Any Ideas?

[Oneofthewomen]

Thanks for your help, but you’re really making me sound like a complete basket case. I’m mentally sound. There is nothing insane about me. I’m just scrupulous. I don’t need to be thrown into a mental institution. What I have is an extremely common brain chemical imbalance that causes me to worry which most people have but don’t realize.

And when did I say that you were “insane, a complete basket case and belong in a mental institution”?

Oh, I didn’t.
Stop putting words in my mouth.

You come to this board & ask for advice. I gave you advice, based on the information you gave.

I have a pyschology/pastoral ministry background and have personally dealt with scrupulosity.
I am also old enough to be your mother.
What I am doing is giving you the same advice I would give my own son.
If you don’t want it, why come here and ask?

 

[guanophore]

Thanks for your help, but you’re really making me sound like a complete basket case. I’m mentally sound. There is nothing insane about me. I’m just scrupulous. I don’t need to be thrown into a mental institution. What I have is an extremely common brain chemical imbalance that causes me to worry which most people have but don’t realize.

Everybody can benefit from mental health counseling. A person does not have to be a “basket case” or ready for the mental institution. It is no different than going to see a medical specialist on an outpatient basis. You seem to be suffering from a stigma attached to mental health.

Obsessive thinking,anxiety, and perseveration (not being able to get your mind off something) all respond to many simple mental health techniques that are easy for an intelligent person to learn.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

Everybody can benefit from mental health counseling. A person does not have to be a “basket case” or ready for the mental institution. It is no different than going to see a medical specialist on an outpatient basis. You seem to be suffering from a stigma attached to mental health.

Obsessive thinking,anxiety, and perseveration (not being able to get your mind off something) all respond to many simple mental health techniques that are easy for an intelligent person to learn.

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

Have you done any penance? The most effective IMO is to fast from meat. Start out on Fridays, bread and water only for the whole day. Also, fast from alcohol, maybe pick a day on the weekend. Then as you get stronger (more disciplined) try another day of fasting from meat. Fasting from meat will help in your struggle against the flesh, while fasting from alcohol will help in the struggle of all other ‘passions’, since Satan will always take advantage of any situation in which you give up control of yourself. He knows the effects of alcohol and other intoxicants, and takes full advantages of our weaknesses.
It seems to me that though you may have repented from actively partaking in pornography, the devil will try to grab you when you least expect it. The demon of Lust is like a heavy wet blanket that sticks to you and is very, very difficult to get rid of. Even if you peel the blanket off, the fuzz remains and it itches and digs into you even when you don’t really know it’s still there. Fasting and prayer will go a long way to driving away that evil influence, as the more you are purified the stronger you will become.

I had a two and a half year long masturbation and porn addiction which was only broke by a complete miracle. Trust me, I learned self-mastery.

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

And when did I say that you were “insane, a complete basket case and belong in a mental institution”?

Oh, I didn’t.
Stop putting words in my mouth.

You come to this board & ask for advice. I gave you advice, based on the information you gave.

I have a pyschology/pastoral ministry background and have personally dealt with scrupulosity.
I am also old enough to be your mother.
What I am doing is giving you the same advice I would give my own son.
If you don’t want it, why come here and ask?

When did I say that you did? Oh wait, I didn’t. This was simply the idea I was getting from you. I asked for advice and you gave it to me. You simply kept giving me advice after that which has been decided I do not need.

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

Everybody can benefit from mental health counseling. A person does not have to be a “basket case” or ready for the mental institution. It is no different than going to see a medical specialist on an outpatient basis. You seem to be suffering from a stigma attached to mental health.

Obsessive thinking,anxiety, and perseveration (not being able to get your mind off something) all respond to many simple mental health techniques that are easy for an intelligent person to learn.

And I am indeed an intelligent person. I’m simply scrupulous. As someone previously said, the mind is much like the body. I’ve done karate for almost eleven years. If you tried to punch me my body would react immediately without me thinking about it. It’s the same for the cranium: Train it to think of one thing all of the time and it automatically will without you wanting it to. My thoughts have gotten a lot better. I’m not reminded of sex every moment of the day. It’s gotten down to where I only think of these things if I accidentally see a naked women or something along the lines of that. And even then I’ve found personal ways on how to not think about them and forget these thoughts immediately. My mind isn’t really that bad. I have no clue why everyone gets the impression I have these thoughts every second of the day.

