Another masturbation question

[clouded_coffee]

Hey guys, I know there are a fair amount of people asking questions about this topic, but I have yet to see anyone ask this yet.

For people who have struggled or continue to struggle with this problem: how many times have you given in to temptation? Does it get easier to resist temptation as you try to refrain?

I’m asking this cause lately its been REALLY hard to resist the urges. Like, I went two months without doing anything, and then I gave in and I dunno. I guess at this point I just feel kind of down and a little frustrated cause I feel like no matter what I do or how long I go without doing anything I always end up falling. So that’s why I wanted to see if anybody else has taken a long time to get over it or if I’m just a weird person haha.

 

[michaelmas]

Hey guys, I know there are a fair amount of people asking questions about this topic, but I have yet to see anyone ask this yet.

For people who have struggled or continue to struggle with this problem: how many times have you given in to temptation? Does it get easier to resist temptation as you try to refrain?

I’m asking this cause lately its been REALLY hard to resist the urges. Like, I went two months without doing anything, and then I gave in and I dunno. I guess at this point I just feel kind of down and a little frustrated cause I feel like no matter what I do or how long I go without doing anything I always end up falling. So that’s why I wanted to see if anybody else has taken a long time to get over it or if I’m just a weird person haha.

Masturbation is more addictive then Cocaine. Everytime you do this it paves a little more cement on the pleasure response in your brain. This “highway” is a 10 lane express way that gets wider, faster, and easier to access with each act. The key is to NEVER expose yourself to the triggers that get you on that “highway”. You have to figure out what those triggers are and attack that with vigor.

Look for a group in your area that deals with this addiction. I am not saying your an addict but seeing others struggle with this same issue will strengthen you because you will see your not alone or a freak. SSA is a 12 step program that follows the AA 12 step. The biggest thing is being accountable to a group and walking with that group to overcoming this.

You will fall again… but hopefully it will take longer and longer between times.

Your 2nd question is something that I have struggled with and you seem to do the same thing I did/do. We limit God. We limit his forgiveness. God loves us above all and his joy exceeds anything we can imagine when we seek forgiveness. God isn’t there waiting with a hammer to pound you with guilt and shame, thats the devil. God is waiting there to throw your sins as far as the East is from the west. When you do act out ask God for forgiveness immediately and believe in that forgiveness. The next thing to do is go to Confession. The Graces of the confessional will help sustain you and the Eucharist will sustain you so it is very important to do both.

Keep fighting, never give up, and continue to ask and seek out help/advice. You are on a path and each step you are taking is helping you you just may not see it at this point.

Mike

Don’t put Limits on God, trust him, believe in his forgiveness, and then banish that guilt and shame.

 

[familyman37]

For years I struggled with the temptation to masturbate, and many times found myself in the situation you are in. I don’t think guys really “get over it.” The temptations come and go. You may go a long while sucessfully resisting, and the temptations may seem to almost go away. Then, out of the blue, the temptation comes back intensely.

I know it is possible to live in victory. But victory in this area requires life-long diligence. And we should be aware that intense battles can arise at any time.

Best wishes to you. Victory is worth the fight!

 

[Wardog]

For years I struggled with the temptation to masturbate, and many times found myself in the situation you are in. I don’t think guys really “get over it.” The temptations come and go. You may go a long while sucessfully resisting, and the temptations may seem to almost go away. Then, out of the blue, the temptation comes back intensely.

I know it is possible to live in victory. But victory in this area requires life-long diligence. And we should be aware that intense battles can arise at any time.

Best wishes to you. Victory is worth the fight!

Does one become “Master of his Domain” through prayer and diligence, or simply as a result of aging and lower testosterone (sp?)levels?

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

Hey guys, I know there are a fair amount of people asking questions about this topic, but I have yet to see anyone ask this yet.

For people who have struggled or continue to struggle with this problem: how many times have you given in to temptation? Does it get easier to resist temptation as you try to refrain?

