Anxiety, Depression, and Panic Attacks

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LSUpathdoc

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This is my first post and my first visit to this site. I guess I feel lost and afraid.

Just a bit about me. I am in my second year of my medical residency in pathology and I have suffered from anxiety, depression, and panic attacks almost all my life. It think I have managed to make it through my life by avoiding things or situations that make me anxious or other defense mechanisms that have essentially protected me until now. That being said I have not had the easiest of roads. My mother was diagnosed with a grade 3 brain tumor when I was in high school and was essentially told she had 6 months to live. She beat it for 12 years. However in my second year of medical school it came back and took her from us. I loved my mother with all my heart; she was one of my biggest fans and still is my inspiration. I started to be interested in medicine because of her cancer but her passing away made me want revenge on what took her. I want to cure cancer so that no other family has to go through the pain that my family endured.

So I made it through medical school, dodging and weaving my way through the situations that made me anxious and I finished. I’m a doctor now and I don’t have to deal with those situations any more right? Well I seemed to have been dead wrong. It seems this stage in training only makes me more exposed to anxiety. For the first year of my residency I have been able to “deal” with my problems however I can tell it has worn on me emotionally. Lately though it seems that I am coming to the limits of what I can endure. I feel trapped in my own mind. On one hand I don’t have to put myself in a situation where I feel horrible every day, however on the other hand I have to endure this to get where I want to be. I just don’t want to be miserable for the next 2 and half years of residency. My wife and family do not deserve that and frankly I don’t think I deserve this. I am seeking help in the form of psychologists, psychiatrists, my priest, and of course God’s help. It just doesn’t seem enough. I just feel so very lost.

The sad thing is if I look at my life objectively things are going really great. I have a wonderful loving wife and we found out that we are pregnant recently. I should be thrilled, but all I find myself focusing on is my anxiety and worry. I hate to say it but sometimes I wonder if she would be better off without having to deal with a husband who is, well broken. I should be the strong man and lead the family right?

I just don’t know what is the reason for this God? I feel like I am suffering and for what? Haven’t I suffered enough? I am just so so tired of being scared all the time. I just want to be happy. I guess I am just asking for your prayers, opinions, and suggestions.
 
I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles. I suffer from anxiety and depression as well and I know how they can weigh you down. Praying for you, stay strong xx
 
Lord, may LSUpathdoc unite his suffering to yours on the cross and offer it up for the salvation of souls or for some other good cause. May his anxiety, depression and panic attacks get better with the arrival of his new baby, but if it doesn’t improve, help LSUpathdoc to be abandoned to your holy will. Grant him strength, peace and total confidence in you, to help him carry his cross courageously, patiently and lovingly. Thank you, Lord, for hearing my prayer.
 
Asking for prayers and praying are steps in the right direction. Having depression and anxiety myself I know your pain. Spend quiet time in the presence of the Eucharist whenever possible. Just take it one day at a time, peace be with you!
 
Our Father, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.

Amen.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son,
and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning,
is now,
and ever shall be,
world without end.

Amen.
 
Our Lord Jesus Christ and His Blessed Mother are with you every moment. Pain and suffering is a part of life, this life which is only temporary. Many suffer with cancer as your dear Mom did.

Blessings to you and your wife expecting a child!

Dear Lord, Bless this couple and their child. Blessed Mother put your loving arms around all of them.
Lead this doctor and father in his special vocation in this life! May the love and compassion of the Lord shine through his thoughts, words, and actions.
 
Praying for you, LSUpathdoc. First of all, I know how hard it is losing a parent. It’s like a piece of you is missing. I lost both my parents. I dealt with depression and anxiety also after their passing. Once in a while, a certain song or something will trigger a memory and make me sad.
What helped me through is a lot of prayer. Also being here on CAF. There are a lot of caring people here to pray with you. Take it one day at a time.

congrats on the new baby on the way!!

God bless you!
 
