Another oldie...Have you ever

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On myself or the toilet?

Have you ever had rain in the front yard, but not the back yard?
 
No, but I have seen it rain across the street in my neighbor’s front yard, yet not a drop fell on my front lawn.
Have you ever been hunting with a bow?
 
No…I hope never!
Have you ever had to crawl under a building or shed ?
 
Yes…it’s been a long time, and I hadn’t thought about it in decades…I had to crawl under our barracks to retrieve a baseball…

Have you ever had your picture on the front page of the local paper?
 
Yes. I was in the background just behind the person who was actual focal point of the story, but you could clearly see it was me.

Have you ever driven a racecar? 🏎️
 
No. I have come close to that happening, but managed to stay on top of it.
Have you ever locked your keys in the car?
 
I have over the years,with the old stab and turn sets.
Have you ever ran out of fuel in the middle of nowhere?
 
I have come real close to running out of gas. It wasn’t in the middle of nowhere, but the engine died about ten feet from the fuel pump. It was an easy push.
Have you ever spilled something, like coffee etc, at the dinner table?
 
No,just a knife or fork loudly clattering to the floor.
Have you ever invented something ?
 
Yes…it’s used locally, but there are no patents…

Have you ever smoked a brisket?
 
No, because I could not get it lit. 🚬
(Yes I actually have)
Have you ever had the locks on your car door freeze?
 
Yes, many moons ago…this was something nearly everyone in this part of the country [Northeast Ohio] experienced at least once…remedies included heating the key with a match or lighter, injecting lighter fluid into the keyhole, and, if really desperate, pouring a bucket of hot water on the door…

Have you ever experienced frozen windshield washer fluid?
 
Yes I sure have both in the nozzle line, or on my windshield.
I used a towel I tossed in the dryer for a few minutes, and once it was warm I used that on the frozen lock.
Have you ever used apple wood charcoal?
 
Never heard of it…even as I speak, I’m smoking a London broil on charcoal and apple wood…I have two old apple trees in the back of the yard that provide me with all the wood I need…

Have you ever done ‘beer can chicken’?
 
No, I haven’t.

Have you ever dropped and broken something within 30 minutes of leaving the store where you bought it?
 
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