Any Reverts out there?

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Milasol

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Hello I am new to this forum. I love it so far.

I wanted to ask all the folks out there who left the Church and then came back. What made you come back?

A particular person?
A specific book?
Desperate prayer?
The Holy Spirit?
The world turning upside-down?
I stopped going to Church about 15 years ago. I only went to confession 10 years ago and only because I was visiting Rome and it was in St. Peter’s basilica. It was not a good confession.

I never ceased to believe in God but I, because of my pride, left the Church.

Not long ago I prayed one night after hitting bottom. I only asked “God please give me faith”

Later I started to read different testimonies. One testimony of a revert in particular impacted me so much that I started to pray more.

I then started to read the Saints. St. Catherine’s Dialogue to be exact. One sentence of this book is like reading tomes and tomes of books in the course of 10 lifetimes.

I learned for the first time the meaning of the Holy Mass. Yes, for the first time in my life I learned the meaning of the Mass despite the fact that I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school, come from an Opus Dei family of 10. Have 72 first cousins ALL Catholic. I grew up in a country where more than 80% of the population was Catholic.

The first time I went back to Mass, after 15 years, I went to confession. I didn’t even remember the act of Contrition. I had to print it from the internet.

After confession, I knelt and I cried and cried. Then I took Communion and I cried some more. It was incredible.

Now there isn’t a second that goes by that I don’t think and talk to God, Jesus, Mary, all the Saints, and also my angel and all the other angels. Not one minute goes by that I am not aware of their presence.

All of this made me come back to the Church aside from being depressed at the state of immorality of our society.

Finally, when I asked God to give me faith. He delivered. So much that sometimes I don’t know what to think of it. It’s as if I am not in present time or even in this world of flesh. I angst to go with Him but I am glad He gave me this time to start correcting myself and also grow in grace. I am such a sinner that I got to the point where I had no idea the sins I was committing were even sins. And of course, hell didn’t exist either. I am now terrified of it.

Anyone else got an interesting story?

Oh and I can surely say I owe a lot of the knowledge I recently learned to Peter Kreeft, Scott Hahn, Tim Staples, Steve Ray, Carl Keating, Patrick Madrid, Kimberly Hahn, and many others.

PS. I feel alone in this journey and so I am very happy I found a community here on this forum. I just started this journey a few months ago and I can’t even tell anyone.
 
Pax Christi!

I’ll share my story tomorrow - it’s bedtime for me.

But thank you for sharing! And welcome back!

God bless you and everyone.
 
I was non practicing for 10 years. I was absolutely certain God did not exist and the religion I had been raised in was all a ruse. I was sure I would never believe in God again, and couldn’t for the life of me understand how anybody actually believed in God.

One night as I went to bed sure as ever in my atheism, I just suddenly randomly prayed to Jesus and said “You know I still love you, right?” It was completely out of the blue, no warning signs or preceding events that I was aware of. Over the next several days all I could think about was God. All that made sense to me was God. I could no longer even remember what my arguments for atheism were.

I slowly over the course of a month began to read the bible more and more, and read things on the internet. I clicked on the website of my local parish one day out of curiosity (I was hesitant to return to Catholicism) which had a banner on it for Catholics Come Home. As soon as I read those words I burst into tears. I went to the Church the next day and attended daily Mass. I asked the priest to hear my confession after Mass.

I noticed a banner hanging from the chuch walls and asked what this Year of Faith thing was about. Turns out my experience with my sudden out of the blue prayer happened exactly at the begining of The Year of Faith.
 
Pablopedro said:
I was non practicing for 10 years. I was absolutely certain God did not exist and the religion I had been raised in was all a ruse. I was sure I would never believe in God again, and couldn’t for the life of me understand how anybody actually believed in God.

One night as I went to bed sure as ever in my atheism, I just suddenly randomly prayed to Jesus and said “You know I still love you, right?” It was completely out of the blue, no warning signs or preceding events that I was aware of. Over the next several days all I could think about was God. All that made sense to me was God. I could no longer even remember what my arguments for atheism were.

