Anxiety over the future and can't live for today

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george92

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hi all i have been constantly worried about my life and what the future holds and where my life is going ( i.e socially, career).

i’m 19 and have a lot going for me and you may say “oh your young” but truth is time seems to be running out and i need answers from God fast. i pray for about 15 minutes every day but it seems like its like talking to a wall. And the things i may want God doesn’t want for me (REALLY frustrating!)

the worrying has caused countless loss of sleep, negative thinking,and habitual sins (i.e masterbating)
I really can’t enjoy the blessings i have for today

thanks for any advice!
 
Many of us old people know that when God seems to be silent, it is not we who are talking to a wall, but God! :rolleyes:

“…in the word “absurd” we find the Latin word surdus, which means “deaf.”…When, however, we learn to listen, our lives become obedient lives. The word “obedient” comes from the Latin word audire, which means “listening”. A spiritual discipline is necessary in order to move slowly from an absurd to an obedient life…” Henri Nouwen, “Making All Things New”.

I think the answer you are getting from God may be “learn to trust and be patient, then we’ll talk marching orders.” After all, a general does not take an army onto the field until the soldiers learn obedience. Mind you, Henri Nouwen wrote a lot of what he wrote to other people in ministry. We never grow out of needing to hear this stuff. This is the spiritual fundamentals, the stuff that even the “pros” always preach the need to practice, practice, practice.

You may not feel you have the temperament to ever do this, but these are skills you can learn. No matter where you are going or what God will have you doing, you will need these skills. If you have bad habits to the contrary or a temperament very much bent in the contrary direction, there are professional counsellors who can teach you how to substitute better habits for your bad habits, who can help you compensate for any organic obstacles that you face in your basic make-up. That is key! Bad habits do not go away to be replaced by a vacuum. Rather, a better automatic response has to be learned to take the place of the bad habit, and that response has to be polished into a good technique. It is not any different than when you learn a sport or a musical instrument or anything else: consistent success takes an act of will, the right training, and practice, all three. It usually takes some kind of on-going coaching, too.

Get some help with this…also something we do not grow out of needing! 👍
 
Hi George,

Can you explain why you feel that “time is running out”?
 
george92 said:
hi all i have been constantly worried about my life and what the future holds and where my life is going ( i.e socially, career).

i’m 19 and have a lot going for me and you may say “oh your young” but truth is time seems to be running out and i need answers from God fast. i pray for about 15 minutes every day but it seems like its like talking to a wall. And the things i may want God doesn’t want for me (REALLY frustrating!)

the worrying has caused countless loss of sleep, negative thinking,and habitual sins (i.e masterbating)
I really can’t enjoy the blessings i have for today

thanks for any advice!
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George,

God certainly hears your prayers. Add some extra time to your prayer time and focus on Jesus on the cross and be still and listen.

To be anxious comes from the evil one. You can fight this by making acts of faith in God’s will for you.

Think of all the good things the Lord has given to us. We can’t demand answers from God - give Him your trust.
Do not allow the evil one to frustrate you to the point where you sin more in your impatience.

In the Lord’s peace keep making use of prayer, especially the Rosary and meditating on the life of Christ.
Share your problems with a priest, and use the confessional.

May the Lord bless you on your spiritual journey! He has a plan for you and loves you! Trust Him!
 
I’ve often felt the same way and I’m in my early 20s. The important thing that I’ve learned is that God always provides an answer to our prayers. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase that God doesn’t always answer your prayers the way you want them answered, but in addition to that, I’ve learned that He doesn’t always answer your prayers when you want them answered. It’s so important to learn to accept and embrace God’s timing. Maybe He’s not giving you the answers right now because it’s not time for you to have them. That was definitely the case for me. Many times I’ve prayed for an answer to something, only to feel like it was falling on deaf ears. But then later on, I’ve realized that God’s answer was in not giving me an answer because He knew that I wouldn’t or couldn’t act without an answer, and not acting is exactly what I supposed to do.

As for falling into habitual sin - try to figure out exactly what your triggers are. What happens right before you fall into that sin? Try to avoid those things. You said that sin for you is masturbation, so if you feel yourself falling into the trap and feeling like you’re going to masturbate, imagine Christ on the cross. Concentrate deeply on His face, His body - Christ, human in form, bloody and beaten, nails piercing his hands and feet, wearing a crown of thorns. Imagine how much effort and pain it caused Him to be able to open His eyes, then imagine Him looking straight at you. Focus on that and you just might not be in the mood to masturbate anymore. 🙂
 
I think you have to take a deeeeep breath first.

