Another NFP question!

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Peacefulwishes

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Ladies, how are your husbands involved in NFP? Men, what do you do to assist your wives?

My husband and I are pretty clueless as to how he can help us. There are no classes in our area, by the way, not for any NFP method. (I have an email into our diocese to ask why) I have the book Taking Charge Of Your Fertility, which utilizes three signs in order to determine fertility (cervical position, cervical fluid, and bbt). I just don’t know how to get my husband involved so that he and I are on the same page, day to day, and so he can help us not mess up! What do you do?
 
I do Creighton Model NFP, so DH is not involved since it’s mucus only.

I know some couples that do STM and the husband takes and records the temp each morning and interprets the chart. The wife records CM and position but the husband interprets the chart.

Anyway, I think that’s a per couple decision.

I hope you find a class in your area. I think it’s odd you don’t have ANY teaching couples in ANY method.
 
I know! I’ve checked the CCL, the Billings site, the Creighton site, our Diocese site, my own parishes website… nothing!! The very closest is a 45 minute freeway drive!
 
I’m starting to feel the urge to spearhead a project to get something set up over here! The valley here is really large, I think like 400,000 population overall, and I am so shocked that we have nothing set up here for couples like myself and DH. I know we can’t be the only ones needing support!
 
My wife and I recently purchased the charting software from www.ccli.org and I have been entering her data each day (symptothermo method). We like this approach because then she is “blind”; i.e. she doesn’t know exactly what day she is on, so it wont subconsciously skew her mucus observations. Also, this gives me “inside” information, I know exactly what’s going on each month!

the couple to couple league does have homestudy materials if you are unable to find a nearby instructor. a friend of ours recently used their materials and they seemed to figure it all out just fine. I LOVE the software because it keeps track of all the “rules” for you! It literally takes 30 seconds/day total (on my end).

-mike
 
My husband and I learned NFP through classes taught by a teaching couple of the Couple to Couple League. We had to drive 2 1/2 hours to the classes!! This was a really long commute, but there were only three classes to attend, and we both feel that it was definitely worth it to make the drive to get trained by a teaching couple. Seeing the example of their marriage and hearing about their personal experiences with NFP really helped. Also, when we have a question about my cycle, I scan my chart and email it to the couple, and they respond the same day with their advice on which phase of the cycle we are in. If it won’t work to learn from a teaching couple, I have friends who have done the home study course and I think that’s a good option too. And once you and your husband learn NFP, maybe you could consider training to be a teaching couple to help out your area!
 
I use Creighton, so there’s not a whole lot IMO for my DH to do. However, I make sure I discuss things w/ him and leave my chart where he can see it & ask questions if he has any. Mostly he just leaves it to me though.

I drive about 45 minutes to see my instructor, but I only had to go 3-4 times before we got to the point where phone conversations and occasional email charts were enough for us. I highly recommend driving the distance the few times to make the best possible start w/ your NFP decisions.

Actually, for the record, if I miscarry again (fingers crossed, this is my 6th pregnancy is 2 years w/ 1 live birth) I’m going to be driving over 4 hours to see the closest NFP-only gyn I know of. I’ll also be dragging my DH w/ me to another meeting w/ my instructor so we can perhaps learn where we’re going wrong (none of our pregnancies have been exactly planned, but we were pretty sure we were in ‘danger’).

I’m also firmly of the mind that NFP women (and men) should get together & stage some sort of plea for medical professionals, legislators, insurance companies, etc to recognize that NFP is just as good if not better than bc & abortion. Especially if FOCA gets passed. Its pretty ****** that doctors & pharmacists may be forced to prescribe bc, but no one cares about women who can’t/won’t take bc for various reasons.
 
hey biologybrain

I see you are in kentucky. Where are you going to that Ob/gyn thats 4 hours away? St. Louis? the ones here are AMAZING
 
My husband is in charge of setting the alarm on the alarm clock, nudging me awake, handing me the thermometer, taking the thermometer when I’m done, recording my temperature, asking me every night what my signs/symptoms (CM) were, and interpreting the chart. I pay attention to my body 🙂

I really like that he’s involved, and since I have such a hard time waking up in the morning, its good to have someone else nudging me awake. And not knowing exactly where I am, as someone else mentioned, makes it less likely that I’ll skew my CM readings.
 
