Anti-Catholic Colleague at Work

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Rose71

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I have recently taken up a short term contract. Ideally, I would like to secure a permanent job with this firm.

I’ve only been there a fortnight and everyone is very friendly and helpful. The problem is one person. She has been very helpful explaining things about the job and has allways been very cheerful and friendly towards me. However, last week, another colleague mentioned he was going to spend the evening with his local (Anglican) vicar and his wife. This set her off on a bit of a diatribe about she had never come accross a nice vicar. Another colleague told her to stop being so judgemental, as there were surely some good, nice religious people. ‘Well, not Catholic priests!’ she said “They are all paedophiles!” - and so she went on - generally proclaiming that Catholics were a rather perverted bunch:(

The following day, at lunch, she had another pop at Catholics, making fun of the Friday abstinence from eating meat. It wasn’t vitriolic this time - but she just made it clear she found the whole idea rather stupid.

She is one of those people who I think talks before engaging her brain and as I said, she has been very helpful and friendly towards me personally. However, I now feel that if I mention I’m a Catholic, she will either get all upset that nobody told her before she accused us all of being perverts with strange dietary issues - or start trying to question me all the time on subjects like abortion and contraception.

My plan is to just carry on being friendly towards her and let her see that I am actually a relatively normal human being who is prepared to listen to other people’s point of view, even if I end up agreeing to disagree (and that this can be done civilly) Two of my colleagues I have known for a while and they know I am a practicing Catholic, so I am sure it is only a matter of time before the news reaches her.

The firm has a policy against discrimination and harassment on the ground of race, sexual orientation and religion and gender, so technically, I could complain about her - but I do not think this will achieve anything other than create a bad atmosphere.

How do you deal with people like this? Do you ignore them, or take them aside and have a private word, saying that you respect the fact they are entitled to their views, but that work is not the place to air them?
 
Normally, I’d ignore the behavior as it seems to be for attention and feeding into it would give the self-rigious power.

However, In this case, I’d think I’d take her aside and tell her while she’s entitled to her opinions you’d prefer if she’d not air her grievances with the Catholic church around you. I’d personally start asking her about her faith, and asking if you’ve ever done anything that offended her faith.
 
It depends on your personality really…
I personally thrive on discussions like this. :D… using a lot of lines like “Prove it!” or “Can I please see the actual evidence for that?” and “Can you show me which document you’re referring to?”
Obviously, there in confusion behind her statements and not any actual data - so maybe God put you in that situation to open her eyes a little about the TRUTH! 😉
Be kind in ALL discussions with her, but be open to putting on your detective hat and becoming an apologist! If she asks questions don’t hesitate to say “Let me look up the exact wording of what the Church teaches, I don’t want to misrepresent anything.”… then grab your Catechism (you DO have a copy, right?.. or find it online) and do your research. USE the footnotes and the references - then go search for the ACTUAL documents they refer you to - scripture, encyclicals, and letters - go find those sources!
Again, if you have nothing to fear (since you KNOW her statements are unfounded) then don’t fear it! Just be willing to share the TRUTH!
Good luck and prayers for you! Sometimes God puts us in certain situations for a reason! 😉
 
If you owned this company, would you want to be aware an employee is violating the rules of your business?

Is it only okay to sit by and let this person make bigotted statements about religion, what about when the next employee makes vulgar sexual comments, another begins to make racial prejudice norm. As a trustworthy emoloyee, I will follow the proper channels to make sure the rules are followed at work, all of them.
 
***I agree with kage. I don’t think you need to be running down to HR YET, but I’d make it known to her that you are Catholic, that if she’d like to ever learn about the faith, you would welcome a conversation OUTSIDE of work. Work isn’t the place to have these debates. We have a wonderful Bible group here that started last year, at lunch time…but it is Bible based…and more of a prayer group than anything. There is no talk of specific religions, so it works.

