Any advice for a tired, lapsed catholic?

[need_to_know]

Thank you Sir. That’s exactly what I’m looking for. And the responses to my request have been very encouraging.

I have one question regarding confession. I have not been since I was a child. Do I just turn up on saturday night, or do I need to book an appointment. Unfortunately, I don’t know any priests personally.

Regarding confession, I would recommend asking making an appointment. Unfortunately, a lot of parishes only schedule about half an hour for confession on a Saturday and the priest only expects to hear each confession for 5-10 minutes. These days, the Sacrament of Recinciliation it is not always seen to be important as it really is.

As for not knowing any priests personally, I would recommend either:

1. Find out the telephone number for the parish you attend Mass at (or any parish near you). Call them up, explain the situation and ask for an appontment to speak to a priest and ‘rectify your situation’, so to speak.
2. Speak to the priest after Mass. You might have to wait a few minutes until everybody has left, said goodbye on the way out, etc. But, again, have a quick word with him and explain what you need from him. I expect he will be most happy to help.

Doing either of these will also mean you can have a chat with the priest about wanting to get more involved in the Church, etc. Again, I am sure that he will be happy to hear your confession and also to have someone willing to get involved in parish activities, etc.

 

[PJM]

=BikeCop;5019195]Hi all

Just wondering if you guys had any advice for a tired lasped catholic, fed up to the back teeth with secularism but unable to get back into the swing of the religion I was born and baptised into.

I tried a while back to go to mass, at least every sunday. It lasted about a month. I just kinda faded away from the church again and now dont bother. I started to read the bible for a while, and got fed up with that too. I bought prayer books and stuff but got fed up reading and saying them.

I have no idea why though. I just seem to get a little bit fired up, then it just seems to fizzle out real quick.

I just dont seem to be able to be consistent and committed. There must be something seriously lacking in my faith but I dont know what it is. I;ve toyed with other religions but never seriously. I kinda just resigned myself to the fact that I was born a catholic, was brought up as a catholic and I’ll always be a catholic in name anyhow.

And I do KNOW a lot of you wont consoder me a catholic as I dont practice the faith, but I just dont know what to do about finding that fizz again.

Any ideas?

BikeCop.

Luke 15:"6 And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost.’ 7 Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance"

Mk.14: "“The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent, and believe in the gospel.”

Welcome home friend! Wecome Home.

It’s a two step process:

Repent… make an appointment with your priest and make a Good Confession. It WILL make a world of difference.

Mt. 16: "17And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jona! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. 18* And I tell you, you are Peter, * and on this rock I will build my church, and the powers of death * shall not prevail against it. 19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”

John 20:"1Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.” 22 And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”

Then my friend, depending on how much you know about what we believe and why we believe it, you may wish to join your parish RCIA program.

I teach at my parish and we often have returning Catholics who want to know more and know better. It is also an excellent way to meet other Catholics who can assist, guide and motivate you; all with tender love and concern:thumbsup:

Being part “of the Church” an active emeber of your Community, will do wonders for your resolve.

If you have any question, feel free to ask. There are many of us who’d love to assist you:clapping::extrahappy:

Love and prayers,

Pat

 

[emeraldcoast]

1. I gave a relevant response to what I believe to be an incorrect and over reaching comment by another poster on this thread.
2. This is posted in non-Catholic religions.
3. This is an open forum, open thread and my point of view may be helpful.

Honestly, I saw your post as being discouraging to a hurting Christian. You don’t expect me not to point this out, do you?

This poster is a Christian, not someone that has lost his faith but someone that wants to get right with God.

The wonderful thing that all Christian share together is our love for Jesus Christ, and our desire to follow him as Lord and Savior. We also agree that it is the power of divine love revealed in Jesus Christ that saves us. Praise God!

Now Iamnotafraid, you spoke earlier about guilt and shame not being of your concern anymore. Did you miss the sermons on God’s grace and love? My pastor always says “You will hear a lot more about grace and love than you will guilt, shame and fear here. If you want to hear that you can find another Church that will be happy to preach about guilt and shame.” My quote of my pastor is not perfect but pretty close and I hope that you get the point.

God Bless!

 

[kristie_m]

Hi all

Just wondering if you guys had any advice for a tired lasped catholic, fed up to the back teeth with secularism but unable to get back into the swing of the religion I was born and baptised into.

