Another marriage question

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rabbysmom

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I have strange situation I needed advise on. In speaking to the Sister at church today about joining RCIA I discovered that my marriage may be an issue. Both of us have only been married once. We did have a small ceremony outside of church but performed by a minister due to some older family members, some family issues etc but then we had our “big” wedding in a church a couple of months later. I have a certificate of marriage from the “original” ceremony but nothing but an invitation, etc from the 2nd, church ceremony. Does anyone know how this will be handled? Thanks!
 
Surely the church where the “big” wedding was held has records, and can confirm the wedding for you.
 
Were you both non-Catholic? My wife and I were both protestants when we were married, this is a valid marriage and the Catholic Church recognized it.
 
rabby(name removed by moderator) said:
I have strange situation I needed advise on. In speaking to the Sister at church today about joining RCIA I discovered that my marriage may be an issue. Both of us have only been married once. We did have a small ceremony outside of church but performed by a minister due to some older family members, some family issues etc but then we had our “big” wedding in a church a couple of months later. I have a certificate of marriage from the “original” ceremony but nothing but an invitation, etc from the 2nd, church ceremony. Does anyone know how this will be handled? Thanks!
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Which one was the legal one? Get your marriage license /marriage registration certificate from that one as proof you were married. Non catholics are not required to marry in a church unless your faith tradition requires that of you. As long as your husband is not a Catholic there shouldn’t be any problems with your marriage.
 
Both my husband and I are/were Non-Catholics at the time of marriage. I have the marriage liscense/certificate from that one showing that a minister married us, so hopefully that will work. The other thing I found out is that they have to send the copy of the certificate off to the Diocease to be ??annuled/approved?? then I also need to have my marriage blessed in the church at a ceremony. Does this sound right?
 
rabby(name removed by moderator) said:
Both my husband and I are/were Non-Catholics at the time of marriage. I have the marriage license/certificate from that one showing that a minister married us, so hopefully that will work. The other thing I found out is that they have to send the copy of the certificate off to the Diocese to be ??annulled/approved?? then I also need to have my marriage blessed in the church at a ceremony. Does this sound right?
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The diocese might want to briefly check for marriage defects and then place it in the Church records, but this seems to just be a formality.

I don’t think the blessing is strictly necessary for the marriage to be valid, but a simple prayer for peace and happiness. All Catholics married in the church receive a such blessing during the wedding ceremony, but only after the vows are exchanged and they are technically married. The blessing can even be repeated during occasions such as major anniversaries.
 
No, it does not sound right. As far I am aware, if you were married in any church or by any clergyman, and neither of you were Catholic at the time, then there is no need for a convalidation (sanctifying ceremony) of your marriage.
 
rabby(name removed by moderator) said:
I have strange situation I needed advise on. In speaking to the Sister at church today about joining RCIA I discovered that my marriage may be an issue. Both of us have only been married once. We did have a small ceremony outside of church but performed by a minister due to some older family members, some family issues etc but then we had our “big” wedding in a church a couple of months later. I have a certificate of marriage from the “original” ceremony but nothing but an invitation, etc from the 2nd, church ceremony. Does anyone know how this will be handled? Thanks!
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not sure I understand the question
surely you have a marriage license showing you are validly married so any “2nd ceremony” is irrelevant anyway, and invitations or photos are not proof of marriage.

as long as you were both free to marry (no previous bond), and neither was baptized Catholic so you are not bound by Catholic law on marriage, your marriage would be considered valid. The sister is just raising the possibility, since there are unanswered questions. When you have a formal interview bring your marriage documentation, as well as baptismal information if either of you were baptized in any denomination. The pastor will help you straighten this out, so don’t get discouraged.

welcome home
rabby(name removed by moderator) said:
Both my husband and I are/were Non-Catholics at the time of marriage. I have the marriage liscense/certificate from that one showing that a minister married us, so hopefully that will work. The other thing I found out is that they have to send the copy of the certificate off to the Diocease to be ??annuled/approved?? then I also need to have my marriage blessed in the church at a ceremony. Does this sound right?
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no it does not. annulment is not even on the table unless either of you has ever been married to someone else. there is to much missing information. you need to have a formal discussion with the pastor and provide all the relevant info, no point in going into it here because you need an answer specific to your own situation. I can tell you, as the person who directs RCIA, it is the pastor, not me or the “sister” who has the knowledge required to get a solid answer for you.

the biggest unanswered question: were either of you ever baptized Catholic?
 
