Another work situatin post

[Indigo_Cardinal]

When one of my employees resigns I give them their next two weeks pay, show them the door and wish them well. I don’t like having people on staff who are leaving

My experiences have been largely different. I’ve usually been told to go ahead and stay out the two weeks (only exception was when I was going to a competitor). In one case, I was okayed to stay an extra three weeks when there was a snag with the start date on my next job.

In cases where I didn’t resign (my field suffered a lot of layoffs for a few years there), there was one company that advised that my position had been eliminated, but asked if I’d stay the next two weeks. I thought they were nuts–I had access to a lot of systems and could have done a lot of damage if so inclined that they wouldn’t have figured out for months to come. (I wasn’t bitter at the company–they’d gone into bankruptcy, not much point in being angry at that stage of the game.) The company later recovered and I got hired on three years later–turned out a lot of people remembered me and were excited to have me back. In another case where I got laid off, nobody bothered to watch over me as I packed up my stuff and walked out…without realizing that I’d inadvertently taken paperwork authorizing badges for field techs (which meant I had a lot of personal information–birthdates, SSNs, you name it, and again, could have done damage if so inclined.) I’d gotten hired on at another company the next week, and was unpacking my stuff and found the paperwork. I called my old manager to let him know, and we met for lunch so I could give him back all the paperwork.

There was only one case where I got walked out, and I can’t say I’m sorry for that. I guess everybody has that one boss from hell, and this guy was it. He was so smug when he walked me out, being snide and snotty and thinking he’d wrecked my life. Guess he got the shock of a lifetime when I got hired by another company the next week for more money than what he’d been paying me.

 

[Anglewannabe]

She could also make it so the OP never gets a good reference from her current place of employment.

It really isn’t wise to burn bridges.

In Canada companies are NOT allowed to give references so that isn’t really a concern

 

[Anglewannabe]

. When your supervisor started to encourage you to learn it, anyway, though, it was time to clue in that your current supervisor wants you to learn this whether you feel like it or not.

In a perfect situation I would agree. However, I have worked for this lady long enough to know that her asking me to learn a task really means ‘Angie, can I stand over you shoulder and breathe down your neck and push your buttons for 45 minutes’

At some point, I need to use my judgement and it is better to do what perhaps is not what a model employee would do, yet it would spare me from being tempted to blow my lid

 

[Anglewannabe]

Your employer was trying to tell you something about yourself as a helping point.

What was she trying to tell me??? She asked me to watch my attitude and I apologized and told her I understood her wanting to keep a positive atmosphere for the rest of the team. Then she spent 20 minutes carrying on about she was concerned for me and wanted me to be happy? What was her wanting me to be happy telling me???

 

[Anglewannabe]

However, the tone of this post seems to wreak of negativity. .

huh? I gave my notice 1 week ago and it was a 5 minute conversation that my manager started? I put that I was trying to be considerate of others feelings (positive), I put that my manager started the conversations ie I did not initiated it (positive) and I told her I understood her concern (positive again)

.

I’ll have to say, I’m disappointed.

Are you scolding me like a 5 year old

 

[Anglewannabe]

Let’s not be too hard on Angie.

Her issues with this manager have been well documented here and I don’t think we need to be too “disappointed” in her that she let her frustration affect her a little bit in these circumstances.

Thank you It is nice to know someone agrees I am human

I do agree that intergrity requires you to do the job just as well now as before. Do your work well and respect managements requests of you - not neccessarily because they are sensible or optimal, but because they are paying you a fair wage for the use of your time, as they see fit (within reason of course).

As much as I see your point, it has also been my experience that if something is a waste of time or just not efficient, a good employee speaks up and does what they believe is best for the company and then management weights what the employee says before making a decision. For example, when I told my manager it would not be worth my time to learn, she dropped it. Had she insisted I learn then I would agree I should do it.

 

[Anglewannabe]

What concern? It sounds like she is annoyed that you have found another job and will be leaving soon and she will be stuck finding someone else to take over your duties, not your problem. Don’t be surprised if this was just the first of several such conversations in the next couple of weeks.

Thank you. I think you are the only one who really understood my question.

The whole point of this post was NOT to ask if I did something wrong, I admitting in the OP that I knew the team needs a positive atmosphere. The question I had is 'Why would my manager carrying on for 20 minutes (when she is supposedly busy) about how all she wants is my happiness? The woman has been so manipulative and illogical it is really hard to take her seriously when half of what she says is nonsense

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

What was she trying to tell me??? She asked me to watch my attitude and I apologized and told her I understood her wanting to keep a positive atmosphere for the rest of the team. Then she spent 20 minutes carrying on about she was concerned for me and wanted me to be happy? What was her wanting me to be happy telling me???

