I apologize in advance for the long story, but I feel it’s necessary. So today I went to confession after maybe 12-14 years. I was extremely nervous. The confession was from 6-7pm. Of course, I was stuck at work late, and had to rush there, and didn’t arrive till 6:20. I arrive, and there is a huge line of people, with only one priest. So I start praying to myself, and thinking of my sins. Behind me, a woman is complaining about people taking too long. She asks whens the last time I was at confession, I tell her a long time, and she rolls her eyes. Now I should add I did pick this church because I wanted to go somewhere where the priest wouldn’t know me, or me even know the priest. It’s about 7pm now, and people are piling in for the mass. The celebrant of the mass heads over to us, and picks me and a few others to go to the other confessional with him. This rattles me a bit because my anonymity is now out the window. Add to the fact that everyone is waiting for mass to begin, so now I feel very rushed. I confess my biggest sins, but I forget a bunch I had written down. I confessed “any sins I may have forgotten”. My question is, are those sins now forgiven, given the situation I was in. Or is that all irrelevant?
I am afraid you confronted what is a perfect storm! I am sorry. This is a reason why, personally, I try not to do what was done to you. If I am helping a brother priest, I prefer to simply go into the confessional and, if he has to stop hearing in order to celebrate Mass, allow him to tell those still waiting that I am in the other confessional or I wait and take his place but without engaging the penitents who are waiting.
Yes…as a priest of a great many years, I know that we can unwittingly underestimate how fragile someone can be. We can’t tell, seeing someone in a line, if they confess weekly or haven’t confessed in 40 years. And even the one confessing weekly can be addled if we do something they are not suspecting, like surprising them as you were surprised.
This is the beginning of a difficult moment relative to confession…many people are wanting to confess before Holy Week. Lines grow longer and so can the confessions, especially for those who are confessing only seasonally or annually. And the clock keeps ticking.
By God’s grace, you were at least in a parish with more than one priest and so there was more than one hearing confessions and the confessor did not have to send away those who had not yet confessed because there was no one else to offer Mass.
It is understandable that the perceived loss of your anonymity – though I doubt to the priest who tapped you on the shoulder you were any less anonymous than if he hadn’t glimpsed you at all – plus changing to another confession line threw you since you were already ill at ease and the woman’s comments could have only set you further on edge.
Since you had the intention to confess, your sins are absolved including those you forgot to mention, given the combination of circumstances. What you remember of what you did not have the chance to confess, you can mention whenever you next happen to go to confession.
As a priest now retired, personally I still make a list when I myself go to confession. It saves me from the senior moments I am having more and more frequently but it always helped to keep me on track. I would recommend it to you, as a gentle way to recover, should what you want to say go out of your mind…especially if you might have a number of things to say.
Another gentle thought…you may wish to do your examination of conscience more methodically than what standing in the penitents’ line typically affords, especially if the confession is covering a period of years. Trying to sort all of that out and then keep the list in the memory would be a challenge in the best of circumstance…which, sadly, was not your lot in this instance. Surely it will be better the next time. God bless you.