If neither of you were Catholic at any point in your lives prior to the wedding, you will simply need to provide a copy of the marriage license for records. There is nothing counter to Canon Law and no need for any annulment/convalidation (blessing).
 
There probably won’t be any issue at all from what I understand. If you both were free to marry, then the Church considers you sacramentally married.

There would be an issue if one of you had been divorced, since the Church would have considered the first marriage to be sacramental and indissoluble. In such a case, you’d have to look into an annulment, but since that is not the case here there’s nothing to worry about on that end. Also, an annulment is a declaration that what was thought to be a marriage was in fact not one, so you should have no reason to seek one of these at all.

If either of you were Catholic and married outside the Church without a dispensation, that might also be an issue. In this case I believe you would have to have your marriage blessed. But again, it doesn’t sound as if this is the case either.

If you were just two non-Catholics who married, and then one or both of you converted there is absolutely no issue that I am aware of, whether your marriage took place in a church building or not.

Assuming I’m not just wrong, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. If you’re concerned, you can of course ask the sister (or the parish priest, for that matter), but I wouldn’t expect any difficulties.
 
So us getting married outside of a church is ok? This is making me feel much better! I’ve been sweating it this afternoon. I’m also really back and forth about which parrish to join because one is newer (the one I’ve consulted with) and does not have an RCI for Children so my 11 year old will have to have some sort of program made up for him. The other more established parrish has an RCIA and an RCIC program that meets at the same time and obviously is more organized in this department. While everyone in the newer parrish is very nice, I can’t help but to desire for my 11 year old to receive proper instruction and not be on his own. Any thoughts? I guess I should schedule a meeting with the person in charge of RCIA at the other parrish too, just to get a feel for how they would handle my situation.
 
rabby(name removed by moderator) said:
So us getting married outside of a church is ok? n.
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we don’t know and can’t answer because we don’t know the whole story
apparently you said something to the Sister which made her think you need to provide more info
please see the pastor this week so you don’t have any needless worry about this

if you can find an RCIA where the meeting time and classes for adults and children coincide it will make it easier for your family, but that can’t always happen. Make sure the RCIA director knows of all family members who will be participating.
 
Its best you sit down with the priest to make sure no issues regarding your marriage and preparing to become Catholics. I do not know the rules regarding divorce, civil marriage only, and remarriage in other Christian religions as I only know the basics for Catholics.

I am sure he will let you know if anything you need to do. I wish you well on your journey to the Catholic faith.
 
rabby(name removed by moderator) said:
So us getting married outside of a church is ok?
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As others have said, you’ll want to talk to your priest, but, since you say there was no divorce involved, even if you have to do something it wouldn’t be something that should cause you worry. (A divorce case would be more complicated.)

Welcome home, and good luck finding good instruction for yourself and your 11 year old.
 
I had an 11 year old daughter when we converted to the Catholic Church. Our parish had no RCIC program for kids, so the priest met with our daughter 1 on 1. This lasted the same time as our instruction and when it was completed our daughter joined the Church with us. This may not be the case for all situations, but they should be able to meet with your child and bring them “up to speed”.

Welcome home!!
 
I received a nice call from the Sister I spoke with on Sunday and she found out that nothing needed to be done about the marriage, not even a blessing. So I am totally set for RCIA and all they need is my baptismal certificate!! 😃 Very excited!
Stephanie
 
rabby(name removed by moderator) said:
I received a nice call from the Sister I spoke with on Sunday and she found out that nothing needed to be done about the marriage, not even a blessing. So I am totally set for RCIA and all they need is my baptismal certificate!! 😃 Very excited!
Stephanie
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That’s simply wonderful, Stephanie! Best of luck to you and your family.
 
Thank you! I hope y’all don’t mind if I continue to visit and ask questions. I really am very grateful for this forum as I have learned so much!
 
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