I’m asking this cause lately its been REALLY hard to resist the urges. Like, I went two months without doing anything, and then I gave in and I dunno. I guess at this point I just feel kind of down and a little frustrated cause I feel like no matter what I do or how long I go without doing anything I always end up falling. So that’s why I wanted to see if anybody else has taken a long time to get over it or if I’m just a weird person haha.

I do not think it is worth the trouble of the fight! With fight you go nowhere.
Sex is part of life. If the ship is in rough seas and is going up and down it reflects on the masts, on the deck, on seasickness. It is useless to wonder about the masts forgetting that you are in rough seas. Look, when the ship is on port, the masts do not move, they are easy-going.

All the problems with sex, and masturbation is not a single point apart from the others, are a sign that we, as human persons, are out of balance, which, sinners as we are, it is not difficult to be.

Remember that St. Paul said once, that so that the visions of God that he had did not turn him into a vain person, God gave to him a devil who slaped him. He asked God thrice that he would be delivered from the Devil but God told him: “It is enough My Grace”. Some theologians say that this was the problem of Paul. Sincerely, it would be, and my opinion is just a guess, but I guess that it would be something else that he did not want us to know.

Nevertheless, you are on the way to God, you do not want it, you search for purity, you want to do what God wants, you are searching for a way to get rid of it, you posted here.
What else can you do? Remember, the Grace of God is the most important thing.

In questions os sex, we know little about solutions. I was shocked by a pedophil in the USA who molested and killed children. when sentenced to death, he told that he wanted no appeals. He said that knowing himself as he knew, he would do it again if he was free. That for the good of the kids, it was better for them that he would be dead.

I was impressed for we think of these guys as people who do these horrid things on purpose, and that they are different from all the crowd.

I believe as St. Francis of Assisi when he said that he was the greates sinner of the world ans someone said: Come on, you know it is not so,you do not believe that. and the saint said, if I was in their place, the place of criminals I would have done worse.

Great Saint.

 

[michaelmas]

Does one become “Master of his Domain” through prayer and diligence, or simply as a result of aging and lower testosterone (sp?)levels?

Both. If you never prayed or tried to control I believe that the results of masturbation, the porn, the vehicle to your thrill, would overtake you and you would seek more, and more triggers to get you the high. Some of those triggers could be illegal or down right harmful to your body. By trying to control it you maintain a focal point, God. And with God I think you can be more successful then without in dealing with masturbation.

 

[stayinthelight]

You definitely can stop masturbating. Completely. It’s not as difficult as some people say.

“You will fall again… but hopefully it will take longer and longer between times.”

I want to respectfully disagree with Mike on this one.

If you have the attitude that you will “fall” (masturbate) again, then that almost encourages it.

You do not have to masturbate ever again. You do not ever have to feel the discomfort of temptation. If you truly desire to be free, Christ will guide you.

No one can force you to masturbate. You do have self-control, not just over your body, but over your mind. You do have control over your mind. Others will try to tell you differently.

The key is to avoid any temptation. Even G-rated programming can be sexually provocative in its own way.

Books, novels can be sexually provocative. This world is swimming in sin. So it’s everywhere. Most Catholics go along with the flow of society, at least here in America. Be careful what you allow into your mind.

If you are in the grocery store and you happen to glance at the magazine covers, many of them are designed to sexually arouse.

Many females in society choose to dress immodestly. That does not help the tragic masturbation situation here in America. And it doesn’t help that we’re told that our sexual desires our unavoidable. They are.

Once you finally realize that you aren’t a slave to your mind or sexual desire, that you can go the entire day without allowing tempting thoughts, you will be in a special place. Life will be very beautiful.

We* allow* temptation. Please remember that temptation is something you allow. When you feel that temptation, remember that you are the one creating it in your mind. There is a part of you, an evil part of you, that creates the painful temptation. Just let the temptation go. Let it leave your mind. See it for what it is; a lie from Satan. Ask Christ to help.

