Any Advice?

[Rogare]

Hey everyone I have been a Protestant for 23 years (cradle Protestant, if you will) and feel that it’s time to make the swim. This decision has come after months of struggling (many of you have argued with me in various threads) and my wife’s unrest. She is a cradle Catholic raised in a semi-devout family; she left the Catholic Church a year after we began dating and became a member of my church (SBC). Due to her family, I’ve had a lot of discussions, arguments, and fellowship with many Catholics. As a result, I began to honestly evaluate the Church’s claims about a year ago. It wasn’t until recently I began to feel a pull that just won’t go away. However, other events have occurred that have somewhat sped up my decision.

The church I currently attend has been shrinking for years. The membership is down in enthusiasm as well as the pastor. It’s a struggle to feel nourished after a service. My wife is finding it especially hard to cope with the depressed atmosphere. As her husband, I realize it’s one of my responsibilities to ensure my family is getting the spiritual care and nourishment that they need. After a discussion with a pastor at another church (PCA), I have felt it especially pressing to make a change for my wife’s sake. We discussed several options; since I knew she was raised Catholic I asked her how she would feel about returning to the Catholic Church. She was very enthusiastic about it.

As a result of this, I’ve become more emboldened to seriously look into joining the Catholic Church. It’s for this reason I’m turning to some other converts for advice. I’m quite involved at my current church- I teach the high school Sunday school class, teach the youth on Wednesday nights, and fill in for my pastor when he’s gone. My entire family attends this church, so it’s a lot more than just a social gathering for my wife and I.

I just feel extremely guilty for leaving; I’m worried about the youth and the effect it will have on them- it is likely that they will be told by others that I have apostatized completely. I am worried about it straining my family relations. I know my leaving will be a major disappointment/shock to most of the congregation- most of them have known me since I was born. I’m incredibly worried about the draining effect it may have on an already discouraged congregation. I hope I don’t sound as if I’m trying to exaggerate my importance- I’m just trying to paint an accurate picture.

In your (converts) experience, what’s the best way to go about leaving a church under this situation? I’m just in a really hard spot- I need to take care of my wife first and foremost, but I fear the effect it will have on a congregation that is like family. Thank you so much for the (name removed by moderator)ut.

 

[Equites_Christi]

Come on in!! The water’s fine!!!

I am not a convert and cannot give advice on your very unfortunate situation, but if I were to guess I’d say ultimately the best choice is still to convert. Perhaps the failing situation at your church will lead others to more closely evaluate their own beliefs.

Also, I would be careful to make sure that you and your wife are not simply switching for a better “atmosphere.” Though ambiance can be great, it is truly the theology that matters.

After all, at every Mass, no matter how boring or what the atmosphere, there is a miracle performed - the Eucharist!
And it doesn’t need blaring soul music or people dropping on the floor having seizures to make it real (you know the kind of churches I’m talking about )

 

[Catholic1954]

Check out “Rome Sweet Home” by Scott and Kimberly Hahn. Dr. Hahn found himself in a similiar postiton and knew what he had to do. It was painful at the time, but the Lord saw him through it and the rewards were more than he could have imagined! Welcome Home!!

 

[Rogare]

Also, I would be careful to make sure that you and your wife are not simply switching for a better “atmosphere.” Though ambiance can be great, it is truly the theology that matters.

After all, at every Mass, no matter how boring or what the atmosphere, there is a miracle performed - the Eucharist!
And it doesn’t need blaring soul music or people dropping on the floor having seizures to make it real (you know the kind of churches I’m talking about )

Thank you for the kind words, friend. It is theology that has prompted me to make the switch first and foremost- my wife is simply the catalyst speeding things along. Since my wife attended Mass for 20 years, she knows exactly what she’s going back to . I truly enjoy the liturgy as well; it’s far more reverent than a Backstreet Boys cover one is likely to find at a mega-church.