I slowly over the course of a month began to read the bible more and more, and read things on the internet. I clicked on the website of my local parish one day out of curiosity (I was hesitant to return to Catholicism) which had a banner on it for Catholics Come Home. As soon as I read those words I burst into tears. I went to the Church the next day and attended daily Mass. I asked the priest to hear my confession after Mass.

I noticed a banner hanging from the chuch walls and asked what this Year of Faith thing was about. Turns out my experience with my sudden out of the blue prayer happened exactly at the begining of The Year of Faith.
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Wow! Unreal. From one day to the next all because of that prayer? Did you pray consciously or was it out of the blue without you willing it? And why would you say that prayer if you were an atheist?
 
Milasol said:
Wow! Unreal. From one day to the next all because of that prayer? Did you pray consciously or was it out of the blue without you willing it? And why would you say that prayer if you were an atheist?
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Completely out of the blue, I had no idea why I said the prayer. And I might add I was a fairly outspoken Atheist, belonging to many local groups and had even begun an atheist charity. You can imagine how shocked I and everyone who knows me was about my sudden conversion. Ridiculing religion one day, believer the next.
 
Pablopedro said:
Completely out of the blue, I had no idea why I said the prayer. And I might add I was a fairly outspoken Atheist, belonging to many local groups and had even begun an atheist charity. You can imagine how shocked I and everyone who knows me was about my sudden conversion. Ridiculing religion one day, believer the next.
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Incredible. Your case reminds me of “The Raving Atheist” who promoted and appeared in the atheist movie called The God Who Wasn’t There. He was also a blogger who for years formed this community of atheist. He was never even a Christian and from one day to the next he posted in his atheist blog ravingatheist.com/2008/12/christ-is-the-lord/
His atheist followers thought it was a prank but to this day he is a Catholic and a pro-life activist.

Your case is amazing though.
 
Milasol said:
Incredible. Your case reminds me of “The Raving Atheist” who promoted and appeared in the atheist movie called The God Who Wasn’t There. He was also a blogger who for years formed this community of atheist. He was never even a Christian and from one day to the next he posted in his atheist blog ravingatheist.com/2008/12/christ-is-the-lord/
His atheist followers thought it was a prank but to this day he is a Catholic and a pro-life activist.

Your case is amazing though.
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Yours is too. It is very humbling how quickly God’s grace could accomplish what my mind could not.
 
Thank you for sharing your story!
I had failed so completely that I felt my only solution was jumping off a building. I seriously contemplated it and felt absolutely worthless and unable to carry on; that I was nothing but a burden to those who loved me. I’m still lacking the security that I have always wished for, but now I don’t feel so utterly alone. I had foolishly discarded my Faith when I was young and convinced that I knew everything. It has become clear to me that I don’t know $#!+, however I am hopeful. I am moved by Pope Francis and his message, as I understand it, that the main concern of the faithful should be to alleviate the suffering of our brothers and sisters here on earth. I have 30 years of sinfulness and wretchedness for which I need to atone. I need to find my purpose. I had been told my whole life that I am clever, but I had made a God out of the attainment of earthly riches and strayed from the path of making a better world for my brothers and sisters. I am a coward and I have not made a sufficient effort to follow the Lord’s guidance. And for this reason I’m floundering purposelessly.
 
