Another question about the definition of lust

[stjohnberchmans]

while browsing the internet late last night (first mistake) i came across a blog about celebrities. that lead to another site dedicated to “entertainment” news. that lead to another site which hosted mostly pictures of celebrities and non celebrities in bikinis. that lead to another site that hosted pictures of “sexy” christmas themed pictures. that lead to a site which contained pornography.

now i had become increasingly uneasy about each site, but i continued on as sort of a “ooh let me see how much i can get away with before this turns into something bad”. by the time it got to the “sexy christmas pictures” i was already deciding in my mind whether to go all the way and view pornography and commit the sins of masturbation or to not do these things. then i clicked on a link that without my knowledge had pornography. i quickly covered my hand over the screen and turned off the computer and went to bed.

i initially considered this a victory because i have been struggling with the sins of pornography and masturbation for over 5 years now, and this would mark a good turn away from the sins and back to God.

however, i received eucharist today not being fully sure if this was a mortal sin or not. could anyone shed light on my situation?
any help would be appreciated as i am very scrupulous and very uncertain.

 

[stjohnberchmans]

please any thoughts? i’m kinda freaking out right now
thanks

 

[Monte_RCMS]

Frequent confession is important for an overall good balance in your spiritual life, as part of your spiritual life along with Mass, prayer, spiritual reading, etc.

For questions about scrupulosity, which is very common and occurs a lot, do a search here on CAF on scrupulosity. There are some excellent references.

As a spiritual exercise, do the search and tell us what you come up with.