Once you truly desire to be free from masturbation and the temptation to masturbate, you will be. You can’t be 99% sure you want to stop masturbating. Your desire must be 100%. Then you will be free.

Check out the website: semenloss.info
I don’t know if it’s the greatest site, but it might have some quotes that are useful or interesting.

(I know some people don’t believe in Satan…)

 

[stayinthelight]

I do not think it is worth the trouble of the fight! With fight you go nowhere.
Sex is part of life. If the ship is in rough seas and is going up and down it reflects on the masts, on the deck, on seasickness. It is useless to wonder about the masts forgetting that you are in rough seas. Look, when the ship is on port, the masts do not move, they are easy-going.

All the problems with sex, and masturbation is not a single point apart from the others, are a sign that we, as human persons, are out of balance, which, sinners as we are, it is not difficult to be.

Remember that St. Paul said once, that so that the visions of God that he had did not turn him into a vain person, God gave to him a devil who slaped him. He asked God thrice that he would be delivered from the Devil but God told him: “It is enough My Grace”. Some theologians say that this was the problem of Paul. Sincerely, it would be, and my opinion is just a guess, but I guess that it would be something else that he did not want us to know.

Nevertheless, you are on the way to God, you do not want it, you search for purity, you want to do what God wants, you are searching for a way to get rid of it, you posted here.
What else can you do? Remember, the Grace of God is the most important thing.

In questions os sex, we know little about solutions. I was shocked by a pedophil in the USA who molested and killed children. when sentenced to death, he told that he wanted no appeals. He said that knowing himself as he knew, he would do it again if he was free. That for the good of the kids, it was better for them that he would be dead.

I was impressed for we think of these guys as people who do these horrid things on purpose, and that they are different from all the crowd.

I believe as St. Francis of Assisi when he said that he was the greates sinner of the world ans someone said: Come on, you know it is not so,you do not believe that. and the saint said, if I was in their place, the place of criminals I would have done worse.

Great Saint.

“I do not think it is worth the trouble of the fight! With fight you go nowhere.
Sex is part of life.”

Are you suggesting that he should continue masturbating?

 

[michaelmas]

stayinthelight

You are correct. Christ can defeat all and my comment was limiting what Christ can do.

Let me rephrase, You will probably fall again but know this, Christ is there to lift you up and don’t beat yourself up over it that is not of God. The evil one wants you to feel sorry for yourself, hopeless, and most of all he wants you to believe you are worthless and a failure. You have to banish that from your thoughts when you sin. I struggled with this and still struggle with it. I know God loves me yet I deny him by saying I am no good, I failed again, I have to confess this same sin again… Don’t let those thoughts in.

Mike

 

[stayinthelight]

stayinthelight

You are correct. Christ can defeat all and my comment was limiting what Christ can do.

Let me rephrase, You will probably fall again but know this, Christ is there to lift you up and don’t beat yourself up over it that is not of God. The evil one wants you to feel sorry for yourself, hopeless, and most of all he wants you to believe you are worthless and a failure. You have to banish that from your thoughts when you sin. I struggled with this and still struggle with it. I know God loves me yet I deny him by saying I am no good, I failed again, I have to confess this same sin again… Don’t let those thoughts in.

Mike

Thanks for clarifying, Mike.

I said a prayer for you. And I’ll try to remember to pray for you again.

I think the Holy Spirit is the only way to be truly free from sexual sin.

 

[stayinthelight]

Hmmm…

I’m not sure that link I provided (www.semenloss.info) is totally Christian. Or even totally scientific.

I probably should not have included it since I don’t necessarily stand behind its contents. I haven’t looked at it in a long time and I’m not sure it’s very useful.

But to Clouded Coffee:

You definitely can be free from all sexual temptation. Ask God to take over your mind and body. Ask God to direct you in every moment.

If you sincerely ask, not just with words or thoughts, but with your heart, with your whole being, God will take away the temptation in your mind.

I’m not trying to preach to you. Just tossing out some stuff that might help you.