Wretched_One said:
Thank you for sharing your story!
I had failed so completely that I felt my only solution was jumping off a building. I seriously contemplated it and felt absolutely worthless and unable to carry on; that I was nothing but a burden to those who loved me. I’m still lacking the security that I have always wished for, but now I don’t feel so utterly alone. I had foolishly discarded my Faith when I was young and convinced that I knew everything. It has become clear to me that I don’t know $#!+, however I am hopeful. I am moved by Pope Francis and his message, as I understand it, that the main concern of the faithful should be to alleviate the suffering of our brothers and sisters here on earth. I have 30 years of sinfulness and wretchedness for which I need to atone. I need to find my purpose. I had been told my whole life that I am clever, but I had made a God out of the attainment of earthly riches and strayed from the path of making a better world for my brothers and sisters. I am a coward and I have not made a sufficient effort to follow the Lord’s guidance. And for this reason I’m floundering purposelessly.
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wow I am speechless. You seem to have an incredible gift of humility. Not many could say what you say.
I too contemplated killing myself. But now I thank God I was a coward and didn’t go forth with it. I actually believe the devil tries to convince us to kill ourselves when he thinks he’ll get us in the afterlife.
" I had been told my whole life that I am clever, but I had made a God out of the attainment of earthly riches"
You are so lucky to have realized this while you are here. I know so many people, including people close to me that are so attached to material things.

I am glad you like Pope Francis. I am from the same city he was a priest and a Bishop in and he is a great person. At first I was surprised and even hesitant at some of the things he was saying. But then I reflected and realize that what he says about materialism is so real and we all need to take part on it to combat it. He is also a staunch conservative, I know what he did all along. His way of communicating the messages is just with love and that’s why people don’t get what he is saying sometimes.

Here is a picture of our Pope when he was a priest in Buenos Aires. Always a supporter of missionaries and pro-life. Photobucket
That’s a group of young missionaries and pro-life workers with Pope Francis when he was Bishop.

I hope the picture comes up. s237.photobucket.com/user/msolanet/media/5efa1efa99.jpg.html
 
I am a revert. I am back because of a friend, someone who came into my life for a specific reason and wound up having a much bigger purpose. And it was nothing she SAID, necessarily, although our discussions did help make me more comfortable with certain aspects of the Church. It was how she ACTED. I never stopped believing the fundamental tenets, I just didn’t understand how I could live a life in accordance with them. She gave me the example I needed by how she lives hers.

I actually told her this recently, and I’ve never seen someone have a bigger, more genuine smile on her face. I am grateful for her every day.
 
I was a cradle Catholic who even went to parochial school, but who left the church after V2 and was gone for 30+ years. I was a child of the 60’s and found so much wrong with the church from all the changes they made such as demolishing the communion rails and singing rock music at Mass that it just lost its appeal. (If I wanted to hear guitars and drums I decided it was way more fun and much better music to go to a Rolling Stones concert than a post V2 Mass!) As I got older, I disagreed with things like having only male priests, and the church’s position on divorce and contraception in particular. Then the pedophile priest scandal hit and the concept of how the church moved their pervert priests around to protect them just disgusted me down to my toenails. My mom continued as a Catholic and prayed for me daily I’m pretty sure. Sometimes we’d even argue religion but I was always firm: I felt that if Jesus came back and found the popes and bishops living like kings he’d drop a drone on the whole thing.

My mom lived to age 98. Of course she had a Catholic funeral and I met the pastor of our local Catholic church here at her funeral Mass and as I made arrangements. He asked me why I fell away and I told him straight up what I thought of his church–I mean what did I have to lose? As far as I was concerned, once I buried my mom, I had no plans that included the Catholic church here or anywhere… He made a project out of me, coming to visit, arguing heresies with me etc–and for some reason it stuck. Maybe it’s my age now, maybe it was my mother’s prayers. I still question some things Catholic but I find obedience to be lot easier in my 60’s than in my 20’s or 30’s! LOL! I am very glad and exceedingly thankful to be back!
 
I was close to God when I was young and in my teens; so much so that I considered a vocation. Then, the abuse scandal broke in Ireland and I fell into sin in college and had a baby. I had him christened and attended Mass sporadically but was essentially non practicing, for about 10 years.

The turn came for me when a priest at our parish confessed, from the pulpit, that he and his brother had been victims of clerical abuse. As he described his struggle to his vocation, forgiveness and the redemption therein, my hardened heart broke and I truly went into mourning for what I had thrown away.