 

[Blossoming]

Instead of trying to ward off evil, it is better to press oneself into the good. .

This is excellent advice, imho.

Also I agree that this sounds more like something for a therapist than for a priest. Catholicism is 100% about mental health because we love God best by taking care of ourselves and being as healthy as we can so we can deal with the world and other people with appropriate boundaries and perspectives.

I pray that you find relief from obessions and addictions and find also belief that confessing and being forgiven is enough, even though we have to remember to do that for each new set of sins. Christ died for our sins and then set aside a body of priests to take confession so that sinners could acknowledge their sins but then move forward with living life healthier without wallowing on past sins in a less than useful manner. The intent is to learn, grow and become more in line with God’s plan for you on your spiritual journey.

Not believing that God loves you enough to truly cleanse your spirit indicates a need to study more on the theology of confession.

While I have never suffered from addictions, I know that for many addictions are real and that chemical imbalances and other issues are also real, painful and something people struggle with. I hope you succeed in your struggles with those issues.

 

[guanophore]

When did I say that you did? Oh wait, I didn’t.

Thanks for your help, but you’re really making me sound like a complete basket case. I’m mentally sound. There is nothing insane about me. I’m just scrupulous. I don’t need to be thrown into a mental institution. What I have is an extremely common brain chemical imbalance that causes me to worry which most people have but don’t realize.

No one said you are insane, and being “insane” is not required to seek the assistance of a behavioral health professional.

This was simply the idea I was getting from you. I asked for advice and you gave it to me. You simply kept giving me advice after that which has been decided I do not need.

Then it was your idea you were getting, Teutonic. She never said anything to indicate your response. You are suffering from a stigma against seeking behavioral health services.

On what basis did you decide you didn’t need that advice?

If it was your warped perception of the role of behavioral health intervention then it is based upon a falsehood.

 

[guanophore]

And I am indeed an intelligent person.

Clearly, although possibly suffering some denial.

I’m simply scrupulous. As someone previously said, the mind is much like the body. I’ve done karate for almost eleven years. If you tried to punch me my body would react immediately without me thinking about it. It’s the same for the cranium: Train it to think of one thing all of the time and it automatically will without you wanting it to. My thoughts have gotten a lot better. I’m not reminded of sex every moment of the day. It’s gotten down to where I only think of these things if I accidentally see a naked women or something along the lines of that. And even then I’ve found personal ways on how to not think about them and forget these thoughts immediately.

Yes, as a long time student of karate I understand your point completely.

My mind isn’t really that bad. I have no clue why everyone gets the impression I have these thoughts every second of the day.

That is the point. You mind does not have to be “that bad” for you to get some behavioral health assistance. They can teach you techniques, just like you learn in the dojo, that will work on your thinking patterns.

For a long time, I read pornography. Of course, these stories used a shocking amount of slang words. What amazes me is that 99% of these words are commonly used words. And because of that, now that I’ve stopped reading these stories, every time someone says a normal sentence, I’m reminded about how sick people have ruined a few of the words in that persons’ sentence. I can’t even read prayers anymore, because many commonly used words in prayers are sexual nowadays, and it’s getting to where I hate praying because it constantly reminds me of sex. How do I stop this? I’ve asked God to help me, but it hasn’t been too successful. Any ideas?

Gee…could it have been something you said?

 

[Oneofthewomen]

Then it was your idea you were getting, Teutonic. She never said anything to indicate your response. You are suffering from a stigma against seeking behavioral health services.

On what basis did you decide you didn’t need that advice?

If it was your warped perception of the role of behavioral health intervention then it is based upon a falsehood.

I want to respond to this -

I believe that guanophore is on to something here, Teutonic.

I have done nothing but respond to ***your ***words. As I have said, if you were my son, I would be giving you the same advice.

I know that you have said more than once that you aspire to be a priest or a friar. I am not sure about the orders, but if you want to become a diocesean priest in the US, you will have to follow the guidelines in
*The Program of Priestly Formation, *which you can find here.

