Anybody else afraid of becoming a saint?

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mary_s_kid

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Sounds ludacris at first but I feel like I’ve been thru alot in my life and I can see now how God used my suffering for the good of myself and others. My problem is the closer I feel to God I get nervous He is going to send me more suffering to offer up. I look at the lives of the saints and it seems that in order to live up to being a saint one would have to endure tremendous suffering.

I think of what suffering would possibly come to me and I feel ok with it if it happens to me. But what if it happens to one of my kids? That’s when I start backing away from a closer relationship with God. I tell myself “Be not afraid, be not afraid.” but I can’t seem to get past this.

Am I being superstitous? Anybody else feel this way? (and please, I’m not saying I am anywhere near being saintly :o but we are all called to be saints so I ask the rest of you who are striving for sainthood how to deal with this fear)
 
I know exactly what you mean here.

For years I looked at Mother Teresa, with the thought that she seemed totally happy in what she was doing. And then I’d say, "but even if I was happy doing that, that is not the way I want to be happy! " :rolleyes: I was setting all kinds of limits on how God was going to be allowed to give me joy. Similarly, I intentionally did not pursue any kind of spiritual journey for many years for exactly the reasons you mention: that I recognized that if I committed to God, things weren’t going to get easier, they were going to get harder.

I have since come to the realization that the only choice I have is to trust God, and to go on with life truly believing that whatever He passes my way will be for my good and to accomplish His purposes. If I truly believe it is HIS creation, and HIS plan, then I have to reach the point of accepting whatever suffering comes my way.

Yes, it is much more difficult when that suffering involves someone close to me rather than me directly. And I find myself praying very hard to pass it on to me instead, even when I know that can’t be done. And to be fair, I still rage and complain over some of the decisions He makes, and wait patiently for the day when I get up there and can explain how He should have handled some of those things. :o

But for now, while I will claim no holiness for myself, I have accepted that God has made each of us to be saints. And so I have created my own little saint icon, based on the Pigpen character from Peanuts. The dirts still swirls around me, muddying up my halo and helping me to realize how much I’m still in the world–even as I try to not be “of” it.

It’s not much, but at least it keeps me focused on the work I have left to do and that it won’t be me cleaning up the halo.

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Peace,
 
Sometimes I do. It scares me that I know the right thing to do would be to accept. I actually want some joy in life, and when I say, “Thy will be done,” I often say it in resignation and sometimes associate it with suffering.

By the way, not all saints were contemplative sufferers. There’s always some heroic virtue, but that doesn’t always mean getting hit hard all life long.
 
I signed on at confirmation to be a soldier for Christ.
The only tragedy is not becoming a saint.

Matthew
 
I’m more afraid of not becoming a saint. I am too aware of how weak I am.
 
I know how exactly how you feel, but I suppose the thing for us to remember is that, this life is temporary. Sure, we’ll suffer, but it’ll be worth it, when we are rewarded for all of eternity! That’s the important part…

Now, if only I could apply that philosophy to my own life. ^^;; Ah well, keep slogging, I suppose. ^^
 
I do know what you mean, because sometimes it has seemed like I just can’t bear anymore. Somehow it seems though like I always can take a little bit more. I guess God knows my limits better than I do. I don’t know, I’ve spent so much time in the agony in the garden, at the scourging at the pillar, and the crowning with thorns, that now as I carry my cross, and it is so heavy, I just wish the crucifixion would get here and I could get through it. What comes next is pretty much what I am living for.
 
mary_s_kid said:
I look at the lives of the saints and it seems that in order to live up to being a saint one would have to endure tremendous suffering.

I think of what suffering would possibly come to me and I feel ok with it if it happens to me. But what if it happens to one of my kids? That’s when I start backing away from a closer relationship with God. I tell myself “Be not afraid, be not afraid.” but I can’t seem to get past this.

Anybody else feel this way? (and please, I’m not saying I am anywhere near being saintly :o but we are all called to be saints so I ask the rest of you who are striving for sainthood how to deal with this fear)
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I completely understand your feeling and concern.
When I get closer to God, and strive for holiness, I am afraid my total obedience which increases the capacity of accepting cross, will bring more sufferings. I often thought about this during the past and I wondered if I would want to give my total surrender.

But I feel the Holy Spirit constantly leads me to move forward. It seems that there is no way to stop or slow down the desire of working toward holiness. (I am not saying I am anywhere near holiness either.)
Therefore, I stopped worrying. I won’t seek for any cross. And I just have to trust in the Sacred Heart of Jesus that He will never send any unnecessary hardship. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13

Since God said his plan is to prosper me not to harm me, and he said when I pray to him, he will listen to me, I can always pray for my children’s well beings and God’s blessing and favor be upon them. And I do earnestly pray so every day.

I cannot not strive for holiness just because I fear the possible suffering may result from it. I believe if I seek first God’s Kingdom and his righteousness, all good things will be added to me.

Cross is part of everyone’s life. Strive for holiness or not, crosses exist.
 
Thank you to everyone who’s replied so far. 🙂 I appreciate the responses.
Ncjohn, I liked your Pigpen analogy! Your response is comforting because you show the human side of your emotions struggling with your desire of trying to get closer to God and how it conflicts sometimes. Thank you.

