Any tech savvy people that can answer a question for me?

[Theo520]

My inbox is full of porn invites, and I’ve never been anywhere near a pornographic website.

exactly, they are buying email lists and just doing their marketing. Visiting a web site doesn’t automatically reveal your email address.

To the OP, the controls on a phone are very different than on a PC, don’t assume the worst.

 

[Legend]

The fact that the O P wants to monitor her husband’s computer shows that there is something VERY wrong here.
OP, I answered one of your earlier threads, when you were away, and wanted to know whether it’s time for you to return. I answered you, that you should make sure that he had stopped drinking, before making such a move.
I stand by my advice, but also acknowledge that I’m far from tha final authority on such things! But, if you decide to stay with this man, keep in mind…this is the best things are going to get. I know some people say that they know of alcoholics who have returned to ‘occasional’ or ‘social’ drinking. While I don’t question the truth of their statements, it doesn’t fit with the way your husband has been behaving.
He won’t stop drinking (or cheating on you, for that matter) until he does it for himself. Not you, not his kids, but himself! You know he has lied to you, then changed the agreement, such as, when you find a liquor bottle on him, you’re ‘micromanaging’ him. If you can live with this, fine, but don’t put any faith in what he says. He’s proven, many times, that he won’t change. Stop expecting anything from him!

Nowhere does the church say that you have to live with a lying, abusive spouse. And the way you posted this…I passed over it for day, thinking it was a technical issue!

 

[exiled1]

Legend,
To everyone who has taken the time to listen to all of my fears and concerns, I thank you so much.
I am weak and afraid, and I just can’t bring myself to take legal action yet. We (the kids and I) are scheduled to leave this weekend and return to my family home.
These next few days will be decision time.

 

[Legend]

Please, don’t allow anyone to change your plans. It seems as if he’s always changing the agreements he makes with you. He seems to want his family…but, not enough for HIM to have to change.
You have been been posting on this subject for quite a while. In fact, some people have stopped reading your threads, as their advice has been ignored. I’m certainly no ‘relationship expert’ so, I think you’ll have me around for a while. As I’ve said before, why hasn’t he taken exception with your insistence that he stop drinking? It seems that he makes a promise, goes back on it, and gives an ‘explanation’ only after he’s been caught? You shouldn’t be put in this position. Plus, if he lies about drinking, what other things has he been lying about? Other women? STD’s? Someone brought that up on one of your threads…please, don’t take that risk. If you have the slightest suspicion, see a doctor!
It seems like he wants you and the kids there, but not enough to change, to work for. From what I’ve read, they all think you should leave. The younger ones, if I am correct, will be adults fairly soon. So, you really just have to face the truth yourself, and move on. I wish you the best in this, and will be praying.
God Bless!!!

 

[GodSpawned]

He has persisted is saying that I needed to come back to see that he has changed

This is raising big red flags for me. This sounds to me like emotional abuse. He is making himself the victim rather than you or your children.
Be wary. Look after yourself and your children.

As stated by others, there will always be ways around any technology blocks you put in place.

Will pray things improve for you and your family.

 

[exiled1]

I find myself to be one of those people who complains constantly, but then has a reason why they can’t execute the solutions offered to them by others.
I totally understand why some have stopped reading my threads, and I don’t blame them. Heck, I’m sick of it all.
I will have to prove he is a danger to prevent him from sharing custody. If he gets them for weekends or weeks at a time, there will be no one to try to interrupt his tirades, or to soothe them afterwards. I cannot be there to try to keep a lid on him giving drinks to the teenagers.
Trust God that He will help me to prove that my husband is unfit to have them alone? Trust that, just maybe, when my husband is served with legal papers, that he knows his manipulations and games are over and he gets himself together? Trust that, at the very least, my husband will see that there is an easy way or a hard way to do this? Well, I’ll meet with my lawyer in my home state next week (God willing) and she will get the process started. Please pray that I have courage to actually go through this life-altering decision.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

I find myself to be one of those people who complains constantly, but then has a reason why they can’t execute the solutions offered to them by others.
I totally understand why some have stopped reading my threads, and I don’t blame them. Heck, I’m sick of it all.
I will have to prove he is a danger to prevent him from sharing custody. If he gets them for weekends or weeks at a time, there will be no one to try to interrupt his tirades, or to soothe them afterwards. I cannot be there to try to keep a lid on him giving drinks to the teenagers.
Trust God that He will help me to prove that my husband is unfit to have them alone? Trust that, just maybe, when my husband is served with legal papers, that he k

GO
TO
A
LAWYER

You think you can protect your children by “being there” but you’re not. It may sound harsh but needing to be in the ICU means that you failed to protect them.

You are making it sound like you need to go out on a limb and trust God.

YOU need to be an adult, get your ducks in a row. Get a restraining order for yourself. Get one for your children. Copy your posts here and go hand-in-hand with a lawyer to a judge. What you’ve said on here alone is more than enough to get a restraining order and emergency custody in most states.

Your children deserve better than living with a parent who cares more about their father’s temper tantrums than whether they live or die…literally. Your child was in the ICU because of her father. He has exercised terrible judgment in allowing them to do illegal things.

Seriously. This isn’t about “trusting God” this is about using the brain God gave you to keep your children safe.

Your children will, one day, I pray have good people in their lives. Be prepared that you may be persona non grata if you continue this ridiculous quest to stay with your husband.

 

[Irishmom2]

You will have to prove he is a danger? Yes, you will. And it should be easy. He sent your daughter to the hospital.

Stop delaying. Stop questioning your trust as if wording it correctly to God will make it happen. Just trust him, no definitions of anything needed. Every time you delay and question whether your husband will change, he doesn’t. This time will be no different.

God is not asking you to stay with him. He does ask you to protect your children.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

You will have to prove he is a danger? Yes, you will. And it should be easy. He sent your daughter to the hospital.

Stop delaying. Stop questioning your trust as if wording it correctly to God will make it happen. Just trust him, no definitions of anything needed. Every time you delay and question whether your husband will change, he doesn’t. This time will be no different.

God is not asking you to stay with him. He does ask you to protect your children.

And he’s atleast once (if not more) had cops called on him for allowing teens to drive illegally and drink underage. All of that is in the public record. Not sure why CPS isn’t already involved…

 

[Legend]

Amen to that!
OP, if you do try to stay with your husband, and he lets them drink and drive in your presence, you both may lose your underage kids. It will look as if you ‘gave permission’ as well as he!
Please, let them have at least one strong, moral, parent!