I tried a while back to go to mass, at least every sunday. It lasted about a month. I just kinda faded away from the church again and now dont bother. I started to read the bible for a while, and got fed up with that too. I bought prayer books and stuff but got fed up reading and saying them.

I have no idea why though. I just seem to get a little bit fired up, then it just seems to fizzle out real quick.

I just dont seem to be able to be consistent and committed. There must be something seriously lacking in my faith but I dont know what it is. I;ve toyed with other religions but never seriously. I kinda just resigned myself to the fact that I was born a catholic, was brought up as a catholic and I’ll always be a catholic in name anyhow.

And I do KNOW a lot of you wont consoder me a catholic as I dont practice the faith, but I just dont know what to do about finding that fizz again.

Any ideas?

BikeCop.

I too, thought the post about exercizing your spiritual muscles was a good analogy. In keeping with that, I would highly recommend going to daily mass whenever possible. One of the things it offers me is a more intimate group of people that worship together each day and have become something of a second family. My involvement in the church stemmed from that. I have to warn you though…it’s highly addictive!

 

[emeraldcoast]

I apologize Ma’am :tiphat:

Are you from the South? You seemed to have the manners of a wonderful Southern Gentleman.

God Bless!

 

[hosemonkey]

BikeCop,
I’m a retired Firefighter with previous experience as a LEO and I know how you feel. My favorite parable is the one about the Prodigal Son. Remember the part that says “and he saw him coming from afar off and ran to him and fell on his neck and kissed him.” That parable was talking to me and you and tells us that our Father welcomes us back, no matter what the circumstances. The advice that you got about confession was excellent. Think first about making a good confession, even what is called a “General Confession”, covering a lengthy period in your life. Self-examination is not only spiritually theraputic, but is also healing. We very often are not honest with ourselves regarding our failings and a good confession wipes everything clean. After confession, I feel as though a huge load is lifted off me and I feel scrubbed. Attendance at mass is good too. Sometimes I just let the Mass wash over me, we are not always fervent in our worship, but the Presence of Jesus is all that we need, sometimes. Someone mentioned “The Passion of the Christ,” I only watch that movie if I need a real jolt of reality, I cry too much otherwise. Confession first, then let the fruits of that confession move you further. Think of it as a rigorous spiritual workout. I’ll be praying for you, Bro.

 

[reisender]

Hi there,

If you are enjoying your life “fully”, then why are you on this forum?

I would guess that you are here to “enlighten” us, the stupid, brainwashed Catholics.

Obviously you have found the answer that all of us are seeking, the answer to the question that every human being asks, what is the meaning of life?

If you are enjoying your life fully, then why are you on this forum?
I’m here to have discussion, meet new people and try to understand how the christian thinks.
Also, it seems I’m here to try to clear up some misconceptions about atheists.
It seems whenever I post, you’ve got someone like you making blind assumptions like you did above.

I’m on this thread to help out the OP, give him some advice. He’s seems to have figured out that his religion is terribly boring, and also seems to do fine without it. Why then?

It sounds like your secret to happiness is to not be distracted by loving anyone but yourself! Good luck with that!

And there again.

God loves you and will always be there for you, even if you reject His love!

Ha, sounds like my stalker. God needs to move on.

Your basic assumption is:
faith = guilt

Wow, looky here, more assumptions about my assumptions.
If it wasn’t for strawmen, what would christians attack? Oh, I forgot. Gays.

my experience:
No faith = dull, meaningless life in the violence of ones own pleasures that never go away only grow big and nasty, and the empty hole inside

I’m sorry your life is so meaningless. I guess if my life had no meaning, I might resort to pretending someone loved me. Like my stalker.

I dont supress my wrong doings like you have to … I recognize them and become free.

Yeah, it’s you guys who scare me. Anything goes, just confess and you’re all set.
And more assumptions.

Why do so many people here seem to know so much about me?

 

[guanophore]

Thank you Sir. That’s exactly what I’m looking for. And the responses to my request have been very encouraging.

I have one question regarding confession. I have not been since I was a child. Do I just turn up on saturday night, or do I need to book an appointment. Unfortunately, I don’t know any priests personally.

Yes, you can just show up, but if it has been a long time, you might prefer to make an appt. I had a 20 yr. lapse, and it took quite a while! It is not comfortable to have a line of people waiting.

