Anxiety Over Mass

[smndtupidisaftr]

I’ve been stressed over work lately, but I’ve also been stressed about Mass. I haven’t attended the TLM for months which is my preferred Mass because I enjoy going with my parents. There are two priests at this parish, one who is permanent and the other who visits. The permanent one is great, though many find him too strict. They think that he has too many rules about Communion (so the EMHC’s get upset) and that he is too strict. I find this refreshing. This is a typical suburban parish, and so that’s all I’ll say about that. It’s nice to see someone who cares about the rubrics and is trying to make Mass more reverent. For a few weeks there the Mass we attended was exclusively celebrated by him. For the past few weeks, however, the visiting priest has been celebrating and, with all charity, I detest attending Mass with him celebrating. He cracks jokes constantly, breaks the Host at consecration, ad-libs, etc. There are the typical abuses, but this priest goes over the top. The worst part for me is that people love it! I don’t understand it. I feel that this is leading me to pride and I’m always stressing at Mass. While everyone is laughing at his jokes, I sit there looking sullen. When he asks us to sit for prayers (and sometimes the Gospel) and I’m visibly perturbed. When he breaks the Host at consecration, I am obviously angry.

So what should I do? I still want to attend Mass with my parents, but they’re not interested in the EF (plus it’s late in the day and about half an hour away). Would it be better for me to attend the EF anyway for myself? And what about the stress I feel about it? I feel as though there is nothing that I can do and that many people are being lead astray, as though humble obedience is something laughable and those who practice it should be ostracized. I know it’s leading me to pride, and honestly I feel despair thinking about the Mass. It seems that there is absolutely nothing that can be done.

What do you all suggest? Thank you in advance.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

When he breaks the Host at consecration, I am obviously angry.

When is he supposed to break the Host? I don’t have a good view of the altar from the piano or organ, so I can’t really see what’s going on.

Alan

 

[smndtupidisaftr]

It’s supposed to be during the Fractioning Rite, about the time of the Agnus Dei.

 

[Ann1964]

The issues you described are causing you much anxiety and also distraction from worship. I would suggest that if you haven’t already, pray about it. Ask the Lord to reveal His Will. As a side note, I had something along the lines of this happen at my home parish. I ended up attending another Catholic Church, no distractions, no anxiety, truly was able to focus on the mass. When a new pastor is named at my home parish, I will return and worship with my church family. Also, can you call the Church office to inquire who will be celebrating the masses so you will know whether to attend?

 

[SecretaryMonday]

:console:

If it is any comfort, these annoyances are small compared to what some priests do or allow to be done. If I feel upset at the OF Mass, I remind myself that we have no: liturgical dancers, giant puppet monsters, or super-size squirt guns for the Asperges. We also don’t have priests wearing Halloween costumes to celebrate the All Saint’s Eve Mass.

 

[latingirl]

I’ve been stressed over work lately, but I’ve also been stressed about Mass. I haven’t attended the TLM for months which is my preferred Mass because I enjoy going with my parents. There are two priests at this parish, one who is permanent and the other who visits. The permanent one is great, though many find him too strict. They think that he has too many rules about Communion (so the EMHC’s get upset) and that he is too strict. I find this refreshing. This is a typical suburban parish, and so that’s all I’ll say about that. It’s nice to see someone who cares about the rubrics and is trying to make Mass more reverent. For a few weeks there the Mass we attended was exclusively celebrated by him. For the past few weeks, however, the visiting priest has been celebrating and, with all charity, I detest attending Mass with him celebrating. He cracks jokes constantly, breaks the Host at consecration, ad-libs, etc. There are the typical abuses, but this priest goes over the top. The worst part for me is that people love it! I don’t understand it. I feel that this is leading me to pride and I’m always stressing at Mass. While everyone is laughing at his jokes, I sit there looking sullen. When he asks us to sit for prayers (and sometimes the Gospel) and I’m visibly perturbed. When he breaks the Host at consecration, I am obviously angry.

So what should I do? I still want to attend Mass with my parents, but they’re not interested in the EF (plus it’s late in the day and about half an hour away). Would it be better for me to attend the EF anyway for myself? And what about the stress I feel about it? I feel as though there is nothing that I can do and that many people are being lead astray, as though humble obedience is something laughable and those who practice it should be ostracized. I know it’s leading me to pride, and honestly I feel despair thinking about the Mass. It seems that there is absolutely nothing that can be done.

