ever you go. How sad for you.

The child of this woman is in pain for her mother. “Grace of a bothered conscience”?

As for the privacy…the OP stated that her mother is a Godly woman and perhaps she would seek out CAF for compassion…

Ridicule, and forcasting of doom and gloom, perpetuating guilt her child believes she is feeling…isn’t helpful nor charitable.

Based upon the info given in “windfish’s” original thread, there really is no need to “know” what was said between the two. The subjectivity you are trying to incorporate into the advice is detrimental to the objective truth of the matter.

Now, who’s making assumptions about seeing sin where one goes? Seriously, the respondent was only offering their own advice/answers to “windfish’s” dilemma… a dilemma she freely published on this forum. This person was seeking advice/answers from a proper Catholic position, which is obviously why she posted it, here. Be very careful with your own accusations.

Yes, the child of this woman is in pain- that is duly noted. No one doubts that, as it is clearly stated and felt through their words. If you are just looking for respondents to give “virtual” hugs and cry with the person, you are looking for a purely sympathetic response, which will only console, and not offer the objective answer of truth, as taught by The Church. The sympathy/empathy is necessary, but it is not the main substance needed in addressing “windfish’s” concerns. You seem to only want the glossy sugarcoating and not the hard truth. As for your cynical quoting of the respondent, I think you really need to examine those words a bit. “Grace of a bothered conscience” is actually right on the money if you were at all in tune with “windfish’s” original note. Kudos to you, respondent.

As for your closing line about doom and gloom… wow. This is further confirmation of your unwillingness to stare truth in the face. After reading the responses, in all actuality, it is your evaluations that are truly pessimistic. I pray God gives you the grace to honestly own-up to your own faults and misgivings so as to allow for a healthier relationship with him. Holiness is hardly the easy road- for one to point that out does not make them an agent of doom and gloom who perpetuates guilt… moreso, it better equips one to seek holiness and not some candy-covered illusion of acceptance.

 

[Julianna]

Based upon the info given in “windfish’s” original thread, there really is no need to “know” what was said between the two. The subjectivity you are trying to incorporate into the advice is detrimental to the objective truth of the matter. **
Now, who’s making assumptions about seeing sin where one goes? Seriously, the respondent was only offering their own advice/answers to “windfish’s” dilemma… a dilemma she freely published on this forum. This person was seeking advice/answers from a proper Catholic position, which is obviously why she posted it, here. Be very careful with your own accusations. **

Yes, the child of this woman is in pain- that is duly noted. No one doubts that, as it is clearly stated and felt through their words. If you are just looking for respondents to give “virtual” hugs and cry with the person, you are looking for a purely sympathetic response, which will only console, and not offer the objective answer of truth, as taught by The Church. The sympathy/empathy is necessary, but it is not the main substance needed in addressing “windfish’s” concerns. You seem to only want the glossy sugarcoating and not the hard truth. As for your cynical quoting of the respondent, I think you really need to examine those words a bit. “Grace of a bothered conscience” is actually right on the money if you were at all in tune with “windfish’s” original note. Kudos to you, respondent.

As for your closing line about doom and gloom… wow. **This is further confirmation of your unwillingness to stare truth in the face. **After reading the responses, in all actuality, it is your evaluations that are truly pessimistic. **I pray God gives you the grace to honestly own-up to your own faults and misgivings so as to allow for a healthier relationship with him. **Holiness is hardly the easy road- for one to point that out does not make them an agent of doom and gloom who perpetuates guilt… moreso, it better equips one to seek holiness and not some candy-covered illusion of acceptance.

Your opinion.

again, an opinion

And also with you…

ok, let’s forget the empathy and consoling and hit her over the head with Church doctrine.

Glad to see your crystal ball is shined up and working.

I know, I know…I should have beat her over the head with Church doctrine…not knowing what her mother and the priest “really discussed.” I shouldn’t have answered or responded to her pain in writing this post.

I am well aware of my faults and misgivings…this affords me the gift of the spirit…which is empathy. I am an empath. Proverbs 31:9

the guilt is already there…let’s hit her and mother over the head with more…

What you described…is not the Church I grew up in from birth in 1958 until now. I have never experienced the “evangelical fundy, in your face Catholicism” until I read the posts on CAF. Every priest, every nun/sister/religious in my life, has been kind, empathetic and told the truth with gentleness and mercy.

But hey…you’re entitled use the iron fist if you choose.

 

[m_crane]

I’m assuming that your mom confided in you about the talk with the priest and the sterilization that followed. If this is the case then mom may be asking you for guidance.

You sound like you already know that sterilization is a grave matter.

If you are asking because you care about the condition of your mom’s soul then you should recommend to her that she take this issue to Confession. Though she may not be aware of the gravity of her actions, taking it to Confession will give you both peace.

I care about the condition of my loved ones souls too. As Catholics we need to help one another whenever we can with good holy advice.

 

[Joseph_L_Varga]

I’m the kind of person who frets over the welfare of others. I love my mother so much, she is such a loving person, that I am horrified at the thought of God not seeing her in His grace.

Hi Windfish,

that’s exactly how I would feel in such situation. Your Mom has nothing to lose, but everything to gain, by bringing up this issue during her next confession. If she committed a sin, it will be absolved by the sacrament of reconciliation.

Sometimes priests do give faulty advice, and the priest who advised that it was OK to get sterilized apparently gave the wrong advice.