I also suggest that you review the format, and google an examination of conscience. There are a lot of good ones online. This will help you identify areas that need healing. Remember that Reconciliation is one of the Healing Sacraments, and that God’s grace is present to not only wash away sins, but also to restore you to spiritual, physical, and psychological health. You may be amazed at how the weariness falls away when the spiritual baggage is gone!

You can also bring those issues of which you are presently conscious, and when more come to mind, bring those later. It might be useful to plan to attend weekly until you find yourself cleared out.

 

[hosemonkey]

Hi there,

If you are enjoying your life fully, then why are you on this forum?

I’m here to have discussion, meet new people and try to understand how the christian thinks.
Also, it seems I’m here to try to clear up some misconceptions about atheists.

Because we have seen those with your particular affliction so many times before.

 

[elts1956]

Just a question: have you gone to confession lately?

The reason I’m asking is that Satan has a way of holding you while still in sin. If you haven’t gone to confession in a while, I’d suggest to start with that first. Then try reading the Bible and/or going to mass again. And after confession, try to find an adoration chapel and just sit before the Lord and ask Him to help your faith.

It should help.

Or maybe a private conversation with a priest? I have found the more I do little acts of Faith, such as prayer, read about the Faith, I in particular like reading about the History of the Church and the encyclicals of the Popes My two favorite encyclicals so far are Evangelium Vitae and Veritatis Splendor, the Splendor of Truth. I have so much awe for the intelligence of this man. Try them, let me know if you like them or not.

 

[GraceDK]

Hi there,

If you are enjoying your life fully, then why are you on this forum?
I’m here to have discussion, meet new people and try to understand how the christian thinks.
Also, it seems I’m here to try to clear up some misconceptions about atheists.
It seems whenever I post, you’ve got someone like you making blind assumptions like you did above.

I’m on this thread to help out the OP, give him some advice. He’s seems to have figured out that his religion is terribly boring, and also seems to do fine without it. Why then?

And there again.

Ha, sounds like my stalker. God needs to move on.

Wow, looky here, more assumptions about my assumptions.
If it wasn’t for strawmen, what would christians attack? Oh, I forgot. Gays.

I’m sorry your life is so meaningless. I guess if my life had no meaning, I might resort to pretending someone loved me. Like my stalker.

Yeah, it’s you guys who scare me. Anything goes, just confess and you’re all set.
And more assumptions.

Why do so many people here seem to know so much about me?

It all comes down to this. Its fascinating and interesting to live in the Truth, and live fully. The most cynic and sarcastic people, alcholics and abusers I have met were people who had no faith and also had no wonder at life. meet a man who is 25 and already he is talking like everything is old… Thats just tragic.

I have not become a believer because I one day decided I wanted a religion as a comfort. Does it comfort me, yes, in every way. I know where I am headed, and its somewhere good, and I am already tasting it now. Also there is a great peace in becoming ever more the woman I was created to be, loved and lovely and who is capable of loving and blessing others.
But I was in the darkness until God revealed himself to me and stepped infront of me and said: “I am here! come to me, I love you, I have crafted your name into my hand from all eternity, I will set you free from all sin and give you the joy and peace that surpasses all understanding.” God has been faithful to these promises.

Aside from that I also find that the Christian worldview is the most scientifically, morally, philosophically and historcial adequate.
May I for instance challenge your intellect with this question. Why do you suppose that all the apostles of Jesus, save one, died terrible martyr deaths? If they made up the resurrection and the stories of the Risen Christ, why would they do that if it brought them no gain in this life but only a painful death? If they were lying they couldn’t even hope for a reward in eternity. But in unity they went to be crucified, thrown down from high walls, stoned and thrown to the beasts for saying that Jesus is Lord and that they had seen and touched Him.

Thought provoking.

You are what one of the great religious scientists of last centure called a “spiritual illiterate” person. You do not understand it when I say that Jesus is my best friend and He knows me better than I know my self, even He also knows what is best for me.

Last year I met a guy who was as critical as you about religion. He also thought it was a foolish opium for the masses. But when he started to suffer and found out about his own limits he became humble enough to open his ears a little bit. A few weeks later he met me and I in turn introduced him to people, books, lives changed and transformed. After a while of struggle and hard thinking, he became a new man. He had accepted God into his life.