DH and I use Creighton. He usually records for me as I “yell” across the hall at the end of the night. 😃 Plus we talk about where I am a lot, and even if we aren’t talking about it he can figure it out from how I feel physically. Before we started charting on the computer, we kept our notebook with our bibles on the night stand. Our nightly routine would be 1 - record symptoms, 2 - read devotions, 3 - pray. Then we just put everything back on the night stand and there was no guessing about where I was in my cycle, DH already knew.

Good luck & God bless.
 
I’m also firmly of the mind that NFP women (and men) should get together & stage some sort of plea for medical professionals, legislators, insurance companies, etc to recognize that NFP is just as good if not better than bc & abortion. Especially if FOCA gets passed. Its pretty ****** that doctors & pharmacists may be forced to prescribe bc, but no one cares about women who can’t/won’t take bc for various reasons.

Biology brain-

I could not have said it better!😉
 
We use Billings method, all mucus observation based.

My role is to fold the laundry and do the dishes! (Generally while she’s reading or watching TV)

She figures that’s fair compensation for her having to do the yucky duty.

Works for us!
 
manualman said:
We use Billings method, all mucus observation based.

My role is to fold the laundry and do the dishes! (Generally while she’s reading or watching TV)

She figures that’s fair compensation for her having to do the yucky duty.

Works for us!
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Can I marry you too??? :cool:

My husband is not involved, but I tell him where I am in the cycle. It works for us. We are currently trying to make a baby, so we now have intercourse on the high fertility days.

I use the sympto-thermal method. It’s better b/c you can get a better indication of when you’re fertile by cervical position and mucus. Then the temperature shift confirms ovulation and I know that intercouse won’t make a baby.

The book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility is the same as taking an NFP course. I learned NFP by just doing research on the web…www.fertilityfriend.com is also a great website for information.

I have never taken a NFP course. I never needed to once I learned the ins and outs on my own, but I also have a very predictable cycle.
 
DH and I took the NFP course as marriage prep. Before getting pregnant, we used the symto-thermal method and the Taking Charge of Your Fertility software. I did the temperature readings/observations, but DH would come and look over my charts. 🙂
 
Serap said:
Can I marry you too??? :cool:

My husband is not involved, but I tell him where I am in the cycle. It works for us. We are currently trying to make a baby, so we now have intercourse on the high fertility days.

I use the sympto-thermal method. It’s better b/c you can get a better indication of when you’re fertile by cervical position and mucus. Then the temperature shift confirms ovulation and I know that intercouse won’t make a baby.

The book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility is the same as taking an NFP course. I learned NFP by just doing research on the web…www.fertilityfriend.com is also a great website for information.

I have never taken a NFP course. I never needed to once I learned the ins and outs on my own, but I also have a very predictable cycle.
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One NFP method is not objectively better than another. It depends on what works for each individual. I could argue that Creighton is “better” because it has standardized instruction and it works with the health issues. But I don’t because it is not necessarily better for others.

Havnig a teacher however, IS objectively better. Thats great that you didn’t need one, but just learning from a book, is NOT the same as taking a class and having a teacher.
 
agapewolf said:
One NFP method is not objectively better than another. It depends on what works for each individual. I could argue that Creighton is “better” because it has standardized instruction and it works with the health issues. But I don’t because it is not necessarily better for others.

Havnig a teacher however, IS objectively better. Thats great that you didn’t need one, but just learning from a book, is NOT the same as taking a class and having a teacher.
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I agree that both methods have pros and cons. However, I don’t know about the teacher thing. DH and I had NFP instructors who weren’t as up-to-date about NFP as the Taking Charge of Your Fertility book. So if you have a GOOD teacher, that’s better, but I got some wrong information from my NFP class. 🤷
 
You CAN learn it from a book. We did. But we read the Billings book 7 months BEFORE we got married. That was plenty of time for my wife to get used to her symptoms and adjust to dealing with and remembering to do all the observations.

