Anti-Catholic Family

[rosary_for_life]

Hi!

Does anyone else have extended family who are very vocally secular, anti-Church, anti-religion, anti-pro-life, against the politicians you support, etc? What do you do when your children have to be around them?

Thank you!

 

[kage_ar]

Refuse to argue. Drop political conversations like a hot potato. Be the best example of a loving, informed, intelligent Christian you can be. Be full of joy, and they will want what YOU have.

 

[marlybruce]

I have an anti-Catholic husband. I avoid as much as possible, confrontations about the Church. I believe my loving witness is the best thing I can do. The best response when he says things I disagree with is either humor, or a brief response that does not show that anything has “gotten to me.” I remind myself that the gates of hell will not prevail against His church…and even if I remain silent, the Lord will prevail!

 

[danaemariejoan]

I have an anti-Catholic husband. I avoid as much as possible, confrontations about the Church. I believe my loving witness is the best thing I can do. The best response when he says things I disagree with is either humor, or a brief response that does not show that anything has “gotten to me.” I remind myself that the gates of hell will not prevail against His church…and even if I remain silent, the Lord will prevail!

How can you live with an anti-Catholic husband? It seems like that would be the hardest thing imaginable.

 

[rosary_for_life]

Refuse to argue. Drop political conversations like a hot potato. Be the best example of a loving, informed, intelligent Christian you can be. Be full of joy, and they will want what YOU have.

Good idea. What about kids though? I have a young son. Should I just explain to him why they’re wrong later, after we leave?

 

[ELKnight]

Hi!

Does anyone else have extended family who are very vocally secular, anti-Church, anti-religion, anti-pro-life, against the politicians you support, etc? What do you do when your children have to be around them?

Thank you!

My husband’s family is like that. They aren’t trying to undermine or offend me, they just don’t understand my beliefs and why they are important to me. I think that debating them helps teach my children how to defend their faith and ideas. They all have fairly good manners, though, so that helps.

 

[kage_ar]

Good idea. What about kids though? I have a young son. Should I just explain to him why they’re wrong later, after we leave?

Teach your child what you believe. Teach him not everyone believes the same thing. When it comes to religious matters, teach him that the Church is the pillar and foundation of truth. Politics is different, you have an opinion, and tell him that not everyone has the same opinion. Try not to raise politics to the same importance as Faith. Your faith impacts your politics, not vice versa.

 

[happymommy]

Good idea. What about kids though? I have a young son. Should I just explain to him why they’re wrong later, after we leave?

What we have done is explain the differences in what we believe and what they believe, or don’t belive, whatever the case may be. We always stress respect. That we shouldn’t run them down or make hurtful comments because they don’t believe the same things as us, even if we are right In fact we just had a discussion on this with our daughter, she asked about sending a prayer card to my sister and we had to tell her that her aunt was not Catholic and it really wouldn’t mean very much to her. And then we went into a little detail as to what they do believe. Our daughter said she felt sad for people who weren’t Catholic, because they are missing our on so much!

 

[rosary_for_life]

Our daughter said she felt sad for people who weren’t Catholic, because they are missing our on so much!

I hope my son is like that when he gets older! He’s two and a half now.

I also agree that respect is very important - maybe even most important. Our words may not convince other people, but hopefully our example will say something. My anti-Catholic family is not very respectful, so hopefully we can set a good example.

 

[puzzleannie]

Hi!

Does anyone else have extended family who are very vocally secular, anti-Church, anti-religion, anti-pro-life, against the politicians you support, etc? What do you do when your children have to be around them?

Thank you!

yes, and they were all raised by solid Catholic parents and attended solid Catholic schools. I had my children around them as infrequently as possible while still maintaining a civil relationship. When they were unable to be civil we simply made contact more and more infrequent. They have mellowed to the point where it is possible to spend an afternoon, or even a weekend in their company w/o constant harrassment, and my children are now grown and can handle these situations on their own.

 

[Em_in_FL]

We had a political fallout with a close family member (who is “catholic”)… and it was a really drawn out email exchange argument.
After talking to a priest about it, he suggested not arguing, but to just be a living example of Christ in this world. Also, to pray for them that someone ELSE would come into their lives and influence them. Sometimes family relationships aren’t the ones that pull the most weight in influencing us… so PRAY hard that someone can come into their lives other than you…
Just a thought…

 

[rosary_for_life]

yes, and they were all raised by solid Catholic parents and attended solid Catholic schools. I had my children around them as infrequently as possible while still maintaining a civil relationship.

It’s so sad that they were raised in such a good Catholic environment. I wonder how I can avoid that happening to my child? Maybe I can just honestly do the best I can and leave the rest to God.

 

[rosary_for_life]

Also, to pray for them that someone ELSE would come into their lives and influence them. Sometimes family relationships aren’t the ones that pull the most weight in influencing us… so PRAY hard that someone can come into their lives other than you…
Just a thought…

That’s very true! Your family knows all the stupid things you’ve done, and the ways in which you’ve failed to live up to your faith.

 

[gardenswithkids]

…Does anyone else have extended family who are very vocally secular, anti-Church, anti-religion, anti-pro-life, against the politicians you support, etc? What do you do when your children have to be around them?..

:sad_yes:

I have one in-law who is very secular, although nominally Protestant. This person *thinks *she’s open minded–while bashing any viewpoint not held by main-stream media and usually assuming the worst of people who disagree with her. Attacks on my beliefs have been both subtle and direct. I have engaged in discussions, listened patiently while praying silently, defended my faith, argued, walked away, changed the subject, allowed her to change the subject, gone to the kitchen to make coffee, etc., etc. After numerous years of this, I reached the point of wanting to limit contact to the minimum neccessary for a civil relationship. Rather than mellowing with time, I believe her behavior is increasingly worse.