Inlight247, thank you for quoting that passage in Jeremiah. I don’t know my Bible as well as I should and that’s a great passage. But when I started to think about it, I thought of Job. Certainly, he sought God with his heart but look at the calamity to befell him. That confuses me. And I know God eventually restored what Job had lost but God couldn’t take away the grief Job must have experienced in losing his first family.

I know I am to love God with all my heart above all others but when it comes to the well being of my kids, well, … Am I supposed to love them but be detached from them at the same time? I don’t know how to do that.
I’ve grown spiritually by the suffering I’ve been through. Now I’m afraid to grow more spiritually because I feel that God will require more suffering from me. And, for me, the most suffering would come thru harm to my kids.
 
mary_s_kid said:
I’ve grown spiritually by the suffering I’ve been through. Now I’m afraid to grow more spiritually because I feel that God will require more suffering from me. And, for me, the most suffering would come thru harm to my kids.
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Seems pretty normal to me. 🙂

I know when it comes to my kids, that seems to be the only time that sincere prayer begins to turn into “let’s make a deal prayer”. (Let me live long enough to see that they’ve turned out OK…if there’s illness better me than them, etc)

I’ve lived though enough at this point to know what a serious thing I’m asking when I pray, “Make me the man you want me to be”.
In fact, I would say that half the time, I’m afraid to even say that line, because, yes, my spiritual growth has most often come through suffering.
 
mary_s_kid said:
Thank you to everyone who’s replied so far. 🙂 I appreciate the responses.
Ncjohn, I liked your Pigpen analogy! Your response is comforting because you show the human side of your emotions struggling with your desire of trying to get closer to God and how it conflicts sometimes. Thank you.

Inlight247, thank you for quoting that passage in Jeremiah. I don’t know my Bible as well as I should and that’s a great passage. But when I started to think about it, I thought of Job. Certainly, he sought God with his heart but look at the calamity to befell him. That confuses me. And I know God eventually restored what Job had lost but God couldn’t take away the grief Job must have experienced in losing his first family.

I know I am to love God with all my heart above all others but when it comes to the well being of my kids, well, … Am I supposed to love them but be detached from them at the same time? I don’t know how to do that.
I’ve grown spiritually by the suffering I’ve been through. Now I’m afraid to grow more spiritually because I feel that God will require more suffering from me. And, for me, the most suffering would come thru harm to my kids.
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I identify with your concern well. It’s my concern also. But I don’t think God sends suffering on purpose. I really don’t. Last year my daughter went through some real hard time, it was also the time after I made good progress in my spirituality and became more determined to closely follow the Lord. I asked my spiritual director if God was testing my faith by giving my daughter the hardships. My SD said the center of event was on my daughter, not on me. And God was not testing me by giving my daughter sufferings. I believed my SD, prayed and encouraged my daughter to seek God more closely. My daughter started to pray rosary every day and read Bible every night. One of the problem she faced was later replaced by a much better outcome, and we thank God million times for that. The other hardship, when looking back, we also thank God for that. Though we are still waiting for our prayers to be answered we know God will give her the best, and the answer is on its way! Hardships help us grow if we allow God’s grace to be received. God’s grace is always available if we are willing to accept them. God will not treat everyone as he treated Job. There was only one Job. Whether we offer our total obedience or not, we will face tests in life. With total obedience, we may carry the cross better and step up to a higher ground.

God cares every details of our lives, he will not give us trials on purpose. He is a loving God. Don’t be afraid to follow Jesus whole heartedly. He will not give us any burden we cannot carry.

I want to thank you for initiating this topic. It must be concerns of many. At least, I have struggled with it myself.
 
Becoming a saint is scary, but I think if we’re really on the right path with Jesus He will make our lives a joy, even if there is suffering along the way.

Becoming a saint on earth is the easy way though. It’s much harder once we’ve passed through this life and have to leave it up to the fires of purgatory to do it for us. For God all things are possible, but still, it’s better to do it while we are still partners in our own salvation.

I don’t think anybody became a saint by wanting to be one, or by wanting to suffer. People become saints by looking to others and following where their faith prompts them to go. Concentrate on that first and foremost, on loving God by loving your neighbour. For you, that probably means being the best parent you can possibly be to your kids, and whatever else is important in the life God has given you. Let that be your offering first and foremost, and take joy in offering yourself up for your family and your neighbours in a sacrificial way.
 
dulcissima said:
I do know what you mean, because sometimes it has seemed like I just can’t bear anymore. Somehow it seems though like I always can take a little bit more. I guess God knows my limits better than I do. I don’t know, I’ve spent so much time in the agony in the garden, at the scourging at the pillar, and the crowning with thorns, that now as I carry my cross, and it is so heavy, I just wish the crucifixion would get here and I could get through it. What comes next is pretty much what I am living for.
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I see I’m not the only one to use the Sorrowful mysteries as a metaphore for my journey…
 
Me? 🙂 A saint? 🙂 Are you praticing a schtic? 😃

I have no chance of that :o
 
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