Anti-catholic comments on Facebook

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Planet_Claire

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Sigh. I’m sure I’m not the only one whose dealt with this. It’s just so sad and upsetting to see formerly Catholic family members post anti-Catholic stereotypes and misquotes on their Facebook page about the Church, and then let their friends make really off-color priest jokes. (The typical sexual stuff, tied in with HIV, just sick jokes.) And these “jokes” happen on Ash Wednesday no less.

I left a comment gently saying the quote was taken out of context. I then called the person to say that I was personally offended by the priest jokes. This is a very close family member whom I love. Yet their Facebook persona is anti-Catholic and anti-Christian. It’s so hard to reconcile this person with the stuff they put up there. I never pressure this person to go back to the Church in any way, but I can’t ignore the anti-Catholic comments anymore.

We talked and ended things on an ok note, but I’m sure those priest jokes will still be there on their wall tomorrow. Gee, I’m so glad this family member is Facebook friends with my in-laws. And more anti-Catholic (and anti-Christian) comments will probably be on the way too. I know people can say pretty much whatever they want on their wall, but what do I do, as a Catholic? Refute every anti-Catholic comment I see? I don’t have the time or the apologetics skills to do this, nor do I think Facebook is the right place for religious debate. Do I unfriend my own family member? Get off Facebook completely? (Tempting; it really adds nothing to my life and I’m not on it much anyway.)

I know I shouldn’t let it upset me, but I guess the timing of it being on Ash Wednesday was especially sad. And the creepy feeling that this family member, who loves me, hates my religion so much that it’s fair game for his friends to make disgusting, untrue jokes. The same type of jokes about Islam, Judaism or any other religion wouldn’t be tolerated, but anti-catholic jokes are ok. And whenever I say anything, all this person does is quote from the New York Times or bring up the pedophile scandals.

Maybe I’m just venting, I know there’s no perfect answer. If it weren’t a very close family member, I’d quietly unfriend them and just let it go.
 
Cut them off facebook if you’re not comfortable getting rid of yours. There’s nothing wrong with unfriending family. My sister and I have a very close relationship but she won’t add me because she wants privacy with her friends away from families prying eyes, and thats perfectly ok. Facebook is definitely not the place for a religious debate so I’d cut all the waste off your facebook page and move on.
 
What would happen if you called this person a bigot during one of these discussions, on their wall for everyone to see. I know this is childish but so is their behaviour. Maybe they’ll get the message.

My brother used to write anti-Christian stuff on his wall and on several occasions I engaged in a discussion with him. One time my Hindu friend joined and gave him a link for a Catholic source to check his facts. He dropped it after that. 😃

If you don’t want to argue and play games, just close your account. If your family member asks why, tell them the truth. They might be surprised.
 
I’m getting a ton of this with the HHS stuff now especially. I’m choosing to ignore it. Surprisingly some non-Catholic Facebook friends have been quite defensive of the faith when others have chosen to attack Catholicism on my page.

I would ignore and carry on.
 
I’m in pretty much the same boat. I see the nasty comments, the jokes about priests and altar boys, the pro-abortion, pro-HHS comments and the touting of lies and misinformation. The vast majority comes not just from cradle Catholics, but family members who are cradle Catholics. I updated my settings for the worst of the bunch so that now I only get whatever Facebook determines to be their important updates (amusingly, this means I don’t get any of their status updates anymore). It makes checking Facebook a lot less stressful.
 
I hear ya!

What concerns me the most is deciding where my responsibility lies in responding. I don’t want to sit idly by and say nothing, but I have a hard time coming up with a response that is short, informative, and charitable. If I can think of something I will add it.

A link to correct information is a great idea. It gets the point across. It also lets “someone else do the talking”. I think people are more open to that, rather than their “friend” making a “judgement”. That is how people usually see a personal response.
 
Answer them with love and not anger or bitterness. Unfriending people because you don’t like what they have to say is not going to accomplish anything.
 
I’m sure you didn’t open a facebook account to constantly deal with anti-Catholic or other offensive comments, did you?

You have the right to enjoy your facebook account without having to read anti-Catholic comments from others!!

You don’t have to unfriend them, but you most certainly can “block” them from posting on your wall and you can unsubscribe from receiving their status updates (posts) in your newsfeed if you feel awkward “ditching” them on facebook!
 
Planet_Claire said:
I know I shouldn’t let it upset me, but I guess the timing of it being on Ash Wednesday was especially sad. And the creepy feeling that this family member, who loves me, hates my religion so much that it’s fair game for his friends to make disgusting, untrue jokes. The same type of jokes about Islam, Judaism or any other religion wouldn’t be tolerated, but anti-catholic jokes are ok.
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I feel the same way about family and friends who hate my religion and say so openly. It is awful. OK, family, I’m stuck with them, but friends…are we really friends? Sad as it is, I don’t trust these ‘friends’, I always wonder what they say about my back, since they are openly hateful on FB.
 
I would unfriend them in a heartbeat! If you don’t, you are tacitly giving them a forum. If you are connected to your in-laws, ICK, just ICK. Dump them and don’t look back. If it causes a firestorm, oh well.

That is just me though. I really have a problem with people who create the chaos and then blame everyone else for it.
 