My children do not spend much time with this person, even when we are together. (I don’t think this person likes children.) My older children now defend their faith and opinions, while being respectful of the elderly. One child mentioned to me that he noticed I stayed away from a particularly heated conversation on a matter that I cared about deeply. We discussed the situation of people who hold views contrary to what the Church teaches. He thought the other person made no sense. (It helps that this person often takes positions and makes statements that make little sense. )

I have other family members who are more intelligent and articulate while holding oppossing views. We can get into interesting philosophical discussions. But in the end, while all these relatives may have some influence on my children, my children are well formed in their faith and capable of logical thinking. My children will encounter secular arguments. It may (in a way) be helpful for us to address some of them now, so my children won’t be surprised to discover the rest of the world doesn’t always believe what we believe. Nevertheless, I am grateful my children have limited contact with such relatives.

 

[rosary_for_life]

:sad_yes:
My children will encounter secular arguments. It may (in a way) be helpful for us to address some of them now, so my children won’t be surprised to discover the rest of the world doesn’t always believe what we believe. Nevertheless, I am grateful my children have limited contact with such relatives.

That’s a good point. I don’t want my son to be surprised by other opinions either - I want to tell him about them myself, ahead of time. But I also don’t want him to be constantly around people who are nasty against our faith. You seem to have a good balance with both informing your children and having limited contact with those relatives.

 

[mdgspencer]

If you are on Catholic Answers for awhile, you will encounter the same sort of people. There are people sometimes who emotionally make anti-Catholic posts, sometimes very long ones. And there is another group prominent here, the gay advocates, who, whenever the issue of gay living comes up, angrily say that the people here violate their rights and will not stop making posts on that thread without end.
I agree with the people here who say that when encountering such people, it is better not to get upset or argue with them. I have seen to my great dismay that sometimes when Catholics respond with anger to such people on a thread. that often the thread becomes a volcano of anger and name-calling.
If such a poster comes on, I simply reply to them rationally, if I respond at all. That way you could be helpful. Perhaps sometimes the best thing we can do is to pray for such a person.
I experienced anti-Catholic statements from my own mother, who now is not longer with me, but while I was hurt, I never answered in the same way.

 

[BlestOne]

Hi!

Does anyone else have extended family who are very vocally secular, anti-Church, anti-religion, anti-pro-life, against the politicians you support, etc? What do you do when your children have to be around them?

Thank you!

I have a BIL that still refers to me as “that Catholic woman” and dh and I dated for 6 yrs and have been married for 3.5 years. Mostly I ignore this behavior, but his dd will make “Catholic” comments… like Oh thats right you can’t do that because you are CATHOLIC… like it is a bad thing. We ignore this too… however, both of these two also say some pretty inappropriate things… and those I will not ignore. On one occasion I shooed all the children out of the room they were in and forbade them to enter into any room they were in. I believe they were discussing porn and masturbation and their participation in those acts… nobody needs to hear that… especially kids between the ages of 16 and 10… I also told dh that i wasn’t comfortable with his brother’s topic of discussion and next crack he made I would be taking children and going elsewhere… he agreed with me.

Mostly we avoid seeing BIL but when we have to see him, we monitor the conversation and try to change the subject when it is inappropriate.

 

[nanna2]

Hi!

Does anyone else have extended family who are very vocally secular, anti-Church, anti-religion, anti-pro-life, against the politicians you support, etc? What do you do when your children have to be around them?

Thank you!

I HAVE A RELATIVE WHO HAS BEEN TRYING FOR YEARS TO COVERT ME TO HER RELIGION. SHE HAS TRIED BEING NICE, CRITICAL , GIFTS, ATTENTION WHEN I AM DOWN AND EVEN SENDING OTHER PEOPLE TO KNOCK ON MY DOOR. I HAVE TOLD ALL OF THEM THAT I WILL PRAY FOR THEM AND ASK FOR MOTHER MARY’S INTERCESSION WHICH USUALLY SENDS THEM RUNNING AWAY. I ALSO EXPLAIN TO THEM THAT IF THEY DO NOT KNOW THAT JESUS IS GOD, THEY ARE LOST. SOMETIMES FORMER CATHOLICS COME TO CONVERT ME AND I TELL THEM TO GET BACK HOME TO THE CHURCH INSTITUTED BY CHRIST AND TO LEAVE THAT 200 YEAR OLD FALSE RELIGION. SOME OF THESE PEOPLE HAVE RETURNED TO THE CHURCH, THANKS TO THE HOLY SPIRIT.

STICK TO YOUR GUNS AT ALL TIMES WITH LOVE
nanna2:angel1:

 

[Caesar517]

One of my uncles married outside the Faith and is now so anti-Catholic, it’s hard for him to have a civilized conversation about Catholicism. He’s fallen into many of the traps Protestantism has to offer. Fortunately, he keeps it to himself unless someone else brings up the topic, so family gatherings still function properly.

He’s not as bad as one of my co-workers who told me that Jesus never drank wine and when the Bible mentions wine, it means grape juice.

 

[Donna_Mc]

I thought I would post a story that you would all appreciate. My friend’s brother married into a very anti-Catholic family. They of course then married in her church and then her brother also joined his wife’s Lutheran church. They went on to have two sons whom were also of course Lutheran. Fast forward to the boys being in fifth and seventh grade. The parents were not happy with the education the boys were getting in their public school so placed them in a Catholic school hoping that would help them.
Well, not only did that help them, but guess which classes the boys loved the most? Yes, Religion class!!

As time went on, they then begged their parents to let them become Catholic!!! Eventually what wound up happening is that their anti-Catholic Mom started so see things differently, and they went to RCIA together, my friends’ brother went back to church, and went to Confession and got right with the church. Last Easter Vigil, the family came into the Church!!!