What do you all suggest? Thank you in advance.

I have had similar problems. Recently a new priest came to my former parish. he improvised prayers, omitted the gloria or penitential rite and even incorporating singing happy birthday to people in the Mass. When these things happened, I would cringe and want to cry and yes, all the other people loved it! I tried to say something but no one shared my view, even though this priest was breaching the rubrics big time. I felt very ostracized. I felt despair and dreaded coming to Mass!
I looked around for an EF Mass and the closest to me is 2 hours away. So I would say if you can get to one that is a half hour away, blessed are you. Go there maybe until this visiting priest leaves then return to your old parish when its just the permanent priest there. I ended up switching parishes, finding another church that offers the OF but more liturgically correct. It has done wonders for my spirituality already! I hope this helps.

 

[robwar]

I’ve been stressed over work lately, but I’ve also been stressed about Mass. I haven’t attended the TLM for months which is my preferred Mass because I enjoy going with my parents. There are two priests at this parish, one who is permanent and the other who visits. The permanent one is great, though many find him too strict. They think that he has too many rules about Communion (so the EMHC’s get upset) and that he is too strict. I find this refreshing. This is a typical suburban parish, and so that’s all I’ll say about that. It’s nice to see someone who cares about the rubrics and is trying to make Mass more reverent. For a few weeks there the Mass we attended was exclusively celebrated by him. For the past few weeks, however, the visiting priest has been celebrating and, with all charity, I detest attending Mass with him celebrating. He cracks jokes constantly, breaks the Host at consecration, ad-libs, etc. There are the typical abuses, but this priest goes over the top. The worst part for me is that people love it! I don’t understand it. I feel that this is leading me to pride and I’m always stressing at Mass. While everyone is laughing at his jokes, I sit there looking sullen. When he asks us to sit for prayers (and sometimes the Gospel) and I’m visibly perturbed. When he breaks the Host at consecration, I am obviously angry.

So what should I do? I still want to attend Mass with my parents, but they’re not interested in the EF (plus it’s late in the day and about half an hour away). Would it be better for me to attend the EF anyway for myself? And what about the stress I feel about it? I feel as though there is nothing that I can do and that many people are being lead astray, as though humble obedience is something laughable and those who practice it should be ostracized. I know it’s leading me to pride, and honestly I feel despair thinking about the Mass. It seems that there is absolutely nothing that can be done.

What do you all suggest? Thank you in advance.

let me ask you this, what is the purpose of going to Mass (any Mass)? You receive Jesus, body and blood, soul and divinity in both rites which are both approved by the Church. There is not one better than another. You have a choice here, go with your parents which you enjoy and realize that you need to leave your attitude at the door when you go with them. Or since you can drive I assume, go to the EF Mass. Going to one Mass and then getting upset over what did or didn’t happen or what one priest did or didn’t do which you have no control over and learn that receiving Jesus is the purpose and is bigger than the incidentals that you are getting upset about.

 

[grasscutter]

Yes, you are allowing it to lead you to pride and in that pride you are inspiring others to feel “dread and despair” about Mass.

 

[SecretaryMonday]

I have had similar problems. Recently a new priest came to my former parish. he improvised prayers, omitted the gloria or penitential rite and even incorporating singing happy birthday to people in the Mass. When these things happened, I would cringe and want to cry and yes, all the other people loved it! I tried to say something but no one shared my view, even though this priest was breaching the rubrics big time. I felt very ostracized. I felt despair and dreaded coming to Mass!
I looked around for an EF Mass and the closest to me is 2 hours away. So I would say if you can get to one that is a half hour away, blessed are you. Go there maybe until this visiting priest leaves then return to your old parish when its just the permanent priest there. I ended up switching parishes, finding another church that offers the OF but more liturgically correct. It has done wonders for my spirituality already! I hope this helps.

So sorry that you live so far from the Mass offered in the Extraordinary Form. I attend the EF when possible (like the OP, I have a drive of about 30-40 minutes one way), and though it took a few weeks to get used to, I feel that it is probably the most beautiful thing on earth (I haven’t seen a Divine Liturgy, though!)