 

[CaptCrunch73]

Hi Rogare,

I’m a revert not a convert so I’m not if my advice on that would be valid. However, make sure you spend prayer time with God and go where he leads you. He’ll show you the right way, you just need to respond.

God bless!

 

[Boulder257]

You may be absolutely correct in that it will have the affect that you suggest. Although, why not trust in the Holy Spirit to use it for the exact opposite affect. It may cause others to do exactly what you have. Regardless, we are not responsible for others salvation, they are and only the Holy Spirit can lead them there. But we do them a greater service by being an example and allowing the Holy Spirit to work on their hearts. Certainly staying would be providing an incorrect example and could lead people away from the Church, so it doesn’t seem that would even be an option.

Don’t think I don’t understand the emotional aspect. I am sure it will be difficult and may even lead to you losing some friends, but it may lead others to the Church as well.

God Bless and God speed. My prayers will be with you and your family.

 

[Iotaunum]

Hi

First of all you must be convinced of the truths of the Catholic Faith. It is common among protestants to go from one denomination/church to another with relative ease in many cases, which is due to the fact that they believe that Christ did not found one visible Church. As long as sola fide, sola scriptura and the core protestant doctrines are preached, a lot of protestants will find it easy to change denomination - the other issues being relatively superflous. However, as you are considering entering the Catholic Church it is quite a different change, The Church teaches that it is the One and only true Church founded by Christ and given the authority to preach in His name. It is not merely a change of denomination, as you know, but you must be completely convinced of the truth of the Catholic Faith. In other words, although your social life and family will be affected by your decision, it must be made primarily on doctrinal grounds.

When our Lord said - Matthew 10:37 - “He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me.” He was explaining that Christ and His Gospel are to be ones first priority. I, and many others know that family and friends can influence us and pressure us in many ways to Change our believes or practices, but ultimately if you are convinced of the truth of the Catholic Faith then your priority is to follow Christ, even though relations between friends etc may become strained. This may not be the case, but when it is we must Chose Christ.

Our Lord also said - Luke 12:31 - "But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his justice, and all these things shall be added unto you." - I would say don’t worry about dissapoining others etc, for if you are convinced of the Truth of the Catholic Church and join it you will follow the will of Christ and seek first His kingdom. All other matters will seem less important when you know you are doing the right thing.

Although I speak from experience in some ways, I am not a convert - I was born Catholic. I will pray for you in the mean time and suggest that you read more apologetic works in your search for the truth.

Pax Christi

 

[ChadTorgerson]

Making the switch can often be confusing for those around us. To this day, some members of my family do not understand how big of a decision this was. Others cannot believe or understand why I made the choice. At the same time, I have had a number of people that have been really supportive in the change. Ultimately, no matter what others may feel or say, the decision is between you and God. Those who truly love you will support you either way. As a man with a strong spiritual background, I am sure that you understand the power of prayer.

Instead of worrying about the possible negatives that may come out of becoming Catholic, focus on the positives. As someone who seems in tune with his faith, I think that you will love the theological depth that you can find in the Catholic Church. I know that I do.

I wish you many blessings in your journey!

Chad Torgerson
www.wakingupcatholic.com

 

[Dorothy]

It is commendable that you feel a sense of responsibility towards the ministries you were involved in, as well as your “pull” to the Catholic Church.

When one is convinced that they are making the right decision, then they need to trust the Lord in all things, and that to do His will is the best thing for all concerned. The Lord will take care of the rest.

 

[pablope]

Hey everyone I have been a Protestant for 23 years (cradle Protestant, if you will) and feel that it’s time to make the swim. This decision has come after months of struggling (many of you have argued with me in various threads) and my wife’s unrest. She is a cradle Catholic raised in a semi-devout family; she left the Catholic Church a year after we began dating and became a member of my church (SBC). Due to her family, I’ve had a lot of discussions, arguments, and fellowship with many Catholics. As a result, I began to honestly evaluate the Church’s claims about a year ago. It wasn’t until recently I began to feel a pull that just won’t go away. However, other events have occurred that have somewhat sped up my decision.