I am sorry to hear your ordeals in life. Your achievement of medical school is actually very commendable. Like you said, objectively speaking, your life is great, especially with your loving wife’s pregnancy. While your anxiety and depression exist, could you try your best to take a positive and optimistic perspective of life, and make your life great “subjectively”? Granted there are sufferings in life but you must agree there are also many blessings. Try to focus on your blessings, not on your sufferings. Why not try to trust in God, pray, believe, and hope for the best? I know it is easy to say than do. But for the happiness of yourself and your family, please keep on praying for God’s help and respond to his grace. Ask God to heal your fear, anxiety, and worries. Ask God to help you cooperate and receive his grace.

Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.
 
Hi-I also suffer from depression and anxiety. I also have lost both my mother and sister from cancer years ago, so I can really emphasize with what you are going through. You remember America’s Most Wanted show with I forgot his name-he lost his son who was kidnapped and murdered, and turn his tragedy around into something positive-and that many families were reunited due to his involvement with his cause. You can do the same-please don’t ever lose sight of turning your tragedy into something positive for others. God may want you where you are at. You are going through a major storm right now in your life-yet we are all pulling for you. Your wife and child needs you-and no-she wouldn’t be better off without you. Believe me-your family depends on you to be there for them-whether as a doctor or not-in fact-you are a doctor who I believe will contribute greatly to the cause of fighting cancer. I personally feel that doctors like you who have been through what you have been through are the best candidates for this being that you put your heart and soul into this cause. Oh-one last thing, give all your troubles to God-to Jesus and Mary, too. Pray to St Jude and other saints to intercede on your behalf. I keep thinking of that CNN reporter and doctor-Dr Gunja?-not sure of the spelling-who went into medicine due to similar reasons as you. He does a heck of a wonderful job, too. And he may have came close to caving in to the pressures of residency, too-I think it is normal to hit a low before bouncing up-there is light at the end of the tunnel-please remember that. You and your family will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you don’t give up on your dream of medicine-we need you. God loves you, and it is okay to be you-I hope you don’t be too hard on yourself-Hugs…:console::gopray2::harp:

PS-I forgot to mention-I know this doesn’t relate with your situation-I overcame autistic tendencies as a child and served 23 yrs in the air force-both active and reserves. I am also a single mother-and trust me-your child (and wife) really needs you very much-all of you in their lives. You are a human being who has endured so much-I think you are stronger than you realize-and God will see you through these storms. 🙂
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women and
blessed is the Fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
 
I’m sorry for what you’re going through, I can’t offer much advice (all the other posters have given great advice!) but I will keep you in my prayers, doc! God bless you and your family
 
I’l think of you at Mass today.
Dear Jesus, please hear Lsupathdoc’s prayers and carry him through this. Amen
 
I’ll be praying for you as well. I know, from trying to deal with severe depression and axiety myself, it’s extremely tough to overcome but with the right medicine, therapists, and of course God and praying, it’s certainly possible to get through and overcome it. 🙂
 
I have to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. Sometimes struggling with anxiety and depression you begin to feel alone. It really is an insidious disease but just knowing that there are others out there who care really helps. Thank you all so much.
 
Praying for you LSUpathdoc.

Keep close to God, He will see you through. Take it one day at a time.
Sometimes the Lord calms the storm-- sometimes He lets the storm rage
and calms His child. :harp:

God bless you!
 
LSUpathdoc said:
This is my first post and my first visit to this site. I guess I feel lost and afraid.

Just a bit about me. I am in my second year of my medical residency in pathology and I have suffered from anxiety, depression, and panic attacks almost all my life. It think I have managed to make it through my life by avoiding things or situations that make me anxious or other defense mechanisms that have essentially protected me until now. That being said I have not had the easiest of roads. My mother was diagnosed with a grade 3 brain tumor when I was in high school and was essentially told she had 6 months to live. She beat it for 12 years. However in my second year of medical school it came back and took her from us. I loved my mother with all my heart; she was one of my biggest fans and still is my inspiration. I started to be interested in medicine because of her cancer but her passing away made me want revenge on what took her. I want to cure cancer so that no other family has to go through the pain that my family endured.

