Another what would you do situation

[masondoggy]

Yes…that is what I had been doing…but I feel really relly funny about the teaching a class together part. I think it’s inappropriate for this to be happening, especially since my chidren know the ex-wife so well…and are questioning. The divorce just happened last winter…it is a bit confusing to them…

I think for this reason you should say something to your priest, in the context that this is causing a scandal, particularly for your children who were very close to the situation.

There probably isn’t anything wrong with them teaching the class together, AS LONG AS they are not presenting themselves as a couple to the class. That’s where the problem is and in that case the priest has an obligation to do something about this class.

Other than that, there’s really not much you can do but pray for the situation.

I understand your frustration here. We have a lesbian couple in our parish. “They” have a couple kids, one who is in DS’s grade. At his First Communion, they both came up to the alter with him as his “parents”. I was horrified and disgusted.

We shouldn’t have to explain these situations to our kids at Church! It’s bad enough the trash is all around us, we need a break in our Catholic community.

 

[Lillith]

Again IF IF these 2 individuals are in the process of getting an annulment (which no one knows). IF IF they are in fact dating (Which no one knows). Why doesn’t the OP just ask them?

It does not matter if they are in the process of annulment or not. How does that change the fact that they should not be dating? A person is not free to date until the declaration of nullity is finalized. Because I was friends with the man and his ex-wife, and I have knowledge that the divorce was finalized last winter and the proceedings take 12 to 18 months, I can assume. Since they are teaching CCD together…they give me the right to.

I can conclude that they are dating because that is the evidence that they present. Surely people who caress each other during Church (I don’t even do that with my Husband) and kiss in the parking lot after Church…are dating. If they are not, that is just weird, as it leaves an impression. Again…they opened themselves to scrutiny when they start teaching CCD.

As far as asking them I have tried, at the moment they treat me as if I’m contagious. I know why this is…I have had conversations with both parties about the annulment process. I encouraged them to start the paperwork…out of concern. I myself went through the process and I explained how healing it can be.

Why all the cloak and dagger stuff with going to The Pastor? if the OP is so busy monitoring their movments in Church then why not just ask them?

This I laughed out loud about. It is exactly the reason I wanted to write a letter…I knew when I asked this question on this forum somone would call me a busybody…nosy…a spy…the moral police. I really wanted to avoid that. I am not that person…but when they started teaching CCD, and when my children noticed and questioned it became my business.

 

[Lillith]

The OP suspects that it is inappropriate for a married woman to be caressed by a man who is not her husband. This is particularly bad that this occurs in Church and gives scandal to her children. If these 3 married individuals choose to “date” publicly, they should not be serving in public teaching roles within the parish.

To the OP…This should be addressed with the pastor because you should be concerned at the example this sets for your children and the children of the parish.

I am going to a private confession this Saturday…and I have decided to talk to Father…thank you all for the advice…I have opted not to be a chicken poop

 

[goodcatholicman]

I would “divorce” myself from the situation in terms of being involved but given the Father has had a rough year he may not know what is going on. I would speak to him candidly but be emotionally detached as though you were reporting for a newspaper. Just the facts and let the Father respond and handle the situation accordingly. What he does isn’t any of your business. You are simply doing your due diligence on behalf of your children. As an adult you know these situations get kinda tricky sometimes. Harder for a child to understand. Then leave it alone, pray for the couple and their families and go on being nice to them.

 

[Sr_Sally]

I am going to write an annonomous letter to Father…

I would not make the letter anonymous. Since the divorced wife is your child’s confirmation sponsor this directly affects your family. I would speak to your priest from the angle of how this is affecting your children. That is your first concern. Your priest will be able to take it from there as to the scandal they may be bringing to other members of the parish (if their teaching together is causing a scandal) and their sin (whatever it may be).

 

[Sr_Sally]

I am going to a private confession this Saturday…and I have decided to talk to Father…thank you all for the advice…I have opted not to be a chicken poop

Wonderful! I hope you get good advice as to how to approach your children with this issue.