 

[oneofmany]

I am a woman so may not be able to understand this from a man’s point of view.

It’s hard to think masturbation is bad when doctors tell us men need to ejaculate so many times each week to keep their prostate healthy. What does a single man do anyway? Also doctors advise women to do it in order to learn how their body works so they can tell their husbands what to do. That is only good for marriage. I guess it’s ok for women to do it anyway since we don’t lose any semen. That seems unfair, I never understood that if it’s true. ???

If it is done using porn then I can see how that can be harmful but if one is thinking about their wife and nothing else, then why not? That would be better for men on long trips than to have the temptation to find a woman. It seems many men have problems when they are away from home and their wives for long periods of time.

Also, I am getting older and sex is becoming hard for me after menopause. I wish I could satisfy my husband using it instead of intercourse since sometimes it hurts me. I want to talk to my priest in confession about this but the last time I tried I became uncomfortable since I felt like I may be turning the priest on—after all he is a man. This is a big reason I feel some women should be priests—the only reason really though.

I guess I need to ask my priest if he knows of a priest who is a doctor or a Catholic doctor who can answer these questions for me. There has to be a better way for older couples to remain sexually active and stay within the guidelines of the church.

Any help would be appreciated.

 

[clouded_coffee]

Thanks so much for all the help guys!

To michaelmas- I do agree with trying to reach out and find other people with the same issue. Thing is, I’m a high school aged female and it would kind of be awkward for me to go to an SSA program haha. Especially cause absolutely no one I know is aware of my problem. But thats why I came on here, cause its as close to talking with people in the same boat as me as possible without actually talking face-to-face. And your comments (along with everyone else’s) has definitely made me more motivated

To stayinthelight- I think by saying that I will fall again, michaelmas wasn’t trying to say that I should just expect it, I think it was meant for me (and others reading this) to understand that if we are trying our hardest and end up masturbating, that we won’t feel extremely guilty and ashamed. Does that make sense? Also, I definitely agree on really trying to monitor what I watch and read in my free time. I’m gonna try to be more diligent about that

Again, thanks a lot everyone. I really appreciate these suggestions. I’ll be praying for all of you!!

 

[trmyjs]

For people who have struggled or continue to struggle with this problem: how many times have you given in to temptation? Does it get easier to resist temptation as you try to refrain?

I stopped for three months, gave in to the temptation several times in the span of a week. Felt horrible, confessed it, and am almost 4 months clean.

YES! It gets so much easier. You’ve gotta have patience though. I still get tempted, but the temptations when I first quit were incredibly stronger.

Search this site for tactics on how to overcome this addiction. Or just ask. I and several others will be happy to share.

I’ll say a prayer for you. God bless!

 

[trmyjs]

I am a woman so may not be able to understand this from a man’s point of view.

It’s hard to think masturbation is bad when doctors tell us men need to ejaculate so many times each week to keep their prostate healthy. What does a single man do anyway? Also doctors advise women to do it in order to learn how their body works so they can tell their husbands what to do. That is only good for marriage. I guess it’s ok for women to do it anyway since we don’t lose any semen. That seems unfair, I never understood that if it’s true. ???

If it is done using porn then I can see how that can be harmful but if one is thinking about their wife and nothing else, then why not? That would be better for men on long trips than to have the temptation to find a woman. It seems many men have problems when they are away from home and their wives for long periods of time.

Also, I am getting older and sex is becoming hard for me after menopause. I wish I could satisfy my husband using it instead of intercourse since sometimes it hurts me. I want to talk to my priest in confession about this but the last time I tried I became uncomfortable since I felt like I may be turning the priest on—after all he is a man. This is a big reason I feel some women should be priests—the only reason really though.

I guess I need to ask my priest if he knows of a priest who is a doctor or a Catholic doctor who can answer these questions for me. There has to be a better way for older couples to remain sexually active and stay within the guidelines of the church.

Any help would be appreciated.

The few health benefits that come from masturbation are nothing compared to how much it kills our spiritual health. It’s simply not worth it. Plus, it clearly goes against God’s will so we obviously don’t need it.