My prayer life in my youth; in retrospect; was very rich and fulfilling and this is something I have yet to regain. My prayer is still that of two acquaintances talking; rather than the meeting of hearts I once knew. This has been my biggest loss and I feel that the barrier is my own lingering guilt of abandoning God, knowing He would never abandon me. I know in my head that this is not the case but this knowledge hasn’t yet soaked into my heart.

Coming home has been bittersweet for me. I have come as far as the hall but cannot reach the hearth and it has brought me into gentle conflict with my brothers, who followed their big sister out of the Church. I have a lot to be sorry for!

To anyone who has come away from their church; please do come home. The hollow that was in my heart couldn’t be filled by my child, my boyfriend, my family, my career, or any amount of money or things. It fit exactly the shape of God’s hand. Come home. x
 
mrsjennymulhall said:
I was close to God when I was young and in my teens; so much so that I considered a vocation. Then, the abuse scandal broke in Ireland and I fell into sin in college and had a baby. I had him christened and attended Mass sporadically but was essentially non practicing, for about 10 years.

The turn came for me when a priest at our parish confessed, from the pulpit, that he and his brother had been victims of clerical abuse. As he described his struggle to his vocation, forgiveness and the redemption therein, my hardened heart broke and I truly went into mourning for what I had thrown away.

My prayer life in my youth; in retrospect; was very rich and fulfilling and this is something I have yet to regain. My prayer is still that of two acquaintances talking; rather than the meeting of hearts I once knew. This has been my biggest loss and I feel that the barrier is my own lingering guilt of abandoning God, knowing He would never abandon me. I know in my head that this is not the case but this knowledge hasn’t yet soaked into my heart.

Coming home has been bittersweet for me. I have come as far as the hall but cannot reach the hearth and it has brought me into gentle conflict with my brothers, who followed their big sister out of the Church. I have a lot to be sorry for!

To anyone who has come away from their church; please do come home. The hollow that was in my heart couldn’t be filled by my child, my boyfriend, my family, my career, or any amount of money or things. It fit exactly the shape of God’s hand. Come home. x
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I am not a revert but I know many who are and they are usually more knowledgeable Catholics than those of us who take our Faith for granted. They have studied into the faith so much more. Converts too. God Bless you all, you are an inspiration to us. We will pray your brothers will follow you right back into the Church. Don’t hide your joy from them, God Bless, Memaw
 
An amazing story. All the stories here are excellent.
Thank you all for sharing.

Welcome back home.
 
Milasol said:
I wanted to ask all the folks out there who left the Church and then came back. What made you come back?

A particular person?
A specific book?
Desperate prayer?
The Holy Spirit?
The world turning upside-down?
Click to expand...
I didnt technically leave the church, my parents did with us kids in tow in June '69. I attempted going back when I was 18 but met an unresponsive priest, attended mass a few times but was so lost because everything had changed. When a co-worker realized I was an unchurched Christian, she invited me to her Baptist Christmas candlelight service. I was hooked, I got to study the Bible, I was part of a church family. I then met and married a Pentacostal man. I was a believer and a churchgoer for over 30yrs albeit in the protestant world, then both my husband and I came to the conclusion that sola scriptura wasnt enough. We spent over a year attempting to become Orthodox because my husband was anti-Catholic. I finally told my husband I was going back to the Catholic church. Easier said than done. I realized I am a very odd, specific kind of revert. I didnt ‘hate’ the Catholic church, I never left in the first place. I bought the Catechism when it was published in '95 to prove to protestants that their arguments were unfounded. In our diocese, the parishes are huge and very understaffed. There was no priest in our home parish. I tried several RCIAs, was told many different things I needed to get done in order to be reconciled. It was one big confusing mess. For months I tried to talk to a priest. My appointments were cancelled if I was fortunate to even be able to make one, once, a priest simply didnt even show up. I sat alone in the parking lot for an hour waiting. Dont apologize. Do not be sorry for me. I spent months praying, refamiliarizing myself with the rosary, going to Mass, daily Mass, Latin Mass, reading about the saints, Marian apparitions, etc. What was God trying to show me, teach me? What I had loved as a child was gone or never even existed? I finally was able to speak with a priest. The paperwork was overwhelming. I learned I was not ‘married’. I had to get ‘remarried’ and that sent my conscious reeling. The deacon actually tried to get us to go to our ‘home’ parish, but they still didnt have a priest. I tried one more parish and that deacon left during Lent and left us hanging. Here was a revert with a once anti-Catholic husband now willing to be Catholic and we were clueless on this coming home process. I gave up.