I hope you stick around here, alright. Pretty many of us have been in your shoes - I also used to think I was sitting on top looking down at the Bible and all the people - but you have not been where we are, so you don’t know how to act and only patronize us. Its okay.

Just say the sceptic’s prayer: “Jesus, if you are there, if you are who they say you are, then reveal your self, tell me!”. Thats what my friend did, as I adviced him… and like with everyone else, God didn’t leave him empty handed. I challenge you.

Peace

 

[reisender]

Hi Grace,

I have to agree that living with truth is interesting. That’s what makes being a skeptic great!
I don’t believe something blindly, or at least I try not to. I’m finding out great things about the world that I used to believe, but were wrong. With thousands of ‘one true faiths’ out there, all relying on believing without evidence, you can see why they are all equally easily dismissed.

Anyway, I’ve commented on 2 threads since coming here - on topic, but people seem to wanna focus on making strawmen out of me and derailing the threads. Maybe this should go in one of the atheist threads, or elsewhere.

As for your question, I don’t really agree with your premise that there was a Jesus or any apostles, so I can’t really answer. (and that’s a whole other topic, let’s not start it here) However, Islamic radicals martyr themselves left and right because ‘they know’ they’re going to god. Thought provoking indeed. As in - what WERE they thinking?

As for your challenge. It’s silly. I could challenge you to call to Odin and ask him to reveal himself to you and I guarantee he will. And if he doesn’t, you’re just not believing hard enough.

 

[MelanieAnne]

As for your challenge. It’s silly. I could challenge you to call to Odin and ask him to reveal himself to you and I guarantee he will. And if he doesn’t, you’re just not believing hard enough.

Actually, reisender, that’s a Mormon technique.

 

[hosemonkey]

Hi Grace,

As for your question, I don’t really agree with your premise that there was a Jesus or any apostles, so I can’t really answer.

 

[BikeCop]

I’m on this thread to help out the OP, give him some advice. He’s seems to have figured out that his religion is terribly boring, and also seems to do fine without it. Why then?

No Sir, my religion is not terribly boring and I am not doing fine without it. That is why I have come on here and asked questions regardling getting back on track with my life.

Guanophore - you were the person who suggested yesterday I seemed solitary and getting more involved with the Church would address this. Others agreed. I agree also. I never thought about it like that. But you are correct.

To everyone else who has taken the time to respond with further advice and discussion. Thank you. Appreciated.

Someone suggested the department chaplin. We have a visiting chaplin who is presbyterian. We also occasionally call on the services of a Baptist minister. They are both good guys. Not much call for a catholic priest in these parts, but I got the number of one from the chaplin and put a call in.

I explained my situation and I have an appointment to see him on saturday.

Y’all have a good day. I want to say ‘‘God Bless’’ but don’t feel I can just yet. I am not right with my maker. Maybe after Saturday.

Emeraldcoast - Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep South

 

[Verisimilitude]

I explained my situation and I have an appointment to see him on saturday.

Congrats on that. They might be very busy the next few weeks because of Easter so don’t get discouraged if you seem to be put off for a while.

 

[MelanieAnne]

BikeCop,

I know that people have been giving you a lot of analogies, and so I’ll offer one more. You probably make a point of eating nutritious food every day to say healthy. Ditto on the beverages you consume. It just makes sense for health and fitness.

The Eucharist is spiritual food and drink and if you’re not there at Mass you’re starving your soul, even if your body is physically just fine.

I also support the suggestion already given to seek out a lay ministry at your local parish that interests you ~ get involved. Sure, you’ll be the “newbie” at first, but over time you’ll be one of the group. Parishes can be very big places and you can get lost in the crowd, so it helps when you’re part of a smaller group within the larger one. This would be a good “next step”.

 

[Thing]

Hi all

Just wondering if you guys had any advice for a tired lasped catholic, fed up to the back teeth with secularism but unable to get back into the swing of the religion I was born and baptised into.

I tried a while back to go to mass, at least every sunday. It lasted about a month. I just kinda faded away from the church again and now dont bother. I started to read the bible for a while, and got fed up with that too. I bought prayer books and stuff but got fed up reading and saying them.

I have no idea why though. I just seem to get a little bit fired up, then it just seems to fizzle out real quick.