I am glad you are getting a fresh start. I hope your new job goes well. I shall be leaving your thread now.

 

[mommy_k]

You are leaving so I would not give this supervisor any ammunition to bad mouth you to the company. For now-remain professional, and that means keeping emotions out of it.

To try and figure out why she called you over is a waste of time. She may just be wacky for all you know.

For your next position, you may want to read how to manage up–meaning finding out how to manage your manager-

Good luck in your new postition-

 

[maryjk]

In Canada companies are NOT allowed to give references so that isn’t really a concern

Then aren’t you very lucky?

Of course that doesn’t stop people from talking about you and your work habits.

 

[PhiloMed]

What was she trying to tell me??? She asked me to watch my attitude and I apologized and told her I understood her wanting to keep a positive atmosphere for the rest of the team. Then she spent 20 minutes carrying on about she was concerned for me and wanted me to be happy? What was her wanting me to be happy telling me???

You’re obviously very concrete in your thinking and understanding of interacting with others. I imagine this causes difficulties for you and is what created many of the other issues you had with this manager.

I hope you have a clean slate in your next position, but if issues begin to arise you should consider that if you’re 2/2 maybe it’s not always them.

 

[EasterJoy]

What was she trying to tell me??? She asked me to watch my attitude and I apologized and told her I understood her wanting to keep a positive atmosphere for the rest of the team. Then she spent 20 minutes carrying on about she was concerned for me and wanted me to be happy? What was her wanting me to be happy telling me???

She may have been telling herself that she was lecturing you for your benefit, rather than because you irked her, because she thinks that her contribution to help a situation is proportional to how much time she spends on it, or who knows what. I think you know enough about this manager to know that you’ll get nowhere by trying to figure her out. You two are not on the same wavelength.

Keep it simple. She didn’t like it that you weren’t willing to learn something new. Fine–learn something new. Do not give all your reasons for your initial decision. Just say, “I’m sorry, if you want me to learn it, I’ll go learn it.” If she asks why you didn’t want to learn it, just say, “If you want me to learn, it’s not important. I’ll go learn it.” Then cheerfully go learn it. Done!

Remember that she can’t take your decision to go find another job as a particularly good reflection on her as a boss. Lie low except to bend over backwards to do your work conscientiously, thoroughly, and cheerfully. Then on your last day, have a big celebration with one of your friends as soon as you are safely out of there. Hope that you will not have to work for her again. (But remember that anything is possible. You two might see each other again in Purgatory! )

 

[alphawoman]

In Canada companies are NOT allowed to give references so that isn’t really a concern

Canadian here. The above isn’t true.

Some companies choose to adopt a policy of not offering references (even positive ones), but that decision is discretionary. Providing or withholding professional references when solicited by a former employee is within the legal rights of companies.

Even for companies that don’t offer references, industry networks are small, and there are ways to share information. Speaking from a professional services perspective, the major players know each other and communicate informally. All it takes is Susan from Company X and Pierre from Company Y chatting over drinks to share information about who the good prospective hires are, with the others not being considered.

As a manager, I would have been unimpressed at an employee effectively back-talking and turning down a reasonable request to work. It’s unprofessional and conveys a message of irresponsibility. The interaction from the side of the manager was strange, admittedly, and not having the courtesy to speak face to face when issuing an assignment is odd interpersonal behaviour. But, by the same token, you are called as a paid employee and Catholic to put forward your best effort at work as a witness to the values of your faith. In retrospect, after getting this feedback, would you choose to behave differently in future? I think that is the key as you embark on a new job.

 

[Anglewannabe]

She may have been telling herself that she was lecturing you for your benefit, rather than because you irked her, because she thinks that her contribution to help a situation is proportional to how much time she spends on it, or who knows what.

So in other words, she was really talking to herself trying to make herself feel better and not really all that concerned about me?

. (But remember that anything is possible. You two might see each other again in Purgatory! )

To be honest, I would be glad to see her in purgatory because it will mean 2 things

1-) I am in purgatory therefor I will eventually be in heaven with my Father

2-) we will both have succeeded in bringing each other to God

 

[Anglewannabe]

You’re obviously very concrete in your thinking and understanding of interacting with others. I imagine this causes difficulties for you and is what created many of the other issues you had with this manager.

.

you quoted my question but never answered it? How is agreeing with her that I should not be creating a negative atmosphere being concrete in my thinking? Concrete in my thinking would be to disagree with her, which I did not do.

Please answer my question ‘what was she trying to tell me?’