I emphasize with the sense of isolation in the OF Mass, feeling miserable when everyone else appears to be happy. I also love and respect the local priest, and although what I said above (post #5) was partly a joke, it was largely true; I can easily get ‘wound-up’ and depressed over little things, and I can forget how much good there is, especially when I think of how little I have to annoy me during Mass when others have much more immense problems to annoy them in their parishes. (I was going to say that they have 'Mass’ive problems, but I won’t…)

 

[Bartolome_Casas]

I’ve been stressed over work lately, but I’ve also been stressed about Mass. I haven’t attended the TLM for months which is my preferred Mass because I enjoy going with my parents. There are two priests at this parish, one who is permanent and the other who visits. The permanent one is great, though many find him too strict. They think that he has too many rules about Communion (so the EMHC’s get upset) and that he is too strict. I find this refreshing. This is a typical suburban parish, and so that’s all I’ll say about that. It’s nice to see someone who cares about the rubrics and is trying to make Mass more reverent. For a few weeks there the Mass we attended was exclusively celebrated by him. For the past few weeks, however, the visiting priest has been celebrating and, with all charity, I detest attending Mass with him celebrating. He cracks jokes constantly, breaks the Host at consecration, ad-libs, etc. There are the typical abuses, but this priest goes over the top. The worst part for me is that people love it! I don’t understand it. I feel that this is leading me to pride and I’m always stressing at Mass. While everyone is laughing at his jokes, I sit there looking sullen. When he asks us to sit for prayers (and sometimes the Gospel) and I’m visibly perturbed. When he breaks the Host at consecration, I am obviously angry.

So what should I do? I still want to attend Mass with my parents, but they’re not interested in the EF (plus it’s late in the day and about half an hour away). Would it be better for me to attend the EF anyway for myself? And what about the stress I feel about it? I feel as though there is nothing that I can do and that many people are being lead astray, as though humble obedience is something laughable and those who practice it should be ostracized. I know it’s leading me to pride, and honestly I feel despair thinking about the Mass. It seems that there is absolutely nothing that can be done.

What do you all suggest? Thank you in advance.

Here’s the answer:

Secretly videotape a number of these masses with the jokes and abuses. Then send a DVD of all your footage to the bishop. Also create a shorter summary video of the worst offending moments. These wacko priests are ruining the spiritual lives of Catholics! Bishops are too often asleep that wheel, like the captain of the Titanic. It is a sad fact that bishops began to clean up the child sex abuse by priests ONLY when FORCED to be journalists who kept reporting on all the lawsuits. Sometimes the princes of the Church need a nudge to do the right thing. Let this be your model, if you wish: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lila_Rose

 

[robwar]

Here’s the answer:

Secretly videotape a number of these masses with the jokes and abuses. Then send a DVD of all your footage to the bishop. Also create a shorter summary video of the worst offending moments. These wacko priests are ruining the spiritual lives of Catholics! Bishops are too often asleep that wheel, like the captain of the Titanic. It is a sad fact that bishops began to clean up the child sex abuse by priests ONLY when FORCED to be journalists who kept reporting on all the lawsuits. Sometimes the princes of the Church need a nudge to do the right thing. Let this be your model, if you wish: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lila_Rose

Yes and the Bishop’s office is going to turn around and tell you that you have to speak to your priest first and you won’t get past the door. With such a shortage of priests and there is such a great need for them, I wonder if any one reading this wants to be a priest when so called “faithful” Catholics call them “wackos”. Really such a great attitude. Do you instead pray for your priest instead of throwing rocks at them on the internet because they didn’t run the Mass according to whatever preconceived notion on how the Mass is to be run.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Here’s the answer:

Secretly videotape a number of these masses with the jokes and abuses. Then send a DVD of all your footage to the bishop. Also create a shorter summary video of the worst offending moments. These wacko priests are ruining the spiritual lives of Catholics! Bishops are too often asleep that wheel, like the captain of the Titanic. It is a sad fact that bishops began to clean up the child sex abuse by priests ONLY when FORCED to be journalists who kept reporting on all the lawsuits. Sometimes the princes of the Church need a nudge to do the right thing. Let this be your model, if you wish: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lila_Rose

The idea of going to Mass with the specific intent to gather incriminating evidence against the priest saying it and getting him into trouble with his boss is, well, icky to put it mildly.