I just dont seem to be able to be consistent and committed. There must be something seriously lacking in my faith but I dont know what it is. I;ve toyed with other religions but never seriously. I kinda just resigned myself to the fact that I was born a catholic, was brought up as a catholic and I’ll always be a catholic in name anyhow.

And I do KNOW a lot of you wont consoder me a catholic as I dont practice the faith, but I just dont know what to do about finding that fizz again.

Any ideas?

BikeCop.

Yes, sure, lots of ideas if you’re still around.
You will not enjoy any of them, though.
Very difficult.
You need to stretch yourself, perhaps. If you get too comfortable you get lazy and bored and will soon give up.
Traditionally saints and monks would push themselves and not go too easy on themselves, though they went easy on others.
Go on a retreat. Organised, or of your own making.
Copy St Columba; build a dry stone cell on a mountain ridge or island and sleep on the bare sandy beach or with a stone for your pillow.
If you’re young and fit enough, go out and find a nice high dry mountain, climb to the top and stay there. Fast and drink rainwater you collect in a plastic sheet.
Alternatively, go on pilgrimage; there is a place called St Patricks purgatory where St. Partick saw hell when he spent some days living in a cave on a lake island. You could go there; where you fast for three days and nights, do not sleep except for one night, must stay barefoot on the rocky island and complete several traditional devotions; such as walking around the island day and night barefoot saying the rosary, go to confession, mass etc.
Other pilgrimages like a 500 mile walk to Santiago de Compostella in Northern Spain, you walk 15 to 20 miles every day, 7 days a week. You cannot stay in any refugio for more than one night and depending on where you start you will starve frequently in the mountainy places.
More sedate pilgrimages to Rome, Tours and so on where you can get confession and daily mass for a couple of weeks for your stay there.
I mean, its up to you to do something, get some plan going, something to think about…vamoose now

 

[Thing]

However, Islamic radicals martyr themselves left and right because ‘they know’ they’re going to god. Thought provoking indeed. As in - what WERE they thinking?

As a BTW
Those who train the suicide bombers will tell you that they have 3 days to get the person ready, sometimes using drugs, if they wait longer than 3 days the prospective martyr usually has second thoughts and refuses to continue with the plan to martyr themselves.

 

[Gottle_of_Geer]

Just a thought along these general lines ~ it was Jesus Himself that taught that those things that tended to pull a person away from God had their origins in evil. (The phrase “Get thee behind me Satan!” comes to mind.)

These days, the secular world tells us that religion is no big deal, and you don’t need it to have a good life.

For a good life - i.e., a virtuous life productive in good to others & oneself:​

• Jesus is not needed;
• the Biblical God is not needed;
• the Church is not needed;
• no religion at all is needed.

It may be difficult to some people to imagine how such things can be possible - that does not mean that such possibilities are unreal, or have never become actualities.

Far from being needed, those things have, in various combinations, not only been unnecessary for a good life: they have given encouragement to many evils. Of all bad men, the religious bad man is the worst, because he can use religion as a reason for the evil he does. As C.S. Lewis pointed out long ago. Religion is far more dangerous than the lack of it - as might be expected.

As for Jesus, his person is less important than what he represents - & had there never been the Prophets, their ethical teaching would be no less valuable even so. Who a god or teacher may be, is less important than the moral teaching attributed to them. So Jesus is not of absolute importance, but is important relatively - this is all implied in the teaching of the CC on the salvation of the unbeliever, AFAICS. The gospels imply it - Jesus is not interested in dogmatic perfection, but in upright conduct. And the Gentiles he met had gods of their own - yet it was the faith of a Roman centurion that he praised most highly, & not the religious practice of his fellow-Jews. In fact, he complains constantly of their “unbelief” & “hardness of heart”. He is a profoundly unsettling figure - to the “religious”, “pious”, “devout” most of all. Which should give comfort to atheists & all the other people who are belittled by the “religious”.

While it may sound easy, and it doesn’t sound evil, this subtle indirect approach may be even more evil than one that ridicules faith. I wonder what Jesus would say about it?

What has ease to do with anything ? If religious baggage is so necessary, surely those who go without it have a less easy life than those who do not ? There seems to be an implication that the Christian life is easier than the godless - but if so, that makes the godless more heroic than Christians. ​