Any advice for Daily Confession?

[Adonia]

Ave Maria! Hello all!

I’ve just started driving and have found a nice church in the next town over with confession fifteen or thirty minutes before every Mass. They also have a great devotion to the First Fridays and First Saturdays.

So. I’m having a little trouble thinking over daily confession, which I haven’t done yet. Twice a week is the most I have done, but if it’s available it’s very good for the soul. Let’s say I miraculously don’t sin from one confession to confession the next day. Should I stay out of the confessional, or is there something I can also figure out? Like, imperfections and vocations? I know there are Saints who went to confession every day who were infinitely better than I am. I don’t know what they could possibly have talked about with the priest (nor is it my business), but I would like a little help.

Thank you and God bless. Ave Maria!

Daily confession? If you are so bad that you need daily confession then I think you have a serious problem in your life that needs to be addressed. For any minor transgressions a good Act of Contrition and attending Mass where we ask for forgiveness as part of the service should be sufficient.

 

[Brendan_64]

Daily confession? If you are so bad that you need daily confession then I think you have a serious problem in your life that needs to be addressed. For any minor transgressions a good Act of Contrition and attending Mass where we ask for forgiveness as part of the service should be sufficient.

That is not what the Church teaches. The Catechism makes it clear that the Sacrament of Penance is not just for mortal sins, but for all sins, including venial sins. If a person wishes to confess their venial sins through the sacrament of Penance and receive absolution then this is something that the Church actively encourages. Nowhere does the Church teach that a person ought not to go to Confession too often.

If someone goes to Mass daily and receives the Eucharist daily, you don’t tend to get Catholics telling them that they are going to Mass and receiving the Eucharist too often and that they must have a serious problem. Yet when people mention going to Confession daily people start to berate them.

If someone can find something the Church has said that discourages daily Confession then I’d be interested in reading it. Telling a person that they ought not to come to Confession so often is the business of nobody except perhaps a confessor who knows them very well. There does seem to be a real aversion among some Catholics concerning the wonderful sacrament of Penance. Almost a negative view of the sacrament as something to go to only if you absolutely have too, a bit like the dentist.

 

[babochka]

It is just my opinion,** but if someone wants to go to confession daily, and if their confessor feels they are so mired in sin they need daily confession, then I would say, by all means, go.** Do as your priest advises. However, if someone were to ask me what “frequent confession” is, I would say “once a month to once a week depending on how you feel about your life and state of grace.”

Note: The above is not directed at anyone in particular, so I hope no one takes offense at it. The OP asked for opinions, and this is just mine. Everyone has to make up his or her own mind on the subject of confession.

I think the key here is to undertake something like extremely frequent (more than weekly) confession under the guidance of a regular confessor. I don’t think one ought to be running around town, from church to church, trying to “get my confession in”. But, if a person has access to a priest on such a frequent basis who is willing and able to hear his confession daily, I see no reason to think that I know better than that person and his own confessor.

I guess I just don’t get the idea that someone who desires such frequent confession is “so mired in sin”, any more than the rest of us. Perhaps this person simply has, or is seeking to develop, a more sensitive conscience? Perhaps this person is struggling with a particular sin, no better or worse than the rest of us, and wishes the grace and accountability to overcome it. I just don’t know. But the whole idea that the daily penitent is mired in sin while I, with my bi-weekly confession am so much better off, makes me uncomfortable. Add to it the knowledge that some saints and Popes have seen a benefit from -if not a need for - daily confession makes me want to do a better examination of conscience.

 

[Brendan_64]

Perhaps this person simply has, or is seeking to develop, a more sensitive conscience?

I think that is very relevant. I think that today developing a more sensitive conscience runs counter to the modern notions of the desire to develop a ‘positive’ self-image to the point where criticism of a person’s behaviour is seen as not a good thing. I think that people may wish to ‘normalise’ their ‘day-to-day’ sins as actions that aren’t really that bad, but simply part of normal human living. The notion that someone else would want to go to daily Confession to confess such sins upsets some people (I think) because it suggests that ‘day-to-day’ sins are actually serious actions that we ought to confess before God and the Church. I believe that this is perhaps part of the reason some people seem to get irate when someone suggests that he wishes to go to daily Confession.