In your (converts) experience, what’s the best way to go about leaving a church under this situation? I’m just in a really hard spot- I need to take care of my wife first and foremost, but I fear the effect it will have on a congregation that is like family. Thank you so much for the (name removed by moderator)ut.

Hi, Rogare…try contacting the Coming Home Network…led by Marcus Grodi, a former pastor too…here is the link: chnetwork.org/

God bless…keep on praying…and you will be in our prayers in your journey.

 

[Swiss_Guy]

My advice is join the Church . It may be hard on your congregation, but it will be worth it for you. I think you should talk to your family and congregation (if it’s small) or pastor about why you are making the change; maybe that will make you feel less guilty, and open their eyes as to how you aren’t apostatizing, but making the right choice. I’m going to be going through the same thing as you in a few years with my family (my congregation has 8000+ people, they could care less). So good luck and God bless .

 

[lutherlic]

Rogare, you can’t worry about what people are told. Those who truly know and love you will continue to. You also can’t save your old church – it’s not your responsibility.

Joining the Catholic Church takes some time, as I am sure you know. Many parishes start RCIA in late August or early September so it would be great for you to get started. That doesn’t mean you have to abandon your old church… you can always help them as long as you like and they allow it. This can give them time for the transition of any functions you have taken on.

Everyone who converts (and there are many) has a story. There are lots of common elements, but each journey is also unique. You may find it helpful to read some. I publish an online resource that lists conversion stories of bloggers, links to other convert stories and a good list of books by converts. Check it out here.

 

[MarkBrown]

Hey everyone I have been a Protestant for 23 years (cradle Protestant, if you will) and feel that it’s time to make the swim. This decision has come after months of struggling (many of you have argued with me in various threads) and my wife’s unrest. She is a cradle Catholic raised in a semi-devout family; she left the Catholic Church a year after we began dating and became a member of my church (SBC). Due to her family, I’ve had a lot of discussions, arguments, and fellowship with many Catholics. As a result, I began to honestly evaluate the Church’s claims about a year ago. It wasn’t until recently I began to feel a pull that just won’t go away. However, other events have occurred that have somewhat sped up my decision.

The church I currently attend has been shrinking for years. The membership is down in enthusiasm as well as the pastor. It’s a struggle to feel nourished after a service. My wife is finding it especially hard to cope with the depressed atmosphere. As her husband, I realize it’s one of my responsibilities to ensure my family is getting the spiritual care and nourishment that they need. After a discussion with a pastor at another church (PCA), I have felt it especially pressing to make a change for my wife’s sake. We discussed several options; since I knew she was raised Catholic I asked her how she would feel about returning to the Catholic Church. She was very enthusiastic about it.

As a result of this, I’ve become more emboldened to seriously look into joining the Catholic Church. It’s for this reason I’m turning to some other converts for advice. I’m quite involved at my current church- I teach the high school Sunday school class, teach the youth on Wednesday nights, and fill in for my pastor when he’s gone. My entire family attends this church, so it’s a lot more than just a social gathering for my wife and I.

I just feel extremely guilty for leaving; I’m worried about the youth and the effect it will have on them- it is likely that they will be told by others that I have apostatized completely. I am worried about it straining my family relations. I know my leaving will be a major disappointment/shock to most of the congregation- most of them have known me since I was born. I’m incredibly worried about the draining effect it may have on an already discouraged congregation. I hope I don’t sound as if I’m trying to exaggerate my importance- I’m just trying to paint an accurate picture.

In your (converts) experience, what’s the best way to go about leaving a church under this situation? I’m just in a really hard spot- I need to take care of my wife first and foremost, but I fear the effect it will have on a congregation that is like family. Thank you so much for the (name removed by moderator)ut.

I was a protestant minister. First a SBC pastor then an Anglican priest. My wife remained Catholic the entire time…about 25 years. So I do understand what you are feeling. I cried when I left my Anglican parish. You must go, regardless, where God leads you.

