Any women here who did NOT plan (or want) a fancy dream wedding?

[Kliska]

You know, now that I think about it…what exactly constitutes an elopement in the modern day? Most of the times I’ve heard of it were more historical cases of marrying secretly because you couldn’t get the family’s permission.

“Elope appears to have become shorthand for “small destination wedding,” “wedding that is not financially insane,” or “wedding that allows us to not invite all the people we would rather not invite.” This certainly differs from the “disapproving parents and sudden questionable decisions” sense of the word, but is it new?” merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/read-this-before-you-elope

 

[DarkLight]

“Elope appears to have become shorthand for “small destination wedding,” “wedding that is not financially insane,” or “wedding that allows us to not invite all the people we would rather not invite.” This certainly differs from the “disapproving parents and sudden questionable decisions” sense of the word, but is it new?” merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/read-this-before-you-elope

I was thinking of it in terms of the whole “Catholics can’t elope.” I suppose Catholics generally aren’t supposed to have a destination wedding. But I can hardly see parental disapproval to be much of an obstacle nowadays in the western world. And there’s no rule that says 2 Catholics can’t have a wedding with just the priest and the minimum required number of witnesses, if they so choose (potential offenses against charity aside).

 

[Kliska]

I was thinking of it in terms of the whole “Catholics can’t elope.” I suppose Catholics generally aren’t supposed to have a destination wedding. But I can hardly see parental disapproval to be much of an obstacle nowadays in the western world. And there’s no rule that says 2 Catholics can’t have a wedding with just the priest and the minimum required number of witnesses, if they so choose (potential offenses against charity aside).

Right, that’s what I would say falls within the new, more modern usage of “elope.” Apparently it wouldn’t be a hindrance to a religious wedding.

 

[ItTakesAllKinds]

My husband and I got married civilly. We were just going to have the JP and our best man and maid of honor. My parents refused to come because it wasn’t a Catholic wedding. My 6 siblings got wind of our plans and insisted we had a wedding with the trimmings. They were so supportive, so we went ahead with it. It was still a very small affair… Gardens wedding and backyard reception. It was lovely though, and I cherish the memory of it. We will celebrate our 30th anniversary this summer.

 

[crenfro]

Hello.

Been married for 25 years now and I feel the same as you and I’m glad we didn’t have a big wedding.

Including my husband & I and the priest, there were 6 people at our wedding. It was lovely.

 

[holyrood]

While I am not even sure anymore if I am suited to marriage, growing up I did expect to eventually marry and have children. While I am still open to that, I do think it is quite possible that is not in the cards.

However, even when I hoped to marry, I really never had any fancy detailed plan for a “dream wedding” that had to be followed to a tee despite the expenses or inconvenience to others. A quick courthouse wedding with 2 witnesses would be just fine with me. (Yes, I know that if I become Catholic I must marry in the Church, but even there the minimum requirements are to have a priest or deacon and 2 witnesses, not even a wedding Mass is required.)

So, am I completely abnormal as a woman, for having this nonchalant approach to my possible wedding? I don’t even care about the honeymoon, there are certain things I know I do NOT want such as a cruise, as I have heard too many horror stories and I get seasick quite easily. But I’d probably go along with whatever my husband wanted as long as it wasn’t too crazy.

I never thought about or planned my wedding as a child. When I did get married, I had two weddings, as our families lived half a world apart. I planned neither. My MIL and mother both seemed excited to do it, I really mostly just showed up and was quite happy with that.

If I ever get married again, I very actively do *not *want a big church wedding. Or a big wedding at all. I find it stressful to even have a passing thought about having to plan such a thing. It just doesn’t interest me.

There are probably multiple reasons for this, but among them, I think, is seeing a friend have a huge elaborate bash, only to have her husband announce 8 months later he was really gay after all and divorcing her.

We put far too much emphasis on weddings and far too little on marriage.

If you’re abnormal, so am I!