Anxiety is a horrible thing, I suffered from it for years because of my constant worry about the future. I was doing ok and I never really messed up, but I kept panicking nevertheless.

So my first question is this: where are your parents? Are they providing some guidance and offering moral support? I think it is crucial for young adults to have that, to feel that someone is watching their back so to speak. Sometimes it is enough to know that people believe in you and that they can help you find the right path. If they are not helpful can you talk to someone who you trust? Like a school councellor or a relative/family friend?

It is important that you put your worries into God’s hands. He can handle it and He will take care of it. Pray for guidance and He will send help your way. If you are awake with worry start praying until you calm down.

This is something that I wish I knew when I was stressing about my life: even if you make a mistake that doesn’t mean that your life will be over and that the world will collapse. It wont. Plus, things rarely work out exactly as we plan.

God bless.
 
thanks for the support everyone!

yeah the main thing is that i’m frustrated with the way God is answering my prayers. it seems like i’m being handed the short-end of the stick in everything i ask for( like no job, no opportunity to meet girls, etc.). and i look around at others and they seemed to be handed everything. darn, makes me think.
 
george92 said:
thanks for the support everyone!

yeah the main thing is that i’m frustrated with the way God is answering my prayers. it seems like i’m being handed the short-end of the stick in everything i ask for( like no job, no opportunity to meet girls, etc.). and i look around at others and they seemed to be handed everything. darn, makes me think.
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It could also be God’s will that you’re not as successful as other people in this world. Don’t turn to envy (cough cough Thou shalt not covet cough cough). Just be happy and thankful for what you do have.

If it’s any consolation to you, I’m nearing my 30s, single, picked the wrong career choice, am thousands of dollars in student loan debt, not finished school, unemployed, having to significantly downsize my living situation, and I have a number of permanent injuries. Ooh, and I suffer from anxiety. I used to worry about the future and make hasty decisions out of fear, but I’m done worrying about the future. I don’t want to be rich. I don’t want a bunch of stuff. I simply don’t care anymore about what the future holds for me. I have handed over the reins to God. All I can do is the best I can, and let chips fall where they lie.

Do the best you can, and if things fail miserably oh well. This life is only temporary. Be more concerned with eternity.
 
Having a wife and children doesn’t dial the anxiety down. In many cases it can ramp it up. When I neared my senior year of college I was despondent. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. So I prayed a 54-day novena for guidance. I met my now wife that summer.

But after we had kids the anxiety came right back. Now I have to not only worry about me but my family. I’m not rich but I’m not poor either. I sometimes feel locked in neutral. And those kinds of sins the OP mentioned coming back during a marriage can be terribly injurious.

My solution is what other posters have said. Breathe. Pray not for direction but for peace and peace alone. Grab a copy of the Imitation of Christ and follow the advice in the Foreword. Read it daily and read it slowly. Focus on not what is around you but what awaits in the hereafter. Give control of your life to God. He knows what is best for you. You need to do the work of course, but most of that work should be in the form of prayer. But prayer is not just asking for something. It’s also listening. So send your petitions and be ready to accept whatever He sends you. Then follow that guidance.

As you await guidance, go live your life too! If you are in the world, be in the world. Don’t be of the world but don’t be a recluse either. Go actively seek out social groups, maybe those tied to your parish. Go mingle with people and take up new interests. Prayer and action, that’s what our lives are about we members of the Church Militant.
 
george92 said:
thanks for the support everyone!

yeah the main thing is that i’m frustrated with the way God is answering my prayers. it seems like i’m being handed the short-end of the stick in everything i ask for( like no job, no opportunity to meet girls, etc.). and i look around at others and they seemed to be handed everything. darn, makes me think.
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I think it’s in everyone’s nature to look at people around them and compare their successes to their own. I understand that for sure, but remember there will always be someone who has more than you. This doesn’t mean that you don’t have the ability to change circumstances and push opportunity to your favor, though!

You mentioned that there are several areas in which you haven’t found success. Is it possible that maybe you’re worrying about all of them instead of concentrating on just one area? For example, you mentioned that you don’t have a job right now and no girlfriend. Why don’t you use one lack(no job) in order to facilitate the getting of *another *lack (the girlfriend)? If you’re currently unemployed, that should mean you have plenty of time to volunteer - that’s certainly one way to meet girls! You would also have plenty of time to organize some sort of young adult outing in your parish. I fear that being currently unemployed is giving you way too much time to ponder on the things that are not going well for you. You may not be able to do anything about the job situation right now, but you *can *at least use your extra time time wisely and think of events to get involved in where you can meet other young people.👍
 
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