Any insights?

[Julie_de_Sales]

I hope I will make myself clear, even if it’s a little bit hard to find the words. Let’s say that I always wanted to have an alter ego, someone who could truly understand me and advise me and be there for me when my life gets difficult. A friend who will never leave me, no matter what. A friend to whom I would be able to tell my biggest secrets and share my wildest dreams. In reality, I don’t have one. I have friends and other people around me who have my confidence and I am free to talk with them about myself at a certain level, but every one of them is limited. To some I can talk about religion, to others about school, to others about my family, etc but I haven’t found my alter ego as I described it before. Does it really exist? I feel that my current friendships (which are good, BTW) can’t fulfill this need in my heart.

Another thing is that I can become very emotionally attached to others, even/especially to people whom I don’t know very well and who don’t know me either, but somehow I can see the *potential * in them (to understand me, advise me, etc) and I just can’t imagine my life without them. It’s silly, because sometimes they are teachers, priests, realatives who live far away from me or just people to whom I shouldn’t have a close relationship with. But when life separates us (priests move, I finish school) I can easily get over the pain, perhaps because I find someone else to replace them.

Any insights? I understand that maybe you don’t understand what I mean, it’s a little bit of confusion in my head, but it’s something I have reflected a lot upon.

 

[LPS]

I hope I will make myself clear, even if it’s a little bit hard to find the words. Let’s say that I always wanted to have an alter ego, someone who could truly understand me and advise me and be there for me when my life gets difficult. A friend who will never leave me, no matter what. A friend to whom I would be able to tell my biggest secrets and share my wildest dreams. In reality, I don’t have one. I have friends and other people around me who have my confidence and I am free to talk with them about myself at a certain level, but every one of them is limited. To some I can talk about religion, to others about school, to others about my family, etc but I haven’t found my alter ego as I described it before. Does it really exist? I feel that my current friendships (which are good, BTW) can’t fulfill this need in my heart.

Any insights? I understand that maybe you don’t understand what I mean, it’s a little bit of confusion in my head, but it’s something I have reflected a lot upon.

I completely understand what you mean. All my life I’ve felt like I’ve had lots of buddies and friendships on one level, but never a “soul mate” type of relationship or a deep friendship. Even my marriage has limits - my husband does not want to talk about God or faith and that is the center of my life, so I feel a very real wall between us.

I have come to understand that for me, the type of relationship you and I are longing for can be with only one - God Himself. Only He can fulfill me at the deepest level, only He is always available to share my greatest fears and my greatest joys.

I’m sorry if that sounds trite or like a brush-off. We all desire human connections and interactions, and I think some people do experience deeper relationships with others so yes, I think “soul mates” exist. It just hasn’t been something granted to me.

And that’s ok - I will cherish the relationships I have for what they are, I try to be a great friend and listener to others who want to share their hearts and hopes and dreams and hurts, and I will share my own with the Lover of my soul.

You aren’t alone

 

[KrazyKat]

“…if you set your peace in any person, for your own pleasure in his friendship , you will always be unstable and never content.”

“You ought to be so dead to such affections towards your friends, that, inasmuch as is in you, you would consent willingly to be without all human company. Man approaches as much nearer to God as he departs from all earthly solace.”

The Imitation of Christ
Chapter 42

 

[fred_conty]

I completely understand what you mean. All my life I’ve felt like I’ve had lots of buddies and friendships on one level, but never a “soul mate” type of relationship or a deep friendship. Even my marriage has limits - my husband does not want to talk about God or faith and that is the center of my life, so I feel a very real wall between us.

I have come to understand that for me, the type of relationship you and I are longing for can be with only one - God Himself. Only He can fulfill me at the deepest level, only He is always available to share my greatest fears and my greatest joys.

I’m sorry if that sounds trite or like a brush-off. We all desire human connections and interactions, and I think some people do experience deeper relationships with others so yes, I think “soul mates” exist. It just hasn’t been something granted to me.

And that’s ok - I will cherish the relationships I have for what they are, I try to be a great friend and listener to others who want to share their hearts and hopes and dreams and hurts, and I will share my own with the Lover of my soul.

You aren’t alone

This has great insight. Very well explained.

 

[Julie_de_Sales]

I completely understand what you mean. All my life I’ve felt like I’ve had lots of buddies and friendships on one level, but never a “soul mate” type of relationship or a deep friendship. Even my marriage has limits - my husband does not want to talk about God or faith and that is the center of my life, so I feel a very real wall between us.

I have come to understand that for me, the type of relationship you and I are longing for can be with only one - God Himself. Only He can fulfill me at the deepest level, only He is always available to share my greatest fears and my greatest joys.

I’m sorry if that sounds trite or like a brush-off. We all desire human connections and interactions, and I think some people do experience deeper relationships with others so yes, I think “soul mates” exist. It just hasn’t been something granted to me.

And that’s ok - I will cherish the relationships I have for what they are, I try to be a great friend and listener to others who want to share their hearts and hopes and dreams and hurts, and I will share my own with the Lover of my soul.

You aren’t alone

Thank you very much!

 

[ready]

I’d seek a more intimate relationship with Our Lord, Who alone can give you the understanding and counsel that you truly need. Your soul will remain restless until it rests in Him. God bless you.