I ended up courting the lovely daughter of a large family of staunch SSPX traditionalists. She is now my wife and the wonderful mother of my four young children. So I have the SSPX to thank for her!!
My estrangement from the SSPX began a few years ago. I was increasingly put off by certain subcultural tendencies in our chapel, which I felt were probably similar all over - eg, obsession over skirts; excessive rigorism; a holier-than-thou mentality; a “negative” outlook on everything; cynicism and love of conspiracy theories; far right sympathies and a “them and us” mentality, a sectarian, cultish spirit - the SSPX right or wrong, or the SSPX can do no wrong, all outside are Protestants, even pagans, the exceptions are just that, exceptions, and if only they knew about us they would follow us. Failure to support the SSPX was seen as evidence of ones ignorance, moral cowardice, doctrinal deviance or malice.
In fairness, not all SSPXers exhibit these tendencies, and those that do, do so in different degrees. Most are decent pious people, not much different from other folk, other than, on average, more conservative socially and more devout. I have met some wonderful people, truly exemplary Catholics, charitable and kind and count them among my friends. But…the cultishness and going to extremes, and so on, and the mistrust of the mainstream, are undoubtedly there as a sufficient subcultural tendency that it is a problem.
This all got me thinking. Then came Pope Benedict XVI’s motu proprio on the TLM and we began to have (low key) “regular” TLMs in our diocese. Now our chapel only has Sunday Mass twice a month; the SSPX advises people not to attend the Novus Ordo, but attend the chapel for Rosary on “Mass-less” Sundays. What to do? Some went to the “regular” Tridentine Mass when available, others refused to do so, saying it would be a “danger to their faith” to attend the Tridentine Mass of a priest who also says the Novus Ordo. We have had big arguments in our chapel about this, with the SSPX priests themselves ranging from the ambivalent, to the downright “anti” people attending other Masses. The bias has been very much to the latter.
All of this got me questioning the SSPX position.
However, my wife is really SSPX raised, and while she is happy to attend non-SSPX Tridentine Masses on a Sunday, when they are available (the priest says them when he can, and times them to co-incide with Mass-less Sundays at the chapel), she is unwilling to cut ties with the SSPX. She doesn’t agree that they are wrong, and the fact that Rome now says we may attend the SSPX Masses as long as we don’t imbibe a schismatic mentality, and it is not a sin to go to them, makes reasoning with her hard - it seems unnecessary, or at least less urgent, to cut ties and all the trauma and family conflict that will cause, when even Rome says it’s not a sin to go and we can fulfil our Sunday obligation there. She hasn’t attended the Novus Ordo since she was a child, other than an ordination and the first Mass of a family member, which was a big culture shock for her. Prospects for a stable, regular Tridentine Mass said by the “regular” priest are not very good - he doesn’t have the full support of his community (he belongs to an order/society of apostolic life) let alone the bishop, and is very busy, and so the Masses have generally been very low key and attended by only a small group and they mostly from the SSPX chapel.
Now I attend the SSPX with my wife and kids when they have Mass; we attend the regular TLM when it is available. When there is no TLM I attend the parish of the TLM-saying priest, which is the most orthodox parish available. I go on my own, as my wife won’t attend, and doesn’t want our kids to be confused by attending two very different Masses, especially one she views as detrimental and irreverent.
So we have a complex situation. I don’t support the SSPX any more, though I am symapthetic to many of their concerns, and pray for their return to full communion. However, given the years of separation and the subculture and ideology that has grown up around them, this will be a tough and long road, and one which many will be unwilling to travel. Too many people have been brainwashed by their rhetoric. Thankfully, by no means all are, and their presence makes my attending the chapel still a tolerable experience. There are some very sensible, balanced people, still attending SSPX Masses, and they make me feel less of an “outsider” now that I no longer go along with the SSPX ideology.
OK so the Anglicans are worse off than I thought - sorry about that. Regardless – my point on the Sacraments still has not been answered.