So I made it through medical school, dodging and weaving my way through the situations that made me anxious and I finished. I’m a doctor now and I don’t have to deal with those situations any more right? Well I seemed to have been dead wrong. It seems this stage in training only makes me more exposed to anxiety. For the first year of my residency I have been able to “deal” with my problems however I can tell it has worn on me emotionally. Lately though it seems that I am coming to the limits of what I can endure. I feel trapped in my own mind. On one hand I don’t have to put myself in a situation where I feel horrible every day, however on the other hand I have to endure this to get where I want to be. I just don’t want to be miserable for the next 2 and half years of residency. My wife and family do not deserve that and frankly I don’t think I deserve this. I am seeking help in the form of psychologists, psychiatrists, my priest, and of course God’s help. It just doesn’t seem enough. I just feel so very lost.

The sad thing is if I look at my life objectively things are going really great. I have a wonderful loving wife and we found out that we are pregnant recently. I should be thrilled, but all I find myself focusing on is my anxiety and worry. I hate to say it but sometimes I wonder if she would be better off without having to deal with a husband who is, well broken. I should be the strong man and lead the family right?

I just don’t know what is the reason for this God? I feel like I am suffering and for what? Haven’t I suffered enough? I am just so so tired of being scared all the time. I just want to be happy. I guess I am just asking for your prayers, opinions, and suggestions.
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Hi, I have one thing to say to you , pray and pray and pray all the time. GOD loves you and is there for you. Do not let the enemy put these thoughts in your mind. Pray and focus on God because he is blessing and healing you. TRUST HIM. LORD GOD put your hand on your child here and give him your strength to focus on you and be closer to you and build his faith and banish fear from his mind, thoughts and heart. LORD let him have JESUS in his heart and feel you always .thanks LORD , in JESUS;S name I pray, amen.
 
My prayers are with you, I suffer from anxiety, depression and PTSD. I rarely even leave my apartment anymore. Its just gotten much worst this year, I pray every morning and night and several times in between. I’m still slowly trying to overcome my anxiety with prayers.

I was raised as a catholic, but in my teen years somewhere I fell off God’s path. By the time I was in my 20s. I was involved in some bad things that landed me somewhere I didn’t want to be. I blamed God, I was angry at God, I would always ask God, “Why? why are you doing this to me!?!” I realize that I was asking the wrong questions.I should be asking God for strength and faith to help me overcome.

There are times where I feel like I’m back at square one, those days test my faith the most. Your not broken, your not alone. Keep your faith and prayer strong. God will lead you the right way. I actually just suffered a anxiety attack, couldn’t sleep and somehow I found this forum and knew I need to register.

We all had our own trials and problems in our life, your situation isn’t like mine but with prayer and faith we can we through this.
 
Praying for you today.

Pray and stay close to God. He’ll always see you through. Take it one day at a time.

:amen:

God bless you!
 
So now I am scared and not really sure what to do. I recently have been put on “leave” due to my heightened anxiety and to get back to work I have to get this paperwork filled out by a psychiatrist. The rub here is the only psychiatrist that can see me in the time frame that I need and is in my network is one that I just stopped seeing because the medication he prescribed me made me more anxious and frankly for the first time in my life thinking of a way out. Now I never ever think suicide is the answer but there were some moments that it did come in to my mind (I am even embarrassed to admit that). So I have to go back to this guy and get this paperwork signed and at the same time I know I need some other medication to manage my anxiety but I dont think I can trust him. He either didn’t take my complaints seriously or didn’t want to change his management for whatever reason. The other option I have is to see a nurse practitioner and how she can help me. I dont mean to come across as sexist or any other insult but I just want the best help I can get and I dont know if I can get that from a nurse practitioner. I really hope I am wrong and she can help me because I dont know if this psychiatrist can. God I just need help, to be free from this prison of anxiety.
 
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