Another confession question

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Charliesj

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I’m getting into the final stretch here before being received into the Catholic Church at Easter vigil. I just have another quick question regarding the sacrament of reconciliation.
I went for the first time a few weeks ago and was extremely nervous, I had read a examination of conscience beforehand but being my first confession (and having went off the rails morally in my 20s) I had quite a few big sins to get off my chest first. When I sat down with the priest I got so nervous that I forgot half of the sins I wanted to confess, only remembering them when he was almost finished with the prayer of absolution. Since English is a second language for this priest and it was my first time I was not sure if I should interrupt him or not. After I walked out of the confessional I remembered several more sins o had forgotten. Mass was about to start and the line was so long that most didn’t get to confess because the confessor was the mass celebrant and had to get ready for mass. This was after our Rcia Lenten retreat and so I was attending mass with the group. I asked a few people and they said I was fine but to mention the Sins at my next confession. So I decided I’d return the next week for another go.
The next time I came back I wrote down what I had forgot and mentioned to the priest what had happened and then began my confession. I felt way better after this second round of confession. But then I realized, after reading a 10 commandments based examination, that I’ve failed to keep these commandments in many ways. Just the 1st commandment alone breaks down into many separate sins.

So all that backstory just to get to this question;
Do I need to go thru the examination again and confess these sins going back to my baptism (31 years ago) or just go thru the examination and confess any failings since my last confession (last week), basically I’m not sure if a lot of these are mortal or venial sins and what my obligation is here.
Thanks for the help
 
Your correct that we are to confess all our mortal sins if we have any (in number and kind).

Venial sins need not be confessed. But it is good to do so.

So what if you forget a mortal sin?

The fact that you were repentant and intending to confess all your mortal sins - that forgotten sin (or sins) is forgiven. Indirectly* absolved *along with the rest.

You are still obliged to confess it in the next confession - (I forgot …). (Just what was omitted by mistake).

But one may approach Holy Communion in the meantime.

The Priest can always help you in confession - welcome home!
 
Charliesj said:
But then I realized, after reading a 10 commandments based examination, that I’ve failed to keep these commandments in many ways. Just the 1st commandment alone breaks down into many separate sins.

So all that backstory just to get to this question;
Do I need to go thru the examination again and confess these sins going back to my baptism (31 years ago) or just go thru the examination and confess any failings since my last confession (last week), basically I’m not sure if a lot of these are mortal or venial sins and what my obligation is here.
Thanks for the help
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I think the others answered your questions but I just wanted to give you a 👍 and some support. First, welcome home. Second, I just did a thorough examination of conscience based on the the 10 commandments as well and it was pretty intense and took me a couple of hours, and no, you’re not alone in being unsure about mortal or venial.

I take utmost comfort in knowing God does know my heart (and we had quite the chat during that examination!), so that if I unintentionally omit something when I go to confession tomorrow, it will be okay. I admit, though Catholic for awhile, this was my first time going thru a detailed examination and taking the time to do it properly - quite the eye-opener!

God bless you on this journey to Him!

CJ
 
Charliesj said:
Thanks for the help. But I’m not sure I’m communicating my concern properly.
Really it’s the examination of conscience that in confused about. In this one there are several questions in each line. Am I supposed to answer each one and then relay that to the priest or use it to gather a general sense of where I’ve failed God? usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/sacraments-and-sacramentals/penance/sacrament-reconciliation-married-persons-examination-of-conscience.cfm
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No, you don’t need to answer each question and relay your answer to the priest. The examination of conscience is a tool for prompting your memory, to help you remember sins. Therefore, just take note of all sins that come to mind as you read the examination of conscience “help-sheet”.

I would suggest writing down the sins that you think of as you do your examination. It helps you when you are nervous in the confessional, so that you do not forget anything. Not mandatory, but certainly a very useful option.
 
I used to write down my sins, until and old bishop told me not to do that. That I am not obliged to write down my sins and that I should burn that paper.

