Another wedding question

[saramichelle6]

I’m not Catholic yet, but am looking to go through RCIA in the fall. My boyfriend is Catholic and we’ve started talking about marriage. The church I go to requires someone to be a member for three months before marriage in the church. Here’s the question: I know that people usually get married in the bride’s church. I don’t want to get married in my hometown church because it’s not Catholic (and I don’t live there anymore). Do I get married in the Catholic church where I live now? Do I get married in the Catholic church where my boyfriend/will be fiance grew up? My mother is kind of upset I don’t want to get married in my hometown, too…

 

[JWC]

Typically weddings are held in the parish of which you are a registed member. Are you going to register as member of the parish where you’re doing RCIA? If so that would then be the “bride’s church”. If you want to get married in a different parish that should be coordinated through your pastor.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

I’m not Catholic yet, but am looking to go through RCIA in the fall. My boyfriend is Catholic and we’ve started talking about marriage. The church I go to requires someone to be a member for three months before marriage in the church. Here’s the question: I know that people usually get married in the bride’s church. I don’t want to get married in my hometown church because it’s not Catholic (and I don’t live there anymore). Do I get married in the Catholic church where I live now? Do I get married in the Catholic church where my boyfriend/will be fiance grew up? My mother is kind of upset I don’t want to get married in my hometown, too…

You didn’t grow up in a Catholic Parish, so I wouldn’t bother with the hometown parish, unless that’s where you’re going to be received into the Church? Other than that, I would chose between your boyfriends parish, or the one you’ll belong to after your married, if that’s possible.

God Bless
Jim

 

[1ke]

I’m not Catholic yet, but am looking to go through RCIA in the fall. My boyfriend is Catholic and we’ve started talking about marriage. The church I go to requires someone to be a member for three months before marriage in the church. Here’s the question: I know that people usually get married in the bride’s church. I don’t want to get married in my hometown church because it’s not Catholic (and I don’t live there anymore). Do I get married in the Catholic church where I live now? Do I get married in the Catholic church where my boyfriend/will be fiance grew up? My mother is kind of upset I don’t want to get married in my hometown, too…

You can get married in the parish where you will become a member or in his parish.

Canon Law instructs that the marriage take place in the parish of either party (bride or groom). If you want to marry elsewhere, you have to receive permission from your pastor to do so. It can be done, but it requires more coordination.

If you no longer live in your home town, I don’t see any reason to get married there, especially since you have no affiliation with that Catholic church.

The first step is to set up a meeting with your pastor or his pastor. Regardless of where you marry, you will need to go through marriage prep.

 

[dhgray]

God bless you for trying to do the right thing. I’d like to address a couple of things first.

1. WHY do you want to convert to Catholicism?

If you feel the Lord guiding you into the Church, follow with all your heart. However, if you are converting because of your boyfriend is Catholic – THEN DON’T. My conversion almost caused a divorce. My heart was not in the conversion and I resented her for years until we got spiritual help.

1. Which Church?

I suggest your boyfriends Church. Ok, you are on his turf but it’s a great way to earn “brownie” points with the MIL. It’s good to get her on your side. Normally it’s at the brides church since she pays for the wedding. Sorry mom, (as was the case of mine), but tell her you want to get married in the Catholic Church….however, she may way that you are paying for your own wedding.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I’m not Catholic yet, but am looking to go through RCIA in the fall. My boyfriend is Catholic and we’ve started talking about marriage. The church I go to requires someone to be a member for three months before marriage in the church. Here’s the question: I know that people usually get married in the bride’s church. I don’t want to get married in my hometown church because it’s not Catholic (and I don’t live there anymore). Do I get married in the Catholic church where I live now? Do I get married in the Catholic church where my boyfriend/will be fiance grew up? My mother is kind of upset I don’t want to get married in my hometown, too…

The idea of having the ceremony in the brides church assumes that it does not matter which church you marry in. For a Catholic. A Catholic should marry in a Catholic Church. If either the bride or groom is Catholic the wedding should take place in their Catholic church. If both are Catholic it could take place in either church but would usually take place in the brides Catholic church.

 

[saramichelle6]

1. WHY do you want to convert to Catholicism?

My boyfriend was certainly the catalyst. After much of my own prayer, reading and research, however, I’ve decided that this is waht I’m supposed to do. I’m having a hard time convincing my friends that it’s not only because this is the man I want to marry, but because it’s what God would want me to do.

 

[saramichelle6]

God bless you for trying to do the right thing. I’d like to address a couple of things first.

1. WHY do you want to convert to Catholicism?

My boyfriend was certainly the catalyst. After much of my own prayer, reading and research, however, I’ve decided that this is waht I’m supposed to do. I’m having a hard time convincing my friends that it’s not only because this is the man I want to marry, but because it’s what God would want me to do.

 

[dhgray]

My boyfriend was certainly the catalyst. After much of my own prayer, reading and research, however, I’ve decided that this is waht I’m supposed to do. I’m having a hard time convincing my friends that it’s not only because this is the man I want to marry, but because it’s what God would want me to do.

God bless you…what denomination are you converting from?

 

[saramichelle6]

God bless you…what denomination are you converting from?

A protestant denomination - Disciples of Christ. I have nothing bad to say about them. I grew up in the most loving church and the people are so wonderful. I grew to love God and Christ in this church. Catholicism is the next step for me, however. It sort of feels like graduating.

 

[Sarabande]

Yes… many blessings to you.

 

[dhgray]

A protestant denomination - Disciples of Christ. I have nothing bad to say about them. I grew up in the most loving church and the people are so wonderful. I grew to love God and Christ in this church. Catholicism is the next step for me, however. It sort of feels like graduating.

It’s good that you harbour no hard feelings for the DoC Church. If you have any questions about the conversion process, there are many of us converts here to help.

God Bless,

 

[nicolef]

I’m in a similar situation now too. I went through RCIA and was recieved into the Church in 2006. No one in my family is Catholic, but my sister did marry a Catholic! Due to my career, I’m living about 800miles from my hometown and I have no desire to go back there to be married in a parish that I didn’t belong to, nor do I feel like getting a dispensation to be married in the Protestant Church I grew up in.

My boyfriend/fiance and his entire family are Catholic. So many people questioned my motivations for converting, and I had to do some soul-searching myself. I came to realize that I’ve always been “Catholic”, I just didn’t know it. I thank God for bringing a wonderful, faithful man into my life to help show me the way home.

Blessings to you!