 

[CRATUS]

I think that is very relevant. I think that today developing a more sensitive conscience runs counter to the modern notions of the desire to develop a ‘positive’ self-image to the point where criticism of a person’s behaviour is seen as not a good thing. I think that people may wish to ‘normalise’ their ‘day-to-day’ sins as actions that aren’t really that bad, but simply part of normal human living. The notion that someone else would want to go to daily Confession to confess such sins upsets some people (I think) because it suggests that ‘day-to-day’ sins are actually serious actions that we ought to confess before God and the Church. I believe that this is perhaps part of the reason some people seem to get irate when someone suggests that he wishes to go to daily Confession.

They have set the standard even higher. Most of us like to believe we are good well-to-do humans and like justify are momentary “evil” impulses. When someone is holy, it shows us how sinful we are. I think that is the only reason Christ was crucified. Some people are humble enough to accept their imperfections and honestly try to change. Most are stubborn and refuse to see the harm. I am beginning to see the truth. There really is no excuse for any of our sinful behavior EVER. I could attribute it to carelessness, ignorance, etc. Most of us do not want to feel uncomfortable or face the reality we are not as good as we say we are. There is always something within us to change.

 

[CRATUS]

I do not think daily confession should ever be made an obligation. This is what I cannot stand about saying missing mass or Holy Days is a mortal sin. I honestly had no clue. It makes the Catholic Church sound controlling. I think missing mass is a sin because it is one of the ten commandments, but Holy Days.

 

[rayne89]

First, I am glad that you’ve been able to find a good church like this. Many have a very long distance to drive to get to one like this.

As for daily confession, to my mind that would be overdoing it a bit, perhaps even to the point of scrupulosity. First, you are aware that all venial sins are forgiven upon receiving communion, so if you sin venially that day (as we all do daily), you needn’t worry about confessing first. Moreover, if you do confess daily, you’ll likely have your confessor starting to counsel you about scruples before long. My personal practice is to make an act of contrition while I’m kneeling at the altar rail awaiting communion.

Second, even though one may and should confess venial sins, the need to confess them (particularly if one is a daily communicant) is not urgent, as it is in the case of mortal sin. Not spending your time in the confessional before Mass therefore would be a great courtesy to those who show up with an absolute need for confession, of which, if the other churches in your area only offer weekly confession, there could be many.

Thirdly, I would suggest making a particular day of the week your regular confession day, and every other day making an evening examination of conscience. So long as the sins are venial, confess them on your regular day, and make an act of contrition after your examen daily.

Best answer!

Our parish has confession 30 minutes before every single Mass and we have at least 3 daily Masses (extremely blessed in this regard.) Once a month is the usual recommendation by our wonderful priests (unless a mortal sin happens in between those times), every two weeks is also good. I would think once a week is the maximum before a regular confessor would intervene with concern for scrupulosity and over focus on the wrong things. Daily is quite extreme and uses up time for others who really need to be there. Parishes that a lot of confession times tend to also have parishioners who are more keenly aware of the need for confession. There is always a wait for confession at my parish and we have confession at minimum 3 times a day plus an extended period on Saturday.

Saints also flogged themselves and wore hair shirts -we have to take into consideration not everyone is called in a particular way. We want to answer God’s will for our particular path to sainthood not necessarily emulate how he called someone else that sounds particularly attractive to us. If nothing else speak to your confessor about your thoughts on daily confession and take his advice.

 

[rayne89]

I do not think daily confession should ever be made an obligation. This is what I cannot stand about saying missing mass or Holy Days is a mortal sin. I honestly had no clue. It makes the Catholic Church sound controlling. I think missing mass is a sin because it is one of the ten commandments, but Holy Days.