When going to confession, make a good examination. You will notice that there are different questions under different examinations (they are not all the same… some go into lots and lots of details other do not). The purpose of this is to make it easier for you to be better prepared. And no, you don’t have to anwser to the priest all the questions given to you by the examination formular, since you will most likely not even memorise all that. You only have to tell you mortal sins. But you are advised to tell also the venial (as much as you can recall), because this is the Sacrament of Forgivenes AND also HEALING.

Start with your mortal sins. The kind and the number. Sometimes it’s good to be a bit more specific as in let’s say “I commited a sin of impurity, 10 times”… what kind of sin of impurity? Are they all of the same kind?

This is where all those questions come in - from the examination.
Example:
IMPURITY
  • Did you watch pornography? (no)
  • Did you commit adultery? (no)
  • Did you willfully entertain impure thoughts? (yikes, I didn’t know that was a sin).
I hope my anwser helps. Pardon me, for my bad english.

God bless you. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you through the examination. And if you forget a sin, even if a mortal, it’s forgiven, so don’t be too scrupulus about it. Just mention it the next time you go to confession… And let the priest know that you forgot to mention it. It happens. And it’s forgiven. But we are obliged to tell the priest that we FORGOT to mention it, the next time we go to confession.

I’m very happy for you. Welcome to THE Church!
 
By the way, if you do deceide to write down the sins. Really, make sure you total destroy the paper, RIGHT AFTER YOU LEAVE THE CHURCH. And get rid of it. Believe me, I’ve had a bad experience with puting it in my pocket, and forgetting it is there.

God bless.

You are in my prayers tonight.
 
Charliesj said:
Thanks for the help. But I’m not sure I’m communicating my concern properly.
Really it’s the examination of conscience that in confused about. In this one there are several questions in each line. Am I supposed to answer each one and then relay that to the priest or use it to gather a general sense of where I’ve failed God? usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/sacraments-and-sacramentals/penance/sacrament-reconciliation-married-persons-examination-of-conscience.cfm
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At its most profound and true, the examination of conscience is where the individual looks within himself to discover those things which he has done – or which he has failed to do – that would go against the moral order and therefore not be in harmony with the relationship that should exist between God and the soul. One places oneself in the presence of God to accomplish the exercise, conscious of wanting to remove any obstacle between God and the soul. It is a profoundly individual exercise since it is based upon actions and inactions in individual choices and the knowledge and freedom that a person had at the time the moral choices were made. As time passes, as one does it regularly, and as the exercise becomes more familiar and routine – and as one grows in the spiritual life – it becomes easier and more natural.

Of course, one looks to the ten commandments and to the Beatitudes which Jesus proclaimed in the Sermon on the Mount. One can look also, for example, to the seven capital sins or to the theological and cardinal virtues. Fundamentally, when one is new and growing in the faith, one can look to the Catechism and its section on the moral life for the fonts to which one turns and against which one would examine oneself.

One finds various published examination of conscience aids, such as the one you cite published by the National Conference of Catholic Bishops of the United States. These are meant to help the individual and one can rightly find some more useful than others. This particular one, however, can be less suited for you, coming into full communion with the Church as you are since, as but one example, you are not bound by laws that are purely ecclesiastical until you actually are in full communion…so questions specific about Mass attendance do not apply to you at all, although the more general obligation of keeping holy the Lord’s day would, since it is part of the ten commandments.

Above all, remember that for a sin to be serious, (1) the matter must itself be serious, (2) you have to know that it is serious at the time you did it, and (3) you had to freely consent to it.

In examining your conscience, if you sincerely do not know if the sin was serious, then by that very fact you cannot be guilty of serious sin.

From the perspective of moral theology, one cannot inadvertently be guilty of a mortal sin…although one can commit an act that is, objectively, seriously wrong. This is why in the examination of conscience, one needs to apply the criteria I mentioned above and specifically the second point: did you know at the time that it was serious?

It is only serious sin that one is obliged to mention in Confession together with some reference to number. Of course, when one is talking about years or of matters from years long past, one is invariably talking in terms of approximation.

