C
chevalier
Guest
Hey, guys. I need some recommendations. I work as a freelancer in a sort of creative field that’s also heavy on hard stuff such as law & economy and sometimes other academic fields, so you could say it’s kinda like being both a writer and a lawyer. Freelance obviously means ups and downs and feast-and-famine cycles, odd hours and all sorts of anti-social habits.
The problem: I can’t get myself to work these days. It’s not like laziness or depression, though. It’s like I really don’t want to do that work, like my system is fighting or delaying it, which for example means that a morning press round-up can last till noon and beyond. On some days I don’t absolutely have to work — deadlines still have the effect of making me make it — I end up not actually working.
I can’t say I hate my work, but it looks like I’d be doing anything else but it. Make coffee, go to the gents, make tea, take a quick walk, go do some ‘necessary’ shopping, read just one more article online, read a chapter or two (or twenty) in that new book, play a game for a while, play with the cat, anything and everything.
And if not that, then anything and everything is wrong. Wrong height of the desk. Chair armrests (adjustable) too high or too low, or the two not aligned — and this can take hours if I really lose it. I mean I could literally spend hours mostly adjusting the chair and not getting the work done or even started.
If I can p(name removed by moderator)oint any cause, and that’s just trying to take a bird’s-eye view of myself, I guess some resentment at rates, agencies (middlemen) and their habits, clients to a lesser extent, some general inability to make a good living while doing this work (though it pays better than most of the alternatives, and many people are less lucky) and… and I don’t really know. Tiredness? Too much gazing into a 24’’ mostly white LED screen? (It does seem to get better working on a laptop for a while, at least in this respect, though for obvious reasons laptops and their smaller screens are less practical if there’s a lot of research and comparative analysis of several texts at once to do.)
Or I’m tired and drowsy right from the morn’ and by the time I incaffeinate myself sufficiently to grasp the reins in a firmer hand, figuratively speaking, it’s also late in the day and there’s little time left to do anything meaningful, plus all the caffeine itself causes fatigue. I’m convinced things would be totally different in a salaried job.
I don’t exactly need a pep talk — I don’t doubt it would have a limited beneficial effect, but I could give myself one just as well. I’d like some practical advice from those of y’all who’ve been in a similar situation in the past. Any tips? (Other than looking for a salaried job, which is already on my to-do list.) Thanks.
The problem: I can’t get myself to work these days. It’s not like laziness or depression, though. It’s like I really don’t want to do that work, like my system is fighting or delaying it, which for example means that a morning press round-up can last till noon and beyond. On some days I don’t absolutely have to work — deadlines still have the effect of making me make it — I end up not actually working.
I can’t say I hate my work, but it looks like I’d be doing anything else but it. Make coffee, go to the gents, make tea, take a quick walk, go do some ‘necessary’ shopping, read just one more article online, read a chapter or two (or twenty) in that new book, play a game for a while, play with the cat, anything and everything.
And if not that, then anything and everything is wrong. Wrong height of the desk. Chair armrests (adjustable) too high or too low, or the two not aligned — and this can take hours if I really lose it. I mean I could literally spend hours mostly adjusting the chair and not getting the work done or even started.
If I can p(name removed by moderator)oint any cause, and that’s just trying to take a bird’s-eye view of myself, I guess some resentment at rates, agencies (middlemen) and their habits, clients to a lesser extent, some general inability to make a good living while doing this work (though it pays better than most of the alternatives, and many people are less lucky) and… and I don’t really know. Tiredness? Too much gazing into a 24’’ mostly white LED screen? (It does seem to get better working on a laptop for a while, at least in this respect, though for obvious reasons laptops and their smaller screens are less practical if there’s a lot of research and comparative analysis of several texts at once to do.)
Or I’m tired and drowsy right from the morn’ and by the time I incaffeinate myself sufficiently to grasp the reins in a firmer hand, figuratively speaking, it’s also late in the day and there’s little time left to do anything meaningful, plus all the caffeine itself causes fatigue. I’m convinced things would be totally different in a salaried job.
I don’t exactly need a pep talk — I don’t doubt it would have a limited beneficial effect, but I could give myself one just as well. I’d like some practical advice from those of y’all who’ve been in a similar situation in the past. Any tips? (Other than looking for a salaried job, which is already on my to-do list.) Thanks.