That could be interpreted as controlling but a better way to think of it is properly disciplined. It is very easy to think “well I’m really tired I won’t go this week.” and then over time become more lax and fall away. The church is keenly aware of human nature. Yes we should be there because we want to. But nearly all of us go through dry periods where it would be much easier to stay home. It’s during dry periods that we especially need the grace of God and the church in her wisdom knows that. We go because we must and that pulls us through those dry periods. Imagine how much longer those dry periods would be if we weren’t required to go or worse how easy it would be to fall away completely. Maybe some wouldn’t but some definitely would and that’s a loss no one wants. It’s love that requires our attendance not control.

 

[Brendan_64]

I do not think daily confession should ever be made an obligation. This is what I cannot stand about saying missing mass or Holy Days is a mortal sin. I honestly had no clue. It makes the Catholic Church sound controlling. I think missing mass is a sin because it is one of the ten commandments, but Holy Days.

These are not simply rules created by man. God created His Church founded on Peter and He gave the Church the authority to “bind and loose”. The teachings are a road-map to lead us to Heaven. It’s a bit like a driver who, despite the map showing that a certain road leads to the end destination, decides that he doesn’t like the road looks to bumpy so he goes another raod not on the map. The end result is that he gets lost and doesn’t reach his destination. Yes, missing Mass on a Holy day of obligation is the same as missing mass on a Sunday.

The Catholic Church is not a man-made institution, it is Christ’s Church on Earth, set up by Christ and given authority by Christ. When we defy the authority of what the Church teaches, then we defy the authority of Christ Himself.

 

[buc_fan33]

Greetings! I must confess (pardon the terrible pun) that I have not read through this entire thread. But, I think this is a good question. So, here is my answer. FWIW, I’m a priest, and I’ve been privileged to be God’s instrument of grace and forgiveness in thousands of confessions.

I would say a couple of things.

First, while some saints, we think, went to confession daily, this doesn’t mean EVERYONE is called to go to confession daily. I typically advise people to go once a month. While I’m not going to say how often I celebrate the sacrament personally, I will say that it is certainly not every day. Part of a mature spiritual life is discerning what God is calling you to. And, to be frank, strangers posting on a message board are not the right people to be advising you on this matter. That’s the realm of a qualified spiritual director who knows you, knows your history, what your prayer life is like, and what your state in life is.

Could there be a time when daily confession is advisable? Certainly. I can think of a couple of examples. Suppose a young man is struggling with an addiction to masturbation. Would daily confession perhaps be advisable in this area, as it is an addiction that is extremely difficult to break? Certainly. But, for regular, every day struggles? Generally speaking, these are not things to bring to confession on a daily basis.

Second, to validly celebrate the sacrament of penance, one must actually commit sins. I teach a class on sacraments in a Catholic high school, and one of the questions I always put on my test for confession is, “Could the Blessed Virgin Mary have gone to confession? Why or why not?” The correct answer is, no, she couldn’t have gone to confession. It was as impossible as trying to validly consecrate the proverbial pizza and grape juice. Why? Because she never sinned. You can’t absolve what isn’t there. So, if you ARE going to get in the habit of daily confession (and, really, this applies to anyone who wants to get in the habit of regular confession…a habit I WHOLEHEARTEDLY endorse) you need to be sure that you are actually confessing SINS, not bad feelings, not pain and suffering, not using it as a time to get Father’s ear about the latest church gossip (which might be confessional matter in itself), not asking his opinion on what Pope Francis said, but SINS. Those are the only things that Father can absolve.

Third, I think you also have to take into account a simple matter of justice. Time is limited. While we might wish every priest could be St. John Vianney, I can personally attest to the fact that that simply isn’t possible. If you only have half an hour before Mass for the sacrament, and there is someone in line who is not in a state of grace but can’t go, because you’re going going to your daily confession, that’s simply unjust. Now, if no one is in line, that might be a different story. But, my guess is, that if the parish offers daily confessions, the lines are usually long.

