Another thread asking for men's opinion

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Anglewannabe

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OK, I feel like a silly teenager asking this, but I will anyway. I was at a party and I bumped into a man I know. (we are both in our 40s, ie why I feel silly asking this). He is usually the first to say ‘Hi’ to me and talk. If he didn’t like me, I assume he wouldn’t go out of his way to say ‘hi’. Well…he will tell me what is going on in his life and such. However, when I start to tell him about what is going on in mine, often before I finish a sentence, he will talk to someone else, check his phone or interrupt. It makes me feel like a babbling idiot since he obviously is not interested in what I have to say.

So, is shyness why he does this? Rudeness? The reason I ask is because I see how he looks at me and he at times appears interested. But then I think why wouldn’t he pay attention to what I say.

I know no one can tell me exactly what he is thinking, but a few opinions and (name removed by moderator)ut would be nice

Angie
 
this is just waaaaaaaaay to broad for anyone to anaylize, your best bet is just to be upfront an honest.

I personally do not own a cellphone, i hope i never really need one, but to be in public with someone or to talk to someone an then be like okay hang on an then engage someone else on your i whatever or your cell, is beyond rude.

But i wouldn’t go an say you are a babbling idiot, sounds like you are trying to have a conversation an this guy just interupts or gets distracted. My problem is when i use to date, i just didnt know what to talk about at times, an would have to stretch the smallest topic out or else my date an i would just be sitting there staring at the wall.

either way good luck, an no you are not a babbling idiot.
 
Anglewannabe said:
OK, I feel like a silly teenager asking this, but I will anyway. I was at a party and I bumped into a man I know. (we are both in our 40s, ie why I feel silly asking this). He is usually the first to say ‘Hi’ to me and talk. If he didn’t like me, I assume he wouldn’t go out of his way to say ‘hi’. Well…he will tell me what is going on in his life and such. However, when I start to tell him about what is going on in mine, often before I finish a sentence, he will talk to someone else, check his phone or interrupt. It makes me feel like a babbling idiot since he obviously is not interested in what I have to say.

So, is shyness why he does this? Rudeness? The reason I ask is because I see how he looks at me and he at times appears interested. But then I think why wouldn’t he pay attention to what I say.

I know no one can tell me exactly what he is thinking, but a few opinions and (name removed by moderator)ut would be nice

Angie
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There is a big chance he is more concerned of his own self importance… let him go !
 
He could be:
  1. Self-centered.
  2. He really likes you, but is shy/self-conscious.
  3. Have a job that requires him to be checking his cell phone around that time, or maybe there is something else going on his life that he is monitoring (sick mother, friend in crisis, etc.) This one seems less likely than the other two but you never know.
  4. Some people are just “talkers.” I know, I’m one of 'em. I process my thoughts out-loud and sometimes it gives a bad impression to certain people when I really do like/value them.
Honestly the only way to know for sure would be to get him in a dating type of situation. If you have a gut feeling though, trust it.
 
Anglewannabe said:
OK, I feel like a silly teenager asking this, but I will anyway. I was at a party and I bumped into a man I know. (we are both in our 40s, ie why I feel silly asking this). He is usually the first to say ‘Hi’ to me and talk. If he didn’t like me, I assume he wouldn’t go out of his way to say ‘hi’. Well…he will tell me what is going on in his life and such. However, when I start to tell him about what is going on in mine, often before I finish a sentence, he will talk to someone else, check his phone or interrupt. It makes me feel like a babbling idiot since he obviously is not interested in what I have to say.

So, is shyness why he does this? Rudeness? The reason I ask is because I see how he looks at me and he at times appears interested. But then I think why wouldn’t he pay attention to what I say.

I know no one can tell me exactly what he is thinking, but a few opinions and (name removed by moderator)ut would be nice

Angie
Click to expand...
He is interested in some one listening to him! It’s all about him! He doesn’t care about you, and has proven it by his consistent actions. He just wants some one to listen while he talks all about himself. That is his favorite topic!
 
Well, from what you described, this guy seems to show some signs of interest and on the other hand not focusing on what he is suppposed to be interested in.
It could be due to some personality features (shyness, not being able to focus, bad habit of checking phone or playing the guy who doesn’t want to show that he his very interested (apparently a bad strategie)) or might really not be interested, especially if he starts to talk to someone else while you are talking to him about you.
It’s hard to tell from this single experience. My guess is he is not really interested, however if you have a chance to meet him again and see how he interacts with you and with other people you could figure it out more accurately.
 
