Another Confirmation Retreat Question

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maryjk

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Okay, this is the year for my son’s Confirmation. They are having an overnight retreat. I am having a really hard time with it. Here is why:

It is overnight and co-ed. I wouldn’t allow my son to attend an overnight camp out or party at this age, if it was co-ed.

There are more than 60 students going. About 20 of them have shown in the past that are not trustworthy. There was a lock in that had many problems. They have had many behavior problems in the JCYO group.

There is an extensive Parental Consent form, that not only releases everyone of any liability, it also requires ME to defend them against any lawsuit and pay attorney fees for them if someone holds them libel.

It is Mandatory for Confirmation and will cost almost $100. I know they are not charging for confirmation. I know that the money pays for the trip. BUT, by making it mandatory and charging, it looks like they are charging for the Sacrament.

I don’t know how to get over this. Or if I need to. Am I being over protective? Or just a normal parent?
 
Perhaps you can ask if they’ll be chaperoned at night.

When I did this thing at church, they separated the boys and girls at night. The girls talked about God knows what and us boys… Well we told guy jokes. That’s usually how it goes.
 
Call the Diocese and ask for a copy of the guidelines for overnight youth retreats as well as a copy of the standard required release and consent form. They will provide you with these.

Having chaperoned many overnight youth retreats, I will give you an idea of what I know our requirements to be. Boys and girls sleep in areas that are separated by walls and doors (no “let’s all sleep on the gym floor girls on this side of the line” kinda mess). There must be good number of chaperones, no kids are permitted to be off alone, etc. If you have seen events that are poorly chaperoned, take it to your Priest before this event.

There should also be scholarships avaliable for those who cannot spend that kind of money.
 
kage_ar said:
Call the Diocese and ask for a copy of the guidelines for overnight youth retreats as well as a copy of the standard required release and consent form. They will provide you with these.
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I will do that on Monday. I never thought about that.
Having chaperoned many overnight youth retreats, I will give you an idea of what I know our requirements to be. Boys and girls sleep in areas that are separated by walls and doors (no “let’s all sleep on the gym floor girls on this side of the line” kinda mess). There must be good number of chaperons, no kids are permitted to be off alone, etc. If you have seen events that are poorly chaperoned, take it to your Priest before this event.
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How many do you think is a good number, for an overnight? I know it should be higher than a day trip or a classroom.
There should also be scholarships avaliable for those who cannot spend that kind of money.
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There are. I have already spoken to the leader. And we have worked something out. I am just thinking that in today’s economy, the church should be looking at something that doesn’t cost so much. Is an overnight really something that should be mandatory for Confirmation? I don’t think so. I know some parents are willing to spend hundreds of dollars to send their child for band trips or whatever. Not me. I see no reason for a preteen or young teen to go on an overnight.
 
We’re not big on co-ed overnighters. The only exception was Confirmation retreat. Guys and girls were in rooms on separate floors.

I also went along as a chaperone/ small group leader. I generally had a good time and liked knowing what my kids were hearing.
 
from the perspective of a mom who has several confirmed kids, also from the perspective of a confirmation catechist and finally from my newest perspective as DRE, and given your description of the history of this group, i think you’re right to be concerned.

if you’re still not comfortable after you’ve researched a little more, propose several retreat options to the DRE for your kid.

it may take a little digging, but you should be able to find some guided retreat center or religious order within driving distance. it may be cheaper, too.
 
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