My husband suggested an Eastern Catholic parish. We made an appointment with the priest. He listened. He processed the paperwork. My husband was accepted by examination and still attends private one on one instruction with the priest. We were both confirmed, our marriage blessed and we are active members in a small parish. Its sad when you cant go back home, but I’ve been adopted by a good family.
 
Casilda said:
I didnt technically leave the church, my parents did with us kids in tow in June '69. I attempted going back when I was 18 but met an unresponsive priest, attended mass a few times but was so lost because everything had changed. When a co-worker realized I was an unchurched Christian, she invited me to her Baptist Christmas candlelight service. I was hooked, I got to study the Bible, I was part of a church family. I then met and married a Pentacostal man. I was a believer and a churchgoer for over 30yrs albeit in the protestant world, then both my husband and I came to the conclusion that sola scriptura wasnt enough. We spent over a year attempting to become Orthodox because my husband was anti-Catholic. I finally told my husband I was going back to the Catholic church. Easier said than done. I realized I am a very odd, specific kind of revert. I didnt ‘hate’ the Catholic church, I never left in the first place. I bought the Catechism when it was published in '95 to prove to protestants that their arguments were unfounded. In our diocese, the parishes are huge and very understaffed. There was no priest in our home parish. I tried several RCIAs, was told many different things I needed to get done in order to be reconciled. It was one big confusing mess. For months I tried to talk to a priest. My appointments were cancelled if I was fortunate to even be able to make one, once, a priest simply didnt even show up. I sat alone in the parking lot for an hour waiting. Dont apologize. Do not be sorry for me. I spent months praying, refamiliarizing myself with the rosary, going to Mass, daily Mass, Latin Mass, reading about the saints, Marian apparitions, etc. What was God trying to show me, teach me? What I had loved as a child was gone or never even existed? I finally was able to speak with a priest. The paperwork was overwhelming. I learned I was not ‘married’. I had to get ‘remarried’ and that sent my conscious reeling. The deacon actually tried to get us to go to our ‘home’ parish, but they still didnt have a priest. I tried one more parish and that deacon left during Lent and left us hanging. Here was a revert with a once anti-Catholic husband now willing to be Catholic and we were clueless on this coming home process. I gave up.

My husband suggested an Eastern Catholic parish. We made an appointment with the priest. He listened. He processed the paperwork. My husband was accepted by examination and still attends private one on one instruction with the priest. We were both confirmed, our marriage blessed and we are active members in a small parish. Its sad when you cant go back home, but I’ve been adopted by a good family.
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Sorry about you such sad experiences. Your still in the Catholic Church as the Meronite Rite is a Catholic Rite too. God Bless. Memaw
 
When I was a teenager I fell away from the faith (I was born Catholic, went to Mass, went to CCD classes, got confirmed, etc.). From what I understand this is a typical phase that teenagers go through, to be anti-religion, not interested in religion, and to be rebellious. I can only wonder how much it’s changed now.

Anyway in college I had a random conversion experience that was brought upon by a Saint (St. Peregrine Laziosi). I had a random intention just to go back to Mass-even though I knew little about the Catholic faith (from lack of interest in my teenage days). The spiritual journey for me is one of slow progress; to me this is good, because it gives me time to think and contemplate. I now have a prayer life (though sadly, it is lessened now because of the long shifts I work), read the Bible, attend weekly Mass (honestly I would love to go daily if I could), try to do monthly Confession (I would like to go once a week), devotional reading, have an interest in Church history, etc.