After all of that, my ultimate advice is this. Find a spiritual director, and follow his or her advice.

 

[GoodMorning]

Thank you so much for all your answers. I didn’t expect so many. But here’s my point: the Father Relyea quote. You think you’re holier than Saint Bonaventire? I don’t think so.

That quote made me start thinking. He was and is a saint. I’m no saint but I’m trying. And I don’t go every day, I just think you know, it’s good for me and I always learn something and the priests (the usual ones) haven’t turned me away yet. I keep saying my last confession was three days ago or whatever, and they say nothing about it.

 

[Lily_Bernans]

Thank you so much for all your answers. I didn’t expect so many. But here’s my point: the Father Relyea quote. You think you’re holier than Saint Bonaventire? I don’t think so.

That quote made me start thinking. He was and is a saint. I’m no saint but I’m trying. And I don’t go every day, I just think you know, it’s good for me and I always learn something and the priests (the usual ones) haven’t turned me away yet. I keep saying my last confession was three days ago or whatever, and they say nothing about it.

I’m not going to agree that there are no saints among us here. One never knows when they are speaking with a saint.

If the priests have no problem with you going to confession often, then go. If you ever feel it might be problematic, they are the best people to advise you. They know you.

 

[Teabag]

Are all sins forgiven in confession like ones made years ago that one has forgotten etc?

 

[Bookcat]

Are all sins forgiven in confession like ones made years ago that one has forgotten etc?

If one forgot a* mortal *sin one must confess it when one remembers it - in the next confession.

 

[GoodMorning]

I’m not going to agree that there are no saints among us here. One never knows when they are speaking with a saint.

Oh absolutely there are Saints among us, no doubt about it. Father Relyea said the “I don’t think so” quote. I’m not judging Father Relyea, I think he’s a very good man, probably a saint himself. But I didn’t understand really what he was getting at. I felt like he was pushing towards daily confession, but I’m honestly not even sure. I can link the video to this forum but it’s like an hour long. Very good talk though.

And for another thing, I know Saint Padre Pio called himself the worst sinner in the world and meant it wholeheartedly. If THAT MAN considered himself the worst sinner while constantly hearing the confessions of people who cheated on their spouses and got abortions and even killed people, then what am I?

And what many of you have been saying about turning in towards yourself, I completely understand and that’s what I was afraid of. But what I’m trying to tackle is the fact that if I learn something new with every confession, then I can be a better person. I know priests who go to confession every month or two, some who go every two weeks. I think Father Relyea actually recommended weekly confession.

But anyways, what I was trying to get at was the quote. What would Saint Boniventure have had to confess everyday? Or Saint Joan of Arc? Or Pope Pius XII? Also, I’ve heard that Saint Padre Pio had actually achieved the degree of perfection while he was alive. If he had achieved perfection and didn’t sin, what would have been the point of him going to confession?

Listen, I know I sound really confusing but I’m just trying to get to the bottom of this. I talked to a priest about this as well but he didn’t seem to have an answer. I know that multiple priests have different views. Thanks again all.

 

[Teabag]

If one forgot a* mortal *sin one must confess it when one remembers it - in the next confession.

Waw! Probably many mortal sins in my youth / young adult!!

 

[babochka]

Also, I’ve heard that Saint Padre Pio had actually achieved the degree of perfection while he was alive. If he had achieved perfection and didn’t sin, what would have been the point of him going to confession?

I don’t think any human being could ever know this.

 

[Bookcat]

Waw! Probably many mortal sins in my youth / young adult!!

Bring up the matter with your confessor in confession.

If one withholds mortal sins knowingly- the confession is invalid (and one needs to do more…confess the ones that were confessed again etc) but if one *forgets *mortal sins but seeks to confess them all and are contrite and amended it is valid -but then if you remember later you are to confess them in the next confession.

