Another Masturbation Topic

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Corporal_John_S

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I hope I don’t cause anyone any annoyance with posting another topic on the subject, however, do I know I post this with having already read most of the previous topics about it on this and other forums.

Let me preface this with a very slim intro in my religious journey:
I was an Atheist for many, many years and only a few months ago completed my conversion to Catholicism. I am 17 now, turning 18 here in about a month.

Of all the struggles I’ve gone through I’m still to this date struggling with my lustful thoughts and feelings. I’ve managed to not masturbate for some time, but because of that I’m constantly filled with sexual urges all the time and can’t get rid of them. I’ve read many things to break the Masturbation addiction, but none have helped, In fact, since I’m no longer satisfying these desires the urges only seem to grow each day.

As I said, I’ve refined from Masturbating and don’t feel as if at this time I’m going to succumb to my urges. However, with time I can see my resolve not being nearly as strong and I would like to be rid of these feelings just so I can “function” better.

The real problem is just being full of these feelings when I’m out in public, at school. I’m able to put them on the backburner and do everything I would do otherwise(though lord help me if I happen to see one of the many scantly clad women at my school), but still all day the feeling is there. When I’m alone is when I’m worried I’ll act upon all these pent up feelings. It only takes the smallest things to happen throughout the day and get my mind racing with all kinds of thoughts and fantasies. Once I start I can’t stop, it’s almost as if the more I try to get the thoughts out of my head, the longer they stay.

Every night my dreams are full of the different things you can expect I would dream of with this going on. I know that wet dreams aren’t a sin, but thats not even it. I’ve yet to really have a “wet dream” not once have I ejaculated during one of these dreams. I’m not usually engaging in the activities, but I’m seeing different things happening. This ensures that right when I wake up I’m already extremely in the mood and it only builds up throughout the day.

Normally, I would be inclined to go on with my life. As I’ve said that while it is of annoyance to me, it doesn’t stop me from doing the things I need to do. However, this is obviously a huge barrier in my relationship with God. In fact, it’s dismantling it. In times of great sexual desire I’ve had all kinds of absolutely terrible thoughts such as, “If only I had never discovered God and was still an Atheist, then I wouldn’t have to worry about all this” or “What if their is no God and I’m needlessly making myself suffer by ignoring my bodies urges?” or “Way in the world would the church decree such a simple part of human nature a sin?”

Like I said, absolutely terrible. I’ve also done google searchs to try and find different peoples opinions on it and find defenses for it, but I’ve managed to settle on the fact that the churchs view on it is laid out clearly in the catechism and theres no way around it.

Now after having said that, I don’t know if anyone here will really be able to help me. I’ve read a lot on the subject and about masturbation addiction. Both religious and secular and nothing has really helped. However, writing it all down like that was sort of calming in a way. I’ve yet to read any stories with someone that had been as into it as I have, but maybe someone else can see this and feel better about their desires not being nearly as bad or that someone is right where they are. 😉

Anyway, I hope that gives you some idea of where I am at and how much of a struggle this has been for me. Any advice is always appreciated. Thanks!
 
This is just a simple answer, but have you tried Fasting…It might help you control your desires…

Your Brother in Christ

“If you are what you should be, you will set the world on fire!” --Saint Catherine of Siena
 
my friend don’t be too upset if you do fall…get back up!!! this will never be an easy fight maybe.hopefully for you it will be though…the thoughts that come in univited are to be rejcted will a resounding NO!!!,followed by Glory be to the Father Son and Holy Spirit,as it was in the beginning is now and will be forever…never allow yourself to dwell on such thoughts as this will be the pathway for a fall…as for the other thoughts guess where they are coming from (the deciever)…concentrate on these thoughts instead refute in your mind any doubts that come in,this will keep your mind some what occupied…i battled hard on simular thoughts and won through the grace of God…remember what St. Paul wrote “i keep my eyes on the prize as i run the race”…IOW try to keep your mind on God centred thoughts…may the peace of Christ reside in you…
 
brother_sun said:
This is just a simple answer, but have you tried Fasting…It might help you control your desires…

Your Brother in Christ

“If you are what you should be, you will set the world on fire!” --Saint Catherine of Siena
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I would say that cold showers work much better than fasting. 😉

But seriously, it’s a struggle, and not an easy one. When you feel like you’ve accomplished something by managing not to give in, you’re going to fail. When you acknowledge God’s help in managing not to give in, you’ll succeed. 👍
 
Hello,
I know you have heard replies already on fasting, and praying and confession, which are all vital, but I will give some new advice today.
  1. Try to find a motivation: For example, if you have a girlfriend, you can say to yourself, don’t I want to make my self as pure as possible for her who could be my future wife? It would be better to do it for Jesus, but it can be difficult sometimes.
  2. Think outside of yourself: Realize how your body and soul are divided. That is you have your intellect above your will and your will above your passions. Then let the will control the passions. One beauty of the human mind is that the it is not intrinsically bound, that is, it is not bound by itself. You can think about yourself thinking! So next time you get tempted, it can be easy to just overthink, and think only on self. But if you kind of allow yourself to be the “fly on the wall”, looking down at you, then suddenly you start to realize how you are above this act, what you are actually doing (your mind might underplay it), and you start to think about others and God as opposed to yourself, because in a sense you have separated yourself from the current event.
  3. Imagine spiritual beings: Would you do something if Jesus or Mary was present? Imagine them there. Or, sometimes quite effective is to imagine the devil present, after all, he is tempting you. You will then realize that there is more to this than just the physical, and it will help you to despise what the devil is doing and not want to take part.
Let your will control your body, not the other way around. Your soul is higher after all. I hope this helps. I will pray for you. God bless.
 