 

[pianistclare]

Angie, I think you need to let this go.
We don’t always need to be right.
She wanted to be right.
You want to be right.
One of you has to be wrong.
At this point, it doesn’t really matter.
Good luck in the new position. Make a clean start. Be flexible and enthusiastic.
God bless.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Speaking from a professional services perspective, .

Just curious but are you a head hunter?

All it takes is Susan from Company X and Pierre from Company Y chatting over drinks to share information about who the good prospective hires are, with the others not being considered…

True but if Susan was my manager and Pierre asked for her opinion, perhaps Pierre would not be a good person for me to report to.

. But, by the same token, you are called as a paid employee and Catholic to put forward your best effort at work as a witness to the values of your faith. In retrospect, after getting this feedback, would you choose to behave differently in future? I think that is the key as you embark on a new job.

The only thing I would do differently is word it more appropriately. I really need to look at the whole picture. I know in the bottom of my heart had I agreed to learn the new task, I would have been setting myself up to have her over my shoulder for hours pushing my buttons. It would have been a great challenge to not blow my lid at heart.

As a Catholic, I do believe I work for God. Which is also why I believe that if God puts it in my heart to go to confession over this and repent in my heart and I do it, God will take care of me. Perhaps not the way society defines taking care of me

Angie

 

[alphawoman]

Just curious but are you a head hunter?

No, but I have completed several courses in organizational behaviour (human resources and the psychology of groups) in fulfillment of a graduate degree that would qualify me to be a headhunter. I also have friends who own or manage headhunting businesses, and I advised one friend on his business strategy, so it’s a field I’m familiar with.
angelwannabe:

True but if Susan was my manager and Pierre asked for her opinion, perhaps Pierre would not be a good person for me to report to.

Hiring managers who are not like Pierre represent maybe 10% of the market in professional services. I would not recommend anyone seek employment with a manager who does not make every effort to make an informed hire. Consulting informal networks is a good way to assess goodness of fit of candidates on intangible or qualitative measures. Not taking this effort signals to me two things:

1. The employer is not concerned about creating an optimal match between the job and employee, and
2. The employer is comfortable cutting corners on important issues

The employers worth working for are the ones who don’t skimp on due diligence.
angelwannabe:

The only thing I would do differently is word it more appropriately. I really need to look at the whole picture. I know in the bottom of my heart had I agreed to learn the new task, I would have been setting myself up to have her over my shoulder for hours pushing my buttons. It would have been a great challenge to not blow my lid at heart.

As a Catholic, I do believe I work for God. Which is also why I believe that if God puts it in my heart to go to confession over this and repent in my heart and I do it, God will take care of me. Perhaps not the way society defines taking care of me

Angie

Gently, I think you should take some time when the exchange is less raw and revisit your approach. When you are being paid to do a job, and you refuse to do part of it (which is legal and doesn’t violate your deeply held beliefs) despite repeated requests from your employer, that is a problem. It will be a problem anywhere you work, even if you work for someone who you admire and respect. Legally, it is grounds for dismissal.

On the flip side, enthusiastically accepting reasonable assignments and showing a willingness to learn–even when you see no direct benefit to you–is an excellent way to become a valued team member. It engenders goodwill and gives you more social capital to negotiate your work flow with your boss. It’s also a great nod to your faith, because we Catholics love to work for the common good!

Now, that being said, I understand the frustration you must feel at being micro-managed. That is infuriating. If you find yourself with another manager who also micro-manages, I’d recommend you schedule a time-bound meeting for instruction in new tasks in your boss’ office, ideally with an agenda and preferably right before your boss has another meeting scheduled, then go perform the work independently in your office. That way, you get to put endpoints on the micromanaging, and your boss feels heard. Book a 5 or 10 minute meeting at the end of the day with your manager to check in with a status update. It will reassure your boss. A reassured micromanager will be more likely to get off your back.

If you really want to go above and beyond, you could be super proactive and schedule a weekly lunch-and-learn session with your boss, even implement an office-wide training program and teach colleagues. That would show great initiative, and you’d be saving future colleagues time and frustration, and save your company training costs and lower error rates!

 

[maryjk]

you quoted my question but never answered it? How is agreeing with her that I should not be creating a negative atmosphere being concrete in my thinking? Concrete in my thinking would be to disagree with her, which I did not do.

Please answer my question ‘what was she trying to tell me?’

PhiloMed’s point was that no matter what someone here says, if it isn’t in total agreement with what you are already thinking, they are wrong.

The concrete thinking was your attitude here.

 

[alphawoman]

OT: maryjk, I’m loving your Thatcher quote!