If you truly want to come into the Church,

1. Be sure you believe all the Church teaches. Do not convert just to make it easier on your wife. For a period of time I worshiped seperately from my wife and children. Convert because you believe. No other reason will make catholicism your faith.
2. Convert, no joining. Joining is a protestant concept. You will be converting your thinking, spirituality and theology. A conversion is a total change.
   Two books, besides the Catechisms, that help me were Alexander Schmemann For the Lif e of the World and Thomas Howard Evangelical is not Enough.
3. Have you spoken with your pastor? If not speak with him now. It is the right and honorable thing to do. If you hold to Catholic theology, teaching or trying to teach baptistic theology will not do. Work with him on a timeline out.
4. Be ready to make a defense of your faith.
5. Be ready and prepared to loose friends, even close friends and family. If it does not happen, praise God for his mercy. But do be ready for the period of alone you will go through. Once you plug into your local parish, with time some relationships will be rebuilt and new ones made.
6. Once you are ready to convert, find a priest who will be willing to talk with you and guide you. If you are ordained or have seminary training, RCIA is not for you. One on one with a deacon or priest.
7. Coming Home Network for some good resources. They are not too keen to give out peoples contact information.
8. I do not know where you live, but if you are close to Pensacola, Florida I would be more than happy to spend time with you, answer your questions and walk with you in our faith.

PM me.

Mark

 

[maolszewski]

Check out “Rome Sweet Home” by Scott and Kimberly Hahn. Dr. Hahn found himself in a similiar postiton and knew what he had to do. It was painful at the time, but the Lord saw him through it and the rewards were more than he could have imagined! Welcome Home!!

Excellent book! I read it in 1 day!

 

[CopticChristian]

Hey everyone I have been a Protestant for 23 years (cradle Protestant, if you will) and feel that it’s time to make the swim. This decision has come after months of struggling (many of you have argued with me in various threads) and my wife’s unrest. She is a cradle Catholic raised in a semi-devout family; she left the Catholic Church a year after we began dating and became a member of my church (SBC). Due to her family, I’ve had a lot of discussions, arguments, and fellowship with many Catholics. As a result, I began to honestly evaluate the Church’s claims about a year ago. It wasn’t until recently I began to feel a pull that just won’t go away. However, other events have occurred that have somewhat sped up my decision.

The church I currently attend has been shrinking for years. The membership is down in enthusiasm as well as the pastor. It’s a struggle to feel nourished after a service. My wife is finding it especially hard to cope with the depressed atmosphere. As her husband, I realize it’s one of my responsibilities to ensure my family is getting the spiritual care and nourishment that they need. After a discussion with a pastor at another church (PCA), I have felt it especially pressing to make a change for my wife’s sake. We discussed several options; since I knew she was raised Catholic I asked her how she would feel about returning to the Catholic Church. She was very enthusiastic about it.

As a result of this, I’ve become more emboldened to seriously look into joining the Catholic Church. It’s for this reason I’m turning to some other converts for advice. I’m quite involved at my current church- I teach the high school Sunday school class, teach the youth on Wednesday nights, and fill in for my pastor when he’s gone. My entire family attends this church, so it’s a lot more than just a social gathering for my wife and I.

I just feel extremely guilty for leaving; I’m worried about the youth and the effect it will have on them- it is likely that they will be told by others that I have apostatized completely. I am worried about it straining my family relations. I know my leaving will be a major disappointment/shock to most of the congregation- most of them have known me since I was born. I’m incredibly worried about the draining effect it may have on an already discouraged congregation. I hope I don’t sound as if I’m trying to exaggerate my importance- I’m just trying to paint an accurate picture.

In your (converts) experience, what’s the best way to go about leaving a church under this situation? I’m just in a really hard spot- I need to take care of my wife first and foremost, but I fear the effect it will have on a congregation that is like family. Thank you so much for the (name removed by moderator)ut.

