Sorry Jon, I was reacting to a litany of scriptural recitation seemed directed towards me personally. I’m fine. I was sharing a bit about myself in hopes of getting a little back, but not like that. I’m a very strong person, everyone would tell you that. Even father said “you’re the type of person that’s not afraid to say NO”. I agreed and hoped that that’s not a bad thing in his eyes, but then again I’m not agraid to be frank either.
My family situation just to be clear:
Dad - on of 4 Catholics…he’s dead, the 3 sisters are not fully practicing and their children are not practicing either except a few…and most of those went to Catholic School all they way through high school. Dad was SSPX type.
Mom, one of 10 Protestants …she’s dead, unsure about who practices what because I avoid them now. Anti-Catholic.
Wife’s Dad, one of 10 …oldest…bishop/elder father of 8…converted me.
Wife’s mother, one of ? several. Supposedly raised Baptist, converted to church of Christ. mother of 8. All church of Christ, with exception of my wife now, they do not know of her conversion and we plan to keep it that way. 2 preachers in the family. Several deacons and several of their children or grandchildren are preachers. Anti-Catholic.
So if you do the math almost all are anti-Catholics, including the Catholics. I’m a bit hyper sensative about this subject in that I don’t put up with down talk. I know my situation is rather extreme. I’ve handled it quite well. It takes everything I have not to spout off at the mouth…that’ the anxiety…being charitable.
I know to cast all my anxieties and cares onto the Lord. Ain’t stupid you know nor ignorant …hick voice]. It’s difficult to protect those closets to you when they’ve been serioiusly hurt. There are boundaries that a healthy person must maintain, even when their is justified reason to take another man’s life by wild west standards. I have to bight my tongue and suck in my pride not to take care of some unfinished business. I remind myself I have to leave it up to the Lord. Vingience is the Lord’s, not mine. I’m just another sinner in this cesspool of sin. You see, I could easily become physical about it. Trained at it too. Not afraid to use it. I hear prison is easier than the Army. So why don’t I take out some sexual preditors in my past, because its the charitable thing to do and not my place. You see, a lot of that proselitizing is coming form folks that do not have healthy boundaries with women. It’s a crime at the level they scream bloody murder at the Catholic Church, though well diserved on some of the facts, but to act like it has not occured under their own roof is another.
A former preacher refused to allow my wife in the church building to prepare for bible classes. That was only one of many other things he did to avoid being in the same roof as her. She’s not a a flirt. She’s terrified of men, especially church leaders. I believe he was fighting his own sin. My wife dressed very conservatively, but is just beautiful and was very timid back then. I know far too many perverts in our former faith. Some are even in the family. They twist things to justify bad behavior. Like “it’s her fault”. She shouldn’t look at me that way. Or she shouldn’t wear clothes like that…my wife wore skirts that went to her ankle. Beautiful underneath it by it was well covered and not tight fitting. I protected her…over the top though, but showed her dignity that she never recieved form one of her own kind. I was truly Catholic inside and out and my conscience was well formed in that way. Seminary formation is discipline. I could be celebate my whole life… It’s in most people’s minds that they can’t abstain. I even did it in the military and when I planned to return to the seminary…then I met her and her family.
Anxiety comes in all forms. Sometimes its not because we’re scared of the other person, it may be that we’re scared of what we might do if we get caught off guard. Can’t tell you how many times I wanted to personally remove a few heads of elders, deacons and preachers in several places throughout my life…in churches that I attended…justified too. Lying cheating theiving and hateful people are everywhere.