Another confession question

[ibkc]

I am preparing for my first confession. I am over 40 and have lived a less than Christian life for much of that time, and I have a lot to sort through.

I am an alcoholic. For a long time, before I acknowledged this, I would go out with friends and get trashed to the point of mental obliteration or close to it. Under that influence I did a lot of things that I would never, ever have done had I been sober: hard drugs and fornication. This went on for far too long. Are the sins I committed under the influence mortal sins and do I need to make a long list for my first confession? Is the biggest sin the uncontrolled alcoholism and putting myself in the position of sinning? For what it’s worth, I am a wife and mother now, and even though those days are long behind me, not a day goes by that I don’t regret deeply how much time I wasted and how much spiritual damage I inflicted on myself.

Any direction here is appreciated.

 

[puzzleannie]

at your first general confession, after an exhaustive time of prayer and examination of conscience, you will confess all the grave sins you recall, in kind and number, and the circumstance as you have described it in OP which led to much of what gives you compunction (that feeling of guilt and contrition you allude to). you will be absolved of all sins of your past life, and renewed with the grace of the sacrament to combat whatever poses temptation for you.

welcome home

 

[turtle18]

Just confess everything. You put yourself in a position to commit mortal sin when you drank uncontrollably. Yes, drinking in excess is a mortal sin but it doesn’t excuse the other mortal sins that followed–because you deliberately put yourself into a position where you couldn’t have full consent.

One act can cause multiple sins. For example, a person can commit adultery and they are committing adultery and lying. A person can steal and they are stealing and lying. Someone can lie to their parents and they are dishonoring them and lying to them. Someone can be so obsessed with money, power, fame or material posessions, they are coveting and having false Gods & idols.

 

[CatholicDenise]

hello there, glad you are here,
one of the best things you can do is sit down with the 10 comandments and go through them, write down the the things you need to confess. here is a guide I found on this forum i hope it helps. youth.stbrons.com/Prayers/guide_to_confession.htm

Another good thing to do would be to take a copy of the act of contrition with you. sometimes it isn’t in there and i know if you get nervous you may forget the words.

I was told after confession take the papers you wrote your sins on and burn them. i just threw them away. Your sins will be forgiven and erased so it is best to try to clear them from your mind and not dwell on them.

what i do now is keep a journal I write in it almost every day. I write in it the things i have done that day that were a sin and i write what i can do to try to keep from doing that particular thing. This way the next time i go to confession i can remember the things i need to confess.

Good luck to you! oh and one more thing. I know you are nervous about going to confession. Just do it!!! and believe me you will have the most amazing feeling after. at least i do. such a weight is lifted from you and you can walk in the grace of God.

confession is a wonderful thing!

 

[CatholicDenise]

Just confess everything. You put yourself in a position to commit mortal sin when you drank uncontrollably. Yes, drinking in excess is a mortal sin but it doesn’t excuse the other mortal sins that followed–because you deliberately put yourself into a position where you couldn’t have full consent.

they may not have deliberately put themselves in a drunken state. they may very well have thaught they would only have one drink. alcoholism is a disease! If you don’t know you have the disease you don’t know to not take that first drink. a lot of the time an alcoholic thinks they can have a couple drinks and don’t intend on getting drunk, but the disease screams inside you to keep on drinking and it is not deliberate.

 

[Quarles47]

One of my first questions here is, a plus 40 year old is preparing for his or her first confession while converting to Catholicism then are we to assume that this person hasn’t been baptized? And if that person hasn’t been baptized then remember that baptism will wash away all the sins up to that point and start the soul anew.

 

[ibkc]

they may not have deliberately put themselves in a drunken state. they may very well have thaught they would only have one drink. alcoholism is a disease! If you don’t know you have the disease you don’t know to not take that first drink. a lot of the time an alcoholic thinks they can have a couple drinks and don’t intend on getting drunk, but the disease screams inside you to keep on drinking and it is not deliberate.

Hi Denise - in my long history, sometimes what you describe did indeed happen. And other times, I set out deliberately to get drunk. It all happened so many times that it’s almost too much for me to sort through. But, from these responses I think what the best thing for me to do is just confess everything and leave nothing out.

Quarles -

One of my first questions here is, a plus 40 year old is preparing for his or her first confession while converting to Catholicism then are we to assume that this person hasn’t been baptized? And if that person hasn’t been baptized then remember that baptism will wash away all the sins up to that point and start the soul anew.

I was baptized in the Episcopal Church as an infant, so confession it is for me.

 

[DJgang]

One of my first questions here is, a plus 40 year old is preparing for his or her first confession while converting to Catholicism then are we to assume that this person hasn’t been baptized? And if that person hasn’t been baptized then remember that baptism will wash away all the sins up to that point and start the soul anew.

What?

OP says “I am preparing for first confession”… He is 40, so I’m going to assume that he knows what he is talking about and he IS baptized.

ibkc - I understand. I told the Priest, I’ve done X too many times to count. Said it over and over again, with each sin.

You will feel wonderful and will experience God’s grace like never before!

Welcome home!

 

[ASimpleSinner]

I am preparing for my first confession. I am over 40 and have lived a less than Christian life for much of that time, and I have a lot to sort through.

I am an alcoholic. For a long time, before I acknowledged this, I would go out with friends and get trashed to the point of mental obliteration or close to it. Under that influence I did a lot of things that I would never, ever have done had I been sober: hard drugs and fornication. This went on for far too long. Are the sins I committed under the influence mortal sins and do I need to make a long list for my first confession? Is the biggest sin the uncontrolled alcoholism and putting myself in the position of sinning? For what it’s worth, I am a wife and mother now, and even though those days are long behind me, not a day goes by that I don’t regret deeply how much time I wasted and how much spiritual damage I inflicted on myself.
Any direction here is appreciated.

You just described about a 10-year window of my life… That being the case I can say with some confidence that it is time to put the regret in the PAST with what was regrettable. After that first confession it will be forgotten. My priest scolded me once in confession (not too harshly - we are friends) but he said

“You need to give up the decadence of your guilt and regret - you have been forgiven, and every minute you spend with regret and angst is a minute you AREN’T thanking God you are back - and that is what is important now, that is your focus. Let the past take care of the past, just leave it all back there.”

So after that first confession, leave the past in the past.

Welcome home.

 

[turtle18]

You are looking at alcoholism from a psychological standpoint, not a moral & spiritual one. Just because one has a “disease” that doesn’t excuse their actions. If a man is drunk and commits rape (which happens quite often) does that lessen his sin? If a man/woman is drunk and kills another human being because of drinking and driving, would that lessen the sin?
When you are confessing, it’s best not to make excuses for your actions and instead just beg God for mercy. There could have been a millions reasons why you have done something, but you are not there to explain it, just to ask forgiveness. He knows why you did it.
Oh, by the way I used to have a problem with alcohol. I didn’t consider it a disease–it was a weakness. I have had several physical disease and there is no comparison.

 

[ibkc]

You are looking at alcoholism from a psychological standpoint, not a moral & spiritual one. Just because one has a “disease” that doesn’t excuse their actions.

Well no,
Actually I tend to believe as you do, as a general rule, regarding alcoholism and the things I did. Last week we had our RCIA class on Reconciliation, and Father said some things about the specifics of what is a mortal sin and what is not, that I simply felt needed clarification. I was embarrassed to ask in front of the class, that I admit. But rest assured that the answers given here were clear enough for me to understand that I should just to confess it all and not attempt to guess what I do and don’t “need” to confess. Thanks for your concern and your advice.