I am no convert, however I have spoken to many, that suggest that this is tantamount to divorce as a life changing experience. Soak in Scott Hahn and others. If you have not heard his study on the Book of Romans, get it, listen to it over and over again. All the books like Evangelical is not enough and others are out there. Listen to Catholic Radio, talk to a priest, talk to your wife, stop giving me a hard time and I think that should do it.

 

[CopticChristian]

Hey everyone I have been a Protestant for 23 years (cradle Protestant, if you will) and feel that it’s time to make the swim. This decision has come after months of struggling (many of you have argued with me in various threads) and my wife’s unrest. She is a cradle Catholic raised in a semi-devout family; she left the Catholic Church a year after we began dating and became a member of my church (SBC). Due to her family, I’ve had a lot of discussions, arguments, and fellowship with many Catholics. As a result, I began to honestly evaluate the Church’s claims about a year ago. It wasn’t until recently I began to feel a pull that just won’t go away. However, other events have occurred that have somewhat sped up my decision.

The church I currently attend has been shrinking for years. The membership is down in enthusiasm as well as the pastor. It’s a struggle to feel nourished after a service. My wife is finding it especially hard to cope with the depressed atmosphere. As her husband, I realize it’s one of my responsibilities to ensure my family is getting the spiritual care and nourishment that they need. After a discussion with a pastor at another church (PCA), I have felt it especially pressing to make a change for my wife’s sake. We discussed several options; since I knew she was raised Catholic I asked her how she would feel about returning to the Catholic Church. She was very enthusiastic about it.

As a result of this, I’ve become more emboldened to seriously look into joining the Catholic Church. It’s for this reason I’m turning to some other converts for advice. I’m quite involved at my current church- I teach the high school Sunday school class, teach the youth on Wednesday nights, and fill in for my pastor when he’s gone. My entire family attends this church, so it’s a lot more than just a social gathering for my wife and I.

I just feel extremely guilty for leaving; I’m worried about the youth and the effect it will have on them- it is likely that they will be told by others that I have apostatized completely. I am worried about it straining my family relations. I know my leaving will be a major disappointment/shock to most of the congregation- most of them have known me since I was born. I’m incredibly worried about the draining effect it may have on an already discouraged congregation. I hope I don’t sound as if I’m trying to exaggerate my importance- I’m just trying to paint an accurate picture.

In your (converts) experience, what’s the best way to go about leaving a church under this situation? I’m just in a really hard spot- I need to take care of my wife first and foremost, but I fear the effect it will have on a congregation that is like family. Thank you so much for the (name removed by moderator)ut.

I forgot, if you have not read any papal encyclicals do so. Veritatis Splendor is a good one. The recent Benedict encyclicals on Faith, Hope are good. Look at the reference to prior encyclicals and follow those back and read those, keep doing that until you can’t go any further. You will be exposed to a stream of consistent thought that could never be produced by man alone. The Catechism is a must. The liturgy of the hours are daily prayers. All of this is online. If you still have doubts after soaking in and praying about all this, ask an Apologist.

 

[valentino]

Hey everyone I have been a Protestant for 23 years (cradle Protestant, if you will) and feel that it’s time to make the swim. This decision has come after months of struggling (many of you have argued with me in various threads) and my wife’s unrest. She is a cradle Catholic raised in a semi-devout family; she left the Catholic Church a year after we began dating and became a member of my church (SBC). Due to her family, I’ve had a lot of discussions, arguments, and fellowship with many Catholics. As a result, I began to honestly evaluate the Church’s claims about a year ago. It wasn’t until recently I began to feel a pull that just won’t go away. However, other events have occurred that have somewhat sped up my decision.