Masturbation is not okay in any circumstance (as far as I know). I’m still learning about all of this myself, so I’m sure there is a more educated way to explain this… But God created sex to be procreative, self-giving, and to unite two married people. Masturbation goes against all of this. Masturbation is selfish and sinful.

I know this isn’t the best explanation, but I felt the need to steer you in the right direction. Hopefully someone can elaborate or correct any inaccurate statements.

I pray that you find the truth on this matter! Peace!

 

[oneofmany]

I am sure there are some passages about spilling your seed on the ground as being sinful.

I have also read old medical books that believed men had only so much semen and once it was gone it was gone forever. Not true as medical science knows today. Just the opposite. If men are not sexual they will have problems later in life when they marry. Of course, that is older men.

I don’t see how some passages in the bible have much to do with medical advances today if it is based on the medical knowledge of that day. We know Jewish people had many laws that were abandoned in the New Testament. Circumcision is only one.

 

[oneofmany]

The few health benefits that come from masturbation are nothing compared to how much it kills our spiritual health. It’s simply not worth it. Plus, it clearly goes against God’s will so we obviously don’t need it.

Masturbation is not okay in any circumstance (as far as I know). I’m still learning about all of this myself, so I’m sure there is a more educated way to explain this… But God created sex to be procreative, self-giving, and to unite two married people. Masturbation goes against all of this. Masturbation is selfish and sinful.

I know this isn’t the best explanation, but I felt the need to steer you in the right direction. Hopefully someone can elaborate or correct any inaccurate statements.

I pray that you find the truth on this matter! Peace!

I agree with that if it is only for oneself but if you do it to learn about your body—and lots of women do not know a thing----and if it is to prepare for marriage and a healthy sexual life I don’t see how it can be that wrong.

Some marriages are hurt by young couples going into marriage knowing nothing about having sex and how to be thoughtful for their partner. A woman’s husband cannot read her mind, it takes communication.

 

[familyman37]

Does one become “Master of his Domain” through prayer and diligence, or simply as a result of aging and lower testosterone (sp?)levels?

In my experience, prayer and diligence played a big role. Also, being careful about the media I exposed myself to. One of the biggest helps in my struggle was finding a godly man who I could talk to about this issue. He had many years of victory, and could keep me accountable. This was before I came back to the Catholic Church- now I look to a priest and the sacrament of reconciliation for this kind of accountability.

I’m so thankful that I learned to control my body BEFORE I got married! I firmly believe that a couple must learn this discipline if they are going to have a healthy and fulfilling sex life as a married couple. Sex was designed to go together with love (in marriage), and love is all about serving- not fulfilling one’s self. When a married couple approach sex with this perspective, wow! Trust the Church’s teaching on masturbation and sexuality. It works!!

 

[familyman37]

I agree with that if it is only for oneself but if you do it to learn about your body—and lots of women do not know a thing----and if it is to prepare for marriage and a healthy sexual life I don’t see how it can be that wrong.

Some marriages are hurt by young couples going into marriage knowing nothing about having sex and how to be thoughtful for their partner. A woman’s husband cannot read her mind, it takes communication.

Well, six years ago my fiance and I went into marriage “knowing nothng.” We hadn’t even kissed! Not only did we have a wonderful honeymoon, we’ve had six AWESOME years of marriage.

Now we did read a Christian book about sex several days before our wedding night. And we’ve had really good communication, too. But I would strongly disagree that masturbation could help one’s sex life in marriage. I would say it hinders things because it goes opposite to what God designed sex to be.

 

[stayinthelight]

QUESTION:

Also, to the OP…to avoid the grocery store, books, magazines, and women/men on the street…which all contribute to the tragic masturbation situation…I’m getting the vibe that you might have to move to an Amish community!
LOL!

I never told anyone to “avoid the grocery store, books, magazines, and women/men on the street”.

I don’t find your joke? at the end funny, either.