No…it is not necessary to return to your examination of conscience and start anew from the beginning. Rather, you start from the point that all your sins, those you remembered and those you forgot, were absolved in the confession that you made. If you subsequently remember serious sins that you forgot to mention, they can be simply brought to confession the next time that you regularly receive the sacrament…there is no need to explicitly seek it out since the sins are already absolved.

Those of us who have been hearing confessions for many years are glad to help a penitent who is coming into the Church and who is making their confession, sometimes covering decades, so do not be hesitant to ask the priest who is hearing your confession for help in any area in which you feel uncertain.
 
I joined the Church last Easter, so I understand a bit of what you’re going through.

If you remember unconfessed mortal sins, you should confess them in your next confession. If you’re not sure if they are mortal or venial, just confess them. I still am highly confused on mortal vs. venial- I understand the conditions, but honestly just wish there were a list somewhere of what sins are mortal- so I just confess everything when I go to confession. I let the priest sort out whether he thinks something was mortal or not.

I do two things to prepare for confession. One, every time I become aware that I have sinned, I write it down. So let’s say I’m having a discussion with a co-worker and find I’ve badmouthed my boss and the Spirit convicts me of it- I write it down. For me, it’s just a note I keep in my phone. Then when I sit down to do my examination of conscience, I open up that note and I also do the 99 Questions or the 10 Commandments Examen or iConfess or Laudate…I switch it up. I pray for the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and then answer the questions. When one of the questions reminds me of a sin I’ve committed since my last confession, I add it to my list. I transfer my list to paper, and take the paper with me. I know some people don’t recommend that, but I go blank when I’m nervous and I’d forget half my sins if I didn’t take the paper with me. Father knows I do it because I confess face to face and he has not told me not to do it- I was told by one priest only to make sure I didn’t lose it, and I destroy it when I get home.
 
AKDee said:
I transfer my list to paper, and take the paper with me. I know some people don’t recommend that, but I go blank when I’m nervous and I’d forget half my sins if I didn’t take the paper with me. Father knows I do it because I confess face to face and he has not told me not to do it- I was told by one priest only to make sure I didn’t lose it, and I destroy it when I get home.
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It’s perfectly fine to make a list. I have been hearing confessions for decades but still make my list when I go to confession myself. It saves me from my increasingly frequent senior moments and it spares the one I am confessing from hearing “Ummm” needlessly in the face of a memory lapse.
 
Ok so I’m feeling a little better now. Because I read an examination on my phone and the answer to almost every question was a yes, but not since my last confession so I didn’t know if I had to confess all these sins going back years or just next time I’m in the confessional answer them since my last confession.
Thanks for all your answers
 
I transfer my list to paper, and take the paper with me.
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I do this every time I go to confession. It puts me at ease knowing I will not forget anything.
 
If you have confessed the big ones - the most serious sins, then don’t worry about it. As Don Ruggero wrote, if you were not aware something was a serious matter, then it could not have possibly been a mortal sin, and you are only obligated to enumerate your mortal sins.

My only concern would be that you feel comfortable going into confirmation that you have confessed the most serious of your past sins. When you look back, do you feel you made a good confession? If so, then rest easy. If something is bothering you, then by all means, go to confession again.
 
AKDee said:
I do two things to prepare for confession. One, every time I become aware that I have sinned, I write it down. So let’s say I’m having a discussion with a co-worker and find I’ve badmouthed my boss and the Spirit convicts me of it- I write it down. For me, it’s just a note I keep in my phone. Then when I sit down to do my examination of conscience, I open up that note and I also do the 99 Questions or the 10 Commandments Examen or iConfess or Laudate…I switch it up. I pray for the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and then answer the questions. When one of the questions reminds me of a sin I’ve committed since my last confession, I add it to my list. I transfer my list to paper, and take the paper with me. I know some people don’t recommend that, but I go blank when I’m nervous and I’d forget half my sins if I didn’t take the paper with me. Father knows I do it because I confess face to face and he has not told me not to do it- I was told by one priest only to make sure I didn’t lose it, and I destroy it when I get home.
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I basically do what you do. I have a note on my phone where I make note of sins as soon as I’m aware of the sin. Then before confession I do an examination of conscience and note any sins I forgot. My note also contains some habitual sins that I almost always can confess. My note also has an act of contrition. I know that act but though it has lessened I still get nervous in confession. I actually just use my phone note in confession itself. After confession I delete the sins from the note.

