Another Confused Pagan

[chymaiera]

Hi all,

I’m looking for some insight on a situation that has presented itself. I am a pagan (wiccan if you like) and my significant other is of the Byzantine/Roman Catholic faith. We have been trying to reach a happy medium between our faiths without success. Let me clarify first that I have no issues with his belief, our problem apparently is his interpretation of the bible that “a believer cannot be wed to a non-believer” sorry I can’t quote book and chapter since I am not familiar with the Catholic bible. Anyway, we have been trying to find a way around these apparent ‘scriptural’ references that keep me from being ‘accepted’ into the fold so to speak with little luck and losts of frustration. So my first question is can anyone tell me which bible Catholics ‘live’ by? I thought that maybe if I picked one up and tried to read through it I might have a better understanding of why he is having such a difficult time with the differences in our beliefs. As for a second question… is it unrealistic that a Catholic and Wiccan can be a happy, functional couple?

Thanks for any insight
~Chymaiera~

 

[MarcoPolo]

Hello, Chymaiera, perhaps this post by 1ke will help:

The first step will be to make an appointment with the priest because the marriage preparation process is diocese-specific and the priest will handle the process for obtaining a dispensation to marry a non-Catholic.

That said, mixed marriage is an unwise endeavor, and anyone contemplating it should think twice about entering into such a marriage.

The relevant sources would be:

Canon Law

the Encyclical On Mixed Marriage

The Encyclical vatican.va/holy_father/pius_xi/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-xi_enc_31121930_casti-connubii_en.html

and an article from Our Sunday Visitor on mixed marriage

As to an official Catholic Bible…the Church uses the Latin Vulgate, so unless you read Latin, I recommend the RSV-CE (Catholic Edition), the New American Bible (which is the one used at mass), or the Douay-Rheims Bible (which is the first English translation from the 17th century). Also, remember, there are things in Scripture that are hard to understand, and if you want an official Catholic take on the matter, it’s best to read through some of the documents above. Hope you are lead well by God! Take care.

 

[ricmat]

Hi all,

I’m looking for some insight on a situation that has presented itself. I am a pagan (wiccan if you like) and my significant other is of the Byzantine/Roman Catholic faith. We have been trying to reach a happy medium between our faiths without success. Let me clarify first that I have no issues with his belief, our problem apparently is his interpretation of the bible that “a believer cannot be wed to a non-believer” sorry I can’t quote book and chapter since I am not familiar with the Catholic bible. Anyway, we have been trying to find a way around these apparent ‘scriptural’ references that keep me from being ‘accepted’ into the fold so to speak with little luck and losts of frustration. So my first question is can anyone tell me which bible Catholics ‘live’ by? I thought that maybe if I picked one up and tried to read through it I might have a better understanding of why he is having such a difficult time with the differences in our beliefs. As for a second question… is it unrealistic that a Catholic and Wiccan can be a happy, functional couple?

Thanks for any insight
~Chymaiera~

Rather than a scriptural reference, you might want to look at the CCC (Catechism of the Catholic Church). It’s on line, and the paragraphs that seem to be of direct interest to you are these:

Mixed marriages and disparity of cult
1633 In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection.

1634 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.137 In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.138 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.139
http://javascript<b></b>:openWindow('cr/1636.htm');

1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple’s obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.

1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."140 It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this “consecration” should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.141 Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.

Here is the main link to the whole catechism.

scborromeo.org/ccc.htm

I am Catholic, and my wife was Buddhist when we were married. She is now Catholic, and we just celebrated our 30th anniversary. So there is hope for you, but not a certain outcome…

 

[Ruthie]

Welcome to the Forums!

For your first question, the specific passage is this: “Do not be mismated with unbelievers. For what partnership have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? ****What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? ****What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God…” (2nd Corinthians 6:14-16 RSV) Be sure to read all of 2 Cor., so you can put it in context. The Bible wasn’t broken down into chapters and verses until the 8th century or so; Paul wrote the letter as a unified whole.

Marco Polo gave a good answer on the 3 Catholic Bibles available in English. (As you can see from the above, I prefer the RSV. The other two abbreviations are DRB and NAB.)

For your second question, I think it’s a matter of conscience. I don’t know what your specific beliefs are. Here are some important things where your consciences will need to agree.