Thanks so much for all the responses. I can relate to them all and I am tempted to do a little of all of them somehow, but that wouldn’t be possible. Glad I’m not alone in this. I don’t use FB to proselytize in any way, but it’s sad that I can’t avoid the anti-Catholic stuff from my own family.
What would happen if you called this person a bigot during one of these discussions
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This person, J, doesn’t have any Christian friends as far as I can tell. From the flavor of other postings and friends, I get the feeling I would be seen as the crazy religious person who wants to hold back women’s rights and enslave society to the Church. I just don’t think I’d have any impact. I know J thinks my husband and I are good people, and I thought J at least respected our religion enough not to let people say mistruths and jokes about it. I see now I was wrong. So I guess I have to mourn that impression in a way. If someone says they respect your faith, but lets others post mean-spirited sick things about it, it’s not respect. It was just ugly to see that side of the person, whom I know loves me very much and whom I love as well.
What concerns me the most is deciding where my responsibility lies in responding. I don’t want to sit idly by and say nothing, but I have a hard time coming up with a response that is short, informative, and charitable.
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Yes! That’s where I struggle, that balance. Then again, if J’s friend is going to post priest jokes, does that deserve any type of reply? I think I’ll let that one go since I don’t even know J’s friend. Do these people not realize that bosses, coworkers and so on can see this stuff? They are not teens in high school.
you can unsubscribe from receiving their status updates (posts) in your newsfeed
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Good idea. I was poking around FB last night and discovered this option. I changed it so I just get the important things and I may block J’s notes from showing on my wall altogether if need be. I wish somehow I could block his anti-Catholic comments from mutual family and friends, but I guess if it offends them, it’s their choice how to deal with it. Of course some of what he wrote will just make it harder for me to deal with the other people who harbor anti-Catholic beliefs.

There’s still the option of quitting FB, since I don’t think it’s really added much value to my life and has shown me an ugly side to some people, which I didn’t know was there. I don’t check my account much and had no idea that someone in my immediate family was posting these things and letting friends post even worse. I have to just remember that I know and love the real-life J, not Facebook J, who seems to be an angrier person than the thoughtful, intelligent person I know in real life. So strange that they are one and the same person!

Thanks for the thoughtful replies. We’ll see how things go. I guess I need to detach for now but it’s hard, because it’s not just a friend, it’s immediate family.

Edited to add: Then there’s this very, very good point:
you are tacitly giving them a forum. If you are connected to your in-laws, ICK, just ICK.
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Lots to think about. Earlier this morning, I did copy a couple a photos I wanted off my wall, so I can delete my account without losing them. By the way, J said that other people have unfriended J for certain comments (though J didn’t mention that they cited religious reasons). I don’t think J would be upset if I did an unfriend too. Will definitely ponder this…am I giving a forum and tacitly showing agreement by not disagreeing to every anti-Catholic comment? Food for thought.
 
Planet_Claire said:
Will definitely ponder this…am I giving a forum and tacitly showing agreement by not disagreeing to every anti-Catholic comment? Food for thought.
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I think it depends on the person posting it, who they are, whether they are close to you.
I have defriended a good number of people whose posts I found offensive for a variety of reasons. This purge of nastiness and filth makes logging onto FB a pleasant experience.
 
If FB is causing you sadness and grief, just quit! There are other ways to stay in contact with family and (real) friends. I quit FB last Lent, and I haven’t missed it. It was actually quite a relief to sign off. 🙂
 
That is why I hate FB. :rolleyes: I gave it up for lent again this year.

I don’t participate…just read whats going on with family/friends. However, I am so disgusted with the comments toward Catholics (is it just me, or does it seem like the whole world hates us??) 🤷
 
dailey said:
That is why I hate FB. :rolleyes: I gave it up for lent again this year.

I don’t participate…just read whats going on with family/friends. However, I am so disgusted with the comments toward Catholics (is it just me, or does it seem like the whole world hates us??) 🤷
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Consider the company you keep on FB. The Church is the Mystical Body of Christ, and we are members of the Church. If they hate the Church, they hate you and they hate Christ. Love your enemies, but be careful about who you befriend on FB. 😉
 
You need to block them from showing up on your news feed. They’ll still be your friend, so it isn’t as offensive, but you won’t be subjected to what they have to say.

Then leave them a comment on their wall saying something like “Hey, I just wanted you to know that because checking Facebook was getting to be tiring a changed my settings so that I’m not faced with a lot of political stuff I don’t agree with. That way there’s less stress and fewer arguments. But if you ever have any news you want to share with me feel free to leave me a comment or send me a message! You know I can’t go too long without updates on my nieces/nephews/etc”

That way you relieve yourself and let them know that you will no longer be their audience, without hurting family relations.
 
dailey said:
That is why I hate FB. :rolleyes: I gave it up for lent again this year.

I don’t participate…just read whats going on with family/friends. However, I am so disgusted with the comments toward Catholics **(is it just me, or does it seem like the whole world hates us??) **🤷
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While I believe there’s plenty of genuine anti-Catholic sentiment to go around, I think there’s also a lot of lukewarm Catholics out there who go along with and add to the sentiment just because they don’t want to go against the crowd. I have a friend who goes to Mass semi-regularly, sends his kids to CCD and acts sincere around others who are more openly faithful, but as soon as his friends and coworkers start up with the Catholic bashing, he’s righ there telling pedophile priest jokes, talking about how wrong the Church is, and generally trying to out-do the comments from his. The fact that he remembers just enough from his Catholic school days to make himself (to them) sound like he knows what he’s talking about makes it far worse than hearing from the completely ignorant anti-Catholics. It’s real easy to refute someone who claims the pope wears that big hat due to the arcane, cannibalistic ceremony that causes his horns to grow; it’s less easy to refute someone who’s arguing with a grain of truth and then getting similarly ignorant Catholics jumping in to defend him.
 
You don’t need to keep someone on your “friends” list when they persist in posting offensive material after you’ve discussed your concerns with them. You can, as another poster suggested, keep them as “friends” but refrain from receiving updates.
 
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