I want, in particular, to draw your attention to the Norms for the Admission of Candidates which begins with paragraph 42, pg. 31 of the the pdf.

Peace be with you on your journey.

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

Clearly, although possibly suffering some denial.

Yes, as a long time student of karate I understand your point completely.

That is the point. You mind does not have to be “that bad” for you to get some behavioral health assistance. They can teach you techniques, just like you learn in the dojo, that will work on your thinking patterns.

Gee…could it have been something you said?

Well, it’s a play-on-play of words. I said she made it seem like I was a “basket case”. I never said she did. There is indeed a difference. However, thank you for your posts. They were very educational.

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

I want to respond to this -

I believe that guanophore is on to something here, Teutonic.

I have done nothing but respond to ***your ***words. As I have said, if you were my son, I would be giving you the same advice.

I know that you have said more than once that you aspire to be a priest or a friar. I am not sure about the orders, but if you want to become a diocesean priest in the US, you will have to follow the guidelines in
*The Program of Priestly Formation, *which you can find here.

I want, in particular, to draw your attention to the Norms for the Admission of Candidates which begins with paragraph 42, pg. 31 of the the pdf.

Peace be with you on your journey.

Can you please just copy and paste the words? My computer is unable to load it. However, whatever it is, I hope it’s not another crack about immaturity, as I’m getting a little sick and tired of those. Fifteen does not equal immaturity. In fact, I hate interacting with people my age because they are so immature. I’m much more comfortable with adults. These adults I hang out with always tell me that I’m very well-behaved and very mature. Not once has anyone told me that I was acting out of line. Again, I have no clue what this paragraph says, so if it is not a crack about immaturity don’t take it personal. I’ve simply been told that I’m too young, too immature, and too stupid to ever become a Priest or Friar too many times.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

Can you please just copy and paste the words? My computer is unable to load it. However, whatever it is, I hope it’s not another crack about immaturity, as I’m getting a little sick and tired of those. Fifteen does not equal immaturity. In fact, I hate interacting with people my age because they are so immature. I’m much more comfortable with adults. These adults I hang out with always tell me that I’m very well-behaved and very mature. Not once has anyone told me that I was acting out of line. Again, I have no clue what this paragraph says, so if it is not a crack about immaturity don’t take it personal. I’ve simply been told that I’m too young, too immature, and too stupid to ever become a Priest or Friar too many times.

No, I cannot, because it is much more than just one paragraph.
I am sure that if you ask your priest or call the diocese vocations department you can get a copy of it.

And no, it is not a “crack” about immaturity. But, regardless of what you want to believe, 15 is too young to be making any decisions about what you are going to do with the rest of your life. Discern where you are being called, yes. But it is a process, and one that requires you to confront your inner most self, with the help of qualified people, to help you along the way.

You say you want to be a priest. This link I gave you will guide you through step-by-step what the Catholic Church in the US expects from it’s formation candidates. It is not an easy road.
Seems to me, the wise thing to do would be to read it.

 

[kozlosap]

Can you please just copy and paste the words? My computer is unable to load it. However, whatever it is, I hope it’s not another crack about immaturity, as I’m getting a little sick and tired of those. Fifteen does not equal immaturity. In fact, I hate interacting with people my age because they are so immature. I’m much more comfortable with adults. These adults I hang out with always tell me that I’m very well-behaved and very mature. Not once has anyone told me that I was acting out of line. Again, I have no clue what this paragraph says, so if it is not a crack about immaturity don’t take it personal. I’ve simply been told that I’m too young, too immature, and too stupid to ever become a Priest or Friar too many times.