The church I currently attend has been shrinking for years. The membership is down in enthusiasm as well as the pastor. It’s a struggle to feel nourished after a service. My wife is finding it especially hard to cope with the depressed atmosphere. As her husband, I realize it’s one of my responsibilities to ensure my family is getting the spiritual care and nourishment that they need. After a discussion with a pastor at another church (PCA), I have felt it especially pressing to make a change for my wife’s sake. We discussed several options; since I knew she was raised Catholic I asked her how she would feel about returning to the Catholic Church. She was very enthusiastic about it.

As a result of this, I’ve become more emboldened to seriously look into joining the Catholic Church. It’s for this reason I’m turning to some other converts for advice. I’m quite involved at my current church- I teach the high school Sunday school class, teach the youth on Wednesday nights, and fill in for my pastor when he’s gone. My entire family attends this church, so it’s a lot more than just a social gathering for my wife and I.

I just feel extremely guilty for leaving; I’m worried about the youth and the effect it will have on them- it is likely that they will be told by others that I have apostatized completely. I am worried about it straining my family relations. I know my leaving will be a major disappointment/shock to most of the congregation- most of them have known me since I was born. I’m incredibly worried about the draining effect it may have on an already discouraged congregation. I hope I don’t sound as if I’m trying to exaggerate my importance- I’m just trying to paint an accurate picture.

In your (converts) experience, what’s the best way to go about leaving a church under this situation? I’m just in a really hard spot- I need to take care of my wife first and foremost, but I fear the effect it will have on a congregation that is like family. Thank you so much for the (name removed by moderator)ut.

I can understand your attachment to the church and its youth but don’t worry about be called an apostate.To be an apostate to a church which doesn’t have the whole truth taught is not a bad thing.Even if the youth left their church what is so wrong with that?It would cause them to stop believing in God or it shouldn’t.anyway it wouldn’t be your fault.Do you see these people in places other than church?I assume you do because you say you’ve known some since childhood.Since i’ve never been in your position i suppose it could be embarrasing to leave.You seemed so worried about the dwindling congregation.If its dwindling maybe the people don’t care for the church and they will find another one.What’s wrong with that?You sound as if you have an obligation to this church.Even if you do you still should feel that you have a right to change if you’re not satisfied with it.What are you afraid of ?What do you think will become of the congregation members?

 

[Rogare]

I appreciate all the kind replies. My wife is scheduling a meeting with her priest for us to talk to. Just to clarify something: my wife isn’t the one spearheading this change. We had been discussing a change for a while, and she was completely taken aback by my suggestion of looking into the Catholic Church. As far as she knew, that wasn’t even an option. We plan on attending Mass Saturday evening. I’ll keep you updated in this thread how things are progressing. I appreciate the thoughts and prayers.

 

[AlwaysCurious]

Hi Rogare,

I sympathize with you brother. I too shocked my friends and family with my conversion, and I also left some positions of leadership. I too was concerned about the effect on others.

The fact that you are concerned about your congregation simply shows that you love them. Continue to love them. Pray for them; let them know you are not oblivious to their concerns; be prepared to answer them with charity when they ask you questions (and my guess is that they will!). If you are convinced that Catholicism is what it claims to be, you are in for a great deal of joy as you enter the Church, and that joy can be shared with those who are prepared to receive it.

Let them know that you are not so much abandoning them as you are embracing Christ all the more fully. You are running toward Someone, not away from someone. This will probably involve some suffering for you and for them; but our suffering can always bring us closer to Christ and sanctify us. Repeat Colossians 1:24 often. One way or another, all this will bear fruit.

Rest assured many prayers are being offered for you!

 

[Rogare]

It’s been a while since my last post (things have been hectic with school starting back!). I was finally able to attend Mass this past Sunday. It was a truly incredible experience; I have little desire to return to regular Protestant church services. The music, the incense, the prayers and creeds, and the Eucharist were all so moving (for lack of a better word). I’m at a loss to adequately describe the feelings I had at Mass. I was so overwhelmned by the solemn atmosphere and the full worship of Christ. My wife and I are meeting with the Priest on Friday to discuss a few practical and theological matters. I’ll let you know how the meeting goes.