I’m 24 years old and have been trying to decide since high school what I want to do.
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Sorry this is so long, I really don’t have a lot of friends that I can talk to about this kind of thing and it feels great to have a board like this of people who care/listen. Hope I didn’t ramble too much but that’s my story of why I am discerning and how it’s going.
PTJMC
I can fully understand where you are coming from.
When I was in High School I attended several discernemnt retreats, as I was seriously considering the possibility of joining the Priesthood. At that time in Ireland most orders were advising school leavers to go to university or some other job first for a few years after leaving school. Through those later years I realised that Gods call to me was to be First, a Husband & a Daddy. He sent me prophesies on how to recognise my wife, & specifically told me “She is for you” in a quiet internal voice when I finally met her.
Now I am a husband, and a Dad, and have a 2nd baby on the way… I am again hearing the call to an ordained ministry… I am considering the possibility of a call to the Diaconate… but it could be 15 years away for all I know (theres a normal presumption against ordaining men with young children, and I’ll only just reach the minimum age of ordination (35) in the next couple of years). I have been told that the young children issue has been waived in my dioceses before, but I am certainly not holding my breath, as our bishop dies this year, and we don’t yet know who the new bishop will be or what his attitudes to these issues will be.
There are 3 main questions I would advise you to consider, and I would strongly advise you to get regular spiritual direction from a priest approved for directing people who are considering ordination.
- consider: is you call to be a “Father” - an ordained, chaste man married to the church - or to be a "Daddy - married to a woman, and the unordained royal priest of your domestic church, teaching a small family to love the Lord?
- If you are called to the chaste ordained life of the Priesthood (or other celibate life) are you called to be a Secular priest, working in the World for your Local Bishop, as a parish Priest or similar?
- Are you called to the Religious life in an order, living in a community, to Vows of Chastity, Poverty and Obedience - This is more likely if you feel the Secular life could be too lonely for you. - Less likely if you feel called to the life of a Parish Priest.
You mention that you feel strongly called to teach - but not in a school setting. Seriously look at the Dominicans (Order of Preachers). Their motto is “To Praise, to Bless and to Preach” - if you are in North America they advertise the contact details for their vocations director on EWTN Radio (links on the front page of this website). If you are outside North America you’ll need to look them up yourself.
in discerning options 2 & 3 I would strongly reccomend that you take time (probably on vation time from work) to follow your parish priest for a few days (or another priest willing to let you do so) to see what the daily life of a secular priest is like
Similarly if you feel called to the Religious life, you need to visit the monasteries of the order(s) you feel attracted to and spend time in retreat with them, seeing what their lives are like.
Many people considering vocations are advised to undertake a silent retreat. a spiritual director or vocations director will point you in the right direction.
The best way to discern your vocation is to assume it is real, and act accordingly.
Start to pray some part of the Divine Office every day - all religious are obliged to pray some part of this prayer (most religious pray the whole of it ). It will help you to discern.
look up LOTH or Divine Office on this website. There are several resources available on other websites. You will be introduced to it if you attend a formal retreat at a monastery.
I Love this form of prayer.