The Goals of Human Formation
85.
The qualities to be fostered in a human formation program are
freedom, openness, honesty and flexibility, joy and inner peace, generosity
and justice, personal maturity, interpersonal skills, common sense, apti-
tude for ministry, and growth “in moral sensibility and character.”60
86.
Candidates should give evidence of having interiorized their sem-
inary formation. Growth in self-awareness and sound personal identity are
the hallmarks of a healthy personality that establishes a secure basis for
the spiritual life. Such growth may be demonstrated by sound prudential
judgment; sense of responsibility and personal initiative; a capacity for
courageous and decisive leadership; an ability to establish and maintain
wholesome friendships; and an ability to work in a collaborative, profes-
59
See the Association of Theological Schools (ATS), Pittsburgh, Standard A, A 3.1.3. Cf. CCEO, c. 346§2,
8°: “Let them also esteem and cultivate those virtues that are most valued by people and commend the
minister of Christ, among which are sincerity, a keen concern for justice, a spirit of poverty, fidelity to
one’s promises, good manners, modesty in conversation joined with charity.”
60
ATS Standard A, A 4.1.1

Just a paragraph from Priestly Formation…

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

No, I cannot, because it is much more than just one paragraph.
I am sure that if you ask your priest or call the diocese vocations department you can get a copy of it.

And no, it is not a “crack” about immaturity. But, regardless of what you want to believe, 15 is too young to be making any decisions about what you are going to do with the rest of your life. Discern where you are being called, yes. But it is a process, and one that requires you to confront your inner most self, with the help of qualified people, to help you along the way.

You say you want to be a priest. This link I gave you will guide you through step-by-step what the Catholic Church in the US expects from it’s formation candidates. It is not an easy road.
Seems to me, the wise thing to do would be to read it.

First, I would like to say thank you. All you’re doing is trying to help.

Second, I realize fifteen is usually too young to decide what I want to do, but let’s take a quick look at a small list of Saints who knew what they were called to do when they were extremely young: Saint Padre Pio, Saint John Vianney, Saint Therese, Saint John Bosco, Saint Anthony, etc. In fact, Saint Anthony decided he was going to be a Priest on his fifteenth birthday. This is what I did. I prayed to him for many weeks, asking him to help me discern what I was to do on my fifteenth birthday as well, and he did. I am going to be a Priest. Whether it’s a Diocesan or not, I still don’t know, but I will become a Priest.

As a quick insight to the other Saints I listed, Saint Padre Pio wanted to become a Capuchin Friar when he was around eight or ten, and he entered when he was fifteen. Saint Therese decided she wanted to become a Carmelite when she was thirteen or fourteen (I can’t remember which one), and she entered when she was fourteen after Lent. Saint John Vianney knew when he was around four that he was called to be a Priest, and Saint John Bosco knew he was called to the Priesthood when he was around eight or so. Tell me, if these ordinary people could do it, why couldn’t I?

 

[Oneofthewomen]

First, I would like to say thank you. All you’re doing is trying to help.

Second, I realize fifteen is usually too young to decide what I want to do, but let’s take a quick look at a small list of Saints who knew what they were called to do when they were extremely young: Saint Padre Pio, Saint John Vianney, Saint Therese, Saint John Bosco, Saint Anthony, etc. In fact, Saint Anthony decided he was going to be a Priest on his fifteenth birthday. This is what I did. I prayed to him for many weeks, asking him to help me discern what I was to do on my fifteenth birthday as well, and he did. I am going to be a Priest. Whether it’s a Diocesan or not, I still don’t know, but I will become a Priest.

As a quick insight to the other Saints I listed, Saint Padre Pio wanted to become a Capuchin Friar when he was around eight or ten, and he entered when he was fifteen. Saint Therese decided she wanted to become a Carmelite when she was thirteen or fourteen (I can’t remember which one), and she entered when she was fourteen after Lent. Saint John Vianney knew when he was around four that he was called to be a Priest, and Saint John Bosco knew he was called to the Priesthood when he was around eight or so. Tell me, if these ordinary people could do it, why couldn’t I?

No one is telling you that you can’t.
All I am saying is is that there is a correct way to seek the vocation.
If you truly are being called, why would you not want to surround yourself with people who will support, encourage and challenge you along the journey.
I’ve given you a resource and you don’t even want to be bothered with it. Is this what you think maturity is?

Arguing with people who are trying to help you achieve your goal because you don’t like what they say
and using arguements like, “Well look at theses guys, they did, why can’t I?” when no one said you couldn’t is just proof to me that you need to “grow up”!