It’s a LOT easier to learn when you don’t actually have sexual activity mucking up the symptoms! (and helps to have a very readable cycle).
 
hey biologybrain
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I see you are in kentucky. Where are you going to that Ob/gyn thats 4 hours away? St. Louis? the ones here are AMAZING
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Yep, I go to Dr. Gosser of St. Gerard ob/gyn at St. Anthony’s Hospital campus. I LOVE it. The only problem is the drive. I only go when I absolutely HAVE to go. He’s been really great about working w/ my regular ob/gyn here in KY. She’s (my regular ob/gyn) been really great for letting me have both of them on my team.

My suggestion to anyone w/o an NFP doc nearby is to find one that’s not excrutiatingly far away (like I did w/ St. Louis). It helps to find one in a city where you wouldn’t mind visiting too! 😉 Talk to them, visit at least once (to get a base-line for them). Then shop your local area for an ob/gyn (or even family practice, internist, general practice, etc) that will work w/ your NFP doc’s recommendations. For routine care (Paps, pre-natal well-checks, delivery, etc), use the local doc. Anytime you feel there’s something going on that your NFP doc would be better at handling (like my repeated miscarriages or endometriosis), call the NFP doc and see what their typical plan of action would be. You may end up being surprised at how wonderful these NFP docs are about working w/ your limitations. They’re a very close-knit network for one thing. For another, they truly want to help YOU do what’s best for YOU. Another key thing is to NOT let your regular ob/gyn (any doc) pressure you in any way, shape, or form into doing something you think runs counter to your Faith. Any problematic decisions, feel free to consult your NFP doc (whether by phone, email, fax, face-to-face, etc). If your regular doc won’t work w/ you & your NFP, find another one. Its truly not worth having someone hostile to your Faith working on you. I know from experience. Its a wonderful thing to have someone caring & compassionate in your corner, especially when your fertility & girly-ness is concerned!

I’m lucky b/c my regular ob/gyn is somewhat new and somewhat into the whole ‘natural’ thing. She still asks me if I want birth control at least once a visit, but when I say no, she doesn’t pressure me or act like I’m stupid. Instead, she usually remembers & says “Oh, I forgot, you do natural family planning and you’re Catholic.” She’s actually been really open to learning about NFP and Cord-blood banking. I’m quite encouraged. I was a bit disheartened during my last miscarriage b/c she wanted to do a D&C before the heart-beat was gone. However, when I said no, she said, “I completely understand, I don’t think I’d be able to make that decision if I were you either.”

Pray, search, and discern!
 
agapewolf said:
One NFP method is not objectively better than another. It depends on what works for each individual. I could argue that Creighton is “better” because it has standardized instruction and it works with the health issues. But I don’t because it is not necessarily better for others.

Havnig a teacher however, IS objectively better. Thats great that you didn’t need one, but just learning from a book, is NOT the same as taking a class and having a teacher.
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Unfortunately OP doesn’t have access to a NFP class, so I was providing her with an alternative way of becoming familiar with NFP. You’re right though, there is no “better” way to use NFP, but the important thing is that NFP allows the Holy Spirit to enter your marriage and it’s open to life. 👍

I don’t know how Creighton works b/c I am lucky enough to not have any health issues that require it.

What I meant was:

I feel that the Sympto-Thermal method is better than Billings Ovulation Method because there are more symptoms to confirm fertility and ovulation.

I am also able to learn from a book, so I don’t need to go to class and learn something. I’ve always been that way…heck, in university, I learned pretty much everything from the text books…😃

Everyone is unique and we all learn differently, but OP doesn’t have any NFP classes in her area…that’s a real bumer!!!
 
Serap said:
I feel that the Sympto-Thermal method is better than Billings Ovulation Method because there are more symptoms to confirm fertility and ovulation.
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It’s STILL specific to the person. For us, the temperature thing is just mud in the water, confusing the reliable results. Billing mucus method is 100% reliable for us over 10 years. For others, not so much.
 
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