There are three requirements for a Catholic marriage: indissolubility, fidelity, and openness to new life.

Indissolubility means forever. You can’t go into the marriage with the idea that you can always get a divorce if it doesn’t work out.

Fidelity means one man and one woman, and no cheating. I’ve heard (and of course I don’t know if this applies to you) that some Pagans think sex outside of marriage is just fine. If you agree to that, don’t marry a Catholic.

Openness to new life means you can’t decide to never have children. It means no artificial birth control, though spacing children by natural means (using our God-given fertility cycles) is OK. Note that infertile people can marry; it’s the *choice *to have no children that is wrong.

Last, but definitely not least, is that your husband must promise to do his best to raise the children Catholic. This is where grief frequently arises. It’s pretty easy to say that it’s OK with you, but… It’s not a cliche to say that when the first baby arrives, everything changes. It will suddenly become very important to each of you for your child to grow up in the right faith.

If you and your boyfriend can’t come to an agreement about these, then I wouldn’t recommend marrying.

Oh, some advice about reading the Bible: Start with the New Testament. Beginning with the Old Testament is kind of like slogging through a desert, mostly. You might read Genesis, and the story in Exodus. Most of the rest is a bunch of rules, and prophecies, that won’t make sense until you read the NT. (And even then, you might need a good teacher. I sure did!)

A great place for questions about the Bible is the Apologetics forum, in the Sacred Scripture sub-forum. But this is also a good one.

I’ve also heard that Catholicism For Dummies is a great intro to the Church. I haven’t read it myself, though.

God bless you,

Ruthie

 

[Pax_Vobiscum_57]

Hi all,

. As for a second question… is it unrealistic that a Catholic and Wiccan can be a happy, functional couple?

Thanks for any insight
~Chymaiera~

For the reasons stated in the above posts, yes. I have a Catholic friend who was married to a Wiccan for nearly 12 years. They are now divorced because she would not have children if they had to be raised Catholic.

 

[M_Oliver]

A very misunderstood topic…

bible-truths.com/yoked.htm

 

[1ke]

We have been trying to reach a happy medium between our faiths without success.

There is no “happy medium” between your faiths. They are different. They are mutually exclusive, actually.

A believer who is willing to find a “happy medium” isn’t much of a believer.

Let me clarify first that I have no issues with his belief, our problem apparently is his interpretation of the bible that “a believer cannot be wed to a non-believer”

Yes, this is true. The verse you are looking for is 2 Corinithians 6:14-18

In fact, a Catholic requires special permission from the Bishop to marry a non-Christian.

Anyway, we have been trying to find a way around these apparent ‘scriptural’ references that keep me from being ‘accepted’ into the fold so to speak with little luck and losts of frustration.

I’m sure you believe you are in love and that love can “conquer all.” But, this is not the case. The Faith, for a Christian, is central to their being. Religious division in the household is a very serious thing.

Do you not want a spouse with whom you share your belief and faith practice? Do you not want to build a home on unity of belief and practice? This is not possible for you two.

So my first question is can anyone tell me which bible Catholics ‘live’ by?

I’m not sure what you mean by “which bible.” If you are looking online, go to the USCCB website. There is a Catholic bible online there. An authorized Catholic version can be found online or in Catholic bookstores.

I thought that maybe if I picked one up and tried to read through it I might have a better understanding of why he is having such a difficult time with the differences in our beliefs.

That is a very good idea. Although, the bible is quite a large collection of books and might be difficult to understand without any background.

For a synthesis of Catholic teaching, written in a logical order you would be much better off getting a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church and reading it through. It’s online here. But, I really recommend getting a hardcopy b/c it has footnotes and scripture references and it’s easier than trying to read it online.

As for a second question… is it unrealistic that a Catholic and Wiccan can be a happy, functional couple?

In my opinion, yes.

Thanks for any insight
~Chymaiera~

I think it’s great that you are searching out answers to these types of questions.

Your boyfriend is being realistic. There is a very huge chasm between you two. Pretending it isn’t there will not help.

I would not want to be married to someone who did not share my beliefs, my faith practice, and want to raise a family with that faith no matter *what *faith I was-- Catholic, Jewish, Wiccan, or Atheist.

