anxiety

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CATLADY1979

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I have aspergers, seizures and bipolar. I recently moved back into my moms house. Im 37 years old, unable to work, drive. I go to an adult day care a few times a week. My family is not Catholic. My mom lives with her boyfriend. Ive made some choices in the past that werent good for my faith. I lived with boyfriends in the past, my mom encouraged me to get my tubes tied cause of my seizures, I went through RCIA ten years ago. I know Ive been to Confession for these things. Ive tried dating people and they just dont understand, I feel like a kid still. I was living on my own but couldnt do it. I realized maybe thats not what God wants. Maybe God’s vocation is for me to live the single life. I know at times when Im manic I get impulsive and dont make good choices and my social skills arent good I talk to myself laugh for no reason, I get depressed and just want to stay home. I go to Mass i have friends there I go to my day program and attend dbsa Depression bipolar support alliance. I wish I didnt have all my problems I wish I was normal and could get married and have kids, but when Ive dated they say Im immature I have friends my age and the guys have said they dont like me watching cartoons and going to Disneyland. Its like I dont fit in with people my age group.
Well I know Im going to talk to my priest this week, It gives me such anxiety people dont accept my disabilities. I want to do what God wants me to do and I love Him so much I know He allowed me to have my problems for a reason I dont know. Please pray for me and give advice.
 
I love my cats. I struggle a lot with my emotions. Its tough having asperger and bipolar combo. So I am behind when people my age are. My mom is my caregiver now as well. So it is better to live with her than myself. I have too much anxiety. I know not to fall into peer pressure. At my wellness center which is like an adult day center place with support groups they have field trips gardening movies, bowling, art classes, bipolar support stress management, creative writing, cooking classes, meditation classes, mindfullness, yoga, and all kinds of stuff, bingo we went to beach, for art classes we do decopage and water color and vision boards and we have nami support groups and all kinds of stuff. Its hard sometimes people at church dont understand mental health and behavior either but Ive done better living with my mom. I shouldnt be dating I shouldnt worry about that. My aspergers I dont have good social skills I dont talk in large groups when sitting at the dinner table i just sit there and listen I like cartoons and childish interests that other people ive dated in the past didnt they just dont understand and people my age dont understand. But at the day center place I made some friends with other disabilites that understand mental health but they dont get the aspergers… Im very immature for my age. I act like Im 15.
 
When I went through RCIA I did it on my own I was proud of myself . Since then there have been times where I have stopped going and just stayed in bed and gone to other churches but I come back. The Eucharist. I go to Confession I get manic and cant focus and worry people dont like me and dont understand but now the church is more aware mental illness and disabilites. And it doesnt matter where Ive gone I sit at church alone but at mass I have friends and theres other autistics there too. I go to spiritual counseling from the priest. I need a lot of spiritual guidance. like i said my parents arent catholics so I dont have help with that from them. I have my friends. and its ok as an asperger Im used to going to the movies alone disneyland alone church alone I dont need to go to church with people all the time. But sometimes I get depressed and feel isolated, and then Ive dated people I shouldnt have dated and done things I shouldnt have done and after confession yes it resolved but I still feel stress Like Need more direction I wish my family were catholics but I need to make better choices from now on and be strong and not feel sorry for myself
 
Dear Sister,
It sounds like you are doing the best you can in difficult circumstances.

My advice would be for you to continue what you are doing, and try to keep a very structured life. Keep going to day care several times a week, if possible set up a regular schedule to see your priest for spiritual counseling. Have a regular bed time, regular meal times, and a time every day for exercise, even if just taking a walk. Help with housework around the house.

Be sure that God loves you and has his eye on you, he knows what you are going through.
Praying for you. God bless you.

.
 
I feel your pain so deeply from what you write, but in your writing,continuously shining through that pain is your deep calling to the Catholic Faith and the Holy Eucharist. You are special and God has been calling for you, which call you have somehow heard in spite of the fact that your family is not Catholic! I very much admire your perseverance. I will pray that you continue to heed that call despite the disabilities, and hold tightly to that gift of Faith. God love you!
 
Seek the Lord with your whole heart and soul and the rest shall be given unto you. BE NOT AFRAID!
 
You sound like a wonderful person. I would always think positive and try not to be too negative. Find things you like to do. Coloring is for adults. That will give you a chance to show your creativity in choosing colors and pictures you want to color. Very relaxing Do it for you, in your own time. A lot of adults I know also watch cartoons for a while. Other shows, too. I agree with the posters who suggest you attend Mass and read spiritual books. Will be praying for you to find peace within yourself, then everything else will fall into place. God bless.
 
Catlady1979, I have people in my family with bi-polar so I’m a little familiar with what you go through. You sound like a sweet person, and I am so glad that you found your way to the Church.

You are right, the Eucharist. There have been times in my life that the only thing that keeps me Catholic is the Eucharist.

If possible, if there is an Adoration near you I suggest you go. Not to be cured or any reason other than to just spend a little time alone or quietly with Him. During one very difficult time in my life, I had to go visit Our Lord frequently. Sometimes on the way to work, on the way home from work, and more than once in the middle of the night! I was so fortunate to live near a parish that had a 24/7 Adoration. It didn’t matter, Our Lord was there and I was so grateful to be able to sit with Him.