There are still a lot of personal problems I am trying to fight (self-negativity, lack of motivation, occasional temptations in my thoughts, bad language, some procrastination, etc.) and it’s not an easy battle. I tend to shy away from people I don’t know; I just have trust issues with strangers. I want to fix this, because I am supposed to love my neighbor. I am hoping eventually that I can try to volunteer somewhere and I’m wondering if I can eventually become enrolled as a Tertiary in a religious order.

I am growing frustrated of all the liturgical abuses that are common in American diocese, especially my parish. I am now wondering where I belong in the Church and what my role is. Perhaps, time will tell.
 
I came back to the Church from atheism after reading C.S. Lewis and G.K. Chesterton. Despite rejecting God it remained clear to me that the soul was seperate from the body and consciousness could not come from matter. I had a terrible conversion experience where I trembled and was ill for several days from the fear of God. I had thought that I could do as I pleased and I had lived a life of grievous sin.

I became bored with the modern world and its nonsense and sought something else. I agreed with many of the sentiments expressed and arguements raised by these writers and then I gradually recovered my belief in God. My belief in hell came later and was sudden. I was unsure of which church was the true church but when I read the catechism it became clear.
 
Milasol said:
Hello I am new to this forum. I love it so far.

I wanted to ask all the folks out there who left the Church and then came back. What made you come back?

A particular person?
A specific book?
Desperate prayer?
The Holy Spirit?
The world turning upside-down?
I stopped going to Church about 15 years ago. I only went to confession 10 years ago and only because I was visiting Rome and it was in St. Peter’s basilica. It was not a good confession.

I never ceased to believe in God but I, because of my pride, left the Church.

Not long ago I prayed one night after hitting bottom. I only asked “God please give me faith”

Later I started to read different testimonies. One testimony of a revert in particular impacted me so much that I started to pray more.

I then started to read the Saints. St. Catherine’s Dialogue to be exact. One sentence of this book is like reading tomes and tomes of books in the course of 10 lifetimes.

I learned for the first time the meaning of the Holy Mass. Yes, for the first time in my life I learned the meaning of the Mass despite the fact that I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school, come from an Opus Dei family of 10. Have 72 first cousins ALL Catholic. I grew up in a country where more than 80% of the population was Catholic.

The first time I went back to Mass, after 15 years, I went to confession. I didn’t even remember the act of Contrition. I had to print it from the internet.

After confession, I knelt and I cried and cried. Then I took Communion and I cried some more. It was incredible.

Now there isn’t a second that goes by that I don’t think and talk to God, Jesus, Mary, all the Saints, and also my angel and all the other angels. Not one minute goes by that I am not aware of their presence.

All of this made me come back to the Church aside from being depressed at the state of immorality of our society.

Finally, when I asked God to give me faith. He delivered. So much that sometimes I don’t know what to think of it. It’s as if I am not in present time or even in this world of flesh. I angst to go with Him but I am glad He gave me this time to start correcting myself and also grow in grace. I am such a sinner that I got to the point where I had no idea the sins I was committing were even sins. And of course, hell didn’t exist either. I am now terrified of it.

Anyone else got an interesting story?

Oh and I can surely say I owe a lot of the knowledge I recently learned to Peter Kreeft, Scott Hahn, Tim Staples, Steve Ray, Carl Keating, Patrick Madrid, Kimberly Hahn, and many others.

PS. I feel alone in this journey and so I am very happy I found a community here on this forum. I just started this journey a few months ago and I can’t even tell anyone.
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I’m a Catholic revert. I stopped going to church in 2005 and came back in 2011. I didn’t go to confession until 2012 because I was scared and I wasn’t prepared for confession. I actually started going back to church because of a Protestant friend, I had to do a project for a religion class and I interviewed him and he seemed so at peace. I have a lot of personal problems and crosses to carry and I was looking for something positive and I found it in Jesus Christ and his Church.
 
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