For my first confession last year I used a paper list and burnt it afterwards. That seems fitting for the first confession but I think the phone note works well now.
 
Charliesj said:
Ok so I’m feeling a little better now. Because I read an examination on my phone and the answer to almost every question was a yes, but not since my last confession so I didn’t know if I had to confess all these sins going back years or just next time I’m in the confessional answer them since my last confession.
Thanks for all your answers
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I know the feeling - when I entered into full communion with the Church my confession was not I suppose how it ought to have been (I later discovered). Not that it was not a “good confession” or that I was not absolved - for I was intending to make a good confession to confess what I was to confess - but there were some things I did not realize regarding confession.

It was though a joy when I was absolved! Jesus forgiving my sins and renewing me as a new creation in him. I have now always loved confession and go every week.

And I imagine some things I confessed did not need to be confessed - for my true lack of knowledge of their evil in years past. For even if something is grave matter - it can still be the case that one did not commit a mortal sin due to the lack of knowledge etc (of course there are many things we can know are serious without calling them by technical theological language).

But getting back to any forgotten mortal sins - that is not to worry one or make one feel not forgiven or that one has to run now back to confession.

If one forgets a *mortal sin *- an actual mortal sin - then we are not to fret - for we have been forgiven. We are just obliged to confess it in the next confession that we go to. It happens - and has happened for centuries - no worries.

I will cut this out from Jimmy Akin’s response about forgotten mortal sins that I linked above (for not everyone likes to click links and follow them - I know I myself do not often do so) (second post)-(also see the other regarding when we “suddenly remember” during the absolution) :

Jimmy Akin is the senior apologist at Catholic Answers (with emphasis):

“You are forgiven if you meant to confess all your mortal sins and just forgot one. Having been forgiven of the one you forgot, you are still obligated to confess it the next time you go to confession. It’s not that your forgiveness of it is conditional on you adopting the intention to confess it next time. *That sin has already been forgiven. *It’s that you incur a new sin if you refuse to adopt the intention of confessing it.” ~Jimmy Akin

jimmyakin.com/2006/09/a_reader_writes_1.html

The Priest in confession can guide you as you continue to learn and live the Sacrament.

As a convert myself I say again - welcome home! Have a splendid next three days (Triduum).

And* rejoice* in the mercy and love of Jesus Christ of Nazareth!
 
Charliesj said:
Ok so I’m feeling a little better now. Because I read an examination on my phone and the answer to almost every question was a yes, but not since my last confession so I didn’t know if I had to confess all these sins going back years or just next time I’m in the confessional answer them since my last confession.
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I too am a “convert” and found I had to learn more after I entered the Church about confession - it can be a rather new experience to say the least.

It was though a joy when I was absolved! Jesus forgiving my sins and renewing me as a new creation in him. I have now always loved confession and go every week. What a gift!

And I imagine some things I confessed back then did not need to be confessed - for my true lack of knowledge of their evil in years past. For even if something is grave matter - it can still be the case that one did not commit a mortal sin due to the lack of knowledge etc (of course there are many things we can know are serious without calling them by technical theological language).

Forgetting a mortal sin - especially in the nervousness of ones first confession can happen!! And does. That is not to worry one or make one feel not forgiven or that one has to run now back to confession.

If one forgets a mortal sin - an actual mortal sin that was committed - then we are not to fret - for we have been forgiven. We are just obliged to confess it in the next confession that we go to. It happens - and has happened for centuries - no worries.