Tomorrow, I am going to hopefully make it to a Healing prayer service at a nearby parish.

Pray for your mom. She needs it, not just because of her life choices but because she is your mom. It’s a form of honoring her. The 4th commandment.

Don’t worry about being ‘immature’ you sound like you enjoy good fun. Most adults forget that playful and fun side of themselves. There will be people who will be drawn to that!

You will be in my prayers. God Bless you Catlady1979!
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

Prayer for a Miracle

God of all creation, you who spoke a simple command and brought forth light from
the darkness, I ask you now to send forth your miracle-working power to heal (CATLADY1979). You cleansed the lepers, opened the eyes of the blind and by
speaking a simple command, you empowered the crippled to rise up and walk.
You sent forth your life-giving power to all those in need, including those you raised from
the dead. I ask you to send forth your healing power into CATLADY1979’s body and give him the strength to fight his illness. I ask this through my Lord, Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen

†

Prayer to Our Lady of Mental Peace

O Lady of Mental Peace,
Mother of Tranquility
and Mother of Hope,
look upon CATLADY1979 in this time
of weakness and unrest.

Teach her searching heart
to know that God’s Love
for her is unchanging and
unchangeable, and, that
true human love can only
begin and grow by touching
His Love.

Let your gentle Peace -
which this world cannot give
  • be always with her.
    And, help her to bring this
    same Peace into the lives
    of others.
Our Lady of Mental Peace,
  • Pray for us!
    Amen.
Jesus, Help Me!

In every need let me come to You with humble trust,
saying:
Jesus, help me!
In all my doubts, perplexities, and temptations:
Jesus, help me!
In hours of loneliness, weariness and trials:
Jesus, help me!
In the failure of my plans and hopes, in disappointments,
troubles and sorrows:
Jesus, help me!
When others fail me, and Your Grace alone can assist me:
Jesus, help me!
When I throw myself on Your tender Love as Savior:
Jesus, help me!
When my heart is cast down by failure, at seeing no good
come from my efforts:
Jesus, help me!
When I feel impatient, and my cross irritates me:
Jesus, help me!
When I am ill, and my head and hands cannot work and
I am lonely:
Jesus, help me!

Always, always, in spite of weakness, falls and short-
comings of every kind:
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, help me and never forsake me!

Amen

†

Prayer Against Depression
………….By St Ignatius of Loyola

O Christ Jesus
When all is darkness
And we feel our weakness and helplessness,
Give us the sense of Your Presence,
Your Love and Your Strength.
Help us to have perfect trust
In Your protecting love
And strengthening power,
So that nothing may frighten or worry us,
For, living close to You,
We shall see Your Hand,
Your Purpose, Your Will through all things.

Amen.

†

Let Nothing Disturb You

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.

Patience,
Obtains all things,
Whoever has God
Lacks nothing:
God alone suffices.

Santa Teresa de Jesús
(Santa Teresa de Ávila)
 
“I want to do what God wants me to do and I love Him so much I know He allowed me to have my problems for a reason I dont know.”

I guess you’re right! Keep praying and loving God.

God bless!🙂
 
Yes i feel im structured. I make sure i take my medication compliant. I get enough sleep i go to my day program. Church . Yes i do color and my mom has me do chores i help set the table and feed the animals i have three cats and a dog. I clean the cat box, take out the trash, walk the dog. I see my therapist and my psychiatrist regularly as well.
Continuing going to mass and seeing my friends there is good.
I pray for my mom and her boyfriend. I try not to worry too much about why im disabled and just be happy with where god has me.
I will see the priest tomorrow for spiritual counseling. Its possible god may not allow me to get married but thats ok. I do not drive as i also have seizures i cannot live alone. Getting married and having kids would be its own responsibilites i could not do. I wounder what god will have me do with my life instead. Aspergers and bipolar and seizures are not fun. But im blessed to have my mom. I pray she comes to the church someday.
 
I have a history of seizures as well so I can relate a little bit to what you are going through. They are not fun and definitely can be debilitating.

I agree with an earlier member’s advice about attending Eucharistic Adoration. As a fellow anxiety sufferer who has to constantly overcome her fear of the unknown, particularly in figuring out what God wants me to do, I highly recommend Adoration. That quiet time with the Lord, to really just sit and BE with Him, can really slow your mind down and help with the anxiety. Do not worry about what you should DO during Adoration. If you feel like reading, read. If you feel like praying, pray. You may even want to close your eyes for a bit and relax. That’s okay too. Just being there in His presence will help you quiet your mind and hear the Lord speak to you.

Be at peace with the Lord’s plan for your life. You are clearly very determined to do His will and he will slowly reveal His plan for you when and in a way He sees best. Trust in Him and continue to live every day the best you can. He is always with you.
 
I went to adoration today thanks it really helped. I sat there for an hour before talking to the priest. Thanks. I will go to adoration more often.
 
Praying that everything becomes easier for you. Continuing prayers. Glad you found comfort at Adoration.
 
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