Too much strife will tear a marriage apart. And, religious differences can bring nothing but strife. It is extremely serious.

 

[CHESTERTONRULES]

Hi all,

I’m looking for some insight on a situation that has presented itself. I am a pagan (wiccan if you like) and my significant other is of the Byzantine/Roman Catholic faith. We have been trying to reach a happy medium between our faiths without success. Let me clarify first that I have no issues with his belief, our problem apparently is his interpretation of the bible that “a believer cannot be wed to a non-believer” sorry I can’t quote book and chapter since I am not familiar with the Catholic bible. Anyway, we have been trying to find a way around these apparent ‘scriptural’ references that keep me from being ‘accepted’ into the fold so to speak with little luck and losts of frustration. So my first question is can anyone tell me which bible Catholics ‘live’ by? I thought that maybe if I picked one up and tried to read through it I might have a better understanding of why he is having such a difficult time with the differences in our beliefs. As for a second question… is it unrealistic that a Catholic and Wiccan can be a happy, functional couple?

Thanks for any insight
~Chymaiera~

I’m curious, how is it that you reject Catholicism without being familiar with the teachings of Catholicism?

 

[chymaiera]

A believer who is willing to find a “happy medium” isn’t much of a believer…

I disagree with this, I believe that a balance can be reached by focusing on the common factors within beliefs and respecting the differences.

I’m sure you believe you are in love and that love can “conquer all.” …

I do not believe that love conquers all, but I feel that intelligent people can accomplish amazing feats without compromissing their beliefs if they are willing to put forth the effort to do so.

I’m not sure what you mean by “which bible.” …

There are so many bibles available, I just needed to be pointed in the right direction as to which version the Catholic faith referred to when offering up their teachings. I had called a couple of local Catholic churchs and could not get a straight answer as to which one so I could pick it up, it was very frustrating.

For a synthesis of Catholic teaching, written in a logical order you would be much better off getting a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church and reading it through. …

Thank you for this piece of advice.

I think it’s great that you are searching out answers to these types of questions…

Knowledge is strength, whatever the source.

Your boyfriend is being realistic. There is a very huge chasm between you two. Pretending it isn’t there will not help…

I don’t think the chasm is as large as it may seem, we do share more common beliefs than there are differences, I am not an extremist in my faith by any means and in all honesty probably more open minded with religious beliefs than he is.

I’m curious, how is it that you reject Catholicism without being familiar with the teachings of Catholicism?

Am I rejecting Catholicism? I didn’t think so… I am just looking for some assistance on where to start researching so that I might be able to see why we have the stumbling blocks.

There are three requirements for a Catholic marriage: indissolubility, fidelity, and openness to new life.

all of these requirements I am in agreement with

Last, but definitely not least, is that your husband must promise to do his best to raise the children Catholic. This is where grief frequently arises.

we have discussed this also, and I don’t have a problem here either, again teaching whichever faiths one might, in the end the child will eventually choose what works for him/her. Over the years I have studied many faiths/beliefs that I do not practice, I have a natural curiosity and tendancy for research. We could teach the child (providing one was born, he is 36 and I am 38) in the manner of Catholics or Wicca or both and the child might still choose another belief… free will and all.

I am Catholic, and my wife was Buddhist when we were married. She is now Catholic, and we just celebrated our 30th anniversary. So there is hope for you, but not a certain outcome…

Thank you for the ray of light, we believe that there is a way to make this work also.

Thanks everyone for all the various information, it gives me a place to start looking for answers/solutions. Any other insight would be greatly appreciated.
~Chymaiera~

 

[BlestOne]

My initial reaction is no way! I am a cradle Catholic and so was my ex. He became wiccan in his adult years… While we were married I tried very hard to be accommodating but in the end… we were too different in our beliefs for it to work.

I found that the lack of faith in God and the overabundance of faith in self was a bit too much… we have nothing that has not been granted from above. And the sheer number of “Gods” just too much… My thought was that if you have more God’s than days in the year, how do you possibly honor them? They can’t even have their own day of the year to be honored.

 

[insidemymemory]

A Catholic can be married to a non-Catholic in the church but you will have to sign an agreement to raise your children Catholic.

 

[insidemymemory]

Here’s a link from the Catholic apologists side

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=28095