I too a while after I converted realized that I had not confess (through no fault of mine -just did not realize at the time) all of what I thought were or could have been mortal sin so I later confessed them once I realized this.

If one knows one did not (via no fault of ones own) confess all ones mortal sins - but one knows what they were (at least somewhat) then one should sit down and examine and bring them to confession in the next confession.

Of course our memory may not be the best but if we do not know the number we can approximate according to what we do know (which may mean "around 10x, or 8-10x, or many times more than 50 or even if need be I do not know - many times)

It is great to be able to confess what one remembers and be free!

Remember Jesus loves us and gives us true life- he does not expect us to be Mr. Spock but we are though to make a good confession and confess all our mortal sins according to what we recall.

 

[Brendan_64]

If one withholds mortal sins knowingly- the confession is invalid (and one needs to do more…confess the ones that were confessed again etc) but if one *forgets *mortal sins but seeks to confess them all and are contrite and amended it is valid -but then if you remember later you are to confess them in the next confession.

What you write is correct, but we must also recognise that if a person makes a confession and does genuinely forget any mortal sins from the past, then those sins are also forgiven. If you the subsequently remember them they do not become ‘unforgiven’ and yes you ought to mention them again, but it also must be recognised that those sins have already been forgiven.

From personal experience, I spent several decades away from the Church and a lot of those years I was mired in sin up to my neck. When I returned to the Church (following a sudden, out of the blue, unexpected life-changing conversion experience) I went to Confession and confessed what I could remember. After a long Confession with a very good priest, he gave me absolution. After this he clearly said that any sins that I have forgotten have also been forgiven. Since then I have brought up past sins, but have been told by different priests that I should focus on the present and not dwell on the past, my sins have been forgiven. I will still bring to Confession any sins that I remember that have been particularly serious and that will have damaged another person’s life in some way, but if I was to try to make a list of my mortal sins from my past it would take me several solid days (perhaps a week) to try to remember and write them all down and it would tie up a priest for several hours in the confessional while I listed them all to him. Perhaps the advice I was given on more than one occasion in Confession to concentrate of the present rather than the past is good advice (for me anyway).

 

[babochka]

What you write is correct, but we must also recognise that if a person makes a confession and does genuinely forget any mortal sins from the past, then those sins are also forgiven. If you the subsequently remember them they do not become ‘unforgiven’ and yes you ought to mention them again, but it also must be recognised that those sins have already been forgiven.

From personal experience, I spent several decades away from the Church and a lot of those years I was mired in sin up to my neck. When I returned to the Church (following a sudden, out of the blue, unexpected life-changing conversion experience) I went to Confession and confessed what I could remember. After a long Confession with a very good priest, he gave me absolution. After this he clearly said that any sins that I have forgotten have also been forgiven. Since then I have brought up past sins, but have been told by different priests that I should focus on the present and not dwell on the past, my sins have been forgiven. I will still bring to Confession any sins that I remember that have been particularly serious and that will have damaged another person’s life in some way, but if I was to try to make a list of my mortal sins from my past it would take me several solid days (perhaps a week) to try to remember and write them all down and it would tie up a priest for several hours in the confessional while I listed them all to him. Perhaps the advice I was given on more than one occasion in Confession to concentrate of the present rather than the past is good advice (for me anyway).

I have a very similar story, and have been told by a number of good priests just the same thing. I had a long and difficult confession, and was forgiven for those and all sins. At some point I learned that we were supposed to confess any forgotten moral sins, so I started to come to confession with sins from my distant past. I clearly understood that my previous confession had forgiven all my sins, but I was confessing past sins because I was “supposed to”. My confessor at the time was a priest of Opus Dei. He told me it was not necessary and not helpful to dig up the past - those sins were forgiven and were not a part of my current struggles. I have been told the same thing, in and out of confession by a number of trusted priests. My soul is at peace and I no longer bring up old sins unless they are relevant to current ones.