I will cut this out from Jimmy Akin’s response about forgotten mortal sins that I linked above (for not everyone likes to click links and follow them - I know I myself do not often do so) (second post)-(also see the other regarding when we “suddenly remember” during the absolution) :

Jimmy Akin is the senior staff apologist at Catholic Answers -and a convert himself too (with emphasis):

“You are forgiven if you meant to confess all your mortal sins and just forgot one. Having been forgiven of the one you forgot, you are still obligated to confess it the next time you go to confession. It’s not that your forgiveness of it is conditional on you adopting the intention to confess it next time. *That sin has already been forgiven. *It’s that you incur a new sin if you refuse to adopt the intention of confessing it.” ~Jimmy Akin

jimmyakin.com/2006/09/a_reader_writes_1.html

The Priest in confession can guide you as you continue to learn and live the Sacrament.

As a convert myself I say again - welcome home! Have a splendid next three days (Triduum).

And* rejoice* in the mercy and love of Jesus Christ of Nazareth!
 
Bookcat said:
From Jimmy Akin (senior Apologist at Catholic Answers):

jimmyakin.com/2009/12/what-if-you-suddenly-remember-in-confession.html

jimmyakin.com/2006/09/a_reader_writes_1.html
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I know often readers do not click on links (I know I do not often) so I thought instead of just linking them I would cut short bits from the the above two links that relate to the questions (save on reading the whole thing too -but the whole is good as well):

Both are from ~ Jimmy Akin (Catholic Answers Senior Staff apologist)

From the first one addresses what do you do if the Priest is giving you absolution and you suddenly remember a mortal sin:

“4) During the formula of absolution. If the penitent remembers at this time then he should not stop the priest for the additional confession. He would be interrupting the form of the sacrament, and that shouldn’t be done any more than interrupting the formula of baptism or the formula of consecration of the Eucharist. He should save it for next time.”

From the second one:

“You are forgiven if you meant to confess all your mortal sins and just forgot one. Having been forgiven of the one you forgot, you are still obligated to confess it the next time you go to confession. It’s not that your forgiveness of it is conditional on you adopting the intention to confess it next time. That sin has already been forgiven. It’s that you incur a new sin if you refuse to adopt the intention of confessing it.”
 
I too am a “convert” and found I had to learn more after I entered the Church about confession - it can be a rather new experience to say the least.

It was though a joy when I was absolved! Jesus forgiving my sins and renewing me as a new creation in him. I have now always loved confession and go every week. What a gift!

To the OP - The Priest in confession can guide you as you continue to learn and live the Sacrament.

As a convert myself I say again - welcome home!

Have a splendid next three days (Triduum).

And* rejoice* in the mercy and love of Jesus Christ of Nazareth! In* true life* in him!
 
DAML72 said:
If you have confessed the big ones - the most serious sins, then don’t worry about it. As Don Ruggero wrote, if you were not aware something was a serious matter, then it could not have possibly been a mortal sin, and you are only obligated to enumerate your mortal sins.

My only concern would be that you feel comfortable going into confirmation that you have confessed the most serious of your past sins. When you look back, do you feel you made a good confession? If so, then rest easy. If something is bothering you, then by all means, go to confession again.
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I feel like I’ve confessed the big ones that I knew then and know now were/are mortal sins. The thing I’m still struggling with is that in my past life (before joining Rcia and making a serious commitment to Christ) I committed lots of sins that I’m not sure if they are mortal or not, I was pretty sure they weren’t but then seen them on lots of examination of consciences, and then didn’t know. Mostly they are sins of omission, things like “did I fail to put God first” and “did I fail to treat another human as a person instead of an object to use”. It’s easier to fall into sin by not doing something than by actively doing it, but my previous lukewarm version of Protestantism I didn’t know acts of omission could even be a sin. I was also under the impression that all the things listed in the examinations were mortal so that’s what really had me worried. I think going forward I’ll do the examine as of my last confession and not keep going back in the past.
Thanks for putting my mind at ease
 
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