I’m sure the bishop has heard it all, anyway. A parish of any reasonable size has plenty of snitches who go running to the bishop every time the priests does something they don’t like.

Alan

 

[Chantal25]

Maybe your heart is fully open to God and you love him so deeply that you feel hurt when you witness someone not honoring him as you would.

I would say, don’t beat yourself up but work instead on compassion for this priest. Pray for him. Our priest need our prayer, they are human too but they have so much responsibility. They cannot forget to pray always otherwise, they can get side track. So simply pray for him so the Holy Spirit guide him to do God’s will.

Also, we see in others what is in us, you have a very high standard about yourself. Would it be possible that you feel that unless you are perfect, God will never love you the same as now? No need to answer me, but meditate on this. Sister Faustina said that Jesus feels offended when we don’t trust to his mercy fully. Pray Jesus and ask him to come in you and transform you entirely.

You have been loved before you were even created, you are his precious child and always will be.

Blessing to you!

 

[smndtupidisaftr]

let me ask you this, what is the purpose of going to Mass (any Mass)? You receive Jesus, body and blood, soul and divinity in both rites which are both approved by the Church. There is not one better than another. You have a choice here, go with your parents which you enjoy and realize that you need to leave your attitude at the door when you go with them. Or since you can drive I assume, go to the EF Mass. Going to one Mass and then getting upset over what did or didn’t happen or what one priest did or didn’t do which you have no control over and learn that receiving Jesus is the purpose and is bigger than the incidentals that you are getting upset about.

It’s not as if I think the Mass in invalid, but by no means are such practices innocent. They need to be ended.

 

[grasscutter]

It’s not as if I think the Mass in invalid, but by no means are such practices innocent. They need to be ended.

Are you posting in this particular sub-forum to avoid the new prohibition on complaints about specific Masses on Liturgy and Sacraments?

 

[robwar]

It’s not as if I think the Mass in invalid, but by no means are such practices innocent. They need to be ended.

Well, if you are so concerned, then you need to approach the priest that you think is wrong and discuss this with that priest and that is the first step in anything at all. But you need to do so with humility and understanding and a willingness to learn and maybe be wrong. Likewise, you can speak to your head priest since this is a visiting priest. But you need educate yourself and make sure that the things that bother you are not based on personal preferences and opinions.

 

[grasscutter]

Here’s the answer:

Secretly videotape a number of these masses with the jokes and abuses. Then send a DVD of all your footage to the bishop. Also create a shorter summary video of the worst offending moments. These wacko priests are ruining the spiritual lives of Catholics! Bishops are too often asleep that wheel, like the captain of the Titanic. It is a sad fact that bishops began to clean up the child sex abuse by priests ONLY when FORCED to be journalists who kept reporting on all the lawsuits. Sometimes the princes of the Church need a nudge to do the right thing. Let this be your model, if you wish: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lila_Rose

This presumes a prevalence of “jokes and abuses”. This is hardly the case. And it’s libelous (in theory - since the bishops aren’t actually named) to state that bishops are too often asleep at the wheel. And the titanic analogy?!? Stop being a stumbling block!!!

 

[Peter12rb]

You say the worst part for you is that others love the priest’s jokes and casual attitude. My only advice is to read 1 Corinthians 12, which states that we each are one part in the body of Christ (and says much more as well, but I’ll keep this post brief). I wonder if this priest is exactly what your fellow parishioners need to be brought closer to God. Maybe you can ask one of them why they like him, what they see in him?

 

[St_Francis]

It’s not as if I think the Mass in invalid, but by no means are such practices innocent. They need to be ended.

Yes, all the abuses should be ended, but they are not yet.

In your shoes, I would go and have a good spiritual talk with the EF priest, to get myself sorted out. Then I would attend which ever Mass he suggested, or the EF if he left it up to me.

Whenever I must attend a Mass which is iffy, as you describe, I offer up my suffering for Christ. I see these “broken” Masses as being a part of His Passion… if He was able to suffer so much for me, then I can suffer for Him.

This is a really tough thing. For a while, I did not have an option, and my attitude (not the Mass) caused a lot of spiritual problems for me, as you indicate you are noticing about yourself.

 

[smndtupidisaftr]

No, I wanted advice about what to do, and I didn’t think being complacent about the abuse was the right way nz Going to the EF to avoid pride seemed more reasonable.