Don’t be afraid to defend your faith, Rose. I know you want this job, and don’t want to make waves, but standing by while someone says that all priests are pedophiles…well, it would have been good for you to speak up right then and there. Not judging you, just a friendly suggestion for the next time you ever encounter this…be strong. God has your back! 🙂

If after she finds out that you are Catholic, (after you bring it up to her)…and she continues, then I’d talk to HR about her behavior. I agree with kage…suppose the next employee who is Catholic comes in, and hears this, quits and sues the company for a huge amount of money, and many people get laid off over the lawsuit? And then the lawyer gets to you, and you have to tell the truth that you in fact heard the employee bashing Catholics. It DOES happen, every day. That is why the company has a staunch policy, so people feel free to come forward, and this protects the company.

Praying for you in this situation ***
 
I have a neighbor who told me how much he hated looking out his second story window into the backyard of his neighbor’s next door. He couldn’t stand the site of the Mary Shrine they have. “I just don’t get those Mary worshipers!” Imagine the look on his face, when I informed him that I too was a Catholic.😃

Anyway, we now have an ongoing dialogue about the Catholic church, and, he even watches shows on EWTN.

I would definitely let this co-worker know that you are Catholic. She might find herself a bit embarrassed and she might stop making these comments. You might even offer to clarify a few things for her since she has obviously learned all the wrong things about Catholicism. This doesn’t have to be confrontational, but you should let her know you are Catholic at the very least.
 
Your loving witness can destroy the false stereotypes this woman has adopted!

Be honest, direct and joyful in your defense of our beautiful Catholic Faith.

Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, Ora Pro Nobis Peccatoribus!

Mark
 
I would have said something immediately. Like, “Maybe you might want to consider that you never know when there is a Catholic around,” with either a knowing smile and wink or an expression that made clear my disdain for her bigotry… whichever seemed more appropriate at the time. Responses like that usually shut people up pretty fast, because people like her are cowards.

Informing her that pedophile priests never represented a higher rate than is found in broader society and telling her that if she can prove otherwise you are willing to look at her sources would have been good, too.

I don’t understand why people don’t speak up in situations like this. Are you truly a Catholic, ready to defend the Church? Do we speak up about our faith only when it is easy? When there are Catholics dying for their faith everyday in Asia and the Middle East, the least we could do is suffer some social discomfort on behalf of our Church and our Savior.
 
Mermaid_Mama said:
I would have said something immediately. Like, “Maybe you might want to consider that you never know when there is a Catholic around,” with either a knowing smile and wink or an expression that made clear my disdain for her bigotry… whichever seemed more appropriate at the time. Responses like that usually shut people up pretty fast, because people like her are cowards.

Informing her that pedophile priests never represented a higher rate than is found in broader society and telling her that if she can prove otherwise you are willing to look at her sources would have been good, too.

I don’t understand why people don’t speak up in situations like this. Are you truly a Catholic, ready to defend the Church? Do we speak up about our faith only when it is easy? When there are Catholics dying for their faith everyday in Asia and the Middle East, the least we could do is suffer some social discomfort on behalf of our Church and our Savior.
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The reasons I did not speak up immediately were:
  1. I knew nothing about this person, really. For all I knew, a family member could have been the victim of abuse, or she might have grown up in a very anti-Catholic culture, or maybe (yes - it happens) been hardened against Catholics due to the way in which Catholicism had been explained to her in the past. To retaliate with a smart response, designed to belittle (if only a bit) would be unfair and could have possibly dragged the whole office into a debate and made others uncomfortable, which is not what we were there for.
  2. I would actually rather let her get to know me and see that I am a good, dependable and kind person - without her prejudices clouding her judgement of me. I am sure eventually, it will come out in conversation that I am a Catholic - but I’d much rather my actions demonstrated what kind of a person I am in the meantime, so that when she finds out she is not put on the defensive, but happy to accept me for what I am without confrontation.
  3. If she wants to debate specific matters, I’d be willing to do so, but not at work, as this is not appropriate use of work-time. It is stealing from my employers, which is wrong.
There is a vast difference between living your life in faith and putting the needs of others first, as opposed to thoughtless provocation to score cheap point, without actually questioning what evil act or untruths have motivated the aggressor in the first place.

I have to look at the whole person, and be thankful for the kindness she has shown me in other ways - not look for faults. Rest assured, she will one day concede that there is some point to Catholicism, but this will never be achieved through subtle put-downs or winning a ‘smart’-battle by overwhelming her with facts. You can train a parrot to quote doctrine!
 
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