well first off i wanted to tell you that temptations are a good thing, it’s giving into them that’s bad, but when we resist temptation, God gives us graces and we become stronger from it,

you say you feel as though the more you fight it the stronger it becomes, but that will not last,
the devil can see you fighting it, and he knows he can lose you, so he is going to make it much harder for you, but it will always be harder before it gets easier, God will not let you go on forever like this, it is when God knows best that you will finally be able to overcome these things more easily, it has to take time because you have to learn how to control yourself and have the mindset to deal with it.

just don’t let it get you so upset if you do give in that you would give up, because you will always please God as long as you don’t give up, if you always reach for perfection, always try and keep His commandments, and always ask for His help…even a great sinner can be pleasing to God, if he never gives up, and if he hates what sins he commits.

well, i also want to point out, that the difference with how it’s so much harder now is, before you were not fighting your temptations, you gave into them whether the devil was giving you them or not, but now you are facing them for the first time, it might seem harder just because you are not familiar with it, and you don’t have many tactics of your own right now, because you have just begun, you currently have little defense.
but the more you grow spiritually, and the more you pray, then you will have much more to fight with,
prayer is the greatest weapon against the devil, especially the rosary,

and keep in mind, that God will never give you more then you can handle, whatever temptations come your way, there will always be a way to overcome them, you just need to ask God to help you.

one more point of advice, go to confession every chance you get (daily or weekly)
by going that often you will receive alot of graces,
if you have no mortal sins to confess, then confess your venial sins and vices, you can even talk to the priest about what you struggle most with, and you will find that in no time you will be seeing a big improvement in yourself, because there is nothing that will help you to overcome sin better then confession,

alright, hope this has helped, tc.
 
When you feel you are struggeling or are tempted. Say little prayers like. Come Holy Spirit,. Most Sacret Heart Of Jesus I place all my trust in you. Sweet Jesus keep me close to your Sacret Heart.

Ask God to help you and he will.

The prayer of The Holy Spirit is.

Come Holy Spirit Fill the Hearts of the faithful and kindle within them the Spirit of thy love. Send forth thy Spirit and they shall be created and Thou shalt renew the face of the Earth.

Antrim
 
This is never easier. First remember that no sin is greater than God’s mercy. I dealt with this for many years. Like you, I discovered it was a mortal sin around the age of 17. I have battle with it for around 10 years. Don’t think others don’t haven’t been in the same position. Most young men have been there. I have tried everything under the sun. Reflecting back, this sin along with its temptations and failures have brought me closer to God. Your heart is in the correct place. This sin really started getting better when I started weekly confession. Even if I hadn’t commited the sin. You get so many graces. I also didn’t have the best prayer life. I prayed, but it was empty. I read a book called “He and I” and it taught me how to pray better. It taught me I can give everything to God. When I am cleaning out the litter box I offer it to God. You must try to let go. I was trying to beat this thing on my own. You can never do it alone, but Jesus is write there with you. The best thing is He is always there with open arms no matter how many times you commit the sin. PM if you want further conversation.
 
I would ask you to meditate on the following question. How willing are you to forgo sexual pleasure for the rest of your life?

I’ve found the main difficulty in dealing with sexual temptation is that I was not truly fighting to overcome sexual immorality, but was “stalling” until such a time as I could seek sexual gratification “legitimately”. The biggest clue I’ve seen in your post that supports the possibility this difficulty plagues you is:
In times of great sexual desire I’ve had all kinds of absolutely terrible thoughts such as, “If only I had never discovered God and was still an Atheist, then I wouldn’t have to worry about all this” or “What if their is no God and I’m needlessly making myself suffer by ignoring my bodies urges?” or “Way in the world would the church decree such a simple part of human nature a sin?”
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Trust me, I’ve had similar thoughts myself at times. But here’s the thing. These aren’t by and large bodily urges; they’re psychological. The mind is saying “this is something that feels good” and then tries to whisper subtle reasons why you should indulge. The body responds, true, but it is the mind that is triggering the urge. The notion that we’re helpless before this growing sexual tension we feel when we go so long without masturbating is really one of those tricky psychological ploys we play to ultimately justify indulging ourselves.

I don’t want to belabor the point to death, but it is vitally important to understand, especially if you’re like me and have suffered from sexual addiction. I spent a long time fighting the cravings, and I found that my mind (I say it like my mind is a separate entity, and it isn’t, but treating the mindset I had as an adversary itself is helpful) could come up with any excuse. The more I fought back against the apparent excuses, the more subtly my mind retaliated. And the biggest reason it could do that is because I wasn’t willing to state: I can forgo all sexual gratification for the rest of my life.

Why is making this assertion important? I’m not trying to say that sex is bad or anything. Sex is wonderful when used correctly. But here’s the thing: when sex is used correctly, it is a material good. It can bring you closer to your spouse, it can bring the joy of children, and it can be loving as God loves. However, it is not necessary in an individual sense. If you cannot at any time set sex aside for good, then you are taking this material good and elevating it to something higher. A fully developed Christian morality will realize that it is elevating sex to more important than God; even a well-developed secular morality will realize that it elevates sex to more important than any individual engaging in sex.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not asking you to make a promise never to engage in sexual activity again. I’m just asking you to be willing to forgo all sexual activity, if the situation demands it.

One last thing. In this life, you will never be totally free from temptation. This isn’t a battle in which we can someday announce “I won” and go about our merry lives. Yes, hopefully the temptations come fewer and farther between, but we must always be vigilant.

Cairone
 
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