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

No one is telling you that you can’t.
All I am saying is is that there is a correct way to seek the vocation.
If you truly are being called, why would you not want to surround yourself with people who will support, encourage and challenge you along the journey.
I’ve given you a resource and you don’t even want to be bothered with it. Is this what you think maturity is?

Arguing with people who are trying to help you achieve your goal because you don’t like what they say
and using arguements like, “Well look at theses guys, they did, why can’t I?” when no one said you couldn’t is just proof to me that you need to “grow up”!

Don’t want to be bothered with it? My computer can’t handle it. I tried. I don’t believe my computer’s limitations are a sign of immaturity.

And as for deciding my future, well, every Catholic Apologist and Saint I listen to and read about says now is always the time to decide my future. Everybody trustworthy I talk to says that now is the time because the time is short. I never said that you or others were saying that I couldn’t do it. I agree, deciding now for most is ill-advised, as most should have an open mind. I have the same attitude. I’m still discerning what type of Priest I want to be.

Also, on another note, saying “These people did it, so why can’t I?” is not immature in the least. I don’t think you read it in the proper tone. You most likely read it with a whiny tone, while I wrote it with an enthusiastic tone. I’m rather confused, to be honest. You say I’m immature when all I did was thank you for your help and explain my position. I think the problem is we have two completely different personalities and different views on life so we can’t get along very well. I would advise that we try not to speak to each other on matters that we know we disagree on, should we end up having a fight.

 

[guanophore]

Well, it’s a play-on-play of words. I said she made it seem like I was a “basket case”. I never said she did. There is indeed a difference. However, thank you for your posts. They were very educational.

Yes, there is indeed a difference. What she says, belongs to her. What "seems’ belongs to you. Don’t take it personal, though. Most people have stigma attached to mental hygiene issues. It has been a long and uphill battle trying to help people understand that emotional and behavioral issues should be treated with the same standards as physical complaints. When you have chest pain problem, you go see a doc. When you have heartache, you go see a therapist. Neither makes you “insane” or in need of hospitalization.

 

[guanophore]

Can you please just copy and paste the words? My computer is unable to load it.

No, we are not allowed to paste that much material. However, just download the newest adobe reader and it will open for you!

However, whatever it is, I hope it’s not another crack about immaturity, as I’m getting a little sick and tired of those. Fifteen does not equal immaturity.

That is a hard pill to swallow for those of us who are old enough to be your grandparent.

But, you are right, these issues are unrelated to a person’s age, or maturity. While younger males tend to suffer more from continence issues due to hormonal states, any man of any age can struggle with them, and so can females.

Again, I have no clue what this paragraph says, so if it is not a crack about immaturity don’t take it personal. I’ve simply been told that I’m too young, too immature, and too stupid to ever become a Priest or Friar too many times.

It has nothing to do with it. It is about behavioral issues and people seeking the priesthood.

 

[guanophore]

Don’t want to be bothered with it? My computer can’t handle it. I tried. I don’t believe my computer’s limitations are a sign of immaturity.

Maybe you can order a paper copy? old.usccb.org/vocations/
It’s called Priestly Formation.

And as for deciding my future, well, every Catholic Apologist and Saint I listen to and read about says now is always the time to decide my future. Everybody trustworthy I talk to says that now is the time because the time is short. I never said that you or others were saying that I couldn’t do it. I agree, deciding now for most is ill-advised, as most should have an open mind. I have the same attitude. I’m still discerning what type of Priest I want to be.

One of the things you will learn as you progress through the discernment process is that most people who feel this call do not eventually become priests. Those that do must give up their idea of “what type of priest I want to be”, and seek to find out what type of priest the Lord wants them to be, if at all. It is not up to you, it is up to Him, for many are called, and few are chosen. And, although you may have a valid calling, the Church may choose not to ordain you. She decides who will serve as priests, not the candidate.

I'm rather confused, to be honest. You say I'm immature when all I did was thank you for your help and explain my position. I think the problem is we have two completely different personalities and different views on life so we can't get along very well. I would advise that we try not to speak to each other on matters that we know we disagree on, should we end up having a fight.

Hopefully, along the way, you will learn some skills to interact with others that see things differently than you do. This is one of the signs of maturity.