Thank you everyone for your replies. I am starting to think perhaps his motives are irrelevant. His behaviour is rude and will probably never change. It just irks me when someone starts a conversation and when it is my turn to talk ignores me.
 
Anglewannabe said:
Thank you everyone for your replies. I am starting to think perhaps his motives are irrelevant. His behaviour is rude and will probably never change. It just irks me when someone starts a conversation and when it is my turn to talk ignores me.
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It should irk you, because it is so disrespectful! He doesn’t appreciate the wonderful unique person you are, or the gift of your experiences that you have to share.

May God bless you with true friends. 🙂
 
Paying attention is an important part of any human relationship. If someone is not “present”, they are usually not interested with some exceptions: attention deficits, stressed, autism…sometimes it’s a good idea to just ask: “Are you busy?” “Would you prefer to be alone?” “Excuse me; I’ll leave you with your phone call”, and see how they respond.
 
Anglewannabe said:
OK, I feel like a silly teenager asking this, but I will anyway. I was at a party and I bumped into a man I know. (we are both in our 40s, ie why I feel silly asking this). He is usually the first to say ‘Hi’ to me and talk. If he didn’t like me, I assume he wouldn’t go out of his way to say ‘hi’. Well…he will tell me what is going on in his life and such. However, when I start to tell him about what is going on in mine, often before I finish a sentence, he will talk to someone else, check his phone or interrupt. It makes me feel like a babbling idiot since he obviously is not interested in what I have to say.

So, is shyness why he does this? Rudeness? The reason I ask is because I see how he looks at me and he at times appears interested. But then I think why wouldn’t he pay attention to what I say.

I know no one can tell me exactly what he is thinking, but a few opinions and (name removed by moderator)ut would be nice

Angie
Click to expand...
Angie, please, please don’t take it to mean anything negative about you. People being rude have that kind of effect on people who are kind. There are chances the other person is fidgety or has ADHD or something (in which case he may be kind actually but failing at the delivery), but there is of course a chance of simply rude behaviour.

Things like that wouldn’t fly where I live (except they do all the time and I’m just deluding myself). Not even my grandmother but actually my highschool lady friends wouldn’t’ve let me get away with something like that. It’s just unseemly, and something a polite person really, really shouldn’t do.

If you have any trace of attraction to that man, and I’m sensing that you might have some perhaps, you may need to let go of it. Men don’t get better manners when you start dating them, unless only briefly and it doesn’t last much past the wedding day (just speculating a bit here, not implying anything).
 
It does sound like he is interested in you…but only as long as you are listening to him talk about himself. Some people just love the sound of their own voice. Don’t waste your time with someone who doesn’t care what you have to say.
 
Anglewannabe said:
OK, I feel like a silly teenager asking this, but I will anyway. I was at a party and I bumped into a man I know. (we are both in our 40s, ie why I feel silly asking this). He is usually the first to say ‘Hi’ to me and talk. If he didn’t like me, I assume he wouldn’t go out of his way to say ‘hi’. Well…he will tell me what is going on in his life and such. However, when I start to tell him about what is going on in mine, often before I finish a sentence, he will talk to someone else, check his phone or interrupt. It makes me feel like a babbling idiot since he obviously is not interested in what I have to say.

So, is shyness why he does this? Rudeness? The reason I ask is because I see how he looks at me and he at times appears interested. But then I think why wouldn’t he pay attention to what I say.

I know no one can tell me exactly what he is thinking, but a few opinions and (name removed by moderator)ut would be nice

Angie
Click to expand...
Uh, he sounds like a typical, self-centered middle-aged bachelor. His mom loves to listen to him talk, so why wouldn’t other women?
 
Well, if he’s telling you how he’s doing, to me that pretty much eliminates any chance he’s shy. From what you described, it sounds like the kind of guys I’ve known before and he simply has no interest in having to hear about other people’s lives — to his type it’s “too much trouble” to have to listen to other people’s situations.

It’s good you found this out now, instead of getting involved and learning after there are feelings invested. … Stuff like that are one of the reasons why guys like him are single.

And even if he wasn’t rude enough to interrupt, that would not automatically mean that he wants to her other people.
Plus, telling off guys like him typically doesn’t help, as they tend not to care what others think.

You can’